Book, enywun?

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: yes, the littol wun, cos they wer gettin seeriossly low on cow jooss.
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: bizzy /10
• Day Score: 7.83972/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

We went fer a drive to the seaside, at a playse calld Aldeburgh. Aldeburgh haz beechis full ov so menny pebbols yu'd think yu'd wonderd off the roade into a fludded kworry, wiv a few lost boates bobbin abowt.

We ownly stayd neer the sea to admire the stones fer a few minits, as the gayle force wind sort ov detraktid from the expeerience just a tad. But we did go explorin the shops, incloodin a littol cafe calld "The Cabin" wher Mummy had the "All Day Breakfast" an neerly showd us all up by giggling at the waytressis, hoo kept arguing an givin eech other bad looks. (She sed she did feel sorry for them, but it waz like wotchin Fawlty Towers.)

Still, at leest it waz entertaynment wile we wayted harf an hour fer our tea an fodder. I was far mor intrestid in the way her bottom waz escaypin from her skirt, both abuv an below it. (Wun ov the waytressis, not Mummy, hoo prefers to keep eny lumpy bits Well Tuckt In An Coverd. Unlike the current trend fer lettin it all hang owt an entertaynin eny small Bears in the visinity. Wa-heyy!)

Mummy mayde a cuppol ov perchessis in the shops, wun extreemly good, an the other extreemly poor.

They wer both fer my cuzzin, Alex, hoo will be 7 next munth. I like Alex. He haz oringe hair an a toy dog calld Spike.

Heer iz the extreemly exsllent perchess, the berfday card, wich I'm shor yu'll agree is beary exsllent indeed:

Heer iz the embarrassingly poor perchess, the present (er....the book, not me.):

Did yu see the mistayke?

Aha! That's rite! Alex is ALREDDY SIX, Mummy, so there's no poynt in getting THIS book fer his NEXT berfday. D'oh! Eevn if he WUD kwite like the storeez in it, yung persons ar kwite sensitiv abowt wether they ar 6 or 7, so he won't be wontin "HA HA YOR STILL 6" ritten all over the frunt ov a present fer his 7th Berfday.

On spottin her errer, she sed that I can hav the book. Wat an insult! I waz reeding far beyond this age groop a few yeers ago! Tsk! (Yu kno, wen I say I am unda-appyshyaytid rownd heer, she looks at me like I don't kno wat I'm talkin abowt!)

So heer we ar- stuk with a book an no 6 yeer olds to giv it to.

So I cayme up with a plan:

Do yu hav eny 6 yeer olds owt there hoo wud like this book? If so, let me kno arfta this post an email me yor address an I'll send it to yu. Watever country, that duzzent matter. I mite eevn put a littol extra sumthin in the pakkidge too. Sumthing a bit Beary. Ferst come, ferst servd, so get ryting!

Bye fer now!