Bugs abowndin

Scores since Friday:

• Gills: YES!!! WE WON!!! 3-2 to Bristol Rovers (full nayme: Bristol, Rover the dog plays better). Thank yu to evrywun hoo wor bloo things speshally for serpport, an speshally the extra serpportiv bloo pants (hmm that sownds kwite comfy).
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: yes, jus the littol wun tho.
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score:10, on Saterdy. Havent dun menny since then./10
• Overall Score: probly abowt 8ish/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

I've been tryin to blog an the BT Internet "Home Hub" thingy duzzent let me. So I've jus been over an phwarrd a good karrarty chop on it, an now it seems to be werkin a bit betta.

Mummy issent well AGEN! I did wonder if I shud try the sayme tekneek on her, but perhaps not. Hehehee.

This time it is her assmah. I thort this ment that her bottom hert at ferst, but no, it meens she maykes weezy noyzes like the train in that old cartoon- yu kno the wun, wher it's goin up a steep hill an puffing away sayin "I think I can I think I can I think I can". Well, this is sort ov the sayme as Mummy tryin to go upstares at the moment. Sept wiv lots of coffs.

She thinks she may hav cort a bug on the plane bak from Ireland.

Heers an intrestin factoid: bak in the days wen peepol wer allowd to smoke on the plane, the air was replayced evry few minits wiv fresh air. Well, they stopt lettin peepol smoke on playnes cos it's far too dayngeruss for the small Bears on bord, an NOW they DON'T chaynge all the air, they chaynge sum ov it wiv fresh air an the rest they resykol, an they don't eevn do this as offen as befor. So, yu may think the air is cleener up ther, but it issent.

Wat this meens is that yu may think yu did well in not gettin a seat rite next to the snotty screemin 4 yeer old boy up the frunt, but reelly yu still get to breev in all his snotty germs. It's like a littol bonus they throw in for free.

Well Mummy thinks this has happend to her. An now she is coff coff coff, weez weez bleagh. Issent eevn temptid by choklit, wich proovs she issent well (that's the litmus test, that is.) Me an Dilly ar carfterin her agen, wiv lots ov tea an hed hugs. We also fownd her a littol raydio that she can lissen to in bed....

MEENWILE I hav fownd an intrestin card on the dor-mat:

I've had to blot owt my address, wat wiv bein a spy an all.

This meens that the local Postman & Postbear Team tryd to deliver me sumthing on Saterdy, wen I was at Granny's. Now I hav to go to the deppoe to pik it up. I've got my I.D. reddy: my parssport an my bizzness card. So I'll arsk Daddy if he can dryve me ther tonite!

I'm so eggsited!!! Mrs Nesbitt sed she had sent me sumthing. I wunder wat it is!!! HEHEHEE!

Bye fer now!

ps...

sorry if I havent been to visit yor blog fer a wee wile, cos at the moment I's very bizzy carfterin Mummy.... pleez BEAR wiv me (hehehe) an I will come an see yu soon!

Bit mor re Air Travol

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: yes, finally! I got to ride in the trolley. It waz a bit ov a rusht vizit, as the lites on the car hav broken, so we had to skoot arownd befor it got dark. Hehehee. Mummy puts her feet on the base ov the trolley and pushes herself up an down the isles goin "weeee". Hehehee. Bless.
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 10/10
• Day Score: 7.83946219547861356431/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Thank cew fer all yor messidges ov serpport fer Bobbus Bearus Maximus, hooz problim I feetcherd yestaday. I hav now had a reply from him, an wat a fine fello he looks too- this is he:

I'll let him explayne hoo the littol wuns sittin on his hed ar:

I thought yud like to see a pictur of me. Im a verry simlar color to Mr Grunter. Maybe when Im an old bear I will hav a yewneek nose shaype to. I sertenly get enuff cuddles. In the backgrownd yu can just abowt see my frends: Jorj and Pi. Jorj is a verry old bear. In fact hes aynshent. He has brite orrinj i's wich r a bit scary. Pi is an oktopus and he swam ashor at Jon a Growts wen we wer on holiday last year. He had bin cort in a fishermans net and had lost to legs and wossent doing verry well so we adopted him even tho hes notabear.

Thanks, Bobbus Bearus Maximus! Mummy waz a tad worreed at ferst that Pi waz a spider, an she duzzent like those. In fakt, she feeds them to the vacewm cleener.

Bobbus is still kwite yung but as yu can see, he is alreddy gettin the tell-tayle hugger-nose shape. This chaynge in nayzal dyrekshon can corze sumthin like arfrytus in Bears, an this can be treeted by rubbin on sum hunny. Wunse it's been on there fer an hour or so, yu can lik it off, or jus rub yor nose into a bit ov soft bred, and then that'll do yor lunch.

Enyway, Bobbus ashors us that if he goze to the airport he wil carry extra choklit to giv to them in exchaynge fer them not unstitchin him to investigayte his voyse box. He adds:

I will let yu no how I get on if I go on the plane at Krismas as Im shur other bears in my possishon wuld like to no.

Int that nise ov him?

I'm not shor ware he comes from, but he serpports Aberdeen Football so he mite be up in Scottyland. (WOW, I hav sum cuzzins up there!)

Oooo! Oooo! That reminds me! Gillingham ar playin tomorro, so on wiv yor bloo pants an stuff, evrywun! The gayme starts erly, at 12 noon. Those ov yu in USA, it mite be an idea to go to bed warin sumthing bloo, rather than get up an chaynge in the middol ov the nite.

Wa-heyyy!

Bye fer no!

Bