Boards Of Canada – "Old Tunes Vol. 2" (Music70 – CANCAS003) 1996

Wow!? this Duo must have invented everything chill room infesting and bedroom festering one could care to imagine, it says 1985 to '96 here!? Not that it sounds like it was recorded on one of those cassette four track portastudios which I assume they must have used, with a noise reduction system that can only have been left behind by fleeing Aliens.

Just listening to this stuff makes me smug enough to lie about how many O-Levels i got in 1983,or is that a Dostoevsky in your pocket or do you like Intelligent Dance Music?

What these Scottish chum bums were doing making music like this in the mid-eighties has ones middle finger resting firmly on the 'dubious' button and another finger up each others arses.

As Pre-post-Club as this may seem, fill in the blank space,(_______).It is this partially inflated,dryly punchline shy, self-indulgent and occasionally clever-clever, attempt to be the Pet shop boys without any Pet Shop boys, does massage ones own 'I was there first' Dorsal vein enough to claim to have been listening to 'Intelligent Dance Music' before Aphex Twin was even born.

I used to say these things about The Fall,but have now cut it down to just preferring the 'Early Stuff'? Which is no doubt what Autechre fans say about Boards Of Canada.

Track List:

A1		We've Started Up	5:39
A2		Jimbo Rehearsing	0:35
A3		Staircase Whip	2:14
A4		Statue Of Liberty	1:52
A5		Dave (I'm A Real Traditionalist)	1:50
A6		Peace/Tony/Devil	0:18
A7		To The Wind	2:30
A8		Iraq Says	0:38
A9		Nine-Rubber Wisdom	1:20
A10		On A Rolling Sea	1:34
A11		Iced Cooly Beatnik	0:36
A12		David Came To Mahana'im	4:39
A13		Sir Prancelot Brainfire	2:51
A14		North Sea Arbeit	1:12
A15		Mushyz	0:35
A16		Heysanna Hosanna	0:59
A17		Fly In The Pool	0:51
A18		Mukinabaht	5:05
A19		It's A Whole 'Nother Year	2:00
B1		Kiteracer 2	2:29
B2		BMX Track	5:05
B3		Hiscores	3:38
B4		Geometric Piss	0:51
B5		Zander Two	3:59
B6		Magic Teens	3:00
B7		Apparatus	0:33
B8		Music For Pylons	1:12
B9		Alpha Rainbow	1:12
B10		Northern Plastics	1:55
B11		Buckie High	5:16
B12		I Love My New Shears	3:11
B13		Solarium	0:22
B14		Breaking Nehushtan	2:41
B15		Orange Hexagon Sun	2:22
B16		Lick	2:39
B17		Powerline Misfortune	1:15

DOWNLOAD bored in scotland HERE!

Boards Of Canada – "A Few Old Tunes" (Music70) 1996

 

Hands Up anyone who thought Boards of Canada were from Canada?

Ah......only me it seems!?

Two smart-arsed Scottish brothers....no not Black Scottish, they were actually proper brothers,as in genetically brothers from the same mother.

Well that's as Funky as it gets i'm afraid, as we are gently lulled to sleep by a myriad of rejected downtempo leftfield LP fillers recorded from 1991 to 1995. If you made it through this without going into a coma, then I shall hold back on the Bored of Canada quips.

Nah, i'm just being rude, its the perfect background accompaniment for a bored game such as Dungeons and Dragons,which boasts a twenty sided dice,while side two has a two sided cassette of fifteen tracks a side.

And like D&D, it is played and listened to by home dwelling geeks nerds and further education technophiles, who have an undiagnosed need to be thought of as Intelligent.Hence this disdainful post club glitch-fest and its even more Disdainful genre, laughably monikered IDM, or, Intelligent Dance Music......not that Geeks and Nerds, or anybody, actually Dances to this awkward Electronica,by Bored of Scotland.

The stoopider sections of society can in fact dance to anything,aided by the stoopid person's super-power.....a total lack of self-awareness, or get off yer Tits on drugs.

However, good to see those Aphex-a-like kids still embracing the freedom of DIY to put out yer own material on cassette,and photocoping up a hand scribbled insert,without the need of no record company man.

