A few werds from Bob

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: yes
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 30 (on accownt ov it bein Bob's berfday) /10
• Day Score: 9/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Bob is a bit tyerd arfter all the eggsytment ov the larst few days, so I sed I'd pop in heer an do the word thing for him. I knew yu'd want to kno wat he got for his berfday, see.

To be diffrent, I thort I'd intervew him an rite wat he sed heer.
Wunce I'd cut owt the cheeky bits, the fart jokes, an the stuff abowt wat a grayte Bear he is, thare wassent mutch left. But heer it is.

Age.

Me: Peepol want to kno how old yu ar, Bob. Ar yu cumffterbal tellin them?
Bob: Yor ownly as old as the pants yu feel.
Me: Not shor they'll understand that, Bob.
Bob: OK well, I'm 8 then.
Me: Am I rite in thinkin yu wer 8 larst yeer, too?
Bob: yeah, that's rite. As yu kno, Gray, wen yor a Bear, yu can be wat aige yu want. I liket bein 8, so I thort I'd stay thare for a bit.


Eggsytment

Me: Arfter the Wembley win on Saterday, waz yor berfday as good?
Bob: It waz a bit like my cuzzin Michael, hoo haz his berfday at Crismoss. Sum peepol think that meens it issent as good, but reelly it's eevn better cos it's an eevn bigger sellybrayshun than wat uther peepol get for their berfday.

Presents

Me: An wat DID yu get for yor berfday?
Bob: Oh, jus show them the fotoes for this bit.
Me: OK.

This card waz from all us Bears:

This card waz from Dilly. She mayde it herself.

This card was from Bob's Mummy an Daddy:

Now for the presents.......
Dilly gayve Bob theez plastik flys.

Henri, Bob's French cuzzin, gayve him theez cheeky biskits:

The Windowsill Bears gayve him this book:It's grayte. It's all all abowt old Bear famly fotoes.
Theez choklits wer from Bob's Daddy:Yu can jus see me in this nex foto, chekkin them owt!!!They had creem inside- look!!
Sam gayve him a payper bag:Oh! Sorry! Sam gayve him Gummy Bears!
I got him this big choklit cayke!
He got kwite a hord, dident he?!

In this foto larst pikcher, yu can just abowt see wat his Mummy gayve him-
she croshayed him a new bloo scarf.
I thort this waz kwite good, reelly, as she ownly startid lernin to croshay 2 weeks ago.
I remember my Granny Grayum yewst to do that.
I hope Mrs Helena keeps it up.
I'd kwite like to hav my own scarf.

Bak to the intervew...

Plastik Flys.

Me: Wat on erth ar yu goin to do wiv wat yor sister gayve yu, Bob?
Bob: I'm goin to hide them rownd the playse, like, in Daddy's Weetabix.

An Finerly...

Me: Eny messidge for the peepol owt thare?
---
---
Me: OK, enything I can rite down?
Bob: Heheehehehe!!! [rolls off sofa]
Me: Weel leev it thare then!

Bye all!!!!!!!!

Tryin to find sumwun an tryin to trayne sumwun else.

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: yay! We got anuther not-a-looz, 2 goals all!
  
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: yes, we ran out ov cow-jooce
  
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 10 HAZAAR! /10
• Day Score: 7.7832/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Hey! Whare did Blue go?? Her blog has disappeerd! Wat's happend? Duzz enyway kno? Blue?? Ar yu owt thare???? I hope yu ar OK! Sendin yu speshol nose hugs, ok?

*** *** *** *** ***

Meenwile...... hav yu seen wat Dilly is up to on her blog? Sheez doin anuther poll! Pah! An this time it's.... it's... well I carnt eevn go thare. WHAT the? Sumtimes I think she livs in a littol werld ov her own. A green wun, wiv pink bows on it.

Enyway. So. I've investid in a new book.Bye fer now!

Thankyu, Stanley an Stella!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: no
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 9.5/10
• Day Score: 7.216/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Look! Look! Look wat the PostBear brort to us today!!!!!

It's a parsol from STANLEY & STELLA of GOOBERSTAN!!!!!!!!

It's to both ov us. But it's reelly well rapt an Dilly is too yung for sizzers:

Wayte a minit!! Lots ov PINK stuff inside! Dilly got all eggsytid...

Hurrayyy!..... fotoes ov Stella an Stanley! An.... oh deer Lor, pink stuff! Dilly lay abowt in it goin worra worra worra....

They sent lots ov crarfty stuff, too, an Dilly injoyd inspektin eech beed individewlly an gayve eech wun her approoval:

Stella mayde her a necklace wich waz a pink ribbon an a silver bone wiv a sissy hart on it...tsk! But Dilly luvs it!Hmmmm.... wat else is in heer? Must be sumthing not pink in heer!!!

OH WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Look wat book they sent me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wa-heyyy!!!!!!! Capten UNDERPANTS!!!!! Oh my! A sooperheero in PANTS!!! I jus KNEW thare wud be wun!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!

They sent us sum magnets for the frunt ov the fridge, too! Wun haz Stanley's goober face on it, an the uther is ov a sleepy Bear wiv a cup of tea!

I got that Bear as a pin, too! Mummy reelly likes this, cos he has a sleepy cat on his lap!

We both got grayte letters from Stanley an Stella....

Oh wow! Wat a fantastikly pantayshus parsol! Thank yu SO MUTCH, STANLEY AN STELLA!!!! Yu ar grayte buddys. Wat a brillyent surprize! This is wunderfulabewlistik! WA-HEYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm goin to study my new book now.....

Bye fer now!!!!!!!!!!!

