Connection

by Judy

Just a few days ago I was sitting in a Doctor's waiting room, very much in my own head. Nervous and worried and gently rubbing my thumb back and forth over the tiny cross that my lovely neighbor gave me years ago, while staring at the crazy design on the carpeting under my feet. 

I looked up and I looked around at the other women sharing the waiting room with me.  I wondered - what are their stories?  Why are they here?  They all seem calm, but within their own heads, just as I was.  

I smiled at the older woman near me and I asked, "how are you"? A flood of words came out of her... about how she'd been cancer free for ten years now.  About how this radiologist was the best and had saved her life, but that she was still always worried that they might find more cancer. She asked me my story and I shared with her why I was there.  She asked me where I was from and about my family, and she told me about her oldest daughter just becoming a grandmother, and she a great-grandmother.  

When my name was called and I stood to follow the radiology technician, she reached out to me, touched my hand, smiled and said "good luck."  I responded with a smile and a "good luck to you too."  

That tiny bit of human interaction at a time that I really just wanted to withdraw into myself made me feel better.  And I truly think that I  made that woman feel better too.  I realized that I wasn't alone.  I wasn't the only one fearful and worried and needing a prayer.  

I'm not a big chit-chatter by nature.  I feel that I'm a friendly person, but find it difficult to carry on a conversation with a total stranger.  I am so glad that I looked up that day.  I'm so glad that I smiled at the woman and asked her how she was.  As she opened up I realized that she needed some human interaction.  We both needed that "we're in the same boat" feeling, and we're not alone with this.  

As children we are warned to not talk to strangers. I think we subconsciously carry this warning with us even as adults. But everywhere we go we are surrounded by people we don't know. Maybe the next time we're tempted to withdraw into our phones, or a book, or to put our earbuds in to prevent conversation, maybe we could just look around. If we took a second to smile and to ask "how are you"?, or to declare "nice day" it may be just the opening that a person needs to release some fear or worry, or to get something off of their chest.

Remember, these people we walk past every day, or sit next to in a waiting room, have names. They have families and worries and hopes and dreams.  Just like we do.  

 "Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."  

  

Through Her Lens

by Kelly

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen nor touched but are felt in the heart. Helen Keller

Standing on the shoulders of giants.

That’s what comes to mind when I think about my photography…when I think about what it means to be a female photographer. Great works by the likes of Dorothea Lange, Vivian Maier, and Sally Mann, immediately come to mind. I love the way they capture everyday moments, but even more than that, I am particularly inspired by their gritty, almost raw, portraits.  How they seem to capture not only a moment in time, but also the full spectrum of human emotion in their subjects.

I thought the subject of women photographers was fitting since March is designated as National Women’s History Month – the purpose of which is to honor and celebrate the accomplishments of women. The three women I mentioned (along with many, many others) paved the way for all of us who dare look through the lens and press the shutter. All of us who have experienced great healing from putting ourselves in the presence of beauty and wonder. All of us who use photography as a tool to challenge ourselves to see the world differently and then go out share that with others.

The truth is, I wholeheartedly believe that women have a unique perspective when it comes to photography. And I think one of the reasons is because of our roles as mothers and/or care-givers...the way we nurture and tend to needs of our families and loved ones. It is a fact that women are hard-wired for bonding – connection to others is encoded in our DNA.  So it is no surprise to me that this shows up in our photography.

I recently had the opportunity to visit with Zach Jenkins, the Community & Content Manager at Flickr. This month Flickr is celebrating women in photography with the #ThroughHerLens campaign, and he urged me to invite all of you to share your work and your stories with the Flickr community.  I can’t think of a more fitting way to honor the legacy of the incredible women whose gifts and talents have made such a valuable contribution to world of photography.

Finally, I can’t speak about women and photography without thinking of you.  Community, connection, and inspiration has always been at the heart of what we do at Focusing on Life.  Our hope is to create a place where we can all learn and grow and nurture our passion for photography.  And I feel so proud and honored to share this space with all of you.

Until next time,

Kelly

The Benefits of Boredom

by Kelly

There is virtue in work and there is virtue in rest. Use both and overlook neither. ~ Alan Cohen

When is the last time you were bored?

