WARNING: This blog is ritten in Bear English, wich is phonetic. An that is mor than yu can say abowt the werd "phonetic".
Showing posts with label pants on heds. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pants on heds. Show all posts

Saturday, August 01, 2009

Mor Pants in the News! Wa-hey!

Yesterday's scores:
  • Gills: No
  • Simpsons:yes
  • Tesco: no
  • Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 6 (I let Sam get me) /10
  • Overall Score: 7.63210
HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!!!

Jackie sent me this link. Hav a look! Hehe! It's abowt a spaceman hoo wor the sayme pants for a munth!! HAHAHA! An I'm not eevn shor he did the inside-owt an bak-to-frunt chaynge-abowt iver. Well, thro my arms up at him! Hehe! Yu wuddent want to put THOZE wuns on yor hed, wud yu?

Weer off to Granny's in harf an hour or so. Weer goin to watch Gillingham play a gayme at Thurrock ferst, wich is on the way. Then weel be at Granny's this eevnin an weer taykin sum sossidges for dinner. We won't be bak till Munday.

Meenwile Mummy is owt in the garden, hiding hedgehog food under leeves an bits ov cardbord an stuff; she is feelin gilty that she won't be heer to feed them tonite or tomorro nite.
Next dor thinks she is very odd. -He spends his time cleenin an preenin his garden to within an inch ov its life, an thare's Mummy delibrutly puttin litter abowt hers. Haha! Well I kno hoo I prefer. I think heez borin. (All his pants ar grey. I sor them on the washin line.)

Bye fer now!

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Pants on hed!

Yesterday's scores:
  • Gills: No
  • Simpsons:yes
  • Tesco: yes, we ran owtta cow jooce
  • Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 10 Huzarr! /10
  • Overall Score: 7.8361/10
HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!!!

I waz browzin the news paiges today, as I do, bein as I am a well-red an well tellygent Bear, an I cayme across sumthing that happend the uther day not far from ware I liv: a man robbed a store in disgize. An do yu kno how he waz disgized? As a pare ov underpants!!!!

He waz cort on CCTV. Heer he is-He akcherly tryd to hold up a store wiv pants on his hed! HAHAHAHA!

Do yu think they wer cleen wuns?
Maybe.
If he had plannd the robbery then maybe they wer.
But wat if it wassent plannd?
-Wat if he jus lept owtta his bed an thort, "I kno, I'm goin to hold up a store today!"
an then: "Whoah. Hang on, I havent dun eny washin. Hmm. Oh well!" -an then jus pikt up yesterday's pants off the flor. Hehee.
Now then............
Next kwestchun: did he tern them inside owt?
It's the skid mark problem, issent it?- Is it better on the owtside or the inside? An if the pants ar going on yor hed, yu hav a whole new ambit ov problems to consider, namely, site versus smell.
If yu tern them inside owt, peepol mite see the skid marks. But if yu keep them the rite way rownd, yu risk the skiddies slipping down rite over yor nose.
Hmm.....
Do yu think they wer Y-Frunts? If so, do yu think he peerd throo the vent?
Or maybe they wer just normal pants. He cud hav pulld them down so the frunt bit cuverd his hed an nose, wile he eyes cud look owt the leg holes.
Mind yu, watever type ov pants they wer, they wer enormuss! I rekkon they wer his Dad's.
Yu see? Taint eezy, is it?
Lots ov things to think abowt.
An that's wat I do, I think abowt things.
Deeply.
I'm a thortful Bear.

Saturday, October 04, 2008

It must be Grandparent week!

Yesterday's scores:
  • Gills: no
  • Simpsons: yes
  • Tesco: no
  • Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: we've all bin too bizzy reedin the brillyent Captain Underpants book that Stanley an Stella sent us!! /10
  • Day Score: 7.84291/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Oh deer! In fakt, oh deer oh deer! Becos thare ar 2 things to say "oh deer" about. So, do I say "Oh deer, oh deer." together, like that. Or, do I say "Oh deer!" then paws, an then say "Oh deer!" agen. Or, perhaps, do I jus say "Oh deerS" an leev the number open???? Hmm... skomplicaytid stuff, is langwidge.