WA-HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bear Hums

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: yes, layte nite ride fer petrol. I kwite like the layte-nite trips. They're eggsytin.
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 9.5/10
• Day Score: 7.45896/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Wen yor plannin a good think, get yerself cumfterbol ferst, perhaps wiv a faythfol pair ov pants.

If yu ar a skoller ov Mr Winnie T Pooh (ooh! Look at that! He haz the sayme middol nayme as me. I wunder if weer relaytid...) yu will hav herd ov Bear Hums. Mr Pooh tendid to veer towards Hums that endid in things like "Tiddly-pom". Hence:

The mor it snows tiddly pom
The mor cold my toes tiddly pom
Are becoming.

This construkshun is a handy way ov coverin up things. Offen it covers up seekrit thorts, an espeshly seekrit thinkin. Like, wen yu don't want peepol to kno yor thinkin, let alone WAT yor thinkin. Heers another exampol, strate owt ov that epic, The House At Pooh Corner:

Tra-la-la, tra-la-la,
Tra-la-la, tra-la-la,
Rum-tum-tum-tiddle-um.

An untraynd eevsdropper mite be led to think that this is the mutterins ov a nutter. AHA! Yu see? So if he wer a sooper-spy wiv an IQ like that skweeky bloke that goze rownd in a chare rytin books abowt the yewniverse, yood never serspekt it, wood yu? So ther yu ar, yu see. Ther is mor to a Bear Hum than meets the eer.

I prefer the mor modern classiks, bein as I am a modern, up-to-the-minit cosmo Bear. Wun ov my fayvrits is

Laaaaaaaaaaa-laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-laaaaaaaaaaa-la-la-la-laaaaaaaaaaa
La-la-la-laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He-eyyy Jooood.
Laaaaaaaaaaa-laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-laaaaaaaaaaa-la-la-la-laaaaaaaaaaa
La-la-la-laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He-eyyy Jooood.

Wich can be repeetid ad-in-fin-eye-tum. An offen is. Wun eevnin I was doin such intense seekrit thinkin that our naybers bangd on the wall.

Ware ar yor Bears now? Probly on the bed, or watchin telly, or sniffin owt a fresh pot plarnt. (Or, oviossly, in the pant dror, but that wud meen they're havin a well-ernd brayke from Deep Thinkin, an duzzent cownt.) Tip-toe over to ware they ar now, an see if yu can detekt a Hum. But don't interrupt: it cud well meen that they ar considerin wat to get yu fer Crismoss.

Bye fer now!

Intreeeging Read

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: no- she dragged me rownd other, non-Tesco establishments. Huh!
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 9/10
• Day Score: 7.8396/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Ah, wat a perfict epilog to yestaday's post abowt shopping!

We had a parsel deliverd this mornin, fokes. Well, wen I say deliverd, I mean shuved throo the letter box wiv blue accompanyment from the postman. An wen I say blue, I don't mean Thelonius Monk. No. I mean, Heavens to Dilly, don't nok on the door, will yu. Or ring the bell. No. Jus shuv fer all yor werth. It's oviously the ownly exercise yu get outside of climbing in an out of yor van. Hey ho. Enyway, underneath the layer of shredded brown paper, I fownd this book.

Do yu recognise it?

.....yup, it is ritten by nun other than David McMahon of Authorblog fame.

Ha! Gotcha Dave!

We orderd it from Linux an it took 9 days to get heer. Wen we Bears hav finished wiv it, we'll pass it on to Mummy. She arskt how it was so far, an I told her it was terrific. I mean, I've ownly red 3 pages, but with the werd 'bumcrack' in the second sentence, I jus KNOW it's on my wavelength.

Bye fer now!

Pullitzer Prize Material

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: no
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 9.5/10
• Day Score: 7.392/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Daddy brort home a great new book for me, all about PANTS!!! But not just eny pants, ROYAL PANTS!!!! Wa-heyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!! Here it is-

It says that the laydy hoo looks arfter the Queen's pants is called "Dilys". HAAAAAhahaha! Dilly dident like this idea. She sez pants are Silly Bear Nonsense. Just the thort of it made her snowt bend in the middol. This jus made it even better!

The book sez that the Queen has pants fer all diffrent occayzjuns. It even gives a Pant Identity Wall Chart, (jus like mine):

It's not often that I'm lost fer werds on pantayshusness, but even I had to pause in admirayshun at these wuns:

WOW! Do yu think the small parachute is for her Bear?

I'm off to read mor....

Bye fer now!

Hibernayshun Query

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: no
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 10/10
• Day Score: 8/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

I've had a query from Leon-

Leon said...
Dear Mr. Bear,Shouldn't you be hibernating or don't English bears do that?
March 03, 2007 11:51 AM

Not indoor Bears, Leon, no. At least not yewzually. So long as we keep warm. I did hav to sleep more during January and February cos the heating rownd here broke down. Even my Hug Pants weren't enuff. But normally I'd be up an abowt an struttin my stuff all year.

There's nothing like curling up in a few favrit pants an a good book

Bye fer now!

My Book

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: no
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: suspendid due to snot
• Day Score: 6/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

As I hav a cold I am mostly stayin in bed reading. This got me thinking about my favrit book. On my profile page it arskt about my favrit books. I put that "The Day Bob Was Cold" by Bob T Bear (esq) was my probly my favrit. Ha! An thanks to scanner teknollogy, I am now abol to bring it to you all. Enjoy!

- here are the frunt an bak covers -

and pages 1 an 2, etc.:

WaHeyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now yu can see wy it's such a grate buk: it contayns 2 ov my favrit things- PANTS (frolicking of) and BEARS!

Bye fer now!