Daddy's tern

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: no
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 10 HA!/10
• Day Score: 7.35419872656000001/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Well well well. I just had a messidge from Blogger sayin that I can now hav my blog translaytid into Hebrew, Arabic an Persian. Any taykers?

On the tummy-bug frunt, we hav mayde progress. Ov a sort. That is, Daddy has now got it. On the plus side this meens his pooes hav progresst at a farst rayte ov knots to number 6 on the chart, so I waz finally abol to find owt wat waz ment by "fluffy edges". Or, I waz abol to enkwire abowt it. I don't meen "find owt" litrolly, as in hav a look. Good Lord no. Well, not unless it waz in a Tupperware contayner that had a dam good seel on it. I meen, it is intrestin.

Enyway. I can report that "fluffy" is in fakt a jolly good discripshun, an also that it duz NOT tickol on the way owt.

Daddy is up to 5 on the kwantity scayle ov things today, an that's dispite the Imodium capsules. I did arsk if he cood lay off those, in the intrest ov reeserch, but he sed that he waz fine wiv singol figures an thankt me very much.

Mummy, on the other paw, is feelin a lot better but still tyerd. But we all did a layte nite shoppin trip to perk her up (a good swing in the trolley, speshly throo the pant aisle, always werks for me!)

-Yu remember Daddy is a teecher? Well this term he is teechin 7 yeer olds, an tomorro he is teechin them how to mayke choklit fridge cayke. So we had to go an buy LODES ov yummy BROWN choklit, wich he will hav to mayke all MELTY an MOLTEN an RUNNY in frunt ov the clarss, an then mix it wiv RAISINS so that it is a brown goo full ov lumpy bits an biskits an stuff, an soft, gooey butter. Imagin havin to do that wen yor tummy is rumblin an yor bottom is tryin to skweez in a berp. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!

(If he brings sum home, I'm not shor I shall eet eny.....)

Bye fer now!

Now, THIS shoppin, I can understand!

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: yes. Lost 3 - 0 to Watford (full nayme: Wat-fall-ov-poo-ford Utd)
• Simpsons: yes!
• Tesco: yes!
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 10!/10
• Day Score: if ownly we had wun 8.236 /10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

I was very intrestid to reed that Phytheas had fownd a Hunny flayver Grizzly Bar on his laytist travols. Grayum luvs Grizzly bars. But so far he has stuk to Banarnana flayver. We thort that this waz the ownly flayver yu cud get. Let's face it, it waz the ownly flayver that Farther Crismoss put in Grayum's sok larst yeer:

Well, arfter seein the hunny wun on Pyth's blog, Mummy an dilly went owt today on the bus to hunt wun down- an fownd wun:

I think Dilly has a soft spot fer Grayum reelly. Enyway, he snaffold this up pronto an luvd it. He gayve a bit to me an the Windowsill Bears, too. It waz yum. Grayum is very happy that Dilly bort it for him. Heez pratikly yung wiv eggsitement over findin a hunny flayver Grizzly Bar.

But.......

Duzz this meen that Farther Crismoss is mean? Cuddent he hav brort him wun ov eech?

Grayum thinks that the hunny flayver wun has ownly jus come owt. I'm not sayin enything. Grayum wud be upset if he thort that there had been hunny flayver wuns all this time. So weer jus lettin him think they're new.

Just hope he stops bowncing soon.

Bye fer now!

Funny how gerls like shoppin....

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: mist them; Granny duzzent reelly go in fer The Simpsons. Hmm....
• Tesco: no
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 9/10
• Day Score: 7/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

We stayd at Granny's fer a cuppol ov days. It waz grayte to see her resident Bears agen, an we always get cayke at Granny's. This weekend we had speshol Bear Size caykes, an I took my rockin chair along so we cud all perfekt our relaxayshun tekneeks:

Then we all drove to Maidstone. Maidstone is like a big shoppin centre on a hill, wiv a wun-way system goin rownd an rownd it to keep it from fallin off.

Daddy got a bit narkt cos the gerls kept goin in shoo shops, but evenchooly Granny bort sum noo shooz - an Mummy bort new pants! (Unfortewnately not Gillingham Bloo, jus blak an wite agen. But never mind. There's nothin kwite like frolikin a brand-new pant.)

Mummy wunce sed that wen she waz a littol gerl, if she waz bort new shooz, she wud wear them in bed. She liket them so much an got so eggsited bowt gettin new shooz, she jus dident want to take them off.

