Resolve to tackle loneliness

“It’ll be lonely this Christmas

Without you to hold

It'll be lonely this Christmas

Lonely and cold.”

So sang English glam rock band Mud (in the style of Elvis Presley) to top the UK singles chart in 1974, selling over 750,000 copies and reaching Christmas number one.

44 years later, and as this song joins the throngs of Christmas music on the airwaves for another year, I’ve found myself wondering if we might ever reduce the estimated 9 million+ people in the UK who are said to be ‘always or often lonely’ to closer to the number of copies this song sold back in 1974. If we could, that would mean 8,250,000 less lonely people.

The 9 million+ statistic came from research by The British Red Cross earlier this year. They described the figure as representing ‘epidemic levels of loneliness and social isolation’, and few could argue with that assessment. It’s a hugely negative reflection on our modern-day society, and ironically comes in an age where we’ve never had so much connectivity through technology and yet so many of us feel more isolated than ever before.

The reasons for loneliness in the UK are many and varied, with commentators sighting everything from social media use to poor work-life cultures. I personally feel that the English 'stiff upper lip' culture also plays a role - not wanting to admit you feel lonely or isolated, fear of being rejected if you do seek help or support or even just reach out to someone you know who may themselves be too caught up in life to respond to you in the way you hope they might, and feeling compelled to hold all of your feelings and worries within you.

Amongst those most vulnerable to isolation and loneliness are older people, those living with long-term health conditions, including dementia, and those who provide care and support for a loved one. The very nature of ageing means you lose friends and family as your peers pass away, and of course living with dementia can pose such significant challenges with social interaction that many people would rather avoid it, particularly if they haven't managed to connect with like-minded individuals through peer support (examples of peer-support groups for people with dementia include DEEP and DAI).

Indeed, such is the risk of isolation and loneliness for people with dementia that the Dementia Action Alliance 'Dementia Statements' (that I wrote about in August 2017) specifically say, "We have the right to continue with day-to-day and family life, without discrimination or unfair cost, to be accepted and included in our communities and not live in isolation or loneliness." 

It’s also worth remembering that social isolation is thought to increase a person’s risk of developing dementia, hence why the importance of social interaction is highlighted as a potential preventative measure. With this in mind, in my training for care providers I talk to social care staff about the dangers of isolation and loneliness amongst the people they support and we discuss ways this can be combatted.

While staff who provide support to people in their own homes are often much more aware of the risks posed by isolation and loneliness, as many of their clients live alone, care home staff often haven’t considered that loneliness might be a significant factor in the lives of the people that they are supporting, simply because they assume that if a person is living in a communal environment they won’t be lonely. Yet quite the opposite is true - some of the loneliest people in the world are those in a room full of other people, and a bedroom can be a very isolating place if you don’t feel able, or cannot through physical or mental health issues, come out of that room to socialise with your peers.

With the festive season seen as a particularly isolating time of year, many charities and organisation are again voicing their concerns about loneliness. Last week Age UK published analysis that said 1.7 million older people in England can go for a month without meeting up with a friend, and that 300,000 over 65s have not had a conversation with family or friends over the same period. They also said that half a million older people across the UK are likely to feel lonely this Christmas, with more than 230,000 older people expected to be on their own for at least one day over the Christmas period (from Christmas Eve to New Year’s Day).

After Christmas, I predict that there will be more reports of helplines receiving record numbers of calls over the festive period. Last Christmas, The Silver Line – the only free, 24-hour, national helpline for lonely and isolated older people open all year round – reported that Christmas 2017 was their busiest ever, with over 14000 calls made to their helpline, around 1000 more than during Christmas 2016. Their greatest spike in calls was on New Year’s Day, with 1773 callers – up 14% on January 1st 2017. 

So how is loneliness being tackled? The response ranges from the Campaign to End Loneliness to the legacy work in memory of Jo Cox MP, alongside the UK government appointing the world’s first Minister for Loneliness (Tracey Crouch, who later resigned her position over an unrelated matter), and the publication of England’s first Loneliness Strategy.

But despite all of this, loneliness remains a huge issue. In the run up to Christmas 2015, I wrote for the UK Huffington Post about a campaign Friends of the Elderly were running about loneliness, and now here we are in 2018 and I have even more campaigns I could write about, which suggests we aren’t really making significant progress.

Why? Because to tackle loneliness we all have to do our bit. High profile initiatives, whilst very welcome and often packing a significant punch, can’t on their own make any individual feel less lonely, or persuade each of us to do something to help combat loneliness amongst our family members, friends, neighbours and acquaintances.

