Highs an highlights

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no, but they've bort a new player. Anuver goalie. I think the new strategy is to hav 6 players on the field an 5 goalies. Yep, that mite werk.
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: no- Daddy waz thinkin ov goin an Mummy talkt him owt ov it! What the?
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 10 aha!/10
• Day Score: 7.364/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

I kept a low profile yestaday. Mummy reecht stage 3 ov dyeing her hair; akchewally dyeing it.

It's darker now. Well, on top, it is. She waz so paranoyd abowt the wite wuns that she yewsd up the bottol ov kemikols on the top ov her hed an dident hav enuff left fer the rest. So the top ov her hair is very very very dark brown, an the rest is well, Bob cullerd. (Wich is a gud culler, that.)

Then she sed, "Oh well, it'll wosh off." An it dident. So now sheez wearin her hair all tied up. But yu cuddent see the wite wuns wen she wor it like that enyway. I dunno: women.

Meenwile, wen I waz keepin owt ov the way, I wassent abol to keep an eye on wat Henri waz doin.

Heed fownd Daddy's box ov Choklit Coffee Beans. His Inglish not bein grayte, he thort they wer choklit peanuts. Well, heed herd me rayve abowt choklit peanuts so natchrally, he ate the lot. Now he looks like this:

He waz awake all nite. Twitchin. Oh boy....

Bye fer now!

Get bizzy shoppin or get bizzy dyeing

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Mummy cort me investigaytin her grey hairs so desydid the time was ripe fer a bit of dyeing.

I'm told that, fer a lot of women, this is a 6-weekly half hour job, jus rootine. Ha! Not fer MY mum. She takes 3 weeks to deside that yes, she IS reelly goin a bit snowy on top, another 2 to get rownd to buying the box of chemicals, a ferther 3 wile the box gathers dust on her dressing tabol (believe me, that tabol is dusty. She says it's jus where the talc lands, but NO talc container can pack that much) an then a week to get syked up enuff to akchewally do it.

We ar in stage 2 of this timetabol of events, so off we went, shopping.

She akwired a new shopping bag at the weekend. It's HEWGE. So big, in fact, that there is now no reason fer eny of us Bears to stay at home wen there is eevn the slimmest of chances that she is goin into town an might walk parst the window of the Anne Summers shop. Ooo there's nuthin like walking parst that shop. It's even better than goin rownd the pant sekshon in Marks & Spensers. Do yu know, sum of the pants in that windo ar so small, even Littol Baby Bear Bob Junior wuddent be abol to make a hammock out of them! But I digress...... here we are, demonstraytin that yes, we DO all fit, so there:

An off we went.

If yu ar wondering wy I am not a Sympathetic Bear wen it comes to Mummy's hair sitchewayshon, let me tell yu of a pertikular torcher she applied to me sum time ago.

It is not troo wat Dilly sez, abowt me not having barths. I had wun 3 years ago. They eevn photografed the torcher bein applied, wich I'm shor goes agenst the Geneva Convenshun or sumthing:

But Mummy fergot that sum of my body beads are black (since the transfusion I had arfter being run-over). Now, there ar no blak beads in my hed. So wen the colour of the beads RAN, I was left wiv a dark body an a pale hed, fer weeks.

IT'S NOT FUNNY! But it means I am entitled to larf wen she mewses about HER head colour. So there.

Enyway, chemicals akwired, we shud be just exiting phase 3 by mid-June.

Bye fer now!