Holiday Haiku's... not

To celebrate the end of the year, here are some Haiku's. I hope they make you feel very warm and fuzzy. Or something.

Next Stop Rehab

A lesson I've learned

No matter how much I drink

They keep making more

Too Dumb To Die, Too Old To Rock N Roll

I wear my punk shit

And pummel my bass guitar

Let's laugh at grampa

It Ain't Pretty

Look in the mirror

What the hell happened to me

Time to get wasted

Mop needed in room 219

The guns in my mouth

Last thought as I pull trigger

Who will clean the mess

A lesson from our elders

Hank Williams, James Dean

Had the good sense to die young

Mick Jagger? Not so much

And... have you downloaded the covers collection yet? It's right below this post.

More Haiku For The New World

Well, fellow babies, it's been a while since I have pleasured myself (and hopefully you) with some Haiku. Have at it.

Fox News
Hello Teabaggers
Politics Now, But in porn
Means balls on the chin

US Magazine
Stars, they're just like us
They eat! And throw out their trash!
Except they have jobs

Ambien
A magic white pill
Ate one and went for a drive
Oops, I wrecked my car

Hash Pipe
My friend hates Weezer
I dared him to sing a song
I got to play bass

Trying To Eat Where Other's Crapped
Thought I was flirting
But it was my friend's ex-wife
Beer goggles were on

This Ain't Red Rocks

I got hooked up with U2 tix for Giants Stadium and it even includes an open bar. Not quite an acolyte of the band, but they're certainly a guaranteed good time in concert. Could even venture that they are a transcedent experience. It's quite a treat to be able to lose yourself in a shared feeling. . First saw em in the early 80's before Bono turned into Jesus junior. In fact, a long time ago, in a hairstyle far far away, I sported the same mullet as Bono and even drew quite a few comparisons. It never got me laid, though.

So in honor of the show, here's a poem:

I saw Bono in my grilled cheese
I saw Bono in the chrome of a 57 T-Bird
I saw Bono in the tea leaves in my cup
I saw Bono in my mirror
I saw Bono in my mirror
I saw Bono in my mirror
I saw Bono in an old tortilla
I saw Bono healing the sick
I saw Bono in the background of Black Sabbath’s first album cover
I saw Bono in my alphabet soup
I saw Bono in a cumulous cloud
I saw Bono in the hearts and minds of all
I saw Bono in my mirror

Toonage:

U2 - Glad To See You Go - (Ramones cover - live Cork Ireland 10-5-79)

U2 - I Will Follow (live London 1982)

U2 - I Remember You (Ramones cover - 12-5-00 NYC)

U2 - Unknown Caller (live Paris 7-11-09)

My Poem For This Extended Weekend

Life is pain.
What's the point of going on?
Holy shit, look at the tits on that chick

Introducing Nazz Whitman (or is that Nazz Longfellow?)

A friend of mine informed me that she is a "published poet". I am proud of her. However, I cannot tolerate anyone being more successful than I am. And, technically, once this becomes a live post, I am published as well.

So I humbly offer...

The Poetry Of Nazz Nomad:

ZOSO

on the 7:24 listening to Stairway To Heaven
too many beers for daylight
Robert Plant is really old
and it makes me wonder.
---------------------------------------------------------

Of A Feather

pigeons are vermin.
rats with wings.
just like me.

---------------------------------------------------------

Neighbor

sitting on a train
I could put my headphones on
but
I would rather listen to you
talking about your boyfriend.
slut.
---------------------------------------------------------

Twitter

Who cares if you washed your clothes
And if people did care
what does that say
About your laundry?
---------------------------------------------------------

Stars...they're just like us!

star jones is 47
I THOUGHT THAT MEANT 47 STONE!
it didn't ...
it was her age
I don't care, she's still fat.