Showing posts with label Sludgecore. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sludgecore. Show all posts

Friday, 8 September 2023

Melvins – "A Tribute To Queen" (Amphetamine Reptile Records – Scale 140) 2014


As today is the first anniversary of Queen Elizabeth the second's death.....and someone asked for more from the 9 Clowns of thee Apocalypse series of fancy tribute singles by The Melvins. Appropriately enough here's todays off kilter Tribute to the very fashionable to like if you're an ex-grunger, and the UK's only Progressive Glam Hard rocking baroque'n' roll Disco metal merchants, Queen.Y'know, them wot done Bohemian Rhapsody, the song that broke them in the USA after the moron's saw it featured in that famous scene from Wayne's World.......did anyone really think this was funny?
Yeah, after Dave Grohl singled them out as the rockingest live band on the planet its OK to say that Queen were very very good. Of course your author got there long before The Grohl(and left as the moustache arrived).....like most people did.....as my first vinyl album ever bought, was indeed, "A Night At The Opera" featuring the aforementioned "Bohemian Rhapsody"; and yes, I know all the words and have done exactly the same as Wayne and his buddies did in the film. This over-familiarity with said Baroque'n'Roll (Yes I thought i'd use the same tag twice) classic ,once had its tolerance stretched when working in some council funded work units in the 80's,one of my government funded neighbours, whom happened to be a bunch of comic drawing Skatecore kids, decided to play a C-90 that had but one track repeated for the whole 90 minute duration of the tape.....you guessed it.These baseball capped worn at a jaunty angled buffoons Had this monolithic Queen offering on an infinite loop. This led to threats of violence after a very patient half an hour,and some polite requests,which were ignored.Locked in their unit, the door had to be sledgehammered open,and the offending tape ritually cremated by oxy-acetylene set to cutting mode measures. Of course these sartorial disaster area types thought this highly amusing as was their favourite Wayne's World scene. I won't tell you what happened when they made a "We Will Rock You" cassette in the case that I may incriminate myself. As for the Skate-core Kids,they had the right to remain silent or we would silence them.....they were booted out by local officials eventually...as was I!?
Perversely,as always , King Buzzo and erstwhile chums steered clear of any Freddie Mercury compositions,settling on the other one's, John Deacon's sweet "You're My Best Friend",whom ,being the only Queen member from my home town of Leicester,deserves such a deserving accolade such as this.And this version by The Melvins avoids doing the obvious sludge version,and strays not too far from the original feel of first single from the "Opera". A casiotone provides the melody and chord changes,suggesting a slight ironic tilt,with gentle vocals by someone called caleb Benjamin? Never liked the original, and I don't like this, but the second track, "Now I'm Here", was made for a Melvin's cover, it being one of Queen's most Rifftastic rockingest numbers from the pre-mega fame year of 1974.
As a kid,having seen it performed on Top Of The Pops,(an alt-mix with Bri playing a Gibson!?) i couldn't get the fucking tune out of my head.....couldn't sleep all night. So, had to get the single at the weeknd, at the local suburban electrical supplier ,opposite the Co-Op......,it was sold out!

Tracklist:

