Supporting LGBT people with dementia

Almost a year ago (September 2017) saw the launch of the Dementia Action Alliance’s (DAA) ‘From Seldom Heard to Seen and Heard’ Campaign. The campaign focuses on people living with dementia and their families from six communities who are often marginalised from services and support: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender + (LGBT), Black, Asian and Minority Ethnic (BAME), Young onset dementia, The prison population, People living in rural communities and People with learning disabilities.

I’m a national member of the DAA, and proud to have worked with the team in developing this campaign, mostly by utilizing my extensive knowledge and experience of working with people who have a learning disability and dementia. I wrote about BAME communities in my October 2017 blog, my March 2018 blog was all about rural communities, and last month I told Kathy’s story, about living with a learning disability and dementia.

For this post, I want to think about the challenges for people with dementia who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender (LGBT+). Of the six groups the DAA campaign focuses on, LGBT people with dementia are the most hidden of all in my opinion and arguably the most stigmatised, coping with societal attitudes towards their age, sexuality and dementia at the same time.

Many older lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender people have led a life that's been all about hiding away, characterised by fear and intimidation. Historically as a nation we haven’t been welcoming to LGBT people with layer upon layer of discrimination and ostracisation, not to mention violence and criminalisation. Indeed, homosexuality was illegal in the UK until 1967 and was classified as a mental illness until 1973. 

Since then, the immense changes that have happened legally and societally will have brought a huge amount of relief and joy for many LGBT people, but it's important that my generation - who see PRIDE marches and same-sex couples marrying - don't forget the struggles that remain vivid in the minds of some LGBT people who are now ageing. Examples like this, of a care provider celebrating with their own PRIDE event are still few and far between. No aged-care client that I work with has done anything like this to my knowledge, and I know from quizzing learners at my training sessions about how we meet the needs of people from different communities, including LGBT, that I usually get blank looks.

One of the big motivators for writing this blog came from what a learner said to me a few weeks ago, echoing others in the past: “We don’t have anyone living in our care home who’s gay!” It’s an interesting assertion that many staff struggle to quantify since they have to admit that they don’t know the full life history of every person they provide care and support for, and that which they do know may be the ‘acceptable’ front that so many LGBT people in their 70’s, 80’s and 90’s have cultured from a young age to protect themselves from the worse of what society would have thrown at them over their lifetimes.

With the development of dementia, however, that carefully protected private life can become extremely vulnerable to intrusion in so many different ways. Contact with health and social care services may be something that a lesbian, gay, bi or trans person actively avoids due to fears from their earlier life of medical professionals who tried to ‘cure’ them through ‘conversion’ therapy, much of which would have come under the umbrella of old-style psychiatric services, and of course modern-day psychiatry is a key part of dementia care now.

If an LGBT person has a partner, that person may be assumed to be a relative or friend rather than a partner simply because they are the same sex, and difficulties around a homosexual partner having the same rights as a heterosexual partner remain commonplace. The disadvantage doesn’t end if the person is single either – a person with dementia who doesn’t have a partner, children or other loved ones to advocate for them is likely to have poorer experiences of health and social care services, and due to their sexuality, many older LGBT people may have become estranged from their family.

Life can feel very exposed for a person with dementia, and exposure may be the very last thing someone who’s never come out, or who struggled to come out many years ago, wants. A person may feel the need to come out repeatedly as they meet with the numerous different professionals that characterise most people’s experiences of health and social care services. Working out when it is ‘safe’ to disclose your sexual or gender identify can be difficult enough without the added complication of dementia affecting your cognition and decision-making abilities.

Issues around trust can be hugely challenging, not least since the person may be terrified of people who are effectively strangers providing care and support or any peers that they are living with in a care home environment making hurtful judgements should they learn the person’s sexuality or gender identity. Problems around personal care can be particularly acute, since the person may worry about being punished for their sexuality, or may be fearful of any scars from gender reassignment being noticed, commented on, discussed by colleagues or documented in a care plan.

We talk a lot in social care about supporting people to feel engaged and to express themselves, but if you’ve been born male and feel most comfortable identifying as a woman and dressing accordingly (or vice versa), trying to be yourself whilst living in a communal environment may feel impossible. For that person the risk of isolation and loneliness, and potentially more rapid progression of their dementia as a result, is a very real possibility.