That ‘something’ doesn't have to be a huge action, it can be really small. At this time of year, just sending a Christmas card to someone you know says “I’m thinking of you.” If that person is older, not local to you, not on email and you don’t have an up-to-date phone number for them, a card is a simple way to reach out. Or for people who don’t want to write Christmas cards, donate to one of the charities that help to support people who are at risk of isolation and loneliness.

Of course there is no simple fix to the UK’s loneliness problem - a cuppa with your neighbour or having a festive clear-out and donating your unwanted items to a charity that supports people who are isolated and lonely won’t banish loneliness for every isolated person. But as you think of your New Year’s resolutions, bear in mind that a resolution to do your bit to tackle the UK’s loneliness epidemic is something that is achievable for all of us and might just make someone’s day (as well as yours).

Thank you for all your support in 2018. Until 2019...

You can follow me on Twitter: @bethyb1886
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Bringing the generations together

There have been few documentaries I’ve enjoyed as much as Channel 4’s ‘Old People’s Home for 4 Year Olds’. For me it ticked every box - it featured some amazing older people (the oldest was 102) and pre-school children (the youngest was 3), it looked at ageing, social care, healthcare, education and child development, it demonstrated innovation combined with scientific rigour, and best of all, it featured some really positive outcomes for the older people and the children involved.

It’s no surprised I loved the programme given the 9 years my dad spent in care homes, the work I do now with older people and those who provide care and support for them, and as a mum to a preschooler, my current immersion in the world of early years education. 

The seed for my enthusiasm for intergenerational work was sown watching my dad light up whenever children visited other residents in his care home. Sadly though, the time many of these children spent in the home was brief and their visits sporadic, so my dad never really had the chance to fully benefit from their presence, unlike the 10 older people featured in Old People’s Home for 4 Year Olds.

In our household, this documentary was particularly timely - in the weeks it aired we were settling our daughter into pre-school. It hasn’t been the easiest transition for her, but I am absolutely certain given her relationship with my mum (who is 79), that had she had the option to go into an early-years educational establishment that meant she shared her pre-school time with older people she would have settled a lot quicker.

The synergies for me don’t end there either. In an attempt to help our daughter settle into pre-school life I made her a memory book, which I’m gradually filling up with photos of all the adventures that we’ve had this year. A memory book for an (almost) 3-year-old - They are for older people (and people living with dementia) right? Wrong! They are amazing at every age and stage of life, and the book has been phenomenal for our daughter. It's given her pages of lovely familiar photos to comfort her and prompt her to talk about her adventures, and it's enabled her teachers to get to know her so much quicker and easier.

In essence, we are actually informally running our own mini intergenerational experiment in our house. My mum lives with us, and although I don't have scientists or experts measuring the effects of this for our daughter and my mum, I can informally categorically say that our daughter’s communication, reading, interactions and skills-set have benefitted so much from extensive time with her Granny, and for my mum, our daughter has physically and mentally challenged her, kept her going and brought so much joy, excitement and unpredictability into her life.

If my mum was living alone she would have had none of this, and would have been much more isolated and potentially lonely, as many of her peers sadly are. Meanwhile for our daughter, with the best will in the world, she would never have had as many books read to her or enjoyed so many other little learning experiences without Granny around every day. 

So, what do we learn from Old People’s Home for 4 Year Olds and my own domestic life? For me it’s that keeping generations in silos is so outdated. I’m not saying that arrangements like those shown on Old People’s Home for 4 Year Olds would work for every older person or indeed every preschooler. Some older people wouldn't want that level of noise, interaction and energy around them. Equally, some preschoolers may prefer to only be with their peers or adults of their parent’s age.

But there needs to be much more choice for everyone who would benefit. Older people who would like to interact with preschoolers could find a new purpose in life, teaching and supporting children to learn, and keeping themselves physically and mentally active into the bargain. Meanwhile preschoolers, who may have busy working parents and live long distances from their own grandparents, could benefit from the patience and time less hurried older people may be able to provide. And that, of course, is to say nothing of the exchange of wisdom that would be happening. 

For those with a less practical, romantic vision who are only interested in hard facts, muse on this. Old People’s Home for 4 Year Olds showed significant physical and mental improvements in the older people over the 3-months of this experiment, all of which could potentially cut the costs associated with their health and care needs. Examples included:

• 102-year-old Sylvia going from being classed as frail at the beginning of the experiment to being no longer classed as frail at the end of the 3-months. Sylvia's cognitive health tests also improved by +3 points.
• 97-year-old Victor improved his depression score by +3.
• 81-year-old Lavinia went from taking 495 steps per day to 1750 later in the experiment, and this despite a fall during the 3-months.

