Corliss Randall interview 2008

THE DICK AND WENG SHOW

Corliss Randall discusses her late husband Dick Randall's involvement with For Y'ur Height Only (phone interview with Andrew Leavold, 6th March 2008)

Dick Randall has always been one of those wonderful fringe characters in cult filmdom – a truly eccentric B-film producer in the classic roadshow mould whose marketing hooks and gimmicks created some of the most bizarre genre titles in existence. In a career that straddled three continents and five decades right up until his passing in 1996, he was the High Priest of Hyperbole who conjured up sex films (Black Deep Throat and a whole string of ratty-ended Emanuelle titles), horror films (the Spanish-made Pieces with the classic tag-line “You don’t have to go to Texas for a chainsaw massacre!”), kung fu (exploitative Bruce Lee ripoffs starring Bruce Le, Bruce Li, Dragon Lee, culminating in the granddaddy of all Bruceploitation titles The Clones Of Bruce Lee)… You name the then-popular fad, and you’ll find an idiosyncratic Dick Randall redux. And for the last twenty years of his film career, his wife Corliss was at his side, making deals from a suitcase full of cash, and occasionally while fleeing the country from an overly enthusiastic local official brandishing a pistol.

Dick Randall’s involvement in Weng Weng’s first international film For Y’ur Height Only has always been a mystery to me, and so getting the opportunity to talk to Corliss over the phone from her home in London was a golden moment to fill in some of the missing pieces of the Weng Weng puzzle. We spoke for over an hour about her career behind AND in front of the camera (she appears alongside Bruce Lee in Ninja Strikes Back as a kung-fu kicking reporter billed in the credits as “Chick Norris”!), and the complete transcript will no doubt appear in full on our French friends’ site Nanarland in a few weeks. Meanwhile, here are some of Corliss’ insights into Dick’s working relationship with the one and only Agent 00.

[Major thanks go to Pete Tombs at Mondo Macabro for passing on Corliss’ email address, for the screen captures from his "Wild Wild World Of Dick Randall" documentary on Mondo Macabro’s French Sex Murders DVD, and for his endless support of the Search For Weng Weng project. And of course, many thanks to Corliss for donating her time in an incredibly open and honest discussion on her and her late husband’s careers.]

Corliss: I never saw Dick turn away a bum… He had a wonderful, wonderful heart. He was very brusque on the surface. My husband was very prickly and scary, but once you got to know him, underneath all that he was a sweetheart. He scared everybody on the surface. He was never really “out there” – I’ve always been “out there” – but he was “in there”. He used to write music and everything, wrote a lot of those scripts. He wrote for the Post when he was a young boy, did you know that? And he used to write for Milton Berle.

Andrew: What made you and Dick decide to go to the Philippines?

We got invited by Marcos, because Dick was one of the big film buyers in the area. We got invited to stay at the Imperial Hotel, and I got to go to Marcos’ tailor – I had about four things made!

Before long you were MAKING films in the Philippines.

Yeah, well Dick had the opportunity to do it. I’ll tell you one thing that happened – one day we had a guy, I guess he was second in command to the director, he took one of the those jeepneys and they saw this poor man with a watch on. They took him out into a rice paddy and put a gun to his head and threatened to kill him. Over a watch! It’s a scary place…

Do you remember the moment you became aware of Weng Weng?

He was sitting in Dick’s lap in his office – I have a photo of that somewhere! Weng Weng was a very nice man, very sweet. And the nice thing about it is, Dick really understood the nature of what Weng Weng was all about. And he cherished it. Dick was never interested in the “usual”. The way Dick made his movies, he always took the things that had happened that were important to him, that had some momentum to them, and he’d reinvent it. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn’t, but sometimes it REALLY worked. Weng Weng was so successful, sold around the world. Nobody had ever done that before, had they? That’s far out, isn’t it?

No-one had ever seen a midget James Bond!

The unusualness of it, Dick was really into all that. He was also doing a study at the same time about the Siamese twins who had about fifteen wives between them. He wanted to do that too – Dick was far out.

Dick on the set with Bruce Le (left) and Brad Harris

How did he discover Weng Weng? Was For Y’ur Height Only already finished?

Dick put up money to produce it. He was one of the producers. He bought a territory of the world when they (Peter and Cora Caballes) wanted to produce it.