So how do we overcome these challenges? I’m not naive enough to believe that care homes or other social care environments can universally become places that are welcoming and inclusive for LGBT people overnight. But while we cannot necessarily influence the viewpoints of the person’s peers, I believe that progress can be made in educating the workforce.

When I first designed my training modules a few years ago, I will admit I didn’t include education about any seldom heard groups. Now, I talk about LGBT, BAME, and LD communities routinely, as well as younger people living with dementia. Presenting the idea that staff may be supporting a person from the LGBT community and questioning assumptions is a first step towards improving inclusion. 

Importantly, it also ties in with everything I teach in relation to life story work. The idea that not everyone wants to share their life story, or that they may share what they believe are the ‘acceptable’ details, rather than those they fear are ‘unacceptable’, are some of the biggest challenges in how we understand the person’s past to improve their support today.

Acknowledging where difficulties like these lie, and pooling our knowledge to improve how we meet the needs of our ageing LGBT population, is so important if we are to make services more responsive to lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender people who are living with dementia and need, more than anything, to feel less stigmatised… not more.

Until next time...

You can follow me on Twitter: @bethyb1886
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Kathy’s story - Living with a learning disability and dementia

Imagine reaching your 40’s or 50’s having lived your whole life in the shadows of discrimination, exclusion, social stigma and poor treatment within many health and social care services... and then developing dementia. You’re younger than the majority of people who live with dementia and your dementia is likely (either through our perceptions or the circumstances of your health) to progress more rapidly. You are now part of one of the most seldom heard groups in society** - People living with a learning disability and dementia.

This is an issue close to my heart: My longest serving consultancy client of nearly 5 years are learning disability provider MacIntyre. I count many of the amazing people they support and their awesome staff as both colleagues and friends, but it wasn’t MacIntyre who originally introduced me to what life can be like when you’re a younger person with a learning disability and dementia.

On the day my dad moved into the care home that he would go on to spend over 8 years in, we met Kathy*. She was a bubbly, smiley, caring lady, clearly much younger than my dad and every other resident in the care home. She loved to ask questions and talk to anyone who would spend time with her.

Kathy wasn’t living with Down’s Syndrome, which is the learning disability most people associate with the development of Alzheimer’s Disease. Her only visitor was her sister, an older lady, devoted to her younger sibling and fiercely protective of her. Kathy’s sister was one of the most active and vocal contributors to resident’s meetings, making her a firm ally of ours. I’m sure she told me more about the disabilities and health issues that had dominated Kathy’s earlier life on one of our numerous chats over a cuppa, but I don’t recall the details.

Kathy’s room was in the corner at the end of the corridor, almost as if she was somehow set apart from the other residents - I never knew if that was deliberate or not. Kathy spent a lot of time in her room, making multiple clothing changes in a day and immersed with her toys and dolls. It was one of the most cosy rooms in the care home with every spare space filled, including having a bird feeder outside and plants on the windowsill that Kathy tended every day.

It’s been over 6 years since my dad died, but I still remember Kathy. She had a sparkle, but also a sadness. To be in a care home, surrounded by people significantly older than her, with staff who were mostly wonderful but without much time to spend with her (and the time they did spend with her was very much about tasks and functions) didn’t seem like the right environment for Kathy. She needed interaction, occupation (as did everyone!) and to socialise with her peers. 

Without her sister Kathy’s life would have been almost nondescript. Just another learning disability statistic, put into an aged care home that in the local area had a reputation for taking people other care homes wouldn’t take. Kathy’s sister was the person who had filled Kathy’s room with the things she loved, bought the clothes Kathy loved to keep changing into and the foodie treats that brightened up the long days.

Granted, the care home was better than Kathy living in one of the infamous long-stay hospitals, but that is a comparison that only looks favourable because long-stay hospitals really are the lowest dominator in terms of care and support provision for people with a learning disability. Back when my dad was alive I thought that was all Kathy could hope for, then in 2013 I began working with MacIntyre and was introduced to supported living, lifelong learning, person-centred approaches, Great Interactions, and the gold-standard of involving people in their care and support. The rest, as they say, is history.

I wish Kathy had known MacIntyre. I wish every person living with a learning disability, and especially people with LD who are developing dementia, could know MacIntyre. I’ll admit I’m bias; I’ve been heavily involved in their dementia work so of course I’m a huge supporter, but it really is groundbreaking as I wrote about here: ‘Watch And Learn: People With Learning Disabilities Leading The Way’ and here: ‘A Marriage Of Learning Disabilities And Dementia’.