And overall amongst the older participants:

• 5/10 improved their balance.
• 9/10 improved their grip strength (an indicator of overall health).
• Almost half of the volunteers reduced their risk of falling.

The children also showed improvements, including the youngest child, Zach, improving his personal and social interactions and use of language, and Mason improving his sense of what it means to be an older person and developing his ability to nurture and be empathetic. Indeed, such is the impact of this experiment that The ExtraCare Charitable Trust, who run Lark Hill Retirement Village where Old People’s Home for 4 Year Olds was filmed, have committed to a lasting legacy for the project that will see a rolling six week intergenerational activity programme for Lark Hill residents and children from its neighbouring nurseries.

I can see so many positives in intergenerational approaches, and in the 6+ years I’ve done the work I do now I don’t think anything has excited me as much as the potential for bringing the older and younger generations together. The possibilities seem almost endless to my eager brain which is desperate to see new initiatives for the youngest and oldest in our society.

I feel we have become very stale, very staid, in our approaches to supporting people at the polar opposites of the age spectrum and it saddens me. For older people, they don’t necessarily have years to wait to get the care and support that they need, to alleviate their loneliness, to give them purpose and a reason to live the best life that they can. And for our youngest citizens, their brains are alive with possibility and opportunity, just waiting for us to ignite their imagination and feed them with the facts about anything and everything that makes up the world we live in.

For me there is no time to waste. No ifs, no buts. I’m proud that in our own little way through our domestic life that we are doing this as a family, but I would love to hear from any individuals or organisations who want to do intergenerational work like that shown on Old People’s Home for 4 Year Olds at scale. For our older and younger citizens, let’s make this happen!

Until next time...

You can follow me on Twitter: @bethyb1886
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Older carers - Isolated and forgotten

Last week was Carers Week, an annual awareness raising campaign that highlights the vital role of people who care, unpaid, for family or friends. Carers Week also aims to promote ways in which carers can be better supported, which is particularly relevant for one group of carers who I feel are amongst the most marginalised in society - older carers.

While many people dream of retirement and ageing as a golden period in their life when they can pursue the hobbies they enjoy and where their time is truly their own for, potentially, the first time in their life, the reality for an increasing number of older people (70+, 80+ and beyond) is that they are taking on a new and very unexpected role - that of an unpaid carer.

Most commonly this would be for a husband, wife or partner, but potentially also for a sibling, a friend, a neighbour or even their own adult child. I personally don't believe that there is an accurate figure for how many older people are carers. Age UK reported last month that 417,000 people aged 80 and over are carers (which equates to 1 in 7 people in this age group), with 144,000 of these individuals providing care for more than 35 hours a week. However, in common with the rest of the caring population, many older carers don't identify as being 'a carer' and are therefore never counted in official statistics.

My concern is that because older carers may be even less likely to engage with carers’ organisations, both from the perspective of getting support but also participating in surveys/data collection etc, they are even more isolated and underrepresented than younger carers. There is also the double whammy effect at play – we know that as people age they can become more isolated and lonely. As a society we aren’t great at supporting our older population generally, but if you also happen to be a carer you are potentially in an even more marginalised position.

Then you can possibly add in the stigma associated with the various health conditions the person being cared for may have, which in many instances will include either suspected or diagnosed dementia. It is my view that people who care for a loved one with dementia are often even more isolated than other carers due to the lack of understanding about dementia, the complexities it can present, and the long-term, progressive nature of dementia.

Why I have a particular passion for raising awareness of the needs of older carers is largely because I've met so many of them. People who tell a tale, time and time again, of how they'd planned with their spouse of x number of years (usually a lot of years) to have a dream retirement, before the love of their life developed dementia and everything changed.

Some people remain upbeat, research the particular type of dementia their loved one has, access support independently of the health and social care systems, implement their own coping methods and get on with life. But many older people just don't have the means to begin that crucial research process and access vital support, and life begins to unravel from there.

Much of the best support available is online, through social media for example, and the internet is an amazing resource for research and building knowledge and understanding, but it only works for you if you have a computer or device that you can operate, and access to broadband to connect you to this virtual world. 

Again, some older people do, and I know from my own experience that my mum, who is in her mid-seventies, is a total convert and daily user of an iPhone and iPad. But her ability with these devices has been build up largely by living in a multigenerational household where us younger members can help her. 

I suspect that my mum is in the minority though. Far more older people live alone, or are only living with the person they care for - they aren't able to go out to classes to learn about technology, nor can they just pop down to the local library to use a computer if there is no one else to care for the person they are caring for. Leaflets in the GP's surgery or a telephone helpline may bring more accessible support into their life, but the real issues go far deeper.