They made one James Bond knockoff before that called Agent 00 (1981). It was only ever in Tagalog. I guess he would’ve seen that, then decided to sell the next one to the world.

And Dick bought the world. They called him Agent 003 and a half…?

Originally he was called Agent 00, but I’ve seen that on certain posters.

Very nice, huh? If I know Dick, that would have been one of his ideas.

So in return, you got the worldwide rights?

We got a part of the world. He put up $30-$40,000 for America, Europe and everywhere he could sell it.

Do you remember Jim Gaines? He was one of the voices on For Y’ur Height Only. He told me they sat in a dubbing studio for three days drinking beer and pretty much making it up as they went along!

That’s good, isn’t it? It’s more original and more fun.

It takes the film to a surreal new level.

Well that’s what we do before a gig. We have a couple of drinks and get down to the music. It’s magic then, isn’t it?

"Chick Norris" in action! From the Bruce Le-starrer Ninja Strikes Back (1982)

That’s exactly what those guys were doing – they were riffing like crazy.

That’s the magic. That’s what I think artists are about. Did Weng Weng get married?

No. To tell you the truth, I don’t think he ever had a girlfriend. He had the mental age of a ten year old.

Oh, I didn’t know that. I know Dick wasn’t the type of person to take advantage of anybody, so I’m sure Dick was very good to him. I’m sure if he needed anything, Dick would’ve just given it to him.

How many times did you run into Weng?

Only about five or six times, but only with Dick. He was always monopolizing the situation, I was just in the background. I came into the foreground after Dick died out of desperation and loneliness, I decided to go back to my career. Everybody said, “How can you go back to your career so late in life?” I said, “You watch me!” They said, “You’ll never get anything because people don’t take on older…” Guess what? I’ve been singing for eleven years! I haven’t done too bad, have I? I’m singing with Amy Winehouse! Were his brothers small like him?

No, he was special. Imee Marcos (the late President’s daughter) said there was something that radiated from him that made you fall in love with him.

My husband loved him… Dick was never gay, but he liked him enough to put him in his lap.

So he really felt a bizarre connection with Weng?

Yeah, very much so. Dick thought he was adorable, that he was a phenomenon. Dick loved all these phenomena – anything to do with what we humans conceive as “unnatural”. That’s what he went to, ‘cause that’s how he looked at life.

There was an incredible humanity about Weng.

But that’s good, isn’t it? I always believe in this rule: if life doesn’t give you certain things, you will get all these other things. I think life compensates itself.

I totally agree.

Whatever you do in the arts, don’t you think you’re compensating for what you don’t have?

It is a trade-off, but probably against things that aren’t that important. Why wasn’t Dick involved in Weng’s later films? Why did the Caballes go it alone?

They could probably go it alone as it was so successful.

For Y’ur Height Only was, the other two export titles weren’t as successful.

I think Dick would’ve branched into something else. Dick stopped going to the Philippines, and they didn’t offer (the sequels). I think Dick would have done one, if he was successful he would’ve pursued it. But he would’ve covered his costs, made his earnings on it, and then just walked off to do something else. Dick was very much into horror films, with the makers of Friday the 13th. And I think Dick was in England, and the marketplace (for kung fu films) had dried up. At least when we were doing movies, you’d get a territory that was doing something, and then something else. So I think Dick would’ve gone where the money was.

Bruce The Super Hero (1979)

1979 - Bruce The Super Hero (Dragon Films Company/Dragon Films International)

[A Hong Kong production filmed in the Philippines, also released as “Super Hero” and “Bruce The Superhero”; released on French VHS as “Contrat Pour La Mort”]

Director/Producer/Action Director Bruce Le Writer Poon Fan Executive Producer Dick Randall Supervising Producer/Dubbing Supervisor Cheng Leung On Music/Sound Effects Lawrence Chan Cinematography Ho Hak Wai Editor Robert Choi Production Manager Chan Chun Man Planners Lawrence Chan, Ho Hak Wai

Cast Bruce Le (Bruce Cheng), Lito Lapid (Ramon "Rocky" Robledo), Azenith Briones (Marlena Martinez, aka Agent Platinum), Kong To (Mr Kong, also referred to as Mr Kwong), Yang Sze [aka Bolo Yeung] (First Expert: Peter Sze aka Bullkiller), “Chai Ching Tao”/Tao Chang (Second Expert), [uncredited] Tsing Tong Tsai (Mr Lee - also referred to as Mr Ming), Subas Herrero (Martel), Mike Cohen (Don Emicio), Eddie Nicart (Aircraft Hanger Thug), Romy Nario (Failed Assassin), Ernie Ortega (Pole Master)