A "Best Friend"
Written-By – John Deacon
B "Now I'm Here"
Written-By – Brian May

Monday, 15 August 2022

Shit Scum – "Manson Is Jesus" (Ecocentric Records – E.R. #111) 1990



Seems like Napalm Death imports had even hit Newton, Massachusetts by 1989,and had entered the GG Allin obsessed, Seth Putnam's, delicate shell-likes, leaving a dreadful impression on this sensitive young man.
The formula was simple,replace UK Grindcore's lyrics about multinational corporations, nuclear destruction,and schoolboy politics,with about how Gays,Jews and Blacks suck,and you've got a nascent version of Anal Cunt called ,rather charmingly, "Shit Scum".
Upon hearing Napalm Death back in '87,I thought they could not be serious!?They were taking the piss surely?....turns out they weren't! 
Shit scum leave a similar taste in the mouth,and even manage to take it all down a peg or two,into the sewer.
Of course Seth's next Group would take it even lower,exposing the bedrock of awful taste below through which it is not possible,or advisable, to go........there's a challenge in there somewhere?
Young Master Putnam must have been ignored as a child,and now he's dead,ignored as a corpse.
However his vast canon of work lives beyond the grave,leaving an irremovable skidmark down the rear gusset of the human race's Y-fronts.
This 33rpm ep does, however contain the best ever cover of possibly thee worst ever pop group, Guns 'n' Roses' truly mind erasing "Sweet Child Of Mine";fittingly re-titled for our benefit,"You Fucking Cunt".
"Fag Bash" is a sludge metal classic;and i'm sure the bass-line to "Brady Bunch Massacre" is cleverly adapted from "Wrong Place Right Time" from The Fall's "I am Kurious Oranj" long player?
As for Manson being Jesus?He's got just as much  a case to make this claim as anyone. Trouble is that anyone who does is usually a blood craving nut job, a chief executive officer,or a high ranking banker.
One thing that Putnam definitely  has in common with both Chuck and Jesus (as in Jesus Allin),the other ,son of god Jesus,and Seth Putnam too;is that they were all ignored as a child. This explains a lot.
This goes out as advice to all those casual breeders out there......don't ignore your kids if you're gonna have them please;or just wear a condom! Going in bareback You could have just spawned the next Anal Cunt, or worse....a new religion!?.....or even worse than that.....a new Guns'n'Roses!!!!?
Not only can our latex friends protect us from HIV,syphilis and Monkey Pox,these magical prosthetic sheaths could have saved the world from Gun'n'Roses too.....and maybe even Charles Manson?! 
If these facts were made clear in the 1980's AIDS would have now been but a distant memory.....instead we got the only plastic ever released by Shit Scum.

Tracklist:

A1 Manson Is Jesus
A2 Brady Bunch Massacre
A3 Dog Sacrifice
A4 Shit Scum
B1 Fag Bash
B2 Beating On A Pacifist
B3 You Fucking Cunt


Monday, 8 August 2022

Full Blown A.I.D.S. – "Full Blown A.I.D.S." (Wicked Sick Records – #7)


Oh yeah, we're in a what did I do today  general scenario bollocks ain't we just? Well I had a lovely meal on the Saturday last weekend, for me girlfriend's birthday...she ate as well if you were wondering,and Champagne for afters.
Then when we got back to where the car was parked ...it wasn't there,fucking gone !?...Turned out the cops towed it away and put it in their state of the art compound miles from town....and it won't be released until the local Pigs had checked my moth-eaten dodgy paperwork;....trouble was,all the paperwork is in the car innit? Miles away,with no way of getting there before the bastards close for the weekend. Had to call a friend to drive 50 miles round trip to shuttle us from one bunch of cunts to the other cunts.Got papers, showed cops,who fined me for having "bald" tyres...so they say!? and then back to the compound to show the man my cop endorsed paperwork,signed by yours truly,and pay the fucker 200 quid for the sheer joy of it all.....and no-one noticed I was pissed drunk?!
So as a result I wanna kill somebody and laugh at people with incurable diseases. So where to go for the soundtrack of this internalized destruction.....answer....anything by Anal Cunt I thought? Or even better something by Half of Anal Cunt called "Full Blown AIDS" !
The difference between GG Allin, and Seth Putnam is that one was a funny idiot,and the other one was just an idiot. The answer to this conundrum is up to you, but ,let's just say that GG never had a band called 'Full Blown AIDS'. One of the best band names I have yet encountered.
Anyone who is actually insulted by Anal Cunt and its derivatives should just get Full Blown AIDS themselves and die in my opinion.....especially jobs-worth traffic cops....nah...they weren't so bad,especially when confronted by my post-Brexit and totally illegal and out of date British Driving Licence from the early Nineties. I just lied,said I was a tourist,can't speak the lingo guvn'r (not far correct anyways),and they couldn't get us out of there quick enough.
This Sludgecore classic was committed to a cd-r just three years before Seth's untimely death by Heart Failure.....I suppose we should laugh,as that's what Seth would have done if any of us had died in such a gay way.....'Gay' being one of Mr Putnam's favourite unwoke words by the way,I inform,so as to deflect and Savage Wokery nastiness coming in my approximate direction. Basically, I just wanna be liked, and admire anyone who genuinely just Don't give a flying Fuck about anything or anyone.......unless you're in on the joke.
One would have thought that a person with such cathartic externalised hatred would escape the predictable heart attack finale wouldn't you? May well have had something to do with Seth being such a fat bastard.You can't externalise clogged up arteries....or can you?

Tracklist:

1st EP:

1 No One Cares
2 Track Team
3 It's All Fake
4 Stupid Bitch
5 Trash Picker
6 Alcholic

Leech EP:
7 Leech
8 For Those About To Rock (We Salute You)
9 Fact Finder
10 Everything
Bonus
11 Throwing Cars At People On Coke With Thor