They can include denial, with some older people trying - with the best intentions - to cover up the health problems that their spouse is experiencing. This further isolates them from the help they need, and keeps other family members - for example adult children - in the dark. Frequently there are also financial concerns, with people worrying about paying for professional care (thus trying to provide more care themselves and often putting their own health at risk), and a lack of awareness about the assessments they are entitled to.

The very nature of ageing, where a person is likely to develop more health problems, means that older carers are at high risk of carer breakdown. The physical and mental rigors of caring for another adult mean a move into a residential care setting for the cared for person is very likely, particularly at known key-points of acute stress, for example if the cared for person becomes immobile or incontinent. 

I suspect that all of this is just the tip of the iceberg though. I feel strongly that as a society we don't know anywhere near enough about what being an older carer is really like, and because this group of people are more isolated than many others, their opinions and feedback on their experiences and views are rarely gathered systematically or on a large scale.

As a result we don't hear their voices, and policies often don't reflect the needs this group of carers have. I sincerely hope that the new Carers Strategy, which is due to be published later this year, will include key aspirations for supporting older carers, harnessing not just health and social care in joint endeavour but also engaging the wider community.

We all have a role to play in identifying and supporting older carers, and it can be in really simple ways. For example, on a few occasions I've printed off internet resources for older people who are caring for a loved one but don’t have access to the online world. On those occasions I've also made a point of ensuring I include information about carer's assessments and carer's allowance - even if a person doesn't feel they want to have an assessment or apply for benefit at that time things can, and do, change.

As Sir Francis Bacon is quoted in saying in the maxim for his book, ‘Meditationes Sacrae and Human Philosophy' that was published in 1597, “Knowledge is power.” And it is. Moreover, when it comes to being an unpaid carer, it should never just be the preserve of the young.

Until next time...

You can follow me on Twitter: @bethyb1886

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Dehumanisation in hospitals

I have many personal dislikes to language used in relation to older people or people who are living with dementia, but a particular phrase is the subject of this blog mostly because I think it says a huge amount about how the healthcare system sees the very people it is there to serve.

‘Bed blocker’ has become a commonly used phrase to describe a person who is medically fit to leave hospital, but who cannot return to their previous life – perhaps living alone in their own home – due to their personal care and support needs. People who are living with dementia, whether it’s diagnosed or not, are at particularly risk of longer stays in hospital and by default adding the unwanted stigma of being a ‘bed blocker’ to their already stigmatised life.

Such delays in hospital discharge are usually caused by our bloated health and social care systems arguing over who is going to assess, organise, provide and fund an appropriate care package. It is often exacerbated by health and social care professionals failing to communicate between themselves, external care providers, the person - the ‘bed blocker’ - and their family.

What is really lost when we talk about people who are in hospital for longer than they should be is that every ‘bed blocker’ is an individual with a rich life history, a home they are perhaps longing to return to, and immense confusion and frustration at remaining in hospital. No one is more greatly affected than the person who has been labelled a ‘bed blocker’, which is what makes this label all the more offensive.

As a frail older person with dementia in hospital you are largely powerless to decide when you leave, and to some extent, where you might go. Yes, you can discharge yourself, but many people don't have the physical or mental capability to do that, particularly in an environment that strips them of their identity and life skills. They may not be able to find their clothes and organise the transport needed to leave, let alone be able to access their bathroom and bedroom, prepare food and drinks or take medication once they are out of hospital.

The situation is particularly acute for people with dementia because they have increased care and support needs that are very specialised, and with our fragmented health and social care systems it can be difficult to agree, source and fund that specialist provision. The person themselves may not be able to make their own decisions, or possibly could but they don't have access to appropriate advocacy services, and if the person has a family, they aren’t always nearby to provide additional help.

These are older people who are frail and vulnerable, and yet they are seen as being in the way and wasting NHS resources, despite the fact that throughout their working lives they would have helped to fund the NHS. ‘Bed blocking’ has even become an argument for some people who are keen to promote euthanasia, a concept that I’m not sure could be any more dehumanising.

Technically, my dad was a ‘bed blocker’. The two inpatient stays he had whilst waiting for care home placements were lengthy – one stay was three months – and as he became more frail in the last few years of his life, he was admitted to hospital  from his care home with both chest and urine infections. As he was already in the social care system and with funding in place, he did at least have somewhere to be discharged back to, but the care home still had to assess him and agree to have him back.

