Shorts on Heds an fergetfol Grannys

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: yes- we playd Thurrock and won 2 - 0 !!! Wa-heyy!!!
  
• Simpsons: no
• Tesco: ownly breefly, and that duzzent meen pants wer bort this time. Unfortewnitly.
  
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 10! Got Mummy!/10
• Day Score: 8.23296: 6/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Gillingham wer playin yesterday agenst Thurrock. It waz ownly a pre-seezon frendly but we still smasht 'em, 2 - 0 !!!!! Me an Daddy wer thare. It was grayte. Heer's a foto ov me, sellybraytin, wiv me shorts on me hed. (Ov corse.)Speekin ov fotoes, heer ar the laytest from Arnty Christina ov Mr Woo. She reseevd theez larst week. Az yu can see, he is still in London.

Heer he is in a standing still competishun:Heer he is on Tower Bridge:Arnty Christina sez she thinks he mite be waring the marsk so as not to be recognized by the poleece. He's still wantid on serspishun ov kidnappin Santa larst Crismoss. Do yu remember that?

I wonder whare he is heading. Do yu think he will tern up heer? Or maybe Granny's howse???!! Yeah, that's probly it! Grannys like kangaroos. They carnt help it, they just do. I think it's pouch envy. They see that pouch an think, "My, that wud be handy for taykin the grandchildren owt for tea wivowt loozing them." Or, "My, that wud be handy for puttin my shoppin list in wivowt loozin it." Or "My, that wud be handy for puttin my lavenderry mints in wivowt them gettin fluff stuk on them. Or loozin them." Grannys worry abowt loozin things. GRAYTE grannys don't. Grayte Grannys tend not to remember wat they've got in the ferst playce. But Grannys do. My Granny loozes stuff all the time. Mummy sez we need to tie evrything in the howse to a peece ov string. Then, wen she carnt find sumthing, she can just follo the peece ov string till she finds it.

Bye fer now!

Oh my! I got a reply!

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: no- an it's gettin seerioss agen, cos weer neerly out ov cow juice.
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 10 wat can I say. I'm a champyun. /10
• Day Score: 7.86329/10
• Advent calendar pikcher: 3 kings carryin shoppin

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Remember my letter to Father Crismoss? WOW! WOW! Today I got a reply bak from him!

Mummy brort me my post this mornin whyle I waz sittin doin a ponder on things at the end ov the sofa. (I don't meen I waz ponerin the things at the end ov the sofa, cos that wud be just an old cushon an wuddent be very intrestin. Well, not for a ponder, enyway. A kwik think, maybe, but not a ponder. No. I meen I was sittin there whylst ponderin big important things. Bears ar good ponderers, yu kno. Speshly wen it coms to big important things. For exampol, wun mornin I sat down to ponder all the diffrent types ov hunny in the werld an had got throo 5 by the time Mummy had her 3rd cup ov tea.) (Abowt 9 O'clock.)

...it's a Thank You card! WOW! I wrote an arskt him fer stuff, an he wrote to thank me fer arskin him! WOW!

He sez they're all reelly bizzy but they're werkin hard to get all the presents dun in time, inkloodin mine! WOW!

Well I waz so eggsytid! I ran to tell Mummy strayte away that I'll defnitly be gettin my new Gillingham top now! She went a bit odd an pale wen I sed this, so I think her tummy is still recuverin from her egg marathon. Never mind, Mummy! Cheer up! Father Crismoss is defnitly comin heer next week! Wa-heyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bye fer now!

Letter to Santa

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no - but I'm goin to see them play today- IT'S BLOO PANTS SATURDAY, PEEPOL! So pleez don't ferget to ware yor bloo stuff, speshly pants. Mummy, this meens yu. No excewsis.
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: no
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 20 - LBBBJ tryd to sneek up behind me, an wen I spottid him he pertendid he waz arfter Grayum insted, so I warnd Grayum too, an we both got him, wich meens we both get to invoke the Dubbol Yor Scor rool /10
• Day Score: 7.83921/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Have yu ritten yor letter to Santa yet? This is mine. Ov corse, the reel wun's got my address on it. But I had to blot it owt heer, wat wiv bein a spy an all:

The address yu hav to send it to in the UK (he haz regonal offissis, apparontly) is:

Hurrayy! I'm postin mine today.

Weer off to Granny's this mornin an tomorro, I'm meetin up wiv PHYTHEAS!!!! Wa-heyyy! Weer meetin up in Ashdown Forest. That's not far from wher Winnine T. Pooh (esq.) livs! Anyway weer meetin at the Ashdown Forest Llama Park. I hope we get lots ov good foto's for Rachelle! I hope they do good cayke in the cafe, too. This is goin to be so eggsytin, I hope my bum duzzent burst!

