Wish everyday is weekend day

Saturday was pretty productive. Went for Senam Seni at Dataran Merdeka with Mr.Joe in the morning. Then later fetched Mr.Joe at his house heading to Jalan TAR to take our measurements for the wedding suits and went to Habib to resize Mr.Joe's ring.

As for Sunday, instead of going to Hazli's wedding, I spent my time lazying on my bed with the laptop doing online window shopping and later watched The Girl Next Door, Prom Night and The Accidental Husband. The Girl Next Door is kinda creative, Prom Night is stupid and The Accidental Husband is too predictable. Mr.Joe was not answering my smses, he must have been busy or asleep or he needed a time out, err, from me..hehe.. I have been very clingy lately.

Next weekend, I'll be heading to Langkawi with Nonie. This is my first single short vacation trip without the family. Bought the ticket when the mind wasn't thinking right. I was feeling rather down that day. Anyway, I was kinda excited. But strictly no sunbathing. I don't need tanned, scaly skin on my wedding day, do I?

Now you see me, next you wont..

MJ is dead. I wasn't a big fan of his but I grew up listening to his songs and watching his videoclips. He will be missed.

I started to think that death is so near to us. God can take my life even before my finger manage to strike a key on the keyboard if He wants to.

Islam asks it's people to think about death every single second. And when I'm mad or angry of someone especially the loved ones, I started to think, what if I were never gonna see them again the next moment I blinked my eyes. What if I never had the chance to say I Love You one last time. But if I was hurt by someone, I couldn't help myself from thinking that if I were to die now, I kinda hope he/she will feel remorseful for the rest of his/her life for hurting me and never had the chance to say sorry. Yes, evil, I know..

I read in Cleo mag that men hate when women ask them, "How would you feel if today is the last time seeing me alive" Hell they wouldn't want to think about it at all. Men's thinking is more simple than women. "What's in the present, I'll deal it with but for something in the future, I'll deal with it when it happens, IF it happens" Well, I have plenty of experiences being scolded for saying the word DEATH.

When saying about death or separation, it's not that we want it to happen. We just don't want to think too much what to do next when it actually happens. Most women will always think of Plan B If Plan A went wrong and some men called them pessimistic. And I was always being called that.

Well, I was born to be independent. Women should be able to do things men can do. Women should have education, a secure job, savings, a car, a house and sometimes be as bold as men. Women shouldn't depend solely on her men. Yes, true he was the man you're so madly in love when you got married last time but you'll never know what will happen when you turn fat, ugly and bitter 20 years from now with 4 kids who are still in school. If you have savings, education/job, you can still survive on your two feet eventhough your husband is getting married to a lady 15years younger.

Anyway, I always believe that when there's no death or separation, one can never know the meaning of having someone by his/her side. We have to think about being separated in order to appreciate the loved ones. But many of us tend to take things for granted until it's already too late.

Everytime the car drive pass by my accident place every day, I kept reminding myself how I nearly died that day. God has given me another chance to be with my loved ones and I really2 appreciate it. I wish to be with my family and Mr.Joe every second of my life. Been able to hug and kiss my mom, having to hear Mr.Joe's laugh and see his twinkling brown eyes, priceless..

The word I Miss You is not only for the one you hardly see. Uttering those 3 words to the person you don't see for 3 hours may sound very cheesy but it does create a smile.

~Words can be very simple but it also manage to give a very deep impact without you knowing it.

The one that really cares..

There is no one in this world born with happy, cheery mood every second of his life.

Even the clowns. And people always say, the one who really cares for you is the one who stays and frequently checks on your condition every couple of hours just to make sure you need a hug or anything else when you turned sour or when you said "Leave me alone".

But some just remained for the sake of happy times and left when you were no longer fun to be with leaving message such as, "Your mood aren't good, I'll leave you alone" therefore he/she wont deal with your grumpiness and ended-up quarreling over a tiniest thing..

How sad is that..

1 Month, 2 Weeks and 3 Days to go

Yeah, 1 Month, 2 Weeks and 3 Days to go and this morning was a disaster. I have finished with my beading project on my nikah dress last night. So happy with the outcome, I decided to wash it before keeping it in the wardrobe. I didn't use any corrosive washing soap, just hair shampoo but I freaked out when I saw the shiny twinkling powdery thing on the surface of the last rinsed water.

I checked on the beads, OMG, OMG, OMG!!! The beads are no longer silvery or gold in colour. Tears falling down the cheeks.. I even pinched my cheeks to see whether I'm dreaming. The 4-month-job flushes down the drain, just like that. It's either the shop is selling fake miyuki beads or the dress was exposed to too much sunlight.

Then I checked on the Miyuki website, there are sooooooooo many type of beads with different durability. Mine must have had the weakest durability.

