I Am My Grandparents

Remember when taking pharms (I guess the kids call em “meds”now) was for recreation?

I have distant memories of being in my grandparents house and rifling through their medicine cabinets and grabbing handfuls of every drug on the shelves. When I got back home, me and my buddy Nick went through his mom’s PDR and tried to match up as many pills as we could with the pictures. The ones we couldn’t figure out, we tested on our older friend Ernesto. It was OK- he had been in the Navy, so we figured nothing could kill him.

Nowadays a walk through MY legally prescribed stash makes Elvis’s Dr. Nick period seem like Candyland. Lesseeee… we find upon quick scan… the generics for: Valium, Vicodin, Klonipon, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Ambien, Percoset. That doesn’t include the various cold pills, decongestants, aspirins, etc. Hmm-= nothing for menopause here- I guess I have a few years for that.

 I checked with my much saner brother- and HE’s got Lipitor and three of four other blood sugar & cholesterol things in his cab.

To say that we gather and suck at the teat of big Pharma would be an understatement.

Christ- what the hell has happened to me?

Yesterday was a leisurely Sunday football day and looking back- 2 Valiums, a Zoloft, 6 Advil because my back was sore, and 2 ambiens for beddy time plus a 6 pack of Rolling Rock and a couple of tumbler fulls of Vodka.

Meds- they’re not just for breakfast anymore.

There's A Part That's Not Screwed On

Do those pills make you hallucinate that your wife is in front of you?




 Does this syringe make me look thin?


 

Don't Go Looking For It, It's Not There Anymore


 
 This Was All A Dream

Diminishing Returns

What could you do with $4000? Probably alot. You know what I do with it? I give it to the New York Metropolitan Transit Authority every year for the privilege of riding their public commuting system. Did I mention that my 35 mile commute takes me three and a half hours round trip every day? And did I mention that they are increasing rates and decreasing service?

Every day, the reasons for living in New York diminish. I can't wait to leave.

Fuck it.

It's Baseball Season!

The Nomad clan travelled to the opening of the New York Mets new Citifield (aka- Tax Payers Field- as we just gave Citibank billions of dollars) to take in the opening. Here are some pictures. It's a beautiful stadium. However, what a waste of money!

The view of the new Citifield from the ruins of the old Shea Stadium

A shot from the first level.

A shot from the Upper Deck. Still a great view.

Toonage:
Mc5 - Train Music
Jimmy Rodgers - Train Whistle Blues
New York Dolls - Subway Train
White Stripes - Stop Breakin' Down



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Now playing: D.O.A. - Slumlord
via FoxyTunes

Dancing To The Organ Grinder

As a corporate executive whore, I have attained a certain level of assumed expertise in my chosen industry. There have been some nice awards and recognition, which have undoubtedly resulted in continued employment; if not the financial rewards that I should have received by this point.

However, in these uncertain times, in which my industry has been hit especially hard, employment is a very, very, very good thing.

The trade-off is that occasionally I have to involve myself in being interviewed for trade magazines, and participate in conference panels. These events go against my inherent anti-social, unfriendly and negative attitudes.

Most of my discomfort is due to the old "self doubt" gremlin, whispering in my ear. The "emperor has no clothes" feeling, that I'll be exposed for the fraud that deep down, I know I am.

To wit:

A few months back, I sat on a panel of industry leaders (I was the joker in the deck) for the Keynote Address at a conference and spoke about my business.

Here's some advice: It's probably not a good idea to use the term "corporate overlord" when speaking to a group of, well, corporate overlords.

While some at my place of business might feel that I am Mr. Executive Douchebag; I was blown away and exposed as a little twerp. I am pretty sure that the guy sitting next to me was wearing a suit that cost more than my car did. These guys were movers and shakers, and I was pretty much shaking the whole time.

It was an extremely long 90 minutes; and I noticed in the Q & A that no one was askin' me anything! Or coming up to me afterward. The moderater thanked me and told me I did a fine job. Yeah. Sure.

The really scary thing is that I keep getting invited to speak at these things!

So, today, I have another one to do. I'm on a panel with a couple of people that can run rings around me in knowledge. They'll be a couple of hundred people in attendence. I am expecting a disaster.

But you know what? I am totally relaxed about this one. It might be the certainty that, at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter if I crap the bed or not. Or, I might FINALLY realize that I might be a moron, but that doesn't neccessarily mean that everyone else in my field isn't a moron either.

We're in such trouble in our industry, that we're all holding on for dear life.

I'll do my shpiel, it'll be over, and I won't look back on it.

I hope!

Toonage:

New York Dolls - Don't Start Me Talkin'

Lagwagon - A Feedbag Of Truckstop Poetry

Ween - What Deaner Was Talking About

New Bomb Turks - Bullish On Bullshit

Law Of The Jungle

Nazz jr is a good natured kid. However, when provoked, he's got quite a temper.

As he is now in double digits, and starting a new school next year, I have been ruminating on teaching him how to fight.

While I do not advocate violence, I think it's important for a kid to know how to defend himself. I was a small kid and got picked on (at least till I hit puberty). Despite my dad's best attempts at sending me to Karate school and Boxing gyms, I never had it in my heart to fight back...unless I was really messed with. Than the eyeballs would roll back and I would go for the throat. But that wasn't very frequent. I would have been a happier kid had I the balls to respond violently before that "all of nothing" rage kicked in.

Once I hit 16, i was big enough that no one was messing with me. Over the years (largely thanks to Punk Rock and Alcohol), I've had my share of mosh pit hijinks and pre/post minor altercations; but only a few (thankfully) real knock down drag outs.
But the confidence that I don't have to go running from them should they present themselves has made me a lot more secure.

This mindset has possibly led to more trouble than if I would have remained more passive. But on the other hand, the aggressiveness might have helped me in business as well as personally.

So, my dilemma is whether I should teach the kid some martial arts so he is prepared for the inevitable schoolyard brouhaha, or to let him just work it out himself.


Toonage:
New York Dolls - Stranded In The Jungle
Bob Dylan w/ Tom Petty - It's Alright Ma (live 1986)
Martha and The Vandellas - Love (makes me do foolish things)
Elvis Costello - In The Ghetto








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Now playing: U2 - Moment Of Surrender
via FoxyTunes

An Idiots' Guide To Backyard Fun

Out in suburbia, it was time to embark upon the lawn work and start up the grill.

Here's some gardening advice. If you you are going to use a weed wacker, don't do it barefoot. Because I did and when the wire that decapitates weeds, twigs and branches comes into contact with an unclod appendage, much pain and blood results.

And when firing up the propane grill, it's always a good idea to check to make sure the hoses are still in good shape. Which, I did not do. And which resulted in the entire grill being engulfed in flame. Luckily the propane tank didn't blow, but I will be at the Home Depot this weekend buying another grill. If anyone is interested in a "modern art" sculpture of melted plastic and metal, well, c'mon over.

Toonage:
The Dils - Blow Up
NOFX - Benny Got Blowed Up
Wilco - Summer Teeth
New York Dolls - On Fire
Sharon Jones & The Dap Kings

A Caterwaul of Sound

plus

equals

Tonight should be pretty fun. Me and the droogs are getting together for an old fashioned jam session. And by jam, I mean loud and sloppy renditions of some of our favorites. The addition of vodka and beer and who knows what else should add to the festivities, if not the musicianship!

But, hey, it's Punk Rawk... so the intoxicants are a requirement!

For those of you playing at home, here's some of the the songs we'll be mangling!

Toonage:

New York Dolls - Stranded In The Jungle (live)

Johnny Thunders - Too Much Junkie Business (live)

Clutch - Big News

Ramones - The KKK Took My Baby Away (live)

Television - See No Evil

Modern Lovers - Roadrunner

Mc5 - Kick Out The Jams