ENYWAY. My ferst "oh deer" is that it seems I did not blog all week. No post since Sunday, an I wassent eevn on a nice hollyday sumwhare. Criminol! SO I am sorry bowt that.

My secund "oh deer" is that I may hav offendid sum peepol in my larst post. I meen...a week an ownly 8 comments? C'mon, guys. That feels like a suttol way ov sayin sumthing like, "Now look heer, yu cheeky yung Bear [at least, I wud HOPE that yu wud capitolize 'Bear', no matter how annoyd yu ar wiv wun ov the speesheez], now look heer, I serpport that fine Mr McCain an I don't think it's funny that yu ar rood abowt him."

If this is the cayse, then I do apologize.

Look, I'm ownly littol. I don't meen to be rood to enywun. Well, that's not striktly troo: Koalas. Koalas I HAV to be rood to, becos they go arownd tellin peepol they ar Bears an they're not, they ar silly beak-nosed-tree-huggers that poo soup on torrists' heds an eevn fall asleep mid-streem. But uther than them, an the odd cheatin scum opponent footballer, I don't meen to upset enywun.

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Just remindid me of a camel, s'all. :@}

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Enyway!

Granny-Ireland an Grandad-Poppa went to Rhodes for 2 weeks an ownly went bak home to Ireland on Thursday. BUT! They flew into London on Wendzday, an rang me up an sed, "Hullo thar, wee fella! Wud yee be wontin to com to Lundon for a wee dinner then?"

WOW! Dinner in Lundon wiv Granny-Ireland an Grandad-Poppa! Brillyant! I waz so exsytid! I put my newest an bestest jumper on an ran to the car!!

It waz grayte to drive rownd Lundon at nite. We sor all the faymuss bits all lit up an glowin! Then we all met up at a littol Italyun place near Victoria called L'Arco. The food waz yum! The dizzerts wer sooper-yum!

Heer's me an Dilly wiv Granny-I an Poppa:

I'm a bit big-eyed cos Grandad-Poppa had an espresso an I tryd sum ov it. It's weird stuff. Sort ov the grayvy ov the coffee werld. I dident blink agen till we wer harf way home.

Mummy an Daddy? Oh, yeah. They wer thare too. But ownly cos I'm too small to reech the peddols in the car. Jhee jhee jhee!

They talkt abowt us all goin to Ireland at the end ov the munth for a holiday. Wenever an wharever we go on hollyday it's allways cold wet an rainy, so we mite as well. HAHAHAHAHA! See, told yu I'm a cheeky Bear!

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Weer off to our uther Granny's today, the wun that's Mummy's mummy an carfters Mummy's cats cos they like her big garden.

It will be the ferst time we see them all since Orgust an Mummy carnt wayte to see Fluffy an pik her up an sniff her toze. (Lor, sheez weird.)

So wa-heyy! 3 Grandparents in 4 days! At leest the English wun knows not to strayten my eers owt, like the Irish wun kept doin. Mummy had to explayne to her, I'm a spy, an I need to be reddy for all evenchewalitys, an that means WUN ear forwerd an WUN ear bak!!!!!

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Gillingham ar playin today- kik off 3pm British Summer Time. Pleez hav yor bloo pants at the reddy an on in time. If yu get cort short an ferget till the larst minit, don't panick, jus put them on yer hed. It's funny, but waring them on yor HED seems to be EEVN lukkier than waring them on yor bottom-an-bits. Try it! Get on a bus in the rush-hour an thare won't be a seat in site. But don a pair ov lukky bloo pants on yer hed an TAH-DAAH! Instantly, peepol moov owt ov the way for yu. It's MAGIC!

Bye for now :@)