I told Mr.Joe and he said it's fated and don't be too sad about it. Nothing can be done to undo the whole thing. I said I want to redo the whole thing. He said as long as I'm happy, do it then. Then I replied saying I'm not happy redoing the whole thing. Mr.Joe said back, don't do it if I'm not happy. I continued saying I won't be happy either if I didn't do it because the dress will look shabby. Mr.Joe was confused and he said nothing more. hehe

Anyway, the incident happened today made me think on how I actually wanted him to react on that matter. Then I remember the 1st few chapters of Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus when the women actually want to be pitied when they are telling their partners their problems. Women do not want solutions neither do they want a fixing plan.

I want empathy and nurturing when bad things happened to me. I feel loved by the one that cares. I don't mind people saying, "That's so sad, I pity you". "If that ever happened to me..oh, I don't want to think about it." "Here, let me give you a hug". Ok, that's me. But men are totally different. When bad things happened to their friends they would just say, "You'll get through with it" and the next thing is, they are talking about sports.

I just want to lie down. I wish I have my car now and drive to nowhere while listening to the music. I miss my Kenari. I hope Bro Pian is taking good care of her.

Akhir zaman

Kesan daripada tidur lewat hari Ahad lalu masih lagi tidak hilang. Pagi ni, kalau Mr.Joe tak kejutkan, konfem saya EL sebab bangun lewat.

Sampai di ofis masih lagi mamai plus sakit perut. Ingat nak pergi toilet, tapi bukak FB dulu. Bukak page kawan, then bukak page gefren die sebab nak tengok gamba gefren die. Kawan saya ini Indian kacuk Serani. Saya tengok gefren macam Melayu. Nama depan Melayu, nama kedua ade nama ala2 orang puteh (sebut dengan slang). Okeylah, orang Sabah or Sarawak or Serani macam die kot. Saya browse ke bawah lagi, Astaghfirullah, orang Melayu rupenye....

Terbukak luas mata sepet saya yang hampir2 tutup tadi. Sakit perut pun hilang. Terkejut.


Orang yang komen selepas die tu pun sama spesies. Beraninya mereka memaparkan status begini, memperlekehkan Islam kepada orang ramai.

Dunia dah menghampiri akhir zaman.

Wanita ini telah membuat tatoo, gamba meminum arak dan bercumbuan dengan boifren merata di FB nya. Di slot Religious, die telah meletakkan "Not sure yet". Saya beristighfar berdoa dijauhkan perkara begini berlaku dalam ahli keluarga dan sahabat handai saya.

Namun, ia membuat saya terfikir, bila berlaku perkara sebegini, apa tindakan saya sebagai orang Islam? Apa patut saya buat? Kalau berlaku betul2 di depan mata saya seseorang tu mengkeji Islam, bagaimana reaksi saya agaknye? Apa patut saya balas? Dengan cara marah2? Cara lembut? Ia telah membuat saya berfikir. Ilmu agama saya masih sangat cetek. Saya perlu belajar dengan lebih dalam lagi..

Oh, my, it's Monday..

Is it only me or everyone as well feels that time is moving so fast these days.. I can't get enough of my weekend.. Sedar2 dah Isnin kembali..

Saturday was spent attending 2 weddings. 1 in Bukit Jelutong and another was just nearby to my house. Sunday was spent spring cleaning my room. Man, I never knew I have sooooo many clothes. The clothes are never outgrown because what you see now, err, I mean before DPA is what you see me 10 years ago. I packed some into a bag that I will bring to my future house which I haven't bought yet. Garu kepala tengok baju kurung yang berlambak2. Ni lepas kawin kene beli wardrobe besar if nak share dengan Mr.Joe or I have to have my own wardrobe.

Anyway, I bought a new bed for my room. Need to start decorating my room now. No longer 2 single beds dengan palang macam katil baby in my room. Hehe, it's actually a double-decker bed. I used to share my room with Sis Yanti. Need to find a new house secara serius to put the beds. Ma's house is so packed. No more empty room to put the extra beds.

And the night is spent sorting the unwanted stuff. I threw all of my undergrads note. Sedih. Keeping only the books. ader la setinggi pinggang kertas2 yang perlu dihantar ke pakcik recycle 30sen/kg. All the nicknacks given for my birthdays and etc, were dumped into the bin. I took pictures of them 1st as remembrance. Slept at 4 and now I can barely open my eyes. Luckily Mr.Joe was driving, I slept all the way to Putrajaya this morning.

I can't wait for my new bed to be delivered today. And I have a full closet of nicknacks and old stuff to be thrown. Pejam mata dan buang. Jangan ade second thoughts, nanti dah ikat dalam plastik sampah pun boleh gi korek balik.

~Nak cat bilik kaler ape eh..