The Art of Contentment

by Kelly

“I am content; that is a blessing greater than riches; and he to whom that is given need ask no more.” ~ Henry Fielding

Seeking.  Striving.  Exploring.  Learning.

All words you could use to describe the early stages of my relationship with photography.  And I do not believe it was a coincidence that I was also approaching my life the same way at the time…working through my mid-life crisis/empty-nest issues.  Looking for answers to some of life’s big questions.

In the beginning, I spent so much time and energy behind the lens and in front the screen…when I look back, it really was a time of very active growth.  I was reading everything I could get my hands on.  Experimenting with technique and style.  Making big discoveries about both my Life and my Art.

Life and Art….for me they always seem to go hand in hand.  

Lately though, it’s been a different story.  Less striving…less struggling.  A certain sense of quiet peace about both my life and my photography.

So, just to be clear, I am absolutely NOT pretending that life is perfect and I have all my problems worked out!  And I’m certainly not stating that I don’t have room to grow in my photography!  I guess what I am trying to say is that even in the midst of their imperfections and incompleteness, I feel content in both of these areas in my life right now.  For now, I am satisfied with where I am at.

Even as recently as a couple of years ago though this kind of quietness (or anything even **remotely** resembling emptiness) would have sent me into major hustle mode – Take a new class!  Start a new project!  I would have found some way to busy it up.  Fill up the space.  I had this notion that if I was not actively pursuing improvement in my Art then basically I was a total slacker.

But I am slowly learning Art isn’t only found in the relentless striving and the big epiphanies.  Art is wherever the heart is, so that means there can also be Art in contentment as well.

Finding the heart in my Art…it’s the core of my word for the year – CONNECT.  Connecting my hands, my head, and my heart in all of my creative pursuits.  And beyond the surface connotation of how it might apply to crafty-type endeavors, instead, where I am truly focusing my attention is in motivation behind my Art.  Making sure my Art is not driven by one of my “Big Three Art Killers”:

• the comparison trap
• fear of missing out
• hustling for worthiness

So then what does finding contentment in my Art look like?  For me, it starts with acknowledging the ebb and flow of creativity.  Getting comfortable with the seasons of life.  I believe the art of contentment also has its foundation in gratitude and mindfulness.  Staying present and avoiding my tendency to find distraction from uncomfortable situations and emotions.  And lastly, for me especially, resisting the urge to fill this quiet peacefulness with empty busyness.  

I think it's important here to add here that contentment is not complacency.  Whereas complacency is rooted in smugness and pride, contentment owes its origins to fulfillment and serenity.  Complacency boldly proclaims that I have learned enough.  Contentment whispers that there is much more to learn, but I am ok with the not-knowing.  

So to that end, I continue to pursue my creative vision of finding magic, wonder, and joy in my ordinary life. I still take photos everyday.  I'm still working to nail focus and exposure.  I am still looking to composition to help me accurately tell the story in my photo.  Because I want to continue to evolve as a photographer and as a person.  And I believe that being happy where I am right now is rich and fertile ground from which to grow.

Until next time,

Kelly

Music of the earth . . .

by Kim

"Flowers are the music of the ground
from earth's lips spoken without sound."
- Edwin Curran

A seed is planted, it sprouts, and a plant is born.

It continues to grow with the nurturing help of the sun and water and the nutrients in the soil. Stems will rise above leaves and the roots will reach further into the soil.  And as it continues to grow, a tiny bud will begin to form. The bud will continue growing until it matures enough to start opening. And as it begins the process of opening, petal by petal, its personality will finally be revealed. But at some point, it will lose its luster and the petals will fall.

A flower is born, a flower dies.

We, are like flowers. Each one of us a different color, shape and size. Some are playful, or mysterious, and while some are bold, others tend to be soft, like a whisper. We are all beautiful in our own right, but unfortunately some will go unnoticed altogether.

We, are like flowers. Except that we don't judge flowers. We accept them just the way they are, flaws and all. Although we don't call them flaws, we call it character.

We too, are like the flowers . . . we too are the music of the earth.

And each one of us holds the same importance in regards to making that beautiful music. We need to be careful though, that we don't make the same mistake as Pythagoras by discarding the fifth hammer. Because it is almost always the ones we least expect that are responsible for the harmony. They are the secret to the entire sound of the music precisely because they aren't perfect.

A seed is planted, it spouts, and a plant is born. With a few essentials, we all have the possibility of blooming, and we should remember that it takes all of us to make harmony possible.