We were more fortunate than many families whose ageing loved ones yo-yo between hospital and home, struggling in both settings, or who watch their loves ones deteriorating in hospital while they become pawns in funding assessments between health and social care services. Hospitals can be dangerous places for older people who are living with dementia, especially given hospital infection rates and staffing levels. Who would want to lay in a hospital bed day-after-day with only hospital food to eat and with an unbroken night’s sleep an impossible dream – it’s hardly a preferable choice is it?

Yet somehow the term ‘bed blocker’ makes it sound as if the person is actually deliberately blocking the smooth operation of the hospital by outstaying their welcome. It might be a simple term for a hospital manager to illustrate the capacity crisis in their service, or for a journalist looking for a headline grabbing phrase, but it remains about as far away from kindness and compassion as you could possibly get.

So can we ever get away from the term ‘bed blocking’?

Last Wednesday, 11 March, marked NHS Change Day, and although I didn’t personally get involved this year if I’d been creating a campaign it would have been around this issue. The NHS needs to get away from seeing people as a box to tick or a bed to empty. Integration (Joined-up thinking) may be a phrase even more overused than ‘bed blocker’, but I genuinely believe that the answer to many of the challenges the NHS faces with lengthy inpatient stays comes from the availability and funding of social care services.

When the fundamental issues of how and where we provide high quality care and support for frail older people are resolved, we may find we no longer have ‘bed blockers’. In the meantime, let’s stop giving the impression that patients are to blame for being in hospital beds and ditch this dehumanising phrase once and for all.

Until next time...

You can follow me on Twitter: @bethyb1886

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Your voice

Sometimes I meet people who seem genuinely perplexed by my passion for the work that I do. Trying to convey the warmth and genuine love I have for my vocation isn’t always easy, particularly amongst those with very negative viewpoints of older people and people living with dementia. In my mind, however, if I can plant just one small seed of positivity into their mind then our conversation will have been worthwhile.

As those who have followed my work will know, I began D4Dementia for two main reasons: To help others and to ensure that the legacy of my dad’s life makes a real and lasting difference to society. What I never imagined was that just 18 months later I would receive a very prestigious award.

Being named ‘Best Independent Voice on Older People’s Issues’ at this year’s Older People in the Media Awards is undoubtedly the highlight of these last 18 months. My only sadness is that my dad isn’t here with me to share in this award, and be part of the photos and the memories, but I hope that he is very proud of the legacy his life is creating.



Winning 'Best Independent Voice on Older People's Issues'

I have been truly blessed to receive so many congratulatory messages, every one of which I am very grateful for, and as you can imagine my family, and in particular my mum, are incredibly proud. This award is about more than just my personal celebrations, however. It is a huge honour to have received it, but it is an even greater responsibility.

Our ageing population is growing on an unprecedented scale. The prevalence of dementia is also increasing, as are the numbers of people living with other long-term health conditions that require health and social care support. Against this backdrop there are also many other factors that are affecting older people’s quality of life. Do we have enough suitable housing? Can our elders manage to keep warm and eat healthily with the incomes that they have? And with more older people living alone, how do we support them with social interaction, combat isolation and loneliness, and ensure that they can live a meaningful life?

Huge questions that sadly I don’t have all the answers to. My role, however, is to continue to ask these questions, support campaigns that try to address key shortcomings in society (including the newly launched ‘Silver Line’ that offers older people a free, 24 hour, confidential helpline), and provide a voice to articulate the issues that concern older people. I have never, and will never understand why as a society we struggle so much to support and care for our citizens as they get older, but a particular tweet recently bought an element of thinking around this issue into sharp focus.

Put simply, the person sending the tweet said that as a society we lose interest in any group of people who do not contribute monetarily to our country. Although this goes vehemently against my viewpoint, I have to admit that I fear this person is painfully accurate in their observations. It has long bothered me that in a world obsessed by celebrity, image, technology and money, many older people are deemed irrelevant, surplice to requirements and a burden on society.

I’ve written previously about how we don’t see older people in a positive light because they aren’t young and sexy. Many older people simply couldn’t care less about the superficial nature of celebrity and image, and frankly I would argue that they have a very good point! Some older people have embraced technology (my mother had a smartphone before I did), but many others prefer more conventional methods of communication and avoid social media and having a house full of wires and ‘devices’. Should they be ostracised from society because of this? No of course not.

Meanwhile, for many people retirement means a fixed income that over time can leave them struggling to cope against the rising cost of living. I would point out, however, that people on a pension are still taxed once their income goes over a relatively meagre threshold, and of course many people end up having to use their life savings, and even sell their home, to pay for care.

