Halloween Horrors 11 - CURTAINS for you, Blu!

Well, here comes another link to EXPLOITATION RETROSPECT to continue my Halloween Horrors, which tags along nicely with 31 DAYS OF FRIGHT!!  I take on the new Blu Ray of CURTAINS... a film that has a really great 20 minutes!

Check it out by clicking HERE! 

Halloween Horrors 9-10 SECOND SEQUEL SPLATTER with Hatchet 3 and Cabin Fever: Patient Zero

I do so enjoy DTV sequels, and both CABIN FEVER 3: PATIENT ZERO (which sounds like a scoreboard fittingly enough) and HATCHET III are currently streaming on Netflix, so it was DOUBLE SEQUEL PROBATION horror time!

First up was Cabin Fever 3, I have to say that the original did not do much for me on it's release, but it's been a while. I totally missed 2 (not streaming...drat) and figured how much could I miss? Well, not much.  This film has a somewhat moral compass reduced doctor trying to solve the mystery viruses cure out by experimenting on victims. Luckily, he found someone that is immune! Lucky for his studies, bad for Patient Zero (played by Sean Astin in a great manic performance).  But Zero ain't taking this lying down, and finds his way to spread the infection through the SECRET ISLAND INSTALLATION.  Well, toss in some revelers that have interpersonal issues, great bodies and less than stellar oral hygiene habits and combine, shake, stir...MELT THEM DOWN!! 
There are several subplots here, as it bounces between the doctor and staff trying to survive and the expected knuckleheads that stumble on the base and suffer the consequences, and it's fast paced enough to really work well.  If you want GROSS body horror, you'll be well served between cunnilingus carnage and one of the all time most amusing contaminated women battling by literally tearing each other apart that I can recall.  Totally worth the time just for that.
Visually it's engaging even when it falls into the "OH NO I MUST RUN DOWN THE HALL" scenes, and comics writer/artist Kaare Andrews definitely doesn't shy away from the gore.  You'll be ready to join our infected pal right here for sure...  And CF3P0 (Which is my "dirty Star Wars" slang title) is a good streaming flick for gore fans!

 Hatchet was a film I really enjoyed, but the sequel was fun and pretty much forgettable for me, so I didn't bother to hunt down 3 until it popped up in my Netflix suggestions.  It doesn't get easier than that and WHAM, the first 7 minutes of the movie are just excellent.  Hatchet fans know the evil Victor Crowley is back again, and it's Kane Hodder doing his best imposing Jason shoulder lift and hard Triple H Exhale splattering suckas all over the screen. I don't want to spoil it, but GIANT CHAINSAW for the ultimate in "splitting headache" gets things rolling.

But here is where it gets interesting. Hatchet 3 plays like a GWAR video more than a horror movie, and while I do love Gwar I had to chuckle that Gor Gor didn't just pop up and eat Crowley at some point. And yep, GWAR does the theme song!  Lots of stumps and torn open parts spraying blood replace anything resembling plot, though we do get a nifty idea for stopping Crowley that I thought was very cool.  A mish mash of cameos and appearances by Sid Haig and the always excellent Caroline Williams (STRETCH!) as well as Danielle Harris returning.  But things hop all over in the short running time and everyone feels like a cameo next to the massive carnage.  As an almost non-stop shock show, you get exactly what you could want from the movie, but I'll be damned if I can remember anything in particular about the movie outside of a bunch of groovy gore scenes. That is not a bad thing by any stretch, as streaming DTV goes, it's almost perfect really.  Maybe if I watch all the films together and this could be the giant third act that it really is, then all is good.  I will say this. Jason fans will get a big kick out of seeing Hodder in make up taking on Jason (Reboot) mega cool dude, Derek Mears.  Screw it...worth the watch for those bits. It's not long, it's gory...and it's part of your streaming package. Why not?

Halloween Horrors 8 - SCREAM PARK

I'm sending you over to my review of the recent slasher film, SCREAM PARK, which is now up on the EXPLOITATION RETRO blog.  I'll be adding several HH entries over the month I hope, and while you are there, be sure to click around for more excellent material.

Since the piece is text only, here are some SCREAM PARK IMAGES for your delight!

Doug Bradley has a great, although short, appearance and strikes a familiar pose!

 

You know, when you put a gun on the table in a play, it must be fired. When you put this top in a slasher....

