Scrummy dizzerts.... an HELPPPPP!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: No
• Simpsons:yes
• Tesco: no
  
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 6 (I waz hewmerin Zed) /10
• Overall Score: 7.26115/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!!!

Lots haz been goin on heer at Granny's.

At the weekend, Daddy cayme to vizit. Do yu kno, he went to Football on the way- WIVOWT ME!!!!! Onnistly. I am owt ov his site for wun week an allreddy he is off doing stuff wivowt me. It jus shows yu. I am a much under-apryshyaytid Bear. Sumtimes I find myself wundering if he reelly diserves me.

Enyway.... on SUnday we awl went for a drive. We went down lots ov country laynes to show Granny the larst ov all the ortum leevs. It waz fun an we sor lots ov bunnys.

We stoppt at a crarft sentor an had Sunday Lunch. I waz a very geneross Bear (as is my ilk) an I shared all my dizzerts:

Heer is me sharin my coffee an walnut cayke wiv Daddy:
Heer is me sharin my lemon cheezcayke wiv Granny:
Heer is me sharin my treekol tart wiv Mummy:

See? I's geneross. I's WELL geneross.

This Sunday we ar awl goin bak home! An we ar taykin Granny too! She is coming to stay for a week. We ar also goin to bring the cats to liv wiv us now as they needs lots ov carfterin.
Heer is ware I need yor urgent help!!!! Dilly keeps tryin to put catnip on me!!!!! She is eevn runnin a poll abowt it on her blog. Pleez can yu go an vote "NO"!!! I'm allreddy small an the sayme culler as a mowsie. Mr Scooter an Miss Fluffy don't need eny mor encurridgement!!!!

Bye fer now!

Granny home!

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: No
• Simpsons: No: Granny duzzent seem to watch it!
• Tesco: no
  
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: Mummy sez I shuddent play this on Granny wile sheez not well (but I rekkon it wud cheer her up) /10
• Overall Score: 7 (thare waz cayke) /10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!!!

We've fetched Granny home from the hopsikol! She is ok but tyerd. She duzzent reelly remember mutch bowt wat happend to her.

The laydy in the hopsikol sed that Granny haz to put on sum wayte an gayve her a leeflet bowt stuff to eet. Me an Dilly hav been studyin it. It approovs ov biskits an shoogar an things, so I hope we get to stay heer longer as it sownds like it cud be gud!

Daddy is bak home cos he is at werk, but Mummy is heer. She is helpin to carfter Granny an keepin an eye on her in cayse she duzzent feel well. She also is taykin care ov the cats and cookin dinner an stuff like that.

Granny is ok but a bit kwyert. She sez she is angry at herself for gettin ill but I sed, that's silly, it's just yor tern to be carftered, that's all. So put yor feet up an enjoy the cayke!

Peepol keep bringin flowers. It's startin to look like Kew Gardens in heer. Mutch mor vegetayshun an I shall hav an indor loo. HAHAHAHAHA!
Dilly keeps inspektin the flowers in thare varzes. I never knew she waz a flower arrayngin expert but I spoze I shud hav gesst. It's gud reelly as evry now an then she is flarged by all the leevs an for sum blissful moments it's like Dilly is invissibol HAHAHAHA!
Mummy keeps arrayngin the flowers *her* way, an then Dilly keeps taykin all the pink flowers owt an puttin them in a varze on thare own.

Mummy bort sum Chrismoss Mince Pies today. Bit errly, but yu hav to tayste all the possibilitys in time so yu kno wat type to get for Chrismoss, don't yu. Theez wuns hav got brandy an arlmonds in them. I'm abowt to have wun. I shall nuke it in the microwayve ferst an then put a bit ov creem on it. SLURP! I'll do wun for Granny too. Sheel like that.

Bye fer now!

Sum mor grayte sights!!!!

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: no
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 7 that Sam is defnitly cheetin- I'm shor he waz far mor serprized than he sed./10
• Day Score: ooooooo, 7 ish/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

I fergot that Daddy had a camra too, this hollyday, cos Mummy got him wun for his berfday larst munth. He loaded his fotoes up today an wa-heyy!! Look hoo I fergot!!!-Hehehe! Can yu see me? Heer I am-This waz a VERY TALL laydy Bear in a Indian Sari. She waz in a shop in Buxton. The shop waz very small an also had sum VERY SMALL Bears, too. An lots ov crarfty stuff, like buttons an beads an ribbons, an uther gerly stuff like that.