Review from the 10K Bullets website:

Bruce Chang (Bruce Le) goes to the Philippines after he hears the news of his sister’s death. She was in possession of a Japanese sword that contained a map written to a hidden treasure. The Black Dragon Society will do anything to get that sword. Before her death Chang’s sister gave the key to the safety deposit box where the sword is hidden to a boxer named Rocky Roblado (Lito Lapid). The Black Dragon Society kills Rocky’s father which lead to Rocky joining forces with Chang to find the gold.

There is plenty of action through out and in one scene Bruce Le comes out of the bathroom wearing the trademark yellow jumpsuit. Bruce Le and Lito Lapid make a dynamic duo that rivals Crocket and Tubbs. This film at times is all over the place with many situations being played more for laughs then seriously. Bruce the Super Hero is Bruce Le’s Citizen Kane as he wears several hats in the films production actor, action director, producer and Director. This film may not be a tour de force still it has enough laughs and action to keep things entertaining for the films full eighty eight minutes duration.

William's review from the Many Bruces website:

When his sister is murdered, Bruce Chang (Bruce Le) heads to the Philippines to find out why. It seems she was in possession of a Japanese sword that contains a map to a hidden treasure of gold. Members of the Black Dragon Society attacked her, but not before she gave the key to the safety deposit box where the sword is hidden to a local amateur boxer named Ramon "Rocky" Roblado. A United Nations Intelligence Bureau (!) agent named Marlene manages to track Rocky down and, under the guise of being a reporter, tells him the secret of the gold. After his father is murdered, Rocky teams up with Bruce to find the gold. Meanwhile, the Black Dragon Society, knowing the combination of Bruce and Rocky is a handful, brings in two high profile fighters (Bolo and Kong Do), one who had a past run-in with Bruce that left him with a broken arm and bruised ego. Bruce and Rocky eventually put two and two together and go to the safety deposit box to get the sword/map. Unfortunately, they weren't bright enough to notice they were followed and they lead the villains directly to the gold. Ohhhhh, there's gonna be some fighting!

This is a surprisingly entertaining Bruce Le vehicle. Bruce gets into plenty of fights and seems amazingly intense. While Bruce appears through out the film, Lito Lapid gets equal screen time as Rocky. He is the peanut butter to Bruce Le's jelly. The scene where the two meet is hilarious. Rocky is snooping around Bruce's house and Bruce comes out of the bathroom wearing the trademark yellow jumpsuit. "What are you doing here," he screams as they start fighting. And Lapid is a lot of fun to watch. Playing an amateur boxer, he throws jabs and punches instead of busting out kung fu. At one point in the film, he whips out a handkerchief, ties a knot in the end and starts whipping his opponent with it. Ingenuity stemming from all those towel fights he used to have in the locker room no doubt.

The deadly duo of Bolo and Kang Do is pretty cool too. Bolo is dubbed the "Bull Killer" and a flashback shows why...he kills a bull with a single blow to the head! Kang Do has a past with Bruce. During the final fight, Bruce breaks his arm again, but Kang Do comes running back, revealing his arm has turned into a cobra! Yes, his ARM TURNS INTO A SNAKE! This downright bizarre sequence came out of nowhere and had me floored.

Hardcore kung fu fans will notice this film's plot bears more than a passing resemblance to Jackie Chan's OPERATION CONDOR: ARMOR OF GOD 2. The whole chase to find WW2 gold with a key before the white bad guys do is just too familiar. Then again, maybe they both watched THE TREASURE OF SIERRA MADRE? Nah! Chan rips off Bruce Le...film at 11! But still, Chan missed the boat. His film didn't have a scene like the one here where Marlene goes to meet her boss at a restaurant for a briefing. "Order what ever you want," her boss says. "Can I have fried chicken?" she asks. Few films can lay claim to a line like that now can they?