No really…I mean it.  My guess is that your life looks anything like mine, there is seldom the opportunity for boredom.  But recently, while on vacation, my family got a front-row seat to boredom.  And it was the very best thing that could have happened to us.

So let me back up for a minute.  A couple of months ago, my husband, my adventure-seeker and intrepid traveler, starting firming up the plans for our vacation to Costa Rica.  Passports up to date…check.  Airline flights confirmed…check. Accommodations set up…check.  Check, check, check.

Regarding the accommodations, our VRBO rental boasted that it had the three, must-have amenities for American travelers – air-conditioning, satellite television, and Wi-Fi.   And when we finally arrived to our destination, the first thing Tripp did (as he usually does) is turn on the air-conditioner, turn on the TV, and check for internet connection.  Typically, in that order.

After choosing our bedrooms and getting settled in, the first thing Tripp noticed was that the satellite dish wasn’t working.   We were in a fairly remote area, so we only got one, poorly connected, local station.  In Español no less. But no TV, no problem!  We had internet!  Or so we thought.  Because after an hour of unplugging and replugging and checking and resetting, it became clear that, although we did indeed have access to the internet, it was nothing like the speed or bandwidth that we, as uber-connected individuals, have become accustomed to.   But it was getting late and starting to storm.  Plus we hadn’t eaten dinner yet and all of us were getting fairly “hangry’.  So we decided to let it be and go back into town for a bite to eat.

Now, I would just like to pause here for a minute to acknowledge the fact that all of the ‘problems’ we were facing are so totally #firstworldprobs.  OK?  And we knew it.  Lack of high-speed internet is not a real problem and I am grateful that, even as a ‘plugged in’ family, we knew the difference.  And what happened as a result, has been far more gratifying than anything we could have experienced while online.

Anyway, long story, short…the satellite never worked and the agonizingly slow Wi-Fi was the best that Costa Rica had to offer.  And with two days with no real ‘activities’ scheduled, that meant we were going to have to get creative…literally and figuratively.

I’d also like to add here that as an introvert, I am totally fine – no…in COMPLETE HEAVEN – when I have nothing to do and nowhere to go. Quiet time at “home” is my nirvana, whether I’m at “home” at my permanent address or at “home” on vacation.  My husband and daughter are wired differently however.  Both of them love to go and do, so two days with nothing planned was more like their worst nightmare.

One afternoon, I could see Tripp restless and roaming around the house and I asked him, “Dear, are you ok?  Are you bored out of your mind?”  To which he replied, “Yes… but it’s probably a good thing.”

I’ve been thinking about this conversation on and off for a month…how being bored can be a good thing.  And how rarely the thought of boredom even comes about in everyday life.  And how could it?  Between cable TV, Netflix, YouTube, Facebook, Instagram (just to name a few), there is no shortage of ‘entertainment’ or ways to fill up the space in our lives.  And it’s so easy…with just a touch, a world of entertainment is right at our fingertips…quite literally in the palms of our hands.  I also wonder if it’s a bit of a cultural thing too.  In society that prides itself on productivity and flaunts busy-ness like a badge of honor, it’s almost like boredom has become a dirty word.

But I would like to state for the record that boredom can be a good thing.  Because with no access to TV, we spent more time with our faces in books.  With limited access to social media, we socialized with each other over afternoon cocktails and ping pong.  Without all the noise of a plugged-in life, we spent two quiet days wandering, daydreaming, napping, and resting.  Really resting – body, mind, and spirit.  A complete reset for our souls.

The more I have pondered it, what if, rather than classifying boredom as apathetic tedium or a restless ennui, we could see it differently.  Similar to whitespace in photography, what if we saw boredom as breathing room…space for our world-weary souls to rest.  Whitespace is a critical element of design in all of the graphic arts – the use of which creates more meaningful and more aesthetically pleasing compositions.  So why wouldn’t I apply these same design practices to my own art?  The art that is my life?

More than any trinket or tchotchke, this was the one souvenir that I really wanted to bring home with me…permission to be bored.  The gift of breathing room. The freedom from hustle. The feeling of peace.  The connection to who and what matters most.  Because these are the benefits to boredom…and these are the gifts that keep on giving.

Until next time,
Kelly