The laydy had a saluki-dog calld Jess. Jess had a puppy larst munth an had him wiv her that day. Duzzent she look nice?-

That sayme day we went into a littol shoppin senter in Buxton- it waz in a bildin that yewst to be a swimmin pool! Chek owt the seelings!-

Mummy waz mor intrestid in this cat, wich wanderd up an down the Hi Street. I think he livd in wun ov the flats over the shops or the howses behind them. He waz very frendly. I think he waz wundring wy evrywun waz in his yard. We sor him nippin owt for a walk at nite, too. He sertinly aktid like he ownd the street an knew all the nooks an crannys.

On Wendzday we went to Bakewell. Over heer (I don't kno if yu see them in Merryka or Ostraylia or Frarnce or uther playces) we get a nice dezert calld Bakewell Tart: Yu mayke it by doin paystry, then line it wiv frooty jam, then por on sum sponge mix that's got egg an grownd almons in it an it's almondy flayverd an yum, then sprinkol sliced almons on top. Then bake it. Slurp! Then yu eet it hot wiv ice creem, or custerd, or cold like a cake wiv creem. It's yum! Enyway, I digress! Bakewell is whare the tart comes from....In Bakewell they cook it like I jus sed, but also uther ways as well- so they had sum wiv icin on top, sum wiv creem on top, an sum that had paystry on the top as well as the bottom an theez types wer calld Bakewell PUDDINGS-An look hoo I met inside the puddin shop!!! He waz gardin the goodies!!I met sum ov his starff. They wer a mad bunch, all hi on shugar, I think!! Hehe!Bakewell tarts an puddings ar so grayte they eevn hav their own spot on Wikipedia, heer!

Ahhh... wat next? Oh! I kno! I diffrent type ov puddin compleetly! Look! We went for a stroll rownd a villidge calld Tissington an I think a horse wiv a bad tummy had been thare befor us. He dropt a few puddins ov his own, all along the layne! Throw my arms up at him!HAHAHAHA!

Daddy sed I wassent to post that wun but heez gon to bed allreddy. So thare. Enyway, hooz blog izit? Hehe!

Bye fer now!

Nice to hav frends!

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: yes, a kwik trip for mor washin detergent, cos ov the amownt ov washin bak-log thare is!
  
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 9.5/10
• Day Score: 7/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Look wat arrivd Saterday mornin!

I took it to Granny's wiv me, cos wenever I tell her that I get my own mail, she larfs. Well, I showd her this, an she STILL larft!! Granny's can be a bit confewsin!

It had Winnie The Pooh stikkers on it, all over the frunt an bak!!!Look!

It's my pawtrayte from Chewy!!! She sent it to me!! WOWWWEEE!

Howzis for a likeness?HEHEHE! PANTS!

Oh look, a letter, too! An wiv harts on, teehee!

Awww Chewy sent me my own foto ov her!(heheee...heee.... I like gettin stuff from pritty laydezz....!)

An she did a Celtic Hart speshly for me, too:Awwwww thanks, Chewy!

I'm gonna get it all framed!

Chewy incloodid sum sampols ov payper for Mummy, too, for her to do crarfty stuff wiv. She waz reelly pleezd wiv that- kept her kwyert for a wee wile, that did! Hehe! I'm lukky to hav nice frends, all rownd the werld!

Arfter I'd opend it all, Granny opened up sum Bear Biscuits for us all!! Theez wer yum! The tummys an toes wer vanilla fondant stuff. Slurp!

***

Unkol Roy arrivd on Sunday. He had been teechin in West Sussex. His job endid so he is stayin at Granny's now till he gets anuther wun. Daddy took a foto ov him wiv Mummy an Granny, in the garden:That's Scooter's bak legs thare, behind Mummy! Peepol hav arskt me abowt the cats so heer's a better pikcher ov him-Heer is the uther wun, Mrs Fluffy. )They ar reelly Mummy's cats but they liv wiv Granny. It waz goin to be temporary but then Granny luvd them an dident want to giv them bak! Never mind! Granny haz a luvly big garden for them, an Mummy gets them their food an vet stuff. Enyway, heer is Mrs Fluffy:)An this is whare they both wantid to sit wile Daddy an Granny wer eetin sum salmon:-Granny arkst Mummy to moov them but insted she took a pikcher! Hehe!

Hehehe!

***

Daddy flew off to Ireland larst nite so it's kwyert rownd heer. Me an the uther Bears ar going to yews the time to werk on our Olympik Synkronized Sitting Rooteen.

Bye fer now!

Anuther new Bear!