Despite all of the negative perceptions of older people they are still consumers, contributing hugely to the economy in the retail, tourism and leisure sectors to name just a few. They were the people who pioneered the early inventions that have led to the technology we have today, and indeed defended the freedoms we now take for granted. Whatever Mr Google can tell you, he will never be as engaging as listening to an older person imparting their unique brand of knowledge and wisdom, complete with the wrinkles and grey hairs that are the trademark of a life lived to the max. And perhaps most engagingly of all, our elders offer us a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to connect to generations who have now passed away, a connection that we often take for granted until it is too late to make it.

I’m proud of our older people. Their stoicism and resilience. Their dignity and wisdom. Even in the darkest days of my dad’s dementia, he had the fundamental qualities of being a good and decent person that many people much younger than him could learn from. Our elders have an elegance that a lot of my contemporaries cannot match, and they have a charisma that draws you into their stories and memories that I only hope I can match when I’m in my 70’s, 80’s and 90’s.

Being positive about ageing is about more than just pointing out what makes our older people so wonderful, however. It’s about realising that, health and luck permitting, we will all be older one day. Technically, as every day goes past we take another small step towards being an older person. Personally I want to approach those days with positivity, enjoying the wisdom I’m accumulating and the stories I will have to tell, and in a society that I know will value me.

Receiving my award gave me a particularly special story to tell, and I hope that as YOUR ‘Best Independent Voice on Older People’s Issues’ I will make many more.

Thank you for all your support.

Until next time...

You can follow me on Twitter: @bethyb1886

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15-minutes of shame

As a light was shone, yet again, on the huge inadequacies within our home care services as the issue of 15-minute visits hit the headlines, I decided to time my morning routine. Just how much could I as an able-bodied thirty-something, fairly fit and known to be someone who is constantly on the go, get done in 15-minutes?

Well, the answer was that I couldn’t get out of bed, make a cup of tea, cut, toast and butter my breakfast bread, use the loo, have a wash and get dressed within my 15-minutes. Something had to give for me to make my target, in fact quite a lot had to give in the end, as I like a shower rather than a quick rub over with a damp flannel, I needed to blow-dry my hair, and we’d run out of butter for the toast, so I had to pop to the shop.

It will come as no surprise to my family that it took me more than 15-minutes to get ready for the day ahead, but I hope it provides a sobering thought for anyone who believes that 15-minutes is long enough to fulfil the care needs of an older or disabled person.

This may be a person who will take most of the 15-minutes just to be helped to get out of bed. They potentially then have to choose between having a hot drink, something to eat, visiting the loo or having their incontinence pad changed or catheter checked, having the sort of wash that they would want (imagine never having the chance to enjoy a bath or shower because there is no time to help you with that), getting dressed and having their medication. Even something as simple as a hot-water bottle may not be filled in time to help keep you warm.

All that is before we even get onto the personal interaction (a chat in other words) that so many vulnerable and isolated older people crave, or the care worker addressing any unexpected problems of a personal or domestic nature (health problems, heating breakdowns or water leaks for example – things that cannot be ignored as they could put the person in danger). You cannot possibly even begin to tackle all of these needs within a 15-minute window – it is degrading to the person who needs care to even try, and insulting to the care worker to expect them to hit that type of target.

We need to understand that care isn’t a luxury. It’s not a Gucci handbag or a Ferrari parked on your driveway. It is the most basic, fundamental thing that we all need. Most of us take care for granted because we can care for ourselves without any assistance, and then we have children and naturally find ourselves caring for them without giving it a second thought.

Imagine trying to give a baby all of the care it needs in the morning within a 15-minute window. We have maternity and paternity leave not just so that parents can bond with their child and establish their family, but because that child will need a lot of care. Many adults need similar levels of care and support, in a different context of course, yet many councils believe that it is achievable within 15-minute timeframes.

Our social care system is broken at the point in which we place a stopwatch on care, and why is that stopwatch there? Time is considered to be a useful way in which to price work, and the price on care is being continually squeezed. Public money either isn’t available, or hasn’t been made available, to fund the increasing care needs of our ageing population who are living longer but with far more complex long-term conditions. Even most people who privately fund their care do not have a bottomless pit of money and are still subjected to 15-minute care visits.

I fear as a nation we simply do not understand what care involves. The complexities of it and the fact that it cannot be rushed. We don’t place enough value of the importance of human interaction and the joy and comfort that it can bring. We don’t see care as an investment a compassionate society should be making, but rather see it as an annoying drain on resources that must be cut back to the bone. We bypass basic human rights, we tolerate the fact that it is undignified and lacking in compassion, and ultimately ignore the reality that it’s dangerous to try and provide care within 15-minute windows. We effectively treat prisoners better.