 Bingo! 

 Nivek Ogre of SKINNY PUPPY and REPO: THE GENETIC OPERA plays the plague mask clad killer...  And check out his "dented tin can" buddy! 

Halloween Horrors - 7 SILENT SCREAM

 I'm so glad that the TV spot for SILENT SCREAM is included on the outstanding DVD presentation from Scorpion Releasing (#1001 by the spine no less).  When it played theatrically I would have been 12 years old and I remember that spot VERY well.  Combo that with the fact that clips from the film were shown on the Siskel & Ebert "Women In Danger" episode of Sneak Previews and it became I film I just had to see. Alas, it never happened.  Maybe I missed the week it played at the General Cinema it was so easy to sneak in to.  And then...poof, I sort of forgot about it.  Would I have appreciated that the film featured Barbara Steele in an exceptional performance as a scary mute maniac?  Or Yvonne De Carlo as the crazy mom?  The slow burn tension that may just be a LITTLE to slow for 12 year old me?  Hmm... I don't know.  But anyone that does know me is probably aware that my tastes haven't mutated all that much since 1980!  As October 2014 rolled around I finally bumped into a very inexpensive used copy of SILENT SCREAM, so now I can investigate it like Cameron Mitchell on a short pick up shoot!! 

Now this one is pretty simple, a group of college students find themselves unable to get housing and scramble around to find a place to stay.  Unfortunately for several of them, including out pretty and plucky heroine, the house they have picked to live in doesn't JUST have a weird-O young man and his mother creeping around and crossing spooky with deranged!  After much walking, wandering, chatting and even a little partying, a killer that has managed to escape a locked room in the house, begins ending their lives with a weapon.  What kind of weapon? A knife. What kind of knife? To quote Avery Schreiber (!!)... "a big one."

 Silent Scream has a really interesting history, which is covered in depth in the interviews on the disc, and a great cast that not only includes Steele, De Carlo, Mitchell and Schreiber, but a really excellent performance from Rebecca Balding (also in the underrated THE BOOGENS) and even has a nice twist to explain all the family drama that leads to the films climactic, and eerily staged at the start, rampage.  But for me, the film never gets rambunctious enough to be more than an occasionally eerie game of Clue with very few suspects.  I would have a hard time recommending it as a must see film, but if you are a Barbara Steele fan that hasn't caught it, I would say to do so right away. She is every inch the iconic beauty as always, and plays her part to the hilt of the very very big knife!  And here is where I know that I would have parted ways today with 12 year old self that missed this film.  My favorite scene in the film isn't a joyride of horror or mounting tension or anything like that. It's a small moment that Rebecca Blanding pulls off that is the thing I'll always remember. After finally succumbing to the charms of the most handsome lad in the house, she lays back as he is about to give her a not so silently screaming orgasm, but suddenly realizes that she is protecting a beer that she is drinking. With a smile she asks..."what should I do with my beer."  Never once does her passion over ride her good sense to protect her drink.  SEXY!!!  Another Halloween Horror in the books, it was a DOG OF THE WEEK for Siskel and Ebert, but I wouldn't be so unkind. What I saw was an OK bit of PSYCHOdrama that, thanks to Scorpion Releasing, has it's story fully told.  A lot of work went into it being salvaged, reshot and released.  And that story is as fun as the film!

Oh man...watching this is making 12 year old me FREAK OUT!!!

Halloween Horrors 5-6 The RAW FORCE of HARD TO DIE

A Saturday night in October demands a double feature, and why not go for some more ACTION oriented horror to keep things lively?  First up was the newly released RAW FORCE BluRay from Vinegar Syndrome!  Now, I absolutely LOVE this film, and if you haven't seen it, you must. If you have, get ready for an amazing presentation of this insane film!

RAW FORCE is the kind of film you think you are dreaming of seeing WHILE you are watching it.  After a dude that looks like Hitler sells some women to a bunch of monks (VIC DIAZ!!!) on an island of disgraced martial artists for food and fodder for ritual sacrifice to kung fu demonites, a pleasure cruise goes awry as they are hijacked for their women by the same bunch of baddies.  But thankfully their are KUNG FU ENABLED PASSENGERS ready to kick some ass, battle full contact zombies and bring it to the weird monks of DOOOOOOM. 