Tracklist:

A1		Spectrum	2:19
A2		Light, Clear Hair	0:41
A3		P.C.	0:48
A4		Trapped	3:52
A5		Rodox Video	1:19
A6		Happy Cycling	1:49
A7		House Of Abin'adab	1:55
A8		Finity	5:00
A9		Forest Moon	6:35
A10		Skimming Stones	2:12
A11		Carcan	1:50
A12		Devil	0:14
A13		Mansel	5:36
A14		She Is P	1:42
A15		Davie Addison	1:15
B1		Sac	1:23
B2		Blockbusters	0:40
B3		I Will Get It Tattooed	1:37
B4		The Way You Show	2:56
B5		I Love U	1:41
B6		King Of Carnival	4:18
B7		M9	3:32
B8		Original Nlogax	1:11
B9		Sequoia	4:49
B10		Boqurant	1:43
B11		5.9.78	4:14
B12		Wendy Miller	0:32
B13		Paul Russell's Piece	0:53
B14		Up The March Bank	3:24
B15		Nova Scotia Robots	1:47

DOWNLOAD almost intelligently HERE!

The Grey Wolves – "Catholic Priests Fuck Children" (Open Wound CD-r) (1996)

 

Oooooh Controversial!I do like a bad taste album title I do. Anything from the Never Mind The Bollox school of potential litigation,such as Flux Of Pink Indians' "The Fucking Cunts Treat Us Like Pricks" and the whole general area of being offensive for the sake of it and stuff.

Yeah Catholic Priests fuck kids, but they do get the rough end of the stick in shouldering the majority of the blame,Basically anyone,mostly male, in a position of responsibility involving children should be under surveillance 24-7.....or maybe 24-6,it is the Holy Day after all,give the kids and the priests the day off from all that unadulterated shagging. No sucking cocks on a Sunday said Moses as he descended the mountain hiding an erection.We'll leave that for the Jews and Muslims on Saturday.But of course, for us Secularists, Saturday is a traditional Holy day also, as its the pre-Sky TV window of opportunity to attend the Football match,sandwiched between visits to the Public House. Then cometh the middle to upper classes demographic who stole the working man's only means to entertain themselves before the Rock'n'Roll years popped up, leaving the Peasants with nothing else to do but a bit of saturday sodomy with the kids. Football has a lot to answer for,especially in failing to point out the many cases of sexual abuse perpetrated by football caches that have surfaced over the years.

So, nah all Priests ain't pedophiles,just most of them.

Breath deeply and relax to the mellow fuzzy Industrial Ambient noise and questionable politics of the Grey Wolves and feel grateful that you were never born into a Catholic household,and as a result of this good fortune were never fucked up,or Fucked up the Arse!....although knowing you lot,this is likely an attractive proposition.

Tracklist:

1 New Luddites 5:44
2 Beyond Hypocrisy 5:36
3 Turning The Tide 4:30
4 Breach Of Faith 5:17
5 Nothing Sacred 4:23
6 Skin Tight Orbit 4:00
7 State Of Siege 5:54
8 Deconstruction 5:17

DOWNLOAD bloggers don't fuck anybody HERE!

Ascension ‎– 'Broadcast' (Shock ‎– SX030CD) 1996

Two more catchy foot-tappers from Tony and Stefan.

I can see a day when there will be a dance craze based around this kind of music,all socially distanced of course,but by then the remanants of the Human experiment will have become used to new virus's and immune to 99.9% of them. All the useless appendages of the unhealthy, fat, and decrepit have been cleansed from the planet;which also included the ill-educated;mainly because there is now (I speak in the future present tense,rather like Footballers speak in the past/present tense)....there is now enough space to actually learn something that expands the mind rather than shit to get you a shit job. The labour force is fully automated, with strict controls on Artificial Intelligence,profits are shared amongst the citizens so the slimmed down populous of the world can indulge themselves in more pleasural persuits....something Nietzche was very keen on I gather? Embrace the Virus as our next stage in evolution.Granny,Grandad and Fatboy died so you could enjoy it.

Now get down that Free Music Disco and dance to an evening of Ascension, AMM, Harry Pussy,Derek Bailey, Fushitsusha,Nihilist Spasm Band and lashings of Coltrance,Shepp,Coleman,and Sanders and many many more....not available in shops.....especially as there won't be any.Also you won't have money to spend in them even if there were shops.It's all gonna be FREEEEEEEEEE....just like Die or DIY? is.

DOWNLOAD and broadcast the good news HERE!