I kept an eye on Granny, but she dident sleep in them.

(I wonder if Mummy duzz the sayme wiv new pants????)

Bye fer now!

Her nayme's not on the list, an she issent coming in. So there.

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: restin
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: yes
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 9.5/10
• Day Score: 7.862/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Arfter yestaday's blog abowt the Thunder Shelter, I reseevd sum messidges from peepol very worried abowt Dilly (onnistly, yu lot!) becos she wassent seen in the photo's.

Well there is a reeson for wy she wassent seen in the photo's.

She wassent in the Shelter.

An befor yu hurl biskit crums at me an say I'm not a gud bruver (wich I yam), let me tell yu sumthing aout her relativs: Dragons mayke the lightening.

It's troo. Dilly sed so. Wich I'll admit, duzzent reelly meen much, even wen yu can understand wat sheez sayin. But then I sor it in a book, too: the lightening is dragons flying abowt breathing fire.

An she issent even bothered enyway. In fact, wen we took to the Shelter, she was so un-scared, she just went shopping.

Dilly, off to the shops. Probly fer mor pink gerly stuff.

So there yu hav it. Feer not, I hav not abandond my littol sister. Even tho I dident wont a sister, I wontid a scarf.

Bye fer now!

Get bizzy shoppin or get bizzy dyeing

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Mummy cort me investigaytin her grey hairs so desydid the time was ripe fer a bit of dyeing.

I'm told that, fer a lot of women, this is a 6-weekly half hour job, jus rootine. Ha! Not fer MY mum. She takes 3 weeks to deside that yes, she IS reelly goin a bit snowy on top, another 2 to get rownd to buying the box of chemicals, a ferther 3 wile the box gathers dust on her dressing tabol (believe me, that tabol is dusty. She says it's jus where the talc lands, but NO talc container can pack that much) an then a week to get syked up enuff to akchewally do it.

We ar in stage 2 of this timetabol of events, so off we went, shopping.

She akwired a new shopping bag at the weekend. It's HEWGE. So big, in fact, that there is now no reason fer eny of us Bears to stay at home wen there is eevn the slimmest of chances that she is goin into town an might walk parst the window of the Anne Summers shop. Ooo there's nuthin like walking parst that shop. It's even better than goin rownd the pant sekshon in Marks & Spensers. Do yu know, sum of the pants in that windo ar so small, even Littol Baby Bear Bob Junior wuddent be abol to make a hammock out of them! But I digress...... here we are, demonstraytin that yes, we DO all fit, so there:

An off we went.

If yu ar wondering wy I am not a Sympathetic Bear wen it comes to Mummy's hair sitchewayshon, let me tell yu of a pertikular torcher she applied to me sum time ago.

It is not troo wat Dilly sez, abowt me not having barths. I had wun 3 years ago. They eevn photografed the torcher bein applied, wich I'm shor goes agenst the Geneva Convenshun or sumthing:

But Mummy fergot that sum of my body beads are black (since the transfusion I had arfter being run-over). Now, there ar no blak beads in my hed. So wen the colour of the beads RAN, I was left wiv a dark body an a pale hed, fer weeks.

IT'S NOT FUNNY! But it means I am entitled to larf wen she mewses about HER head colour. So there.

Enyway, chemicals akwired, we shud be just exiting phase 3 by mid-June.

Bye fer now!

Secret Shopping Mishons

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

As it is coming into the Crismos Shopping season, I thort I had better warn yu all about the number ov Bears yu might encounter on yor shopping trips. For example, I hav reseeved a note from Ruth about spotting me while shopping in Colchester:

I hope you feel better soon. Nothing worse than a cowd in your dose. Will
look out for you next time I'm in Colchester as we dont live far away. I will
rcognise you as I you dont see many bears in town.

Aha! There are more bears about than you think, Ruth We ride in our mummy's handbags. Yu will sumtimes be abol to detect this if the sed Bear is at all eggsited, for example, while passing through the lingerie section in BHS, M&S, or while walking past Anne Summers (wa-heyyy!!!). At this point yu may be abol to discern the bag jumping up an down, or hear a faint giggling.

Also check in car parks: sumtimes Bears stay behind to guard the car. Yewsually Dilly duzz this job, so if yu see a gold Punto wiv a growchy looking croco-dragon in the front (probably in her green headscarf), that's probly us!

Bye fer now!