Simple, right? Well, it's the way that RAW FORCE gets to the finish line that will make you sit in pure exploitation cinema AWE of it's most heavenly glory!  From the start it's just strangeness galore as EVERY bit of trash cinema gets riffed on.  While the zombies and monks and general kung fu smack and crack is great, and there is a super sized side of beautiful racks (wow...wait, that is CAMILLE KEATON??) -- I learned something interesting this time around.  It's the zany party sequences that make up the second act of the film that I just love.  Lots of film bring the fighty fight, but the mix of comedy and just plain cheapO sets and crackingly funny dialog make RAW FORCE shine.  How can you not love Cameron Mitchell as he grumps his way through the film?  Sure, Hitler guy runs around with a rocket launcher, but compared to Jillian Kesner (FIRECRACKER!!!) surprising everyone with her deadly kung fu skill, it's just another day in RAW FORCEVILLE. Look I can beat, flog and dump Hai Karate all over this film for you, but why? YOU NEED IT IN YOUR LIFE.  About half way through I realized I had been smiling the entire time it was on.  NUFF SAID.  And this...

                                Oh, and CAMILLE KEATON???  How did I never know this?

But the double feature can't stop.  The BluRay looks astonishing and contains an interview with finishing editor (audio only) Jim Wynorski.  I've got a phrase that applies to all things cinematic. ENTERTAINMENT, THY NAME IS WYNORSKI!  So, inspired by the RAWNESS of the FORCE I went to a film I've watched quite a few times, and was ready to dig into once more.  The ultimate in HOT LADIES IN LINGERIE BATTLE THE UNDEAD EVIL THAT ESCAPED A SORORITY HOUSE MASSACRE (2) AND A HEROIC AND UNDER APPRECIATED JANITOR SHALL SAVE THEM ALL films. 
THIS. IS.
HARD TO DIE!!!!!!

 

HARD TO DIE is a very weird remix / remaster / sequel / spin off / bottomless shower sequence tribute to SORORITY HOUSE MASSACRE 2.  The evil of SHM2's HOCKSTETTER is mistakenly delivered to ACME LINGERIE, where 5 beautiful ladies are ready to take inventory...and showers...and try on the wares.  They could NEVER have expected to battle evil, never mind evil that was intended to go to FORRY ACKERMAN! 

Luckily, the janitor working in the building is... ORVILLE KETCHUM!  The gals recount SHM2 and how Orville may have conquered evil OR been a creepy killer.  Well, they definitely are a looks over heart group that pummel, pound and punish old Orville as they think he is murdering the girls as they start going missing.  NOT KIND!!!

 Who will survive? Who will use the shower next?  Will you expect that love can conquer all?  You HAVE to see it to believe it.  I'm kicking myself that I didn't do a Orville Double Feature, but when you need HARD TO KILL, nothing else will do.  

 HARD TO DIE is one of the breeziest and most fun sub 80 minute exploitation flicks I can think of, and I've got a pretty large amount of them under my belt.  This one takes the target audience (urr..all of you that are still reading) along for the ride with a wink and nod that never feels like it wants to be ironic, but knows that we are all in together for lingerie and machine guns and horror and showers.  Heck, you even get this guy... THE DIRECTOR does not like DIRTY FEET!!!

THIS is a Saturday night in October. Horror and action and a bottle of PUMKING to go with it.  I love Halloween Horrors!!

Halloween Horrors 4 - HOLY TERROR (Hellinger In A Habit)

I've been rampaging though the horrors, and had a fun hour recording a podcast that covered 3 films by Massimiliano Cerchi with the inestimable twitching brain behind EXPLOITATION RETROSPECT, Dan Taylor. 
So, I need to stay on top of this--so I'm going to blog up HOLY TERROR!!

I went to Catholic schools and had nuns. NONE ever shocked me with light thankfully, though I still fondly remember Sister Mary Beatyerass giving me the business. But this nun takes the cake as she terrorizes Kane, the sunglass rocking realtor / guy in an infernal pact that must sacrifice unbelievers.  His job is to feed the nun souls, but he doesn't like religious folk, greeting a priest that is on his property to bless it by shouting, "WHAT IN THE GODDAMMED HELL???"  I've known many priests, most would not appreciate this kind of talk.  But hey, this magnet of mayhem ain't a good guy, but Kane gets all the ladies.  You'll see. Anyway, he finds his tenants, the sexytime couple that feel like escapes from a Joe Sarno film that hop a Tardis to a 2002 film that feels like it was shot in 1990 and it's on. THE TRAP IS SPRUNG!