Bye fer now!

Mor Abowt Presents!

Weekend's scores:

• Gills: yes: on Sunday we playd Yeovil (full nayme: Ooo Ahhh Yoe chew-on-grarss Vile) an we lost 2 -1 arfter wun ov our fellas went off injerd, proovin that Yeovil jus arent very nice peepol. So there. Oh, an by the way, a serten Mummy dident ware enything bloo today. I think I'll get her a dikshunery fer Crismoss an underline "loyal".
• Simpsons: yes: fownd 2 episodes but Lisa got hert in wun :@{
• Tesco: yes, larst nite, fer chikn, milk an veggies.
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 9.510
• Weekend Score: 7.12853/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Ar yu all thinkin abowt Crismoss? I kno I hav to get my letter off to Santa this week. Dilly is still hesitaytin over wat culler bow to arsk him for, but sheez got to deeside this week too. Grayum haz arskt if he can jus put a "PS" on the end ov mine, as he ownly wants soks.

In Daddy's famly, they do things a bit diffrently, an don't get presents for evrywun.

Wat they do is, they rite all their naymes down in a list, then put them all in a hat too. Then they pull owt wun nayme from the hat for eech nayme on the list. This meens "this person has to buy for THAT person". It's a bit like the dror they do for the start ov the footboll seezon.

Well! This yeer, this grayte responsibility fell on me. So I rote all the naymes on a list, an rote them on littol bits ov payper for my bloo hat:

Now I hav to emayle my arnts an unkols an tell them hoo to by for. This duzzent apply to neffews, ov corse. This ownly applys to grown ups. If yor not grown up yu still get a present from evrywun. Wich jus goze to show that weer much mor fun, reelly.

Other news- Asta got my parsol! I sent her a present. I ownly had a big box, much bigger than the present, but I thort it wud be ok as she mite like to play wiv the box too. She put a video on her blog abowt it- I'm very happy to see her wiv it! Givin presents maykes my beads go warm.

Bye fer now!

Is it Crismoss or issent it?

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: no
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: LBBBJ climbed up my bak an tryd to get me over the top ov my hed, but he wassent kwik enuff an I got him ferst, then did a bak-flip an appeerd behind him befor he eevn got down, got him agen befor he notist, an so invoke the 250% rool: 25/10
• Day Score:7.9364/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

I got into such a grayte sleep on Munday nite that wen I woke up yestaday I thort it mus be Crismoss!

My ferst poynt ov confewzhon waz corzed by Daddy, reelly. He bilt a new wardrobe at the weekend an hassent kwite finisht transferrin all his cloves into it: there is a dror full of pants (wa-heyy) under the bed an a dror full ov sox jus sort ov moochin abowt the room. Hense, I awoke from a deep sleep an wat did I see at the foot ov my bed? Sox! So I thort, "My, my, yung Bob, I do beleev that Farther Crismoss has been in the nite alreddy, an yu diden't rite him a letter. Oh deer!" So I waz kwite relleeevd to discuver that this waz not the cayse.

BUT THEN!

Mummy opend the post an got our ferst Crismoss card!

IT'S TROO! Heer it is:

If yu arsk me, this robin duzzent look at all happy abowt havin to pose so errly fer this card.

On closer look we diskuverd that it is waz from the RSPB. Theez ar peepol hoo like berds an try to stop peepol hertin them. Like, if sumwun thinks, "Oo look at that berd's nest: I think I mite like that fer a hat." then the RSPB go arfter them an giv them a slap.

ENYWAY. They send us catalogs eech yeer an yewzerlly giv us a SAMPOL card to get us to think "MY, that is a good card; I think I shall buy another 2 so Dilly can send wun to all her frends" but we never do. We jus yews that wun fer sumwun we don't reelly like, like Mummy's stepmother, or sumwun else hoo smells a bit odd. (Bit like an old armchare that's been left owtside fer the cowncil to pik up an tayke to the dump, but they dident tern up, an then the local strays mayde a home in it, till it got wet in the rayne, then they jus sprayd it an went off in a huff.)

BUT this yeer we carnt cos they'v ritten this inside:

Foiled! And so yu see, this IS our ferst Crismoss card TO US.
I am goin to send this bak to the RSPB an tell them that I think it is a tad rood that they jus sined it "from all at the" an I want it personally sined, pleez, by evrybody, an the berds as well.