Yes social care needs more money, and sadly I don’t hold the purse strings, but it also needs an overhaul. Councils, commissioners and care agencies need to look at themselves and be honest – are they really proud of the work that they do? Can they achieve what they expect the average care worker to achieve in 15-minutes, and have they ever put themselves into the shoes of the person needing care?

I challenge you – time yourself. How much can you get done in 15-minutes that involves your personal care, basic nutrition and hydration, and caters for your need to be kept warm? Then consider how mobility problems, reduction in your sight and/or hearing, or any other medical problem might affect your ability to fulfil those needs. Then factor in having someone to help you so that you can overcome the limitations your body places on you. Then check your watch. I guarantee that you will need far longer than 15-minutes to achieve this.

Until next time...

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Why, oh why, oh why?

Incensed. Appalled. Outraged. Indeed there are a plethora of words to describe how I felt on hearing reports of a rise in suspected cases of elder abuse in England, but I’m not sure any of them accurately do my feelings justice.

What I cannot, have never been able to, and will never be able to comprehend is what motivates anyone to commit such abuse. Of course you could equally argue the case for the abuse of children, women, the disabled and indeed any person, or any animal, in a vulnerable position – it is never, ever justifiable, and the perpetrators should be held to account for their actions.

Why we have a rise in possible cases of elder abuse is, I fear, about more than just a growing older population or the opportunism some may see in that. I would suggest it has as much to do with the societal approach to ageing, mostly because I see and hear so much in everyday practice that constitutes the foundations of elder abuse. The demeaning of older people, the view that they are a drain on resources, complaints that they are a sector of society that doesn’t ‘contribute’ and that they are simply ‘in the way’.

One of the great arguments against legalising euthanasia is the concern that it would lead to many older people being pressured into ending their lives simply because they are at a stage of life when they need more from ‘the system’ than they are currently putting in. This of course conveniently ignores all the years they did ‘put in’, worked hard and contributed to the defence and prosperity of the nation, not to mention parenting and grand-parenting the younger generations we have now.

In our desire to measure so much in monetary terms, we lose sight of the priceless contribution that our older generations bring to their communities – their wisdom, their experiences, their link to our past, their guidance in the present, and their observations on our future. It may be really simple stuff, but it is incredibly important if we are ever to regain the community spirit that we’ve lost, and to teach our younger generations about humility and respect.

I was bought up within an environment that steadfastly instilled in me respect for my elders. Perhaps this was because my parents were older when they had me (my mum was 40), or because we had strong ties with older relatives throughout my childhood (including the great sadness of my grandmother passing away). Or maybe it’s a simple case of engendering a system of values – to speak when you are spoken to and for children to be seen and not heard (my dad’s favourite).

It probably sounds really old-fashioned, but it worked. Knowing your place as a child within your family means that as an adult you have a grounding that no amount of money can buy. I’m a staunch defender of our elders not because my dad lived with dementia for 19 years and became one of those very vulnerable older people, but because my mum and dad taught me about the value of generations and the place of each generation within the overall tapestry of life.

We will all be old one day if good health prevails upon us, and how do we hope to be treated? As a piece of dirt on a younger person’s shoe, or as a valued and respected member of the community? Moreover, for anyone with children, how do you want them to be treated when they get older? Would you be prepared to tolerate them being neglected or physically or mentally abused simple because they cannot fight back?

Ultimately the point about elder abuse is that it could happen to any of us. It isn’t something that only happens to other people. None of us know what care and support needs we may have as we grow older. We may hope to never rely on other people, either within our own family or professionals who are otherwise strangers, but we just don’t know.

Amongst the majority of wonderful care that my father received, he was subjected to treatment which in my mind was undoubtedly abusive, a view backed up by doctors when he was admitted to hospital with aspiration pneumonia (he had aspirated on his own vomit five times) and pressure sores. My dad became the subject of a safeguarding order, and that was despite having an actively involved family who tried to stop the dreadful treatment meted out to him. He never fully recovered and passed away four weeks later.

We know from the scandals at Mid Staffs and other hospital Trusts that abuse isn’t just confined to care homes, and the exposé TV documentaries on bad care only highlight certain individual organisations.  I don’t believe that the cases of abuse in people’s own homes that hit the headlines tell the whole story either. My greatest fear is the abuse we don’t hear about; the people who are in pain, soiled, sworn at, neglected or isolated. The people who are fearful of having enough money to pay their bills because someone has conned them. The people who are being told they are worthless and should just die.