Weekend's scores:

• Gills: YES- we played Port Vale, wich issent eevn a playse!!! An we lost 2 - 1 cos they're cheatin scum.
• Simpsons: nope
• Tesco: yes, fer petrol
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 5 (waz traynin new Bears, an let them win a few times.) /10
• Overall Score:7 ish /10
• Advent Calendar Pikcher: Saterday- laydy on a donkey an a man wiv a stik; Sunday- Man carryin cheez on his hed. Onnist, it waz.

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Well, me, Daddy, Grayum an the new skwotter, Mulligan, dropt Mummy off at Granny's an then all went to football. We lost. An it ternd out to be Mummy's fawlt, as she dident ware her Lukky Bloo pants. She sad she had washt them the day befor an they wer still damp. Wat kind ov excewss is that? They wud soon hav got dry wiv the warmth of the buttok area. Wimen! Onnistly! Sumtimes I jus think they carnt think ov stuff.

Enyway....

Wen we got bak to Granny's we diskuverd that a new Bear had arrived thare! He is a small Grizzly, an got there in his very own tardis all the way from Alaska. He brort his own salmon wiv him, too:

His nayme is Sam J. West.

Grayum went to meet him:

"Hullo! I'm Grayum! How do yu do?"

Granny bort sum carrot cayke speshly for us:

Sam is on a mishon to discuver things. So far he has discuverd carrot cayke (an wat happens wen yu try to nik my bit), cats, cars, tunnels, an pants. I introdewst him to the latter myself.

He has discuverd camras, too, an he duzzent like them. He seems to get spookt by them:

Well. He has come home wiv us. Dilly is a tad mifft abowt this, as she sez 2 mor Bears iz 2 Bears 2 menny. Mind yu, she also sez that 2 is 2 menny 2, let alone 2 2 menny. Not that she reelly knows wat 2 is. An theez 2 dident eevn bring her eny bows.

But it's been kwite fun, now I'm over the shok ov their appeerants, to teech them abowt frolickin pants, an serprize nose-hugs, an "Bear! Not-a-Bear!", an sneekin up on Dilly, an all that sorta thing.

An I've been tellin them bowt things to avoyd, too, ov corse. Wich brings me to a kwestchun from Ms Creek an A.bananna, abowt wat a Vomit Sok is.

Well peeps, a vomit sok is baysickly wun ov Daddy's yewsd soks. Wun day, wen mummy waz eetin cheese (wich she luvs, but Daddy haytes an I ownly like wiv Marmite on toast) he sed, "I jus don't understand how enywun can eet sumthing that smells like my feet!" To wich Mummy replyd, "But yor feet don't smell ov cheese, darlin, they smell ov vomit."

Hence, "vomit socks". See also, "Guard Socks".

Bye fer now!

Off on a mersy mishon....

Hullo peeps!

Me an Mummy ar off to Granny's for a cuppol ov days. Weer goin to tayke Fluffy to the vet. She had a opperayshun larst week. Now we hav to find owt how she is. I'm goin along to administer hed hugs if needid.

Meenwile, hope yu enjoy reedin abowt larst week's berfday pressies (scroll down!)! I'll try to file a report from the library compewter in town. But we shud be bak midweek, an then I'll catch up with visitin yu all. Hope yu don't feel I've abandund yor blogs!

Bye fer now!

Advice on an impendin cat

I've reseevd an emayle from Little Ted, arskin fer sum advice. Heer is wat he rites:

Hello Bob, I have been enjoying reading your blog very much. I wish I could keep a diary too!! Anyway I have a problem you might help with. I live with lots of other bears and one not-a-bear. But just lately a ginger pussy cat has been spending a lot of time in our flat. The not-a-bear feels sorry for him as he's a little neglected. But I don't want this cat moving in and taking the place of me as chief hug giver. Plus the not-a-bear neglects the fact that she's allergic to the cat!! Well she's not allergic to me or the other bears so that's much better for her and for the hugs, don't you think? So what do i do about the cat?

Littleted

PS, Attaching a photo of me and my friend Bert. I'm the one in the red jumper.

Hmm...well, Little Ted, that's a bit ov a pozer. As yu ar wun ov menny Bears in the howse, I suggest yu hold a General Howse Meetin Ov Bears immeedietly. Do so in a room wiv no TV an no pants, so that things get underway kwikly, wivowt distrakshun.

I think yor best way forwerd is (a) find owt wy she likes the cat, and (b) go on strike.