Review from the Internet Movie Database:

'Bruce The Superhero' features Bruce Lee clone, Bruce Le, who "stars" in and directs the film. Actually, Bruce Le is mostly a supporting player in the film while a more competent Philipino lead actor/martial artist takes charge. Le, the Philipino kickboxer, and their allies must get to hidden WWII gold before the Yakuza and a bunch of different gangsters do. Bolo Yeung(of 'Enter the Dragon' fame) plays one of the gangster's lackeys. In one scene, he "fights" with a decrepit, somewhat benign ox as a stolen Jerry Goldsmith score from 'Star Trek: The Motion Picture' plays over the scene. I almost thought V'Ger was going to come down from the sky and turn Bolo into a "data pattern". This film stinks of gaudy fashions, low production values, grainy filmstock, etc. Still, there's a half-decent fight between Bruce Le and Chiang Tao(who sports a snake hand puppet). Bruce Lee clone, Bruce Le, shows little presence(as usual) in this film. I only recommend this film to hard-core martial-arts cinema fans who have the patience to endure this lackluster cheese-fest.

Review from the High Impact website:

Bruce Lee-clone Bruce Le stars, produced, and directs this HK-Filipino co-production.

When a young woman, Susan Chang is harrassed by the Black Dragons, carriage driver and amateur boxer Rocky Robledo tries to help her, but it is too later. Before she dies, she gives Rocky a key attached to a scarf. He is to give to someone named Bruce, who is actually Susan's brother from Hong Kong.

Double Lightning gang boss Kong meets with Black Dragon Boss Martel. They discuss not only Susan Chang's death, but also the mysterious Hilt of the Samurai, which contains a map that leads to a fortune in treasure. Meanwhile, Bruce has arrives to the Philippines and with the help of his uncle, he begins to investigate the death of his sister. From the moment he steps off the plane, trouble already comes in the form of the Black Dragons.

The United Nations Intelligence Office and Interpol are joining forces to investigate the Black Dragons and the Double Lightning gang. They know that Rocky tries to help Susan the night of her murder and that Bruce has arrived to begin looking into her death. To investigate Rocky, sexy agent Marlena is to go undercover as a news reporter for a sports magazine. Soon, Rocky gets into danger as the Black Dragons have killed his father and even attempted a hit on him. When both fails, Rocky is to meet someone. He gets in a local apartment and finds Bruce. Mistaken for a robber, Bruce and Rocky fight, only to have Bruce's uncle break up the meleé. The two properly meet.

Martel hires two men, Peter Sze and the Bullkiller. Peter is an arch rival of Bruce's, who was defeated by Bruce a long time ago. For Peter, it's not about the money, but vengeance. Meanwhile, Rocky and Marlena are kidnapped only to be saved by a young woman who is actually an Interpol agent infiltrating the Black Dragons. With the help of Bruce, the group find that the key Susan gave Rocky is the key to a safety deposit box that has the Hilt of the Samurai. The group decides to look for the treasure for the sake of the government. However, they have been followed by the Black Dragons and the Double Lightning as well as other factions who have allied with them. Now, our four heroes must fight to stop everyone in their paths.

This is a cheesy HK-Filipino co-production that has Bruce Le, probably one of two Bruce-alikes that actually likes to think he is Bruce when fighting on-screen. Bruce doesn't really pull off any Bruce moves until the ending, but tehre were flaws in the finale. In his fight against Chiang Tao, he is seen with 3 scratches on his stomach. However, after that, the marks are gone!!! And even more cheesy, Chiang leaves but returns with a hand looking like a snake. The supporting cast are comprised of some Hong Kong stars and Filipino stars. Lito Lapid is very fast with his hands. Azenith Briones looks like Bluto from Popeye and does no fighting at all. Bolo Yeung has a short but sweet fight against Le. The fights are all to go for here, but at times, they seemed to flawed. A cheesy chop socky film!!!

The Bottom Line: Bruce the Superhero is a film that defines the word "cheesy". Fights seemed flaw at times, Bruce Le acting like Bruce, and a very cheesy snake hand to top it off. Then again, cheesy isn't all that bad.