Here's to a musical day,

Kim xo

A Measurement of Growth

by Kim

I was at my nursery several times last week, to check on milkweed arrivals, and for inspiration, and for some all around nature therapy. And a lot has happened in the two weeks since I've been there.

The peach blossoms are gone and in their place are now tiny growing peaches. The azaleas are in full bloom, and the camellia run is almost over. The bees are in full-on nectar gathering mode, and there are more and more butterflies fluttering around. The herbs are plentiful, although no egg sightings yet, the fragrance in the air is intoxicating, and, there is barely a parking space to be found. Wait, I forgot mosquitoes...yes it's March and we already have mosquitoes in Texas!

All sure signs that spring is well on her way (that, and the monarchs have left their overwintering site in Mexico).

But one of the things I really noticed, was what happened between the time I took the photo above to this one (below) . . . .

Real, tangible, evidence of growth!

But is wasn't until I was driving in the car with my husband over the weekend admiring all the new green on the trees, that I started thinking about this, because yes, leaf growth is riveting in my world.

It's something you can see, something you can measure almost like days. And I began to wonder, how do we measure our growth, can we? Sure when we are kids, through adolescence and up to adulthood, you can physically see the growth. Even emotionally through all those stages. And what about once we reach that stage of adulthood, what then?

But, personal growth is just that, personal on all levels. Some much easier to see over time, and some not so much. Sometimes we grow, and then sometimes we shrink. And the measurement is most likely not universal because it will vary greatly among us.

And even though the leaves are a sign of growth, it's inside the tree trunk in its rings where the real growth lies. Some years it grows more than others, and some years not so much.

And maybe the same goes for us as long as we are always in that process of looking [inside] at our life and changing who we really are to match our beliefs and dreams, while facing our fears. I know I have some courage to gather, and fears to face, as there are some things I've been feeling led to do.   

The trees are much more dependent on the elements they need for growth, and don't even get to choose the path they are on. We however, do get to decide what's necessary for us, to decide what is missing and how we can improve and what changes we need to make. And the biggest growth doesn't happen in just knowing this, but acting on it. And as always, so much easier said than done.

Did you watch the Winter Olympics? Do you remember Amy Purdy, the snow boarder who lost her legs when she was about 19 years old to bacterial meningitis? Her story is so inspiring and to me she is the definition of personal growth.

She asked herself this question...."If my life were a book and I was the author how would I want this story to go." It changed everything for her.

And as the author of my own book, I'm asking myself the same question, while reaching for enough courage to play myself in some of the chapters.

My garden is agreeable . . .

by Kim

"One of the new things people began to find out in the last century was that

thoughts-just mere thoughts-are as powerful as electric batteries-as good for

one as sunlight is, or as bad for one as poison. To let a sad thought or a bad one get

into your mind is as dangerous as letting a scarlet fever germ get into your body. If

you let it stay there after it has got in you may never get over it as long as you

live...surprising things can happen to any one who, when a disagreeable or

discouraged thought comes into his mind, just has the sense to remember in time

and push it out by putting in an agreeable determinedly courageous one. Two

things cannot be in one place.

"Where you tend a rose my lad, a thistle cannot grow."

- Frances Hodgson Burnett, The Secret Garden

Sometimes the ebb and flow of life will hand you a detour, a very disagreeable detour, and one that will require some off road driving with a few bumps.

And sometimes, sometimes it can be so hard to navigate disagreeable, especially when the path is not easily seen, and definitely not familiar.

Unless of course, you have an agreeable garden, which I very much do! Maybe not so much in the abundance of plants, but in the diversity of its patterns and rhythm, and in it's good-naturedness.

So every morning I start my day on my front porch in search of agreeable amongst the disagreeable even in a good natured garden.

I have a lizard that comes to greet me each morning waiting for me to spritz her favorite plant with water. A momma who feeds her baby birds that have fledged the nest and is no longer dive bombing me. For bees and butterflies and for caterpillars and toads.

And just recently I've had dozens of dragonflies hanging out in the garden like angels. Their wings shimmering in the gentle breeze like gold. Coming over and hovering right in front of me, one by one. And not just dragonflies, but damselflies too.

I've never seen so many in my garden before, and certainly not all at once for this long. I have had many interesting encounters with dragonflies in the past as well, so I decided to look up their Native American symbolism. And wouldn't you know the dragonfly represents transformation and life's ever constant process of change and the understanding of the deeper meaning of life. Things that make me go . . . hmmm.