(a) Is it jus coz the cat looks neglektid? If so, scruff yorself(s) up as much as possibol, breev in so yu look starvd an hang arownd the fridge maykin groanin noyzes. It werks fer skoolkids evry Munday mornin, it cood werk fer yu. Soon she will be overcome wiv gilt at neglektin YU an will giv yu all her attenshun fer a wile. Hopefully Ginge will get bored waytin an find sumwun else to carfter him.

Iz it cos he is fluffy an soft? If so, roll yorself up in wun ov her softist jumpers, or her silkiest pants. Come to think ov it, this larst idea will mayke yu feel betta, enyway.

If it is jus coz she feels sorry fer him (femayles, speshaly, ar prone to this, I've notist) drag owt the Yellow Pages an leev them open on the "cat shelter" page. If ther is mor than wun page, pik the wun with the pik of the happyest lookin cats.

(b) As well as Cheef Hugger (wich I can see from yor fur, iz a post yu carry owt seeriosly an wiv due enthewsiasm) do yu hav eny other sponsibilitys? Like, fer exampol, I am tishoo-ishooer, navigaytor (on the dashbord on car jernys) an Keeper Ov The Shoppin List. If yu hav eny pozishuns on wich she relys, go on strike.

I'm afrayde yu mite hav to come to a compromise on this in the end. Cats do hav a way ov creepin in. Get yor side in ferst, kwik! Nayle yor demards to the dor ov the fridge. Or yews stiky taype, if this sownds too medievol. Yu shud inclood theez:

1. that yor pozishun of Cheef Hugger is safe
2. ginge gets his own bed (akchoolly this is REELLY important. Given their own freedom, cats sleep all over the playce, all the time. Mr Scooter, fer exampol, won't sleep in the sayme playce fer mor than a day. He sez he duzzent like playsis that hav cat hair all over them.)
3. he duzzent get to yews yu as a pillo an yu don't hav to be his frend (I knew a Welsh Bear, Ivor, hoo befrendid a cat. His eers never grew bak.)
4. Ginge gets de-flead (contray to the rewmor, the best anmols ar NOT the wuns wiv bilt-in lodgers.)

Hide rownd the corner an wotch as she reeds it. Wen she looks her giltiest, pop owt an mayke yor eyes reelly big. Never fayles. Sheel be huggin yu agen in no time. An jus rememba, YU wer there ferst. If she trys to tell yu that cats can be fun, tell her abowt Ivor, or arsk that Ginge comes wiv a saddol attatcht so that yu can go ridin, hav fun, an show him hooz boss from day wun!

All the best, LT! Good luk, an let us kno how it goze.

The Visit!

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: too bizzy entertaynin (I'm a very entertaynin Bear)
• Tesco: no (an I bet they wud hav liket it too)
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: see "Simpsons" /10
• Day Score: 8.537692/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!


It was fun havin Arnty Anna an Littol Kevin to stay. Me an daddy met them at the trayne stayshun an insted ov comin strayte home, we went to feed hazelnuts to the skwirrols at Colchester Carsol. Heer's wun....

I spottid this cunnin Bear Bush wyle we wer there an was very pleezd to see it was surrowndid by marigolds (but nun ov them as big as my wuns).

Wen we got bak Arnty Anna showd us lots of foto's ov her famly in Ireland, incloodin this wun ov her MAD cat, Lily. This wun is her as a kitten. Apparantly, she tryd to get in this pot wen she was a bit bigger an broke it gettin out.

Then we had dinner an CHOKLIT CAYKE. Unfortewnitly, most ov the other Bears wer still in hydin, so I had to eet theirs. Ahem.

Wen it was bedtyme, I arskt Littol Kevin if he had rememberd to bring a Cuddly, as he was ownly 6, an I waz goin to arsk arownd fer a volunteer if he had fergotten. But he sed, "Ah, no, akchewally, I hav wun in my bag...." so I went off to meet whoever it was.

I thort it mite be a Bear, or a monkey, or a rabbit or sumthing. But it was a Dolphin calld Dolphi. I was a tad nervuss at ferst cos wen he waz ownly harlf way out the bag he lookt like a Killer Wayle.... I'd never met a reel lyve Dolphin befor, so I dident kwite kno how to greet him. But I settold on a pat on the fin....

(I fergot to arsk if it waz ok to put their foto's on heer, hense I had to chop off Littol Kevin's hed.) (Ownly in the foto.)

Arfter we awl went to bed, Mummy stayd up an drew a pikcher ov Littol Kevin's sister, from wun of Arnty Anna's foto's. Wat do yu think?

I am so tyerd now I cud hybernayte! HAHAHAHAHAHA! (bit ov Bear hewmor there).

Bye fer now!