There. That shud keep them bizzy till Deesember, then they can send it agen. Proply.

Bye fer now!

Catch-up... Christmas!

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Due to my hibernayshun I didn't get to send yu my Christmas pikchers. OK heer we go then. & I wasn't drunk, I was acting. Got it?

left: Xmas tree complete with Pato the Duck on top...

below: me and Dilly, navigating the trip to my Unkol's on Xmas Day

...gazing at the tree can get quite mesmerizing...

....Daddy's Xmas Guinness!... (Like the jeans an t-shirt? I got them in my Christmas sock!)

....Dilly thort the ribbon was a snake, attakt it, and lost.

(right) Dilly insisted that there wud hav been dragons at Bethlehem too.

(left) me an Grayum looking fer mor biskits...rats! They'd scoffed the lot!

Hope yu enjoyd them!

Bye fer now!

FInding Our Crismos Socks

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: yes
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 9.5/10
• Day Score:8.23754/10
• Advent calendar pikcher: some fellas in drag wearing crowns

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

I have come across a gallery ov Christmassy Bears. Click here to go to their site! They all look like fun to know. I wish I cud invite them round. Apparently they're all tiny midgets so they wuddent eat all yer Crismassy food, either.

I've been looking fer a good sock to put up. I did think that wun ov Daddy's Gillingham Football socks wud be good, but I had a look an they've got holes in. Then I went throo the rest ov Daddy's socks, still thinking that wun ov his wud be best, as they are the biggest. But Holy Bear Poo! Phworrr! I thort better ov it, just in case Santa puts me choklit peanuts in there.

So now I hav wun ov Mummy's socks. Understandably, it issent as big. So I'm going to sleep in it to try to stretch it a bit. It issent too bad, it's got Pooh Bear on it. Dilly chose a gerly wun wiv pikchers ov cats on it. Wy do gerls hav such strange taste in socks? Still, not as bad as the choklit peanuts wud have tasted, if they'd come to me via anything that had been on Daddy's feet.

Bye fer now!

A Snowy Visitor

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: no
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 8 (very poor and totally undiservedly so) /10
• Day Score: 8/10
• Advent Calender Pikcher: a black & white cat

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Yesterday my parrents abandoned us an went Late-Night-Shopping fer Crismos presents. These were for Daddy's herd of nephews.

I carn't divulge much ov wat he returned home wiv, as some ov the littol blighters might log on an read this. But surffice it to say that not many Bears were adoptid. Huh! But there was a book about a Polar Bear.

I suggestid that it would be a Good Idea if they could adopt a Snowy Bear to go wiv the book, and so Mummy trawled the streets ov Colchester today, looking for wun.

She was gon hours. Yu wuddent think, it being nearly Crismos, that a Snowy Bear would be so hard to find. But then she found them all: they were all huddled together in wun shop, all pratising that great Bear Sport, Synchronized Sitting. Wun ov them agreed to leave the team, an this is the wun that came home.
We took a photo ov our Snowy Visitor, befor he sets off to Ireland, the land ov nephews. (Or most ov them). But of course I don't hav the photo to paw, as neither ov my parrents are that organized. So heer is a pikcher to whet yor appetite. Hopefully, I'll hav the real photo tomorrow.

Bye fer now!

Crismos is coming (the Dilly is getting fat...)

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: yes
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 8/10 (poor)
• Day Score: 7/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

I don't think I menshonned that I did my letter to Farther Crismos resently. If yu havent alreddy dun yours it's a bit late now. Yu may as well hit the pre-season sales an get what yu want yorself. Enyway, heer is wat I wrote (not much, as I'm a very Resonabol Bear)...

"Dear Farver Crismos,

"Hullo it's Bob T. Bear (esq.) heer. I've been a gud Bear agen an if enywun sez I've not then it's a lie, an yu shuddent giv THEM enything for starters. (Ar yu going to arsk Dilly?)

"I hope yu ar having a nice holiday.

"Please this year can I hav a noo futbol shert. Mr. Scally, the twit ov silly-futbol-chairman fame has stopt them selling proper kits fer bears, but just a T-shert wiv "Gills" on it will do.

"An an an if possibol, cud I hav sumthing to do wiv Spongebob Squarepants an also sumthing about Lisa Simpson (sheez luvley).

"If yu want, we can do the saym arrangement as larst year re. the refreshments- I'll leev a minse pie an sum whiskie by the fireplace, an yu can leev the choklit peanuts by my bed.

"Thank yu!

"Signed,

"Bob T. Bear (esq.)"

I wonder if Dilly has dun hers yet.

Bye fer now!