Burzum - "Reh" (Self-Released Demo Cassette) 1991

Ooh Errrr.....you know you're in trouble when the seriously mentally ill bass player from Mayhem starts photocopying Aleister Crowley´s Astrum Argentum order sigil and uses it as a cover for his Demo.The one he sent to Euronymous,the Top chump in Mayhem, in '91.

Somehow Euronymous like it a lot and offered Jew hating Varg (Burzum)the recently vacated position of Bass Player in Mayhem.Yes the band that bust a blood vessel trying too hard to be the most infamous,most darkest, most fucked up Black Metal band in the whole of Christendom......well,..er...in Norway,at least.

If you've come here for some full blast raw Black Metal you may be disappointed? Recorded on a single mike placed in the centre of the room,this can only be described as......well,Crap?

Three tracks of slow Black Metal it says on the insert. Slow it maybe,Black-ish it ain't,Metal,certainly NOT, but it does have a meandering but muffled foggy charm that reminds one of the good ol' days of Fuck Off Records

Euronymous saw the potential anyway? 

The first ambient Black Metal band anyone?

Its a pity that the dearly departed leader of Mayhem couldn't have also spotted that Varg of Burzum, was a complete nut-job fruit loop sociopath who would kill him a few short years,plus a few immolated Norwegian churches later.

Its all just a bit of fun kids,don't take it all so effing seriously...especially Black Metal for fucks sake!? Sometimes its more subversive to sell out,and fade away?

Tracklist:

1. Lost Wisdom

2. Spell Of Destruction

3. Channeling The Powers Of Souls Into A New God

DOWNLOAD then fade away HERE!

Mütiilation – "Black Imperial Blood (Travel)" (Self-released cassette) 1994

Aha!....it's that French shit-Fi Death Metal band whose singer/guitarist (Meyhna'ch - suspiciously NOT his real name), declared himself Dead so he could escape the spectre of looming success and eventually form a new band from the cremated ashes of the old line-up;which was mostly a Duo,if not a solo project,so to lose your guitarist,singer and songwriter in one go is is existential to say the least 

So it turns out Meyhna'ch,(real name Willy Rousell), resurrected himself and the band to release a few reasonably popular albums in the 1990's,sometimes employing a drum machine,always in the lowest-possible 'Fi',and sometimes just very,very  solo.....if you saw a picture of him you'd understand why.

A rare Photo of 'Willy' when he was dead

In December 2009 however, Meyhna'ch decided to quit Mütiilation for good. Mütiilation being the longest lasting band of the legendary  Black Legions. The Black Legions or,Les Légions Noires in French, or simply abbreviated 'LLN', were an exclusive group of French satanic black metal musicians with members similar to the extremely naughty Norwegian "Inner Circle", who released only very limited runs of their fucked up-Fi muzick.

The killy one,Varg from Mayhem, now lives on a farm in France I believe, after he served 15 years his life sentence in one of those 5-star hotels they call Prisons in Norway (they even had a recording studio for the inmates,this is how Varg carried on releasing albums while inside....a bit like Bobby Beausoleil of the Manson Family......but don't forget that Anders Breivic gets out in 10 years.They have to change the constitution to keep him in prison beyond his 20 year sentence.....he got less than Vaarg from Mayhem,as Vaarg had burned down several churches as well as killing his Bands front man.....I think some people take their art far too literally.

For the full Story check out the Lords Of Chaos rockudrama....not exactly accurate,but entertaining,and one of the better Rock Movies.

In 2024 the band (Mütiilation) was reformed and is active again.

Well at least one of the members seem to have eternal life?

Maybe he's a Vampire,drinking his audience's black blood,which is illegal i am told,even in Norway. So are Pedophiles,which is why Donald Trump didn't get his peace prize.....maybe I can think of a new job for Varg if he can get into the USA? He could pretend to be a Football fan and strangle the fucker with his Fifa Peace Medal?

Tracklist:

A1 Magical Shadows Of A Tragic Past
A2 Skoger Av Onde Drom
A3 Under Ardailles Night
A4 Eternal Empire Of Majesty Death
A5 Black Imperial Blood (Travel)
My Travels To Sadness, Hate & Depression
A6-a Vampire's Nights
A6-b To My Hell

DOWNLOAD the bloody thing HERE!