But why does it matter you might wonder? Surely people like Kathy are few and far between? In fact, quite the opposite is true. People with a learning disability are living longer than ever before, but have a greater chance of developing dementia, with the link between Down’s Syndrome and Alzheimer’s Disease that I mentioned earlier being the biggest-known risk factor. Research and knowledge about LD and dementia remains patchy though, in common with so much about how as a society we view the importance of people with learning disabilities within our communities. 

Things are changing and heading in a more positive direction, but it shames us all that statistics like those calculated by the LeDeR (Learning Disabilities Mortality Review) programme tell us that a man with a learning disability dies 23 years younger than men in the general population, and that a woman with a learning disability dies 29 years younger than women in the general population. The median (when collecting data, this is the middle value, obtained from separating the higher half of the data sample from the lower half) age of death for a man with LD is 59 and for a woman is 56.

Those ages of course mean that if a person with a learning disability is going to develop dementia the majority will do so as a younger person, and in addition will likely face barriers in:

• Identifying their dementia (including diagnostic overshadowing, where a person’s dementia symptoms are written off as learning disability ‘behaviours’)
• Receiving a timely diagnosis (including difficulty accessing memory clinics and other specialist dementia services).
• Being offered treatments (including non-pharmacological interventions, like music therapy and life story work, which a person with a learning disability may never experience).
• Accessing age-appropriate, specialised care and support. 

I don’t know what happened to Kathy. My dad left the care home they shared on a cold March night by ambulance with an aspiration pneumonia that he never recovered from. He became a subject of safeguarding, and we went to clear his room shortly afterwards, the last time I saw Kathy. Her health, like my dad’s and everyone else’s, had deteriorated, she’d been hospitalised for bowel blockages and other stomach related issues, was immobile, and much of her spirit and communication abilities had become lost in the constant upheavals that characterised her life. The care home went on to be rated inadequate by CQC and has now closed.

Kathy had a life, but not the life she could or should have had, something far too many people with a learning disability experience. I’ve seen both sides of how we support people with a learning disability and dementia, and my appeal to anyone designing care and support services for our ageing learning disability population is to utalise best practice - it’s out there, shared by MacIntyre and others for all to learn from. It’s replicable, it’s achievable, and most of all it’s inspirational, because if we can get support for a person with a learning disability and dementia right, we can improve how everyone lives with dementia.

Until next time...

You can follow me on Twitter: @bethyb1886
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*Name changed to protect identity.

**September 2017 saw the launch of the Dementia Action Alliance's (DAA) 'From Seldom Heard to Seen and Heard' Campaign. The campaign focuses on people living with dementia and their families from six communities who are often marginalised from services and support: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender + (LGBT), Black, Asian and Minority Ethnic (BAME), Young onset dementia, The prison population, People living in rural communities and People with learning disabilities.

I'm a national member of the DAA, and proud to have worked with the team in developing this campaign, mostly by utilising my extensive knowledge and experience of working with people who have a learning disability and dementia. I wrote about BAME communities in my October 2017 blog, and people who are living in rural communities in my March 2018 blog.

Why culture matters in dementia care

Last month saw the launch of the Dementia Action Alliance’s (DAA) ‘From Seldom Heard to Seen and Heard’ Campaign. The campaign focuses on people living with dementia and their families from six communities who are often marginalised from services and support: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender + (LGBT), Black, Asian and Minority Ethnic (BAME), Young onset dementia, The prison population, People living in rural communities and People with learning disabilities.

I’m a national member of the DAA, and proud to have worked with the team in developing this campaign, mostly by utilizing my extensive knowledge and experience of working with people who have a learning disability and dementia. For this blog post, however, I want to think about the BAME population, and with Brexit on the horizon, anyone born outside of the UK who is now ageing in the UK and living with dementia.

When I contributed to the Jessica Kingsley book ‘Culture, Dementia and Ethnicity’ I wrote about my experiences of my dad’s relationship with his Filipino key worker. Many others from BAME backgrounds wrote about their own experiences, some hugely challenging due to cultural differences, the expectations and assumptions that are made by different communities, and the sheer dearth of culturally-appropriate services.

In my dad’s 9 years in care homes, I only ever met one lady who was from a BAME background. Granted dad was living in the home counties rather than an inner city, but with a significant Asian population in the local town, it struck me as strange that more people with Indian or Pakistani heritage didn’t live there too, particularly as the staff team was very multicultural.