It doesn't take long until both David and Julie are having cowgirl sex that seems totally impossibly slow and languid (thankfully, Beverly Lynne of TOMB OF THE WEREWOLF and the TANYA X series is easy on the eyes!)...but first David thinks he is sleeping with... THE NUN!  Of course, Julie finds this funny!

But laugh, unbeliever, LAUGH NOW.  The nun is coming for you. In the desert. With these guys!!!!

And then there is one of my favorite scenes.  Because when she finally lurches to consciousness after her own dream of sparsely shot terror begins to fade, our beautiful heroine (is she a heroine...I don't know) awakes clutching her own throat like a WAVE video fantasy!  And undresses.  SEE!

And we haven't even hit the horror scenes!!!
So, the couple have some friends over and it's time for drunken passes between pals, arguments over who is hottest, an epic micro disco dance that includes air ass slapping!

There is champagne in those coffee cups by the way.  ANYWHO, I'd be doing a disservice if I spoiled more of this particular film, because THE NUN arrives and death follows on her heels.  Because this:

Despite David's pleas for everyone to go skinny dipping, they play Witchboard instead (Nunboard?) and hell walks in. As does Kane. And the ladies want a piece of the randy realtor.  Well, he isn't randy...but after all the slaughter occurs, Kane is about to clue us in and THEN...everything stops. Movie over.

HOLY TERROR was released in 2002, but interestingly feels like a step back from Hellinger's zany heights (and that is a MUST SEE by the way)--it's not very stylized, but enjoyable enough at the sub 1 hour running time. Everyone is attractive (well...the dude in the black Manties who also appears in CARNAGE ROAD: THE LEGEND OF QUILTFACE really needed a change in wardrobe), there is a monster and the score will have you pumping your feet in double bass mayhem. 

As a co-feature to Hellinger on the newly released DOUBLE FEATURE FROM HELL, you can definitely check in on this nun--because YOU CAN'T RUN FROM THE LIGHT (as Hellinger might say)..because it's a shock to the nuts if you try!

Halloween Horrors 1-3 BOOGEYMAN trilogy!

It's October again, and it's time for another HALLOWEEN HORRORS!!!  I love this month, because each and every year I take time to slow down my slide into cinesludge and get back to the genre that started it all for this cinemanic soul.  From lying flat on a staircase to peek over my parents shoulders at Howard Hawks' THE THING FROM ANOTHER WORLD when I was 5 to today, the fun never stops.  So...in we go. 

First up, a TRIPLE SHOT of millenial horror.  I've wanted to see the Ghost House Pictures PG-13 film, BOOGEYMAN since it was released. But that was..wait a minute...9 years ago???  There were several DTV sequels and I live for that kind of stuff. So, when a triple DVD set appeared in a budget bin for half off the 4.99 asking price, it was hard to look away. 

BOOGEYMAN was a theatrical presentation and it looks it.  High gloss visuals with lots of camera swinging and flinging can't disguise that there is absolutely nothing surprising going on. A young boy sees his father killed by The Boogeyman (in a pretty effective opening sequence) and later, after much therapy, decides to return to his home to confront his fears. Thankfully he also gets to bring his less than super understanding girlfriend AND meet up with an old friend who obviously has feelings for him. Romantic subplot? Check and checked off...not much there to really enjoy.  But wait..a ghost kid appears too?  OK...tropey trope trope'n up the path.  But wait, the Boogeyman IS real and he is back and ready to rampage all over the guy and his girls.  Yep..that is about it.

 BOOGEYMAN is not a bad little 90 minutes and it's got a good cast featuring BONES actress Emily Deschanel reacting to some offscreen shenanigans every few minutes.  It was fun to see Lucy Lawless pop up early on as well.
What struck me was just how similar it was to the Nightmare On Elm Street films, and how good even the least of the Freddy films really is for keeping the pace moving.  Under 90 minutes, it still lags a bit.  Once things pick up and we get some warping through reality stuff and actual attacks by a CGI (mostly) Boogeyman it's fine, but the monster has no personality and the intensity level stays low.  However, I must say that I really enjoyed ONE scene that had actress Troy Mussett reappear from what we assumed would be certain off screen doom as she is REGURGITATED by a bathtub.  THAT was unexpected.  So, it's a good 90 seconds and a bunch of bland.  Here...this.