So since two things can't be in the same place, I'm trying to give my attention to the rose. But the silver lining is that even if a thistle is found nearby . . . they attract butterflies!

What is your agreeable?

How I Put my Inner Critic Back in its Place

by Kelly

I don’t know why I let this get to me.

For starters, Scott Kelby has no idea who I am.  And secondly, he has never seen any of my work.  Yet, after watching just one episode of ‘The Grid’ last week, my inner critic was unleashed, and for the past week or so it has been sucking the joy right out of my photography.

If you are unfamiliar, ‘The Grid' is a weekly, web-based photography program.  And periodically, they host live critiques of viewer submitted photos.  Most of the time, the submissions are from professional photographers seeking feedback about their photography portfolios.  Scott and his co-host, Matt Kloskowski, will then offer their opinions and/or advice about how the shot might be improved.

I would like to state for the record that I am not hating on Scott Kelby.  In fact, after watching this episode, I am more of a fan than ever.

Anyway, one of the most common suggestions Scott shares in his critiques is for photographers to take ‘interesting’ photos.  Whether it’s a detailed macro shot of a flower or an awe-inspiring landscape shot, in his opinion (which he is quick to point out is just that – his opinion) interesting subject matter is what makes for a great photograph.

Here’s my problem though…I am not a professional photographer, nor do I have aspirations to be a professional photographer.  But I still want to take great photographs.  Even as a self-proclaimed ‘lifestyle’ or ‘everyday’ photographer, I still want to make powerful, meaningful, compelling images.  And so that’s when things start to unravel for me….ordinary life is, by the very virtue of its name, well...ordinary right?  So then I would suggest that taking interesting photographs of ordinary things might be a little more challenging than one might think.

Now, the rational part of my brain knows that it is indeed possible to take interesting photos of ordinary life..my sisters here at Focusing on Life are living proof.  And to be honest, it's not that I think I take bad photos (please...I swear...I'm not fishing for compliments or soliciting validation for my work).  It's just that when it comes to my work, I have a hard time seeing it objectively.

Especially when my inner critic is running amok.

I should share with you that this is not the first time I’ve battled my inner critic…a couple of years ago, the same exact thing happened.  So this time I was quick to recognize its mean and nasty voice:

• you finally got the new camera you’ve been wanting for a year and your focus still sucks.
• your compositions are totally unimaginative and uninspiring.
• your post-processing has become predictable and lackluster

Taking a lesson from my own book, I have learned that the sure-fire way to take down my inner critic is to take all that negative, destructive criticism and reframe it with a positive, constructive suggestion. So I decided that instead of beating myself up, I would instead honor my journey and how far I’ve come already.

The way I am choosing to see it now…I am a photographer with room for improvement.  And just so you know, I don’t consider that to be a negative thing at all!  In fact, the opportunity to grow as a photographer and as a person has always been one of the very things I love about photography.  Furthermore, because of this little episode, I feel like I have crossed over somehow into a more mature relationship with my art. If that makes any sense at all.  For me, it’s almost like there has been a certain kind of freedom in the humility to say that I am still learning and growing as a photographer. And this openness to the process will hopefully be a conduit for unleashing my creativity and improving my technical abilities.

As I wrap this up, I might also add here that I don't usually like to publish these kinds of posts.  In a world so full of sadness and suffering, the creative angst of a strung-out working mom hardly seems like a real problem.  But I decided to share this with you for a couple of reasons.  The first being that when I am struggling with something kind of personal like this, it often causes me (for lack of a better word) a kind of temporary writers’ block.  And anything else that I write tends to feel, for me anyway, colossally bogus and inauthentic. So thank you for giving me this space to sort of work some of this out.

But the main reason I wanted to share this today is that, if/when you ever come face to face with your inner critic, you can hopefully take comfort in knowing that this happens to everyone from time to time…regardless of where you are in your journey or how long you have been at any kind of creative pursuit.  And regarding the journey, the one thing I know to be true....if you can learn to see your challenges a little differently, you will also be able to see yourself a little differently too.

I would love to hear from you on this topic.  Have gone to war with your inner critic before?  And if so, how do you deal with it?  Because it's time to put it back in its place and reclaim our joy.

Love, Kelly

Still Life

by Carol

Still Life

Still Life. Nothing.



But look closer

There is a reaching.

There is a shedding of the old.

What is inside is exposed.

These things are happening to the tree.

But then , there is light

Look closer




GROWTH

Often in life, we feel stuck, still.

We complain about the things that are happening to us.

But breathe in the still.

Give the stillness time.

And you will see

Growth