Owner's manual (Thanks Molly)

Thanks Molly for sharing, do you have to be pregnant to enjoy this?:

a product information guide and limited warranty
for new parents
( found this in an old edition of fit pregnancy mag)

congratulations!

you are the proud parents of a 2007/2008 model child. your offspring has been issued a social security number for registration purposes. please present this number when product needs servicing. to identify make and model, locate adapter between lower appendages. if adapter is female (xx), you have a beautiful baby girl. if adapter is male (xy), a bouncing baby boy is yours. warning for owners of xx model! beautiful is a relative term.
warning for owners of xy model! do not attempt to actually bounce baby.

packaging

baby comes wrapped in protective coating. do not sign for delivery if this layer is missing or appears to have been tampered with. all extraneous material, including placenta, is not reusable and must be properly disposed of.
a fuel line (ubc) connects model to host unit. only a licensed representative should disconnect cord. product should operate as a cordless unit for the duration of its lifetime. batteries should not be inserted into baby.

warnings
do not use baby to block heating or cooling vents.
do not store foreign objects in baby's openings.
do not attempt to fold or compress baby into small spaces.

helpful hints

*gently jiggling baby in an up/down motion patting on spine can remove air bubbles.
*for the first six months, power source can be sustained with fda-approved formula (not included) or unpasteurized calcium and vitamin d source provided by mother unit.
*when programing and communicating with baby, exaggerate and articulating language with movement, as when talking with a foreigner, is recommended.
*baby will not become self-cleaning for at least two years. it is recommended that porous surface be wiped at least twice a day and whenever leakage occurs. unit may be lubricated using baby lotion, diaper cream or other nontoxic solvent.

trouble shooting
problem baby won't shut down.
try producing melodic and somniferous sound waves and reposition unit using a pendulum motion.
problem baby leaks and discharges.
try changing vacuum-sealed disposal bag (not included)
problem baby is not desired make and model.
try living with this common problem. do not try to change gender of model by attaching or removing x or y parts.
problem baby does not resemble father unit.
try calling local service center for confirmation of compatible programming code. or skip previous step and get over it.

warranty and limitations of liability
warranty for full return will terminate at the end of one year. after which time resale and relocation become difficult. owner is responsible for indirect, special, incidental and consequential damages caused by the above mentioned under any legal authority, including but not limited to damage to public and/or private property, havoc wreaked on marriage, and lost profits, youth hair, leisure time and sanity. owner will cover all costs of damage to and maintenance of data programmed and stored in system of processor until expiration date of eighteen (18) years despite products individual claims of autonomy.

Summer adventures

I was the camp director for our ward this year and we had such a great girls camp. It was great to get away from work for a few days and laugh and giggle all the day long. I have to admit, being 7 months pregnant and in the heat all day, sleeping in a tent was a bit uncomfortable, but the pros outweighed the cons and everything turned out great! Here was our pre-camp hike, a 5 mile jaunt in which the most common phrase on the hike was, "can we just turn around now and count is as 5 miles?" Such overachivers, I guess I have to try to remember what life is like when you're 14 years old.
Eddy came up one day to teach first aid to the girls and he was teaching how to move someone when they're injured. He jumped in and let them carry him around for practice. I don't know who was loving it more, the girls, or Eddy!





We had a terrific 4th of July in Bear Lake with the fam, just enjoying our freedoms and spending some quality time in the crystal blue water. I love this picture of Mike and Eddy, they were making the top bunk, as if Eddy isn't tall enough to reach it himself! Love it! We had some great water and I got really jealous of all the fun ski and wakeboard rides that were taken, but still had a great time! We watched the fireworks at Sweetwater, it was no Jackson Hole show, but it was fun nonetheless. Speaking of, we were supposed to be running the river in Jackson that weekend, but Eddy decided the river flowing at its peak and a pregnant lady don't mix.