It was with heavy thumbs that I began to THWAP at the remote to start BOOGEYMAN 2, but in tried and true DTV warrior fashion, I summoned the courage of David Warbeck attempting to win the Vietnam War in THE LAST HUNTER and pounded PLAY with vigor. Hey, it's an UNRATED DTV movie with a completely different creative team.  And you know what, THIS one is pretty damn good.  It plays around with the idea that you have seen the first film and have to acknowledge that BOOGEYMAN exists, but then gets a little funky and takes a left turn or 5, so that it doesn't just end up where it starts.

Henry and Laura Porter share a trauma, shown up front, as their parents were murdered in their homes when they were young.  It MAY have been the Boogeyman, but it doesn't appear that it was more than a home invasion. After Henry leaves a treatment facility, it becomes obvious that Laura needs help with Boogeyphobia as well. Yes, they actually say that.  So, swapping places, Laura checks in and finds out Tobin Bell is her therapist.  Wow. I'd leave, but OK...she stays.  As the original film had elements of Freddy-tude, I was pretty intrigued that this film seems to go right down the DREAM WARRIORS aisle to pick up some groceries.  Cutters, agoraphobics, overly romantic self loathers and Boogeyphobes collide as suddenly, the doors lock down and something is killing the patients (and doctors...and nurses...) 

I actually don't want to spoil much, because if you are going to watch ANY of these, I would highly recommend it being this one.  It's VERY gory (it even grossed me out a touch in spots) and veers all over the map between traditional Boogeyman is gonna get you stuff with elements of a SCREAM / SAW variety sprinkled on top.  Director Jeff Betancourt is an editor and it shows here, lots of fast paced scenes keep the pace fast and furious and everyone plays their part well. The inclusion of real physical effects instead of non stop CGI is very welcome.  Unlike either the first or third, you'll definitely get your moneys worth out of this entry.  It stands completely apart of the theatrical feature, so...here you have it.  Besides, fans of going "OUCH" with their gore will want to see what THIS THING does!  YOWZA. 

Also of interest, Bettancourt is editing the remake of Poltergeist and has a short film, starring Danielle Savre of BOOGEYMAN 2, entitled KNOCK KNOCK which has a release date of TODAY according to IMDB.  I'm in!  And if for no other reason, this whole rigged up effect is worth a gorehounds time...

So, I was PUMPED now, BOOGEYMAN 3..what do you have for me?  Well, interestingly it is tied to B2 in that Tobin Bell's characters DAUGHTER apparently finds some notes by her father about a real Boogeyman (uh...OK...they do mention that in the other film a little bit).  Bell even reads a few lines, though I thought it was someone impersonating him.  This time we have a college campus where the girls tend to wear pajama pants and low cut t-shirts all the time and the lads all look the same.  Seems a REAL boogeyman is back right from the get go, and our lead DJ, Sarah, can see him.  But nobody believes her. Even her professor has an issue with this, at one point refusing to believe that The Boogeyman can exist because it can't change it's own legend as it goes along (??) --but we know it does. At one point, Boogeyman appears in a bong. And then chases down a peeper putting a webcam in a ladies shower room (thank you, nudity quotient requirement).  Some of this might have sounded nice on paper, but it's either too silly and handled to straight forward with the editing and score OR it's just to serious for it's own good.  The effects are toned way down from 2, though I have to admit I did enjoy seeing things like industrial dryers put to bad use.  Definitely stuffing a person in and having them explode in a shower of blood will void the warranty. 

Charles Band definitely wants his EVIL BONG back by the way.  
While not terrible, this one is all kind of pointless in the end. It seems to want to jump on the J-Horror trend mixed with Nightmare On Elm Street (hey, the trailer for THE GRUDGE 3 is on here!) but nothing comes together to have any tension.  I did like the scripts attempt to find a way to defeat The Boogeyman, but the 5th left turn and double finale sort of deflates the entire thing!  Ah well... 

I got one very entertaining film and two happy horrors from the others..it's OCTOBER and it's time to watch more.  Nothing can be bad when you have the horror momentum behind you!