WARNING: This blog is ritten in Bear English, wich is phonetic. An that is mor than yu can say abowt the werd "phonetic".
Showing posts with label ears. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ears. Show all posts

Saturday, October 04, 2008

It must be Grandparent week!

Yesterday's scores:
  • Gills: no
  • Simpsons: yes
  • Tesco: no
  • Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: we've all bin too bizzy reedin the brillyent Captain Underpants book that Stanley an Stella sent us!! /10
  • Day Score: 7.84291/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Oh deer! In fakt, oh deer oh deer! Becos thare ar 2 things to say "oh deer" about. So, do I say "Oh deer, oh deer." together, like that. Or, do I say "Oh deer!" then paws, an then say "Oh deer!" agen. Or, perhaps, do I jus say "Oh deerS" an leev the number open???? Hmm... skomplicaytid stuff, is langwidge.

ENYWAY. My ferst "oh deer" is that it seems I did not blog all week. No post since Sunday, an I wassent eevn on a nice hollyday sumwhare. Criminol! SO I am sorry bowt that.

My secund "oh deer" is that I may hav offendid sum peepol in my larst post. I meen...a week an ownly 8 comments? C'mon, guys. That feels like a suttol way ov sayin sumthing like, "Now look heer, yu cheeky yung Bear [at least, I wud HOPE that yu wud capitolize 'Bear', no matter how annoyd yu ar wiv wun ov the speesheez], now look heer, I serpport that fine Mr McCain an I don't think it's funny that yu ar rood abowt him."

If this is the cayse, then I do apologize.

Look, I'm ownly littol. I don't meen to be rood to enywun. Well, that's not striktly troo: Koalas. Koalas I HAV to be rood to, becos they go arownd tellin peepol they ar Bears an they're not, they ar silly beak-nosed-tree-huggers that poo soup on torrists' heds an eevn fall asleep mid-streem. But uther than them, an the odd cheatin scum opponent footballer, I don't meen to upset enywun.

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Just remindid me of a camel, s'all. :@}

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Enyway!

Granny-Ireland an Grandad-Poppa went to Rhodes for 2 weeks an ownly went bak home to Ireland on Thursday. BUT! They flew into London on Wendzday, an rang me up an sed, "Hullo thar, wee fella! Wud yee be wontin to com to Lundon for a wee dinner then?"

WOW! Dinner in Lundon wiv Granny-Ireland an Grandad-Poppa! Brillyant! I waz so exsytid! I put my newest an bestest jumper on an ran to the car!!

It waz grayte to drive rownd Lundon at nite. We sor all the faymuss bits all lit up an glowin! Then we all met up at a littol Italyun place near Victoria called L'Arco. The food waz yum! The dizzerts wer sooper-yum!

Heer's me an Dilly wiv Granny-I an Poppa:

I'm a bit big-eyed cos Grandad-Poppa had an espresso an I tryd sum ov it. It's weird stuff. Sort ov the grayvy ov the coffee werld. I dident blink agen till we wer harf way home.

Mummy an Daddy? Oh, yeah. They wer thare too. But ownly cos I'm too small to reech the peddols in the car. Jhee jhee jhee!

They talkt abowt us all goin to Ireland at the end ov the munth for a holiday. Wenever an wharever we go on hollyday it's allways cold wet an rainy, so we mite as well. HAHAHAHAHA! See, told yu I'm a cheeky Bear!

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Weer off to our uther Granny's today, the wun that's Mummy's mummy an carfters Mummy's cats cos they like her big garden.

It will be the ferst time we see them all since Orgust an Mummy carnt wayte to see Fluffy an pik her up an sniff her toze. (Lor, sheez weird.)

So wa-heyy! 3 Grandparents in 4 days! At leest the English wun knows not to strayten my eers owt, like the Irish wun kept doin. Mummy had to explayne to her, I'm a spy, an I need to be reddy for all evenchewalitys, an that means WUN ear forwerd an WUN ear bak!!!!!

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Gillingham ar playin today- kik off 3pm British Summer Time. Pleez hav yor bloo pants at the reddy an on in time. If yu get cort short an ferget till the larst minit, don't panick, jus put them on yer hed. It's funny, but waring them on yor HED seems to be EEVN lukkier than waring them on yor bottom-an-bits. Try it! Get on a bus in the rush-hour an thare won't be a seat in site. But don a pair ov lukky bloo pants on yer hed an TAH-DAAH! Instantly, peepol moov owt ov the way for yu. It's MAGIC!

Bye for now :@)

Friday, March 28, 2008

EARS

Yesterday's scores:
  • Gills: no
  • Simpsons: yes
  • Tesco: no
  • Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 10! Ha! /10
  • Day Score: 7/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS

i.beati arskt me the uther day to explayne my "uther ear". So I told her I wud do a speshol post fer her abowt it.

I normally look like this:

But I had Mummy tayke this foto speshly to show I hav both ears:
Thing is, yu can tell alot abowt a furry person jus by lookin at 'em. As yu probly kno by now, realness is all in the kneez. If yor Bear haz kneez, he is real. Utherwise he just a teddy. Teddys wer inventid for small children to carfter wile they ar goin throo the chewy* stayge. They ar trayning devices, reelly. Yu wuddent want to expose a REAL Bear to such dayngers as teething an poo-filld pants. (Hehehehe.) So they hav teddys till they ar old enuff for the hewge responsibility ov adoptin a Bear.

Enyway. Next, the ears. Kwite simply, if yu hav wun ear forward an wun ear bak yu ar reddy for all evenchewalitys. For this reeson, if yor furry person is a spy, he will definitly hav his ears this way.

Now. Tayke a look at this groop foto, tayken larst nite. See if yu can spot hoo mite be a spy:

OK?

Now heer ar the arnsers. See how yu got on!

from left to rite:

me- yes; Daddy Windowsill Bear- yes; LBBBJ- no; Mummy Windowsill Bear- yes; Dilly- yor gess is as good as mine; Sam- possibly; Grayum-no.


I hope this explaynes things. Now, go chek yor Bears.

N.B.

Pleez remember that yor Bear carnt tell yu hoo he is a spy FOR, or heel hav to kill yu.

Bye fer now!


*I don't meen this Chewy, wich is an artist, not a stayge.