Of course when I began the work I do now, I heard all those stereotyped viewpoints that Asian families ‘look after their own’ - indeed, just nine days after I began my D4Dementia blog, I read a blog published on The Age Page by guest blogger Manjit Nijjar, recalling her experiences as a carer to her father. The blog completely drew me in as Manjit described the struggles she faced, and the prevalence of the notion that Asian families ‘look after their own’.

Keeping health problems ‘behind closed doors’ and ‘looking after your own’ are viewpoints that make dangerous assumptions that a family is able to cope – Manjit wasn’t coping, and in the 5+ years since her blog was published, I’m sure many other carers from BAME backgrounds have had similar experiences. Diagnosis rates within BAME communities don’t reflect the likely prevalence in the population, suggesting that many families either don’t want to seek help when they notice changes in a loved one’s health, or are believing stigmatised viewpoints about dementia ‘madness’ which leave them too ashamed to seek help.

Even with a large extended family, it isn’t a given that family carers will have the skills and abilities to care for a loved one with dementia, and if they aren’t accessing mainstream services, they may never receive any professional support. Package all of that up together and you are likely to find significant numbers of isolated BAME families struggling to cope against pressure from their community to just soldier on, despite limited or non-existent knowledge of dementia.

Then, of course, there are the challenges faced by the services people from BAME backgrounds do access. From the time I spent with the Asian lady in my dad’s care home, it was clear staff had little understanding of how to support her. She’d reverted to her childhood language that few people (including her family) understood, was disorientated in an unfamiliar, very British-style environment, and attitudes to supporting her cultural needs around food (Halal) were at times shocking.

We know that dementia care for those born in this country has many challenges. For those born overseas, however, whose early memories and emotions are attached to a different land, living in another culture greatly reduces the chances of living well unless services are very mindful of the needs of those individuals and their families, most notably:

Language: As with the Asian lady in my dad’s care home, many people from BAME backgrounds who develop dementia may revert to using a language they learnt in their childhood. As with all language challenges, however, it may not be a simple case of using different words - the words, letters and sounds can become muddled, no matter what the language is that the person is trying to communicate in. Looking beyond verbal communication to aspects like body language and gestures may be more helpful than trying to decipher words and phrases.

Environment: One of the most powerful recent testimonies I’ve heard regarding supporting a person from a BAME background who is living with dementia came on a BBC Radio 5 Live phone-in programme last month (sadly no longer available on iPlayer), where a gentleman described supporting his father during his years with dementia, and a particularly poignant trip to Pakistan to enable his father to see family and friends he’d grown up with and visit places that were important to him. He described his father’s joy, and listening to his story it was clear that for those few short weeks his father truly felt he’d returned home - he was living well.

The son went on to describe the great comfort those memories give him now his father has died, and although I’m not suggesting families or care providers can all facilitate holidays to homelands for every BAME person who is living with dementia, there is some really important learning here about recreating familiar environments (including colours and fabrics, and sensory elements like smells and sounds) maintaining connections with family members and friends (through technology like Skype), and really investing time and effort in life story work.

Customs: These can be anything, from religious practices to the way the person structures their day. Some elements, like prayer time, may be very important, and there may be sacred elements to the person’s life, and their end-of-life wishes, that need to be understood and carefully adhered to.

Preferences: Again, the spectrum here is huge, anything from the way the person dresses to the food they eat, the occupations and activities they wish to take part in, and potentially who they want to spend their time with. Whilst we may actively encourage multicultural living, it isn’t something everyone feels comfortable with, particularly when single men and women are mixing together in communal areas.

When thinking about both customs and preferences, it’s important to remember that for every custom or preference that is vital to one individual, another person living with dementia may wish to discard some or all of these through their own choice. Being non-judgmental and mindful of choice and control is vital in supporting the person effectively. Just because a person has dementia it doesn’t make their choices, whatever they may be, any less relevant.

If all health and care services can become more culturally aware, and in turn reap the benefits of that (both for the BAME individuals they support and for everyone else though learning about and celebrating other cultures) it will represent a really important step in improving the lives of people from BAME backgrounds who are living with dementia and their families.

Until next time...

You can follow me on Twitter: @bethyb1886

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How dementia and personality interact

We talk A LOT in dementia care about how dementia changes a person. Often it's distilled down into very negative language, and bracketed as 'challenging behaviour' (a phrase I dislike immensely). Yet, the spectrum of change is immense, very personal to each individual, and definitely worthy of far greater exploration and understanding.

