A Case for Kindness

I know what I want to say... just not sure how to say it right...here goes:

WHY BE KIND?

I would like to offer a logical reason why it's imperative for us to be kind to one another.

Kindness is a very fluid thing that can take on all sorts of shapes, methods, and ways.  I can comfort someone and that's kindness.  Give a needy person some food, give an encouraging word to another, or pay someone's way through college.  All these are acts of kindness.  All these are forms of kindness or forms of charity.  Interestingly, one way that kindness can manifest is via money.  If I don't know what mode of kindness is best to do for someone -- I don't know if they need a kind word, or new shoes, or whatever, then I can just use a common denominator which is money and give them charity money.  With money the person can go and buy most things (therapy session, food, whatever).

THE MONEY CONNECTION

Money is a strong manifestation of kindness.  But it's the one who's doing the giving who is being kind.  The giver of the money is the one who will be blessed.  Putting out a product to the world is also a kindness.

So if people don't like you, they will not be kind to you.  Or, even worse, if people don't like you, they may still be kind because they realize that the kindness is for them, but they may not want anything from your hands -- except maybe what they just gave you. 

THE TRAP

I have noticed and have learned from our great shepherds (May their memories be a blessing for us!) that in America especially, people do not want us to be producers.  They want us to be consumers -- to give away our kindness -- our money -- to work and earn kindness/money and give that away.   And give it away to those who don't like us, don't appreciate us, and would not give us an opportunity if we wanted.   But they don't want to receive products from us -- straight from our guts.  Things we create.  Businesses we begin.  They don't want us to give -- to partake in the blessing of kindness. And without kindness we get no money, no wealth blessings.  They would rather colonize a Black nation and suck the wealth out as if they were the givers.  Even many black folks don't want to participate in the kindness exchange with other Black folks.

So how do we make it in a system that is rigged for us to not be providers, producers or givers and to only consume (like saying thank you, oh, thank you forever and feeling indebted always)?

KINDNESS IS THE ANSWER

We have to use our wisdom and understanding to know that we only have ourselves right now.  We need to be kind to each other -- in other words, we need to give money to each other.  There is a campaign out there called Buy Black.  That is an awesome start.  But I want us to understand why we need to buy black and not just do it while the sun is shining.  If we give kindness to each other, that will bring wealth and yes, money as well.

Kindness comes in many forms.  I once saw a post on Facebook about a million dollar sandal.  Million dollar sandal!  It had carvings of animals on the strap, intricate jewelry, etc.  But showcasing the sandal was a Black person.  The only comments that post had was how ashy the feet was, how the toe nail was badly clipped. Nothing about the intricacies of the sandal.  Nothing about anything except criticism of the black guy's foot.   It was a sad sign.  There was zero kindness given, zero grace for that person.  Kindness is looking at someone with a positive eye.  We don't have to overlook a wrong, but be judicious in what we do with it.  Same goes with the "smDh" who has a damned head? And referring to one another as "yo a$$" -- why the backside?  Why the side of judgement? If not out of true love, then out of the wisdom of understanding that without the exchange of kindness we remain far from wealth and yet more blessings that await us.

THE STARVING ARTIST

And then you have the starving artist syndrome.  The one who does want to produce and does! But nothing seems to work.  They are starving and still trying to give of their kindness, sell their creation -- something that they made straight from their heart.  What now?  What is missing?

JUSTICE

The flipside of all this kindness is to keep it real.  To be truthful no matter how much it hurts.  And the truth is that probably nobody deserves an act of kindness.  Everyone has fallen short of being perfect and is probably deserving of punishment -- or at least no kindness.

That is a righteous way of looking at things. It's just.  But do we need justice at this point?  Yes!! We do.  As things stand right now there is no justice.  We see our fellow getting killed daily -- by the police at that!  There is no one to turn to.  No one to call.  What used to be the court is no longer a place of justice.  The media is the new court system.  And the media has never found us innocent -- always guilty.  The actual court system seems more like a farce or a ritual to keep everyone calm. 

But we shouldn't wait for criminals to give us a court system.  We should create a court system with our elders for ourselves and agree to abide by those rules.  We judge ourselves so that we not be judged Above.

With the combination of Truth and Justice, we will feel truly free and confident to move forward.  There should be no more doubt of undeservedness.  No more secret fear that we shouldn't have something or shouldn’t become something.  No question that we ought to move forward.

GRACE

I believe conviction, perseverance and determination is what will give us the grace that's needed for people to be receptive to gifts of kindness.  The giver themselves have to truly believe that what they have to offer is something so valuable that the world may crash if it's not given!  Then they won't be shy or have to worry about self-confidence because it will be a matter of urgency.

A MATTER OF URGENCY

And I want to tell you that what you have to offer is a matter of urgency.  We need black doctors, plumbers, carpenters, computer programmers, import/exporter everything...literally everything to create a functioning Black world.  If you close your eyes and imagine a functioning Black world how big would that world be?  To me it seems very vast and empty --where are the bank owners?  The water purifying companies?  The airlines?  Who is connecting to Afro-Cuba?  Who is connecting to Afro-Brazil?  To Afro-Asians (assuming they have embraced their Africaness) we need more people to populate it and we should give their businesses patronage -We are our economy.  May we be vessels for the Creator to bring goodness for our people.