Every single one of those people needs us. They need strong voices to highlight their plight, a person to talk to who will help them, effective whistleblowing procedures, a robust system of regulation from CQC to ensure that they are safe, well cared for and happy, and from everyone who lives in their community, respect. It costs nothing, but if it was engendered within all of us, elder abuse and indeed all forms of abuse would never exist.

Until next time...

You can follow me on Twitter: @bethyb1886

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UK readers can get more information on Elder Abuse from Action on Elder Abuse: http://www.elderabuse.org.uk/ or call the Age UK helpline: 0800 169 6565

Risk verses reward

I’m not quite sure when it happened, but it seems that wrapping human beings up in cotton wool has become a habit that many individuals and organisations are struggling to get out of. Prime candidates for this approach are anyone who is older and considered to be vulnerable through their health or circumstances. For anyone who falls into this category, the cotton wool approach is likely to become the standard response to ‘caring’ for you.

In the UK, and I’m sure further afield too, we have become very risk adverse. Since just about everything in life has some risk attached to it, it seems that a return to the womb may be the only option to ensure we remain truly safe. With reverse births yet to be pioneered, however, perhaps it is worth proposing an alternative approach – let’s put risk back into living, mainly because life without it really isn’t life at all.

I’m all for ensuring that people with frailties are cared for with due recognition of what is making them more fragile, but risk aversion has gone too far. In many health and care settings, people are expected to remain seated or in bed because of the risk of falls, even though many are capable of being more mobile and would benefit from being so, not least in reducing the instances of pressure sores and infections.

I’ve seen food and drinks left out of reach of people until they are cold, simply because of the risk that these items could prove to be too warm to consume. Personally I am not a fan of cold tea or coffee, so taking this approach with me certainly wouldn’t encourage me to keep hydrated. Doors to the outside are kept locked because of the risks associated with going outside – getting burnt in the sun, catching a chill in the cooler weather or getting wet, despite the fact that sun cream and clothing are readily available to prevent all of these eventualities.

You can take it further too. Banning animal therapy because of the risk of spreading diseases. Avoiding arts and crafts because of the risk that paint or other substances could be ingested. Preventing someone from making their own drink or preparing a simple meal because of the risk that they might burn or cut themselves. Banning gardening in case someone over-stretches themselves with a task, or eats something they shouldn’t. Only allowing people to bath or shower when absolutely necessary because of the risk of them slipping when they are wet and soapy.

The list is endless, the point is that taking away risk means basically condemning someone who has needs, capabilities, wants and desires to a vegetative state that isn’t of their making. I have written previously about the need we all have for a sense of achievement, but this can only come from allowing us some risk in our lives. Letting people do as much as they are able to, and supporting them to excel and potentially push themselves even further, can be frightening but also very rewarding for them and for the professionals caring for them when they do something that they were never considered able to do.

The compromise is to manage risk. You wouldn’t necessarily help someone with a heart condition to go bungee jumping, but you could help them to go outside and sit in a swing in the sunshine. You would be irresponsible to leave a person with advancing dementia alone in a kitchen with numerous safety hazards, but you could be there with them and help them to make themselves tea and toast for breakfast. Indeed many activities that are considered risky can have their risk reduced through supervision and assistance.

Allowing the people we care for and love to have some risk in their life isn’t easy. We want to keep them safe, protecting them from all harm or potential for pain or upset. But it can never be considered good practice to become so risk adverse that you order those in your care to remain seated or in bed, thus condemning them to losing the use of their legs. Many people become more unsteady on their feet in later life, and especially when they are living with dementia, but numerous mobility aids exists to support someone to move around, and certainly in my dad’s case, items like hip protectors were also very helpful.

Sometimes I think care providers lose bravery. Away from their jobs, they can still go and have adventures and try new, exciting and sometimes scary things. It’s easy to forget that those needing their care are no different in wanting that feeling of the wind in their hair, the taste on their lips or the smile that comes from achievement. We hate the idea of losing our own independence, but by become risk adverse in our professional lives, we automatically deny the opportunity to experience the unexpected to those we are charged with caring for.

So next time you see risk, make sure you are also seeing the person. Ask yourself these questions:

1. Are you really protecting the person, or are you actually more concerned about protecting yourself? 
2. Are you guilty of seeing too many situations as risky, when in actual fact the risk is far more minimal than you realise, or could be virtually eliminated? 
3. Can you find a way to enable someone you are supporting to do something that they want to do rather than just dismissing it as too risky?
4. Finally, can you build more proactive risk taking into the daily life of the people you support so that they are actually living and not just waiting to die? 

Until next time...

You can follow me on Twitter: @bethyb1886

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