Pleasure Island (1980)

1980 – Pleasure Island (company unknown)

[released in 1982; Italian title "Isola del Piacere"]

Director Michel Risaud Screenplay Danielle Gauthier Exective Producer Dick Randall Producers Phillippe Donation, Denise Lascene Cinematography Jean-Jacques Lenoy Editors Jean-Jacques Lenoy, Dario DeSantis Assistant Editor Olga Tanferna

Cast Mike Monty, Nadine Roussial, Dominique Martin, Laura Santos, Nelly Garcia, Brian Smith, Michel Montague, George Gynesis, Pierre Puget, Don Gordon [Bell], David DeMartin, Romano Velasquez, Russell O'Brien, Angie Jagunos, Virginia Gonzales

Invaders Of The Lost Gold (1981)

1981 - Invaders Of The Lost Gold (production company unlisted in credits)

[also released as Horror Safari, Greed, Soldner Des Todes, Safari Cannibale, Safari Senza Ritorno]

Director Alan Birkinshaw Producer Dick Randall Story Dick Randall, Bill James Screenplay Bill James, Alan Birkinshaw Music Francesco De Masi Cinematography Roberto Forges [Davanzati] Editor Roger Crook Art Director “Art Nicado”/Ruben Arthur Nicdao Makeup Cecille Baun Assistant Director Ulysses Formanes Stills Alessandro Carlotto Continuity Claire Felicen Location Manager Jim Gaines Project Coordinator Bill James Dubbing Editor Peter Goddard Special Effects Supervisor Eddie Ayay Production Manager K. Angus Robertson

Invaders Of The Lost Gold director Alan Birkinshaw

Cast Stuart Whitman (Mark Forrest), Edmund Purdom (Rex Larson), Woody Strode (Cal), Harold Sakata (Tobachi), Laura Gemser (Maria), Glynis Barber (Janice Jefferson), David De Martyn (Douglas Jefferson), Mike Cohen (Boat Captain), Junix Nocian (Fernando), [uncredited] Protacio Dee (Col. Susumo Yakuchi)

Fred Adelman's review from the Critical Condition website:

This film, originally titled HORROR SAFARI, is one of those films that's so bad it's good. It starts out during the end of World War II, where a small troop of Japanese soldiers are carrying 10 crates of gold for the war effort through the jungles of the Philippines, They are attacked by a group of headhunters, and the Japs hide the gold in a cave where only three of them survive to escape. The rest end up as heads on sticks. 36 years later, Edmond Purdom finds out about the lost gold and tries to get the three elderly Japenese survivors to help him find it. The first one is shot and killed by Purdom when he refuses to co-operate and the second one commits hara-kiri when he finds out that his commanding officer was killed. Purdom convinces the third (Harold "Odd Job" Sakata, in one of his final film performances) to help him find the gold for a 25% cut. Purdom hires arch enemy Stuart Whitman to help him on his quest since he is the best jungle man in the territory. Also along for the ride are Laura Gemser (who has a nude swim scene in which she mysteriously dies), Woody Strode (who has a fight with Sakata), Glynis Barber, David De Martyn and a bunch of disposable native Filippinos. After fatal attacks by snakes, alligators, an unstable rope bridge and booby traps, the dwindling crew get closer to their destination, and the ultimate showdown between Purdom and Whitman.

Directed without an ounce of flair by Alan Birkinshaw (KILLER'S MOON - 1978) and produced by the infamous late Dick Randall (PIECES - 1982; DON'T OPEN TILL CHRISTMAS - 1984, SLAUGHTER HIGH - 1986, who seemed to use Purdom in a few of his films), INVADERS contains a lot of nothing going on throughout most of it's running time, just a ton of infighting and some short spurts of gore. The international cast is highly unusual for a film of this low budget (and obviously a cash-in to the then box office smash RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK), but nothing really happens. Just trekking around jungle scenery, lots of arguements and a very quick ending. If the rest of the film were only as good as it's first ten minutes, we may have had some enjoyment here. Stuart Whitman later made a similar film, TREASURE OF THE AMAZON (1985) in Mexico for late director Rene Cardona Jr. (BEAKS: THE MOVIE - 1987). An All American Video Release that's now available on DVD in widescreen form from Mondo Crash. Not Rated.

Lawrence P. Raffel's review from the Monsters At Play website:

Ya know, there are films that challenge us because of complex characters or story structure. Perhaps there are situations presented that are so intense, we could never imagine having to suffer through them. These are films that impact our lives, they leave us contemplating for days after viewing and many of these films become our favorites. They are the product of talented filmmakers, those who have a real grasp on the medium and are born storytellers. Then there are films that leave us scratching our heads because those involved in its creation, no matter how hard they had tried, have proved that they'd be better suited for the mailroom at a major studio, rather than behind the camera. Sadly, Invaders of the Lost Gold is one such film.

