There's one point in Anders Østergaard's documentary film TROLLKARLEN about the Swedish jazz musician Jan Johansson in which one of Johansson's friends talks about a dream he had after Jan died; In the dream he had just stepped out of a tube train in the Stockholm underground when he saw his friend at a distance, he followed him and when he finally caught up he asked: "Jan, where have you been? We thought you passed away" to which Jan coyly responded that he'd been away to help set up a music piece in Russia. Then the friend woke up and in the documentary movie you can see how his face changes when he continues "...but then everything was of course back to normal". It's weird how the mind works. A couple of nights ago I dreamt I was talking to some people and one of them turned to me and said: "She is dead" and pointed to a woman. I woke up and thought to myself: "That person didn't die, she doesn't even exist". Then I realised the person who made that comment to me was actually my mum who passed away in real life. We may get further away but it never really gets good.
Showing posts with label So sad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label So sad. Show all posts
Monday, May 16, 2011
...
There's one point in Anders Østergaard's documentary film TROLLKARLEN about the Swedish jazz musician Jan Johansson in which one of Johansson's friends talks about a dream he had after Jan died; In the dream he had just stepped out of a tube train in the Stockholm underground when he saw his friend at a distance, he followed him and when he finally caught up he asked: "Jan, where have you been? We thought you passed away" to which Jan coyly responded that he'd been away to help set up a music piece in Russia. Then the friend woke up and in the documentary movie you can see how his face changes when he continues "...but then everything was of course back to normal". It's weird how the mind works. A couple of nights ago I dreamt I was talking to some people and one of them turned to me and said: "She is dead" and pointed to a woman. I woke up and thought to myself: "That person didn't die, she doesn't even exist". Then I realised the person who made that comment to me was actually my mum who passed away in real life. We may get further away but it never really gets good.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
3'rd of June
The sun is shining but boo to that! It's the 3'rd of June and somehow the weather doesn't matter today. I can't believe it's already been a full year since everything changed. I'm meeting with my aunt today and we'll be going to that place which is so familiar to a horror movie fan; Yes, the graveyard. But this is no movie. Boo-hoo to that too.
:-(
:-(
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Two weeks later...
Just before last Christmas my mum went into hospital for a minor condition; she needed fluids. Unfortunately, instead of following my dad's instructions that she had never needed any medicine the hospital staff filled her with medicine. ANOTHER PATIENT'S MEDICINE mind you! She almost died. It was the worst Christmas ever! Going into hospital every day for a week and not being able to get into contact with my mum until the (wrong) medicine was out of her system. A conversation we had with a Swedish doctor is engraved in my mind; After a long day of not knowing what was going to happen he told us we might lose her. It wasn't till hours later they found out about their mistake. The cause: Another very ill patient who needed strong medicine who happened to HAVE THE SAME NAME as my mum. In Denmark each individual person has an ID number in order for this not to happen!! Gee, the system sure works, eh.
Anyway, my mum got better and came home, and we got another 6 months with her. And now it's all different. She's gone and nothing will ever be the same. I've never lost anyone close to me before so this is a completely new situation that I have to learn how to handle. And it's not easy let me tell you that! If my mum had been an ordinary mum I would probably have been sad and gloomy. But as it is my mum was the best mum ever. No comparison. Without my mum I would have spent a childhood in some orphanage (yes, I was an unwanted bastard, LOL). My mum took me in. Saved me. And she saved my dad too. He was, well no need to dwell on the past so lets just say we both owe her a tremendous debt.