Part of the reason that I think so many people struggle with the personality changes associated with dementia is you can't 'see' them in the way you can see a physical problem. Whilst physical changes can be very distressing - for example if a person becomes immobile, loses weight, loses teeth, wears a catheter or needs help to eat - we associate that type of change with a need to care for that person, helping to minimise any discomfort and keep them as well as possible.

Personality changes in the general discourse of life are bracketed under the 'mental health' banner, and as such have an additional stigma attached to them, before you even add in dementia as a factor. We also make a lot of assumptions when associating personality changes with dementia, most notably:

•   That the person with dementia has never experienced this type of change before. Are we really sure that in their whole life course to this point that they haven't had times when they've been emotional, depressed or angry? They may have concealed these feelings from others, even people very close to them. The difference may be that now they’ve developed dementia, they find it harder to conceal these elements of their personality.
 

•   That every person who develops dementia was a 'nice' person before they developed dementia. It may be unpalatable to admit it but we are all different, and some people just don't get on with other people of contrasting personalities no matter how much we might want them too - be they other residents in a care home, health and social care staff or even their own family. That, as they say, is life.

Personality changes can be temporary or permanent for a person with dementia, depending upon  the damage to the person's brain (for example a stroke may mean an instant change for a person), the type of dementia they have (for example people with a form of frontotemporal dementia may have more pronounced personality changes), and other factors such as who is around the person (the company of some individuals may trigger different reactions), their environment, other health conditions, side-effects of medications, and even issues like changes in the seasons (increased darkness in winter for example) or memories of certain times of the year, events, people or places.

 

Personality changes encompass as many differences as you can imagine. Examples include:

•    A previously relaxed person becoming very anxious or angry (or vice-versa).

•    A previously more detached person becoming much more emotional (or vice-versa).

•    A previously tough person becoming a lot 'softer' and showing their feelings more (or vice-versa) - This was true for my dad.

•    A previously private person becoming more of an exhibitionist (or vice-versa).

•    A previously tolerant person becoming intolerant (or vice-versa).

You may recognise someone you love, or yourself, as having undergone such a change, even a more subtle one, as a result of developing dementia. What I think those of us without dementia, and particularly family carers and health and social care professionals, need to understand is that:
 

•   Change is ok, even changes that we perceive as difficult. The more we worry, try to correct, mourn and yearn for the person 'as they were' the harder we make it for the person with dementia and ourselves. Adjustment is hard, I know that only too well, but failure to adjust is harder still.

•   If we can adapt our approach and interactions with the person, we have the ability to offer the mental equivalent of what I wrote about above in relation to physical changes, namely to; "Care for that person, helping to minimise any discomfort and keep them as well as possible". Examples of how to do this are through person-centred care, life-story work, reablement, occupation, sensory therapies (including touch), making spiritual connections, music, our approach to personal care, and even by something as simple as modifying the way we communicate.

•   Don't automatically view medication as the answer - often the first resort for any 'negative' personality changes is to assume that the person is depressed and put them onto anti-depressants. Medication may be suitable in a few situations, but generally the answer is greater understanding, care and support on the part of those around the person. Again, it goes back to the points about adjustment and adaptation.

Every day can, and often is, very different. Sometimes the changes in a person's personality may be more, or less, pronounced. If they become less pronounced, you may feel like the person is 'returning to their old self', only to see the 'reversal' of that the next day, week or month. It can seem cruel, and is a fertile breeding ground for the 'blame game', where the person with dementia, or a carer or family member, feels such changes very personally. If changes can be linked to a particular aspect of the person's life, then mitigating against that trigger could obviously be very beneficial, but sometimes there is no apparent 'reason' apart from the unpredictability of dementia.

 

During my dad's latter years with dementia I saw him cry more than I had in all of the years prior to that. I saw anger and anxiety too, which I wouldn't have associated with my dad prior to his dementia. With the power of hindsight, however, I can also see reasons for these differences in him, ways in which I, and others, may have contributed to them, not to mention environments like hospitals and care homes, and some medication he was given.

 

That's not to in any way exclude how vascular dementia affected my dad's brain - so much of what he experienced was, from the perspective of the physical changes in his brain, beyond our control. Coming to terms with that, whilst trying to provide the very best care and support you can, is a balancing act that is as fine as any personality change can be.

 

Until next time...

You can follow me on Twitter: @bethyb1886

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