The story that is about to unfold is so inane and nonsensical that I don't even know where to begin. I'll be honest, a lot of it isn't even worth going into at this point. It's such a mish-mash you'll probably have popped an entire bottle of aspirin before the end credits have even had a chance to roll. The story begins in the 1940's deep within the jungles of the Philippines. A group of Japanese soldiers are escorting an undisclosed amount of gold when they are attacked by a group of natives. Some violence ensues and the Japanese that aren't beheaded, manage to escape to a nearby cave with the gold. They leave the gold intact, vowing not to return unless all have been able to attend the reunion.

Flash forward 36 years later to Tokyo and an asshole American businessman named Douglas Jefferson is trying to put together an expedition to find the hidden fortune. He approaches some Japanese soldiers (From the opening of the film? Your guess is as good as mine) and isn't successful until he reaches the third gentlemen (he kills the first after he refuses and the second commits suicide!). Anyway, our lecherous businessman convinces the Japanese guy to go in for something like 25% and Douglas is on his way to finance the expedition. Somehow he manages to get the $$ and puts together a motley crew of explorers (including Janice, his sexilicious daughter) and about 45-minutes into the film they hit the jungle.

Once they arrive, we're given information (limited information at that) about a possible double cross. There's a snake and crocodile attack and Laura Gemser (looking gorgeous as ever) stops by with just enough time to mysteriously die while taking a nude swim by a waterfall (this part I didn't mind so much). One by one the group starts to perish as they gain ground toward their fortune. Who's behind the double cross? I'm not sure that any of us should even care at this point!

Invaders of the Lost Gold is so beyond bad filmmaking, it's quite sad actually. The opening scene has promise and is pretty nifty with the jungle assault and all, but once we hit present time and the crew is assembled, It's hard to tell where the story is going. Before we even understand why they've chosen whom they've chosen, the boat is ready to roll and being loaded up! All of these people seem to have ties with one another, yet none of this is ever fully explained. Since we don't really know who these people are, of course we don't care a bit, so there's hardly any drama to be found. Exploitation elements are so light, that it's difficult to even enjoy Invaders on my normal perverted scumbag level as well!

Crash Cinema has released Invaders as the first title in their Mondo Crash line. Quality wise, this one is really rough around the edges. There's no shortage of print damage, with plenty of specs and scratches randomly found throughout. Quality is quite spotty as there are some scenes with fairly solid colors and very little damage while others seem to have hit the jackpot of anomalies. For what it's worth, I doubt that it's even necessary for this flick to be cleaned up any more than this - it serves its purpose well...as the main attraction of your next crappy movie night (c'mon, we all have 'em!). Audio is pretty remarkable in that this flick features one of the worst dub jobs that I have ever heard! Dubbed voices of dying soldiers and natives in the opening scenes are beyond laughable - this flick is screaming for a makeover from the retired fellas over at MST3K. There is some slight background noise, but for the most part, dialogue is clear enough in all of its terrible glory.

Extras include some completely unrelated kung fu trailers. It's nice to see Crash Cinema broadening their horizons and they have some interesting flicks coming out under the Mondo Crash line including Death Dimension and Beat Girl. While Invaders didn't exactly float my boat, I'll bet that Crash did everything they could with what they've been given. If you're looking for a film that's so bad...well it's just bad - then check out Invaders. Otherwise, keep a close eye on Mondo Crash's upcoming line, because they've got some real diamonds in the rough on their schedule. I'll tell you one thing about their release of Invaders though - the cover art certainly kicks ass!

Ian Jane's review from the DVD Maniacs website:

Invaders Of The Lost Gold has really only one thing in it’s favor – it’s made up of an all-star exploitation cast. Harold Sakata (Odd Job from Goldfinger), Stuart Whitman (who appeared alongside an oiled up Lee Van Cleef in Captain Apache and a ton of other b-movies), Woody Strode (Kingdom Of The Spiders, Once Upon A Time In The West) and Laurie Gemser (of Joe D’Amato’s Emanuelle series) all have large roles in the film.

The story starts off with a bang. A troop of Japanese soldiers in the Philippines during World War II are attacked by a tribe of blood thirsty savages (who, sadly, don’t appear to be cannibals) and the gold they are escorting through the jungle becomes lost when the savages chop off their heads.