Mayhem – "Pure Fucking Armageddon" (Funny Farm inc) 1986

These Notorious Norwegian metallers were very naughty boys indeed. One could accuse them of taking it all rather too seriously, perhaps even taking it all a tad too far maybe? They nicked their name from Motorhead-a-likes and supposed Black Metal band numero uno,the UK's very own, Venom.So that kinda categorises them I guess?

Some call this Back Metal,or even Death Metal? I dunno,but because they dress like Metal kids with make-up on,does that make this metal? Its got some riffage going on,and hints of growly vocals,singing about ghosties,violence,and pure fucking armageddon.....stuff like that. So I suppose the pure derivative silliness of it all qualifies them as 'Metal'.It just sounds like a bunch of mad noise to me,like an avant-garde interpretation of Metal whith large chunks edited out,the opposite end of Sun(((((0. Basically I dunno what I'm talking about,but I like it...(sing).."Mamaaaa, it's only Black Metal but I like it,I Like It Yes I doooo".

Of course the back story to this band is that some of them actually wanted to back up the rhetoric with actions.So if one of the mis-led young fools said I'm gonna actually live out the the Rock'n'Roll endgame of comitting suicide on stage I'm actually gonna do it.

It all started to go wrong with the addition of new vocalist and grade 'A' nutjob, Per Yngve Ohlin,aka "Dead",who had a nasty habit of cutting himself with hunting knives and broken glass on stage.A cry for help perhaps?

The obviously mentalist Dead,did infact end his own life by slashing his wrists and sucking on a shotgun,but he didn't do it onstage,the sell-out! Here's a short extract from his suicide note:

"Excuse all the blood.Nobody will ever understand this, but as a sort of explanation, I am not human, this is only a dream and soon I will awake".......whoops!....Were still waiting for him to wake up thirty years later.

Then the story gets dafter with  the fatal stabbing of founder member,guitarist Aarseth (Euronymous) by Bassist Varg Vikernes,who was only in the band for a year,but seemed determined to make a bigger splash in the Mayhem legends swimming pool.Varg was also responsible for a string of church arsons for which he was convicted in court.Along with the small matter of first degree murder,the punishment for which was to spend a lenient 21 years or so in the unbridled opulence of those famous Norwegian Prison Cells/luxury flats(although he only served 16 granted parole in 2009!?).Surprisingly,and very un-Norwegian he also had to leave the band,which was then reduced to a duo, temporarily,due to murder,suicide and imprisonment.Incredibly replacements for the vacant positions were not hard to find,not that I would recommend anyone should volunteer for such a poisoned chalice i may add.And they are still churning out the filth today;although they've given up murdering each other,toying with Nazi politics and messing about with shotguns.At least for the present.

Now out of prison for the last decade or so, Varge has not rejoined the band surprisingly,even though he still made solo albums in his prison cell,and now a free man,is still plying his trade as a metal musician in,of all places, France (Shit! I live there!?)....although he may,as a convicted Murderer, Arsonist, and neo-Nazi find it difficult to get a visa to visit any of the many non-EU nations who have a Metal audience interested in this shit.

Yes, its all very fucking silly, but early Mayhem were in fact rather good.Making unlistenable soulless metallic noise that would undoubtedly put the shits up any passing Christian or,even better, Muslim.....so anything that can do that is fine by me.

Suicide, Murder,Arson,stabbings,slashings,atheism,ultra right wing paganism,high speed noise,and all in glorious,atrocious,deafness inducing shit-fi too.What more could anyone possibly want from a pop group? 

Tracklist:

Side Fuck (Studio Quality)
A1 Voice Of A Tortured Skull 2:22
A2 Carnage 4:14
A3 Ghoul 3:31
A4 Black Metal (Total Death Version)2:06
A5 Pure Fucking Armageddon 2:50

Side Off (Unmixed)
B1 Mayhem 1:46
B2 Ghoul 3:43
B3 Pure Fucking Armageddon 2:43
B4 Carnage 4:32

DOWNLOAD the mayhem of mayhem HERE!