rejection...but not mine!

Daniel called me Saturday. Michigan State University turned down his application. He called not only to inform me of this, but to brainstorm ideas and get my opinion on how to proceed. In other words, he hasn't given up hope! The tone of his voice was light and eager: If I hadn't heard him say the contrary, I would've thought he'd been accepted!
It broke my heart to realize he was experiencing this rejection and I couldn't take it from him. I'm starting to see that this will last my lifetime-feeling pain for my children and wanting to carry it for them. They'll be 60 years old-I'll be in a bungalow with my cats and paint brushes- and I'll still want to pull their pain and disappointment from them and carry it myself!
Yet, Daniel is proving beautifully resilient and quite fine without my arms to carry him~
Perhaps this resilience and positive, forward looking mentality is my carrying him. If we are to look at our children and assess from where personality traits are born, Daniel's positive attitude would be attributed to my gene pool. His ability to look through loss to opportunity is grown from the Baldwin part of his brain power! So in this perhaps I can say I am carrying his pain-helping him to move through the disappointment. Some of the best things in my life have grown from loss and rejection. They have not ended in the pain of them, they've thrived in the potential they create for growth in new opportunities.
And now it's time for my children to make these realizations and grow from their own pain. I pray I have been the model in which they can identify peace and opportunity in their difficulties. Even a little excitement in it; knowing that the rejection is just making room for something bigger. As it has been for me. Always look forward Daniel! in love. trish
earth is crammed with heaven.

packages

Tell me please, have you had in your life a package so beautiful, so tantalizing, so enticing that you spent days, weeks-heaven forbid-months, imagining the glory it must contain within? For, how could such a perfectly wrapped package possible hold anything but the most scrumptious, enlivening, richness on the inside as well?! And yet, once open the contents are uninspired, ill-matched trinkets that soon tarnish all the tantalizing wrapping that held so much promise and intrigue.

Or, perhaps you tell just the opposite: That your packages have all been wrapped in plain paper; boring grocery store gift wrap that blends into the background and is nearly unnoticable. Yet, on the inside, if time is taken to open these plain wrapper gifts, you discover that the contents are glorious; a wonderful surprise of synchronized harmony and perfectly placed parcels.

Is there a place, a time, a package that comes together? The wrapping beautiful, enticing beyond imagination and once open, the contents more wondrously harmonious than could've possibly been dreamt?

Tell me, does it exist? If one is working toward creating the best packaging for themself while honing the contents to meet the delicious expectations of the recipient, can the gift exchange occur?

Perhaps we just have to continue to open them all. No hesitations. No limitations. Until we receive a glorious one and find equally wonderful interior to match :) in love. trish!

contents perfected. Just right.

prayers to perseverance

Sometimes the best we can do is whisper a prayer and hold on.
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I need to hear it. The arguing-the jabs of sibling rivalry-the commanding claims of big brother superiority. Oh, I need to hear it.
But for now, this quiet. Peaceful at times, in some manifestations. Currently-deeply resonating and achingly absent.
My blessing's in discord: I need to hear it. Bring on the noisome brawling dear Lord. Give me my peace. ____________________________________________________________________

Hope springs eternal. Where God closes one door...
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My self leveling state of being, of living, has had the plug pulled and spills haphazardly around the ticking of my minutes. Patch work has been performed and holds, provisionally, fast. A new life level is needed. A new 'normal' defined. A new 'trish is....'
The absence that in its infant days was a 24 carat gold wrapped gift full of discovery and wonder has become a burdensome anxiety and need. The tender pain of life changes is compiling much too quickly in this all at once of my summer. Minutely controlled breaths, exhaling, inhaling, from my first waking moment through to my final nightly sigh hold the patch fast.
Definitively clinging to 'To Dos' and walking with my faith forward. Facing the quiet, the compiling, the sometimes hollow anguish, with regulated resolve. Plundering forward until it all makes sense. Stepping where the road leads until the light illuminates. 200 ft Lord God. Keep my walking. in love. trish
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Sometimes miracles occur only when you jump.