Stoopid reptillyen.

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: No
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: yes
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 10 hahahaha! /10
• Overall Score: 7.6668/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!!!

I never eevn wantid a sister, I wantid a scarf.

We wer awl owt at London Zoo an stopt off at the gift shop. I offerd to stay an gard the car, hopin they wood be abol to SELEKT A SCARF FOR ME (note lak of 'come bak wiv a sister' in that phrayze). I waz hoping for a stripey scarf wiv ellyfants on. Enyway. Wen they EVENCHEWERLY reternd, it waz wiv a small green thing an the rest is histry. ANNOYIN histry. Annoyin histry rite up to this morning wen she serparst herself in annoyingissity.

Thare waz I, wandering across the bed, minding my own bizness an tryin to deside wat to do wiv my day, wen up comes Dilly wiv that darft Nessie frend ov hers, an sez,
"HEWO BOB! BOB! Want play hide-seek?" to wich I, polytely ignoring her speech impediment (a sort ov preposishun-fobia) sed, "Yeah ok, watever" all cool like.
SHE offerd to go an hide ferst wich is always good wiv Dilly cos if yu chaynge yor mind abowt playing it's a good way ov gettin rid ov her for hours.

WELL!!!!
I cowntid to 30, (THERTY!), an then ternd rownd AN THEY WER STILL THARE!!!!
I jumpt so hard I NEERLY FLEW THROO MY EARS!!!!
An then they just rolld arownd larffin.

Well, I told them, if theyer not playin proply I'm not playin wiv them wich is fine, rite? I meen yu carnt play wiv peepol hoo don't do the rools. It jus duzzent werk.

THEN she sed I had no sense ov hewmer.

NO SENSE OV HEWMER????? NO SENSE OV HEWMER!!!!!! I WANTID A BLUDDY SCARF!!!!!!!!!!!

Good greeeeeeeeef. It's enuff to mayke yu chew yor own foot.

If yu hav siblings, how do yu cope? An did yu want sumthing else insted?

Bye fer now!

Taykin Dorothy to Granny's

Weekend's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: no
• Tesco: yes: took Dorothy on her ferst ride on a shoppin trolley. She liket it. Her fayvrit part ov the shop waz ware the biskits ar, wich she calls cookies.
  
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 10! Still hav to teech Dorothy this gayme/10
• Overall Score: 8/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

The weekend waz grayte!
It waz very hot an at ferst it waz too hot for us to sit up frunt in the car. So heer we ar, all strappt in in the bak. Henri is in the foto cos he waz goin home to Granny's.On the way to Granny's thare waz a big traffik jam. At ferst Dorothy thort this ment taysty snaks, so I had to explain to her that it ment sittin in traffik watchin the heat-monitor on the dashbord cos Daddy's car overheats if it has to sit a long time an then it goze smokey.

Then Daddy had a grayte idea- "Let's just go up that roade over thare an see whare it goze!" he sed. An we endid up at Brentfords Park. It is 215 acres of grassland an woods. Dorothy waz pleezd to see the woods.
We went runnin rownd an rownd an playd Hide-An-Seek-Der-Bear! Heer Mummy cort us on camra just as we wer runnin past her:We rang Granny to say we wud be layte, an stoppt thare for tea...The park waz on a hill an yu cud see London from it. Heer Dorothy is lookin at the Millenium Dome in London. I hav drorn an arro poyntin to it.

We went for a walk a spottid sum deer. Yu can jus see them in the field behind us heer...Heer they ar!Dorothy arskt if peepol huntid them.
No! No! No! Thare is no huntin, heer!She waz relleevd. "Not eevn Bears?" she arskt.
No, ESPESHLY not Bears, I told her.Inside the visitor sentor they had a hive full ov beez. It waz all behind glass so yu cud see them! We Bears find beez fassinaytin. Bears like beez cos they mayke our hunny.We wunderd how they get in! Then we spottid this tewb, leedin from owtside to the hive! Yu can see the beez' bellys!They had uther stuff too. Like theez tadpoles. Mummy rekkons theez gro into frogs! She maykes me larff sumtimes!!!Look at the size ov this cone, Stanley! I bet yu'd like to chew that!Dilly waz mostly intrestid in the exampols ov berd nests they had:We herd on the raydio that the traffik jam had cleerd, so we got bak to drivin to Granny's.
To get to Granny's howse we hav to go over 2 bridges.
Heer is Dorothy watchin as we go over the ferst bridge, the Queen Elizabeth 2nd bridge, at Dartford:Heer we ar comin up to the secund bridge, the Sheppey Crossing:Heer we ar goin over the bridge an that land in frunt is the Isle ov Sheppey, whare Granny livs:It waz very hot an Dilly gayve up navvygaytin an startid barskin insted:Wen we got to Granny's Dorothy fownd Miss Fluffy sleepin under a chair cover. She waz a bit confewzd. She sed sheed never seen a hedless cat befor:Thare wer lots ov Bears at Granny's to meet an Dorothy had sum grayte chattin:This is Bean. He's ralaytid to Mr bean's Bear.Granny had sum speshly Bear sized tarts for us. I choze coconut an Dorothy had treacle. YUM!On Sunday Mummy cookt dinner for evrywun. We had chikn casseroll, bayked swede an dumplings. Skrum!I showd Dorothy the hat that Unkol Roy had sent from Mexico. Unkol Roy is werkin thare, as a teecher. He gayve Granny this sooveneer but it's too small for her. It generally fits Bears, tho, an Dorothy tryd it on:Dilly showd Dorothy rownd Granny's garden. She sez she wil put her own fotoes on her blog layter abowt it. Meenwile heer they ar spyin on Mr Scooter from behind the tomato plarnt:Heer they ar waytin for berds to come an eet from the berd feeders in the tree:Wen we got home we rememberd that wun ov Daddy's neffews haz a berfday this week, an we need to send a card.
Mummy arskt me to chooz owt ov lots ov a box ov cards that sheez mayde. I choze this wun:Dorothy agreed that the cat on the card duzz hav sum exslent pants. I wonder if I cud get her intrestid in a good pant frolik???

Mummy sez we shud try to teech Dorothy abowt the histry ov our town but I rekkon sheel get enuff lessons on her travels an wat she cud reelly do wiv is a good frolik!

I haff to go now cos it haz gon dark an is startin to thunder an so we Bears need to get upstairs to the pant cubberd er... I meen Thunder Shelter. Wich is ware brayve peepol go wen it thunders if they don't like thunder. But eevn tho they don't like it they ar still brayve. If yu wer never scared ov sumthing how wud yu kno yu wer brayve? See? So if yu don't like thunder it duzzent DUZZENT meen yor not brayve. An I am brayve enyway cos I'm a Bear.

Bye fer now!