It's two week later and we're trying to learn how to crawl again. It's not easy but somehow life and the world moves along. At the moment me and my dad are visiting relatives in one of the other Scandinavian countries (where my dad originates from). It's fun to be here, most things in the stores are the same but slightly different, and the locals speak a similar language to Danish (yes, we are in Jylland). My family on my dad's side all live in hillbilly country. Believe it or not but yesterday my aunt talked to me in a serious tone (while explaining some complicated family matter) about cousin "interminglings" buried in the past that we shouldn't talk about!!!!! Reminds me of a piece of dialogue from the old movie GATOR BAIT: "Hey, that's your sister!" :/
Today, I had a pretty good pizza (which was nice) and my grandmother (my dad's mum) fell and broke her hip (or something) (which was terrible) so yes the world does move on, and it's in total disregard to what life brings us of happiness or sadness one way or the other. It all just moves on. Unfortunately, from now on it'll be without my mum.
No, none of this is film stuff but guess what; in contradiction to what a few of you seem to think this is not a film blog. It's a blog about Jack J. I just happen to write a lot about films!
I've already mentioned this as a reply to the post before this one but I'd just like to say thank you again to everyone who made a comment either on this blog, my Filipino blog, or sent emails, text messages, PMs, and phoned. It's all VERY much appreciated!!!!!
Jack J
Anyway, my mum got better and came home, and we got another 6 months with her. And now it's all different. She's gone and nothing will ever be the same. I've never lost anyone close to me before so this is a completely new situation that I have to learn how to handle. And it's not easy let me tell you that! If my mum had been an ordinary mum I would probably have been sad and gloomy. But as it is my mum was the best mum ever. No comparison. Without my mum I would have spent a childhood in some orphanage (yes, I was an unwanted bastard, LOL). My mum took me in. Saved me. And she saved my dad too. He was, well no need to dwell on the past so lets just say we both owe her a tremendous debt.
It's two week later and we're trying to learn how to crawl again. It's not easy but somehow life and the world moves along. At the moment me and my dad are visiting relatives in one of the other Scandinavian countries (where my dad originates from). It's fun to be here, most things in the stores are the same but slightly different, and the locals speak a similar language to Danish (yes, we are in Jylland). My family on my dad's side all live in hillbilly country. Believe it or not but yesterday my aunt talked to me in a serious tone (while explaining some complicated family matter) about cousin "interminglings" buried in the past that we shouldn't talk about!!!!! Reminds me of a piece of dialogue from the old movie GATOR BAIT: "Hey, that's your sister!" :/
Today, I had a pretty good pizza (which was nice) and my grandmother (my dad's mum) fell and broke her hip (or something) (which was terrible) so yes the world does move on, and it's in total disregard to what life brings us of happiness or sadness one way or the other. It all just moves on. Unfortunately, from now on it'll be without my mum.
No, none of this is film stuff but guess what; in contradiction to what a few of you seem to think this is not a film blog. It's a blog about Jack J. I just happen to write a lot about films!
I've already mentioned this as a reply to the post before this one but I'd just like to say thank you again to everyone who made a comment either on this blog, my Filipino blog, or sent emails, text messages, PMs, and phoned. It's all VERY much appreciated!!!!!
Jack J
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Important message regarding Jack J
This goes out to everyone at the various forums I frequent (not least Cinehound, Dvdmanicas and Uncut.dk) and everyone that I'm in touch with, this means both Cyberspace people and real people.
I will only be posting this here so if anyone asks about me could you please let them know or refer them to this post. Thanks.
Unfortunately, everyone runs out of luck at some stage and this morning my mum passed away. I really don't feel like updating here or posting on message boards for the time being. So you'll have to live without me for a while. I don't know when I might return. If you're someone I owe something as part of a trade or otherwise; you will eventually get your stuff. Be seeing you.
Your friend
Jack J
I will only be posting this here so if anyone asks about me could you please let them know or refer them to this post. Thanks.
Unfortunately, everyone runs out of luck at some stage and this morning my mum passed away. I really don't feel like updating here or posting on message boards for the time being. So you'll have to live without me for a while. I don't know when I might return. If you're someone I owe something as part of a trade or otherwise; you will eventually get your stuff. Be seeing you.
Your friend
Jack J
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)