Cut to the swinging seventies and an entrepreneurial chap decides to hire on Mark Forrest (Whitman) to lead an expedition consisting of himself, his foxy blonde daughter, his assistant Cal (Strode) and his henchman Tobachi (Sakata) into the jungle to find the gold and in turn make themselves all filthy rich.

Once they’re there, they meet up with Forrest’s ex-girlfriend Maria, played by Laura Gemser, who five minutes later takes off all her clothes, jumps into a lake for a swim, and dies screaming only to wash up on shore a few minutes later. How or why she dies isn’t important I guess, as we’re never given a reason for it. She just takes off her clothes, goes swimming and starts to scream. Ummm….ok. Sure.

Anyway, back to the story. Eventually other members of the crew start getting knocked off, and only Forrest and the foxy blonde daughter make it to the cave to find they’ve been double crossed by Forrest’s old partner from back in the day.

This movie is a total mess. The first ten minutes are great and the last twenty or so are pretty solid, but the middle drags a bit and there are so many loose ends left dangling that it can really make your head hurt if you try and sort it all out. That being said, it does have a small amount of charm, particularly if you’re a trash film aficionado like myself as it’s incoherence and gratuitous nudity and violence do make for a few stand out moments.

For Y'ur Height Only (1981)

1981 - For Y’ur Height Only (Liliw Productions)

[Philippines release date 6th September 1981]

NOTE: the company changed its name to Liliw Films International after FYHO was sold around the world

Director Eddie Nicart Story/Screenplay Cora Ridon Caballes Producer Peter M. Caballes Executive Producer Dick Randall Cinematography Bhal Dauz Editor Edgardo Vinarao Stunt Co-ordinator Eddie Nicart Music Pablo Vergara Theme song “Nilikha Ba Ako Upang Masaktan” sung and composed by Maraya, produced by Light Star Productions Inc

Credited cast Weng Weng (Mr Weng, Agent 00) Uncredited on English version Max Alvarado (Columbus), Yehlen Catral (Lola), Mike Cohen (Professor Kohler), Tony Ferrer (Chief), Jim Gaines (voice: English version), Rodolfo 'Boy' Garcia (Mr Kaiser), Goliath (Mr Giant), Anna Marie Gutierrez (Anna), Carmi Martin (Marilyn), Romy Nario (Cobra), Nick Nicholson (voice: English version), Ruben Ramos (Jack), Beth Sandoval (Irma)

Also known as: For Your Height Only (export title)... Todliche Mission (“Dead Mission”, West German VHS release on the IHV label)… Erittäin Lyhyt (Finland)

The 1981 Manila International Film Festival was designed by First Lady Imelda Marcos as an elaborate showcase of Filipino culture. To everyone’s horror, the only film that sold to the world was a midget spy film – a miniature mockery of Western pop iconography, and a joyously naïve celebration of Filipino Goon Cinema - called For Y’ur Height Only.

Eddie Nicart, renowned stunt director for the SOS Daredevils, trained Weng Weng every day for three months to be a professional stuntman, and after Agent 00 (also 1981), this was his second opportunity to direct. And what a job he did - over the astounding course of the film Agent 00, our curious little brown hero with a receding Ramones bowl cut and an all-white suit and boater, cracks an international drug ring, gets the girl, loses the girl (“Irmaaaaa!”) and infiltrates the secret lair of evil criminal mastermind Mr Giant (played, appropriately enough, by a dwarf named Goliath), all with an armful of gadgets and his famous trick of punching someone in the balls, then running between their legs.

It’s hard to pin down the appeal of For Y’ur Height Only. It’s not just the novelty of seeing a Filipino midget pretending to be a gun expert and ladies’ man, or the inexplicable thrill of watching bad (and I mean BAD) kung fu movies. Maybe it’s the inadvertently genius deconstruction of both Western action films and their Pinoy counterparts, surreal pot-addled dubbing by American expats (and Apocalypse Now survivors) Jim Gaines and Nick Nicholson, or inspired casting of every Bad Guy (or “Goon”) still alive at the time, and the James Bond of the Philippines himself, Tony Ferrer aka Agent X44, as Weng Weng’s boss. Perhaps it’s a combination of its constituent elements, or something new altogether. It all adds up to an absurdist masterpiece of gloriously bad cinema, one which was sold all over the world and became one of the Philippines’ most successful exports.

International press book from Cannes Film Festival, 1982 [scans courtesy of Lucas Balbo]

Turkish poster [scan courtesy of Lucas Balbo]