Be kind.

Putti Village 2000

Please let me know if you are game!!

Let's help the Abayudaya in Uganda.

Thanks so much!!!

****UPDATE:  WE HAVE 20% THE GOAL ALREADY*** people are just pledging, no one is giving yet.

The Date, White vs Blacks, And BM vs BW

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I have a beautiful friend. She's a BW and dating. Recently, she dated a guy (white guy) who was pretty interesting. Somehow the guy turned the dating into an armchair psychiatric appointment. My friend, let's call her Liza, was so driven up the wall by this guy. Always, the guy dominated the date and kept asking my friend to be more open, more expressive. Date after date, it was more of the same. Finally, I put my big nose into her affair and told her that perhaps its better if they stopped seeing each other.

And so they did.

Time past and I met my friend again. We got into the topic of 'that guy', let's call him Motty. Turns out Motty has been emailing her. I was surprised and said surely she didn't write back. Even more surprising was her answer. She said she still had feelings for him! Still?! I didn't even know she had had feelings for him. Shows how right I was to stick my nose into somebody else's business.

I must admit good things did come out of their dating. One was that she actually DID become more in touch with her own feelings. She was able to confront her father who had been quite mean to her when she was young. She was able to realize her denial about her shyness towards men in general. So much came out after they had dated that she was almost a new, better person.

This made me think of white folks and black folks in general. Then I backtracked and starting thinking about black and white.

Then backtracked some more and thought of the way God made this world, with all its polarizations: up and down; left and right; black and white; good and evil; etc.

Then I backtracked once again and thought about God Himself. In the end of the day, all is God, all is one. We just can't see it here. Here we see the polarized world. At least, we are able to realize that one polarized side can not exist without the other side existing. Many can define "up" as "not down" or they may define "black" as the "absence of white". Basically, there are other ways to define these words, but what I am trying to show is how connected they are, despite their polarization. One side frames out with the other side is -like a picture and a picture frame.

Or like the algebraic equation of X, and (1-X). That was for you, Raw Dawg. lol.

Speaking of black and white. As usual, in Judaism, there are lots of associations to these colors. For example, blackness is associated with GEVUROT -complexity, separation, activity, arousal, and gevurah (from the sefirot. which means strength, restrain, harshness, severity, justice). Whereas whiteness is associated with HASSADIM which is associated with CHESSED which means simplicity, unifying and chessed (from the sefirot. which means kindness and giving).

Of course, coming from America, I couldn't help but to think about race. Due to their association with black and possibly the world's subconscious knowledge of GEVUROT, Could this be why many folks hold on to the stereotype that black folks are strong, potent, etc the whole mandingo myth?

And with the whiteness, I know giving can sound very nice -and it is! I am a very giving type but I know, from experience, too much giving can lead to domineering. The giver enjoys giving to person X. Finally, when the giver needs something, the giver begins to feel 'entitled' to it (after all she's given) while person X begins to feel small and incapable by himself. He begins to be beholden, if not resentful, to the giver. If the situation doesn't correct itself it can lead to oppressiveness, or worse SLAVERY!

The whole deal in the universe, it seems, is about figuring out the right balance.

Right now, the black community is struggling with problems such as "why aren't we unified?" "why are BM dissing BW?" "How come we don't have leaders who care?" and the latest, the contemplation of dating outside the race. (is that so new? **blush**).

Churning this business into my thought process of HASSADIM vs GEVUROT, I remember reading someone's description of HASSADIM and GEVUROT. He (Bakst, from the City of Luz website) compared it to fire. The essence of fire would be blackness. GEVUROT. Drop a little bit of HASSADIM into the picture, and then you can see the real fire -flames, red tips of the fire, blue-ish area where its not too hot. All the variety of the fire's color, the heat, etc.

Imagine a raging fire - it tends to separate things by burning it into ashes and the ashes fly away into the sky. Divided, and not unified. Each spark flying off on its own -leaderless, and starts more fires where it lands. All its variation of colors are out for all to see. GEVUROT is simply the name we use to refer to the force in the universe that attempts to separate.

If we wanted to reverse the picture to look at things from HASSADIM's point of view: HASSADIM is simply the name we use to refer to the force in the universe that attempts to unify. And dominate. Think of the Borg from Star Trek ("We are the Borg. Prepare to assimilate"). Or better yet, think of how the world would be If God did not conceal Himself. Everything would truly be a part of Him without illusions.

Anyway, back to the Fire analogy. With HASSADIM, we would only see whiteness. A big white canvass. Add a drop or two of GEVUROT, and things begin to separate! Now you can see the various flames. Red flames relegated to the most heated areas of the fire, blue for the coolest areas, etc.

Then I went back to my friend and her date. It was such a classic problem. Too much HASSADIM reigning and dominating; And not enough "drops" of GEVUROT setting up boundaries or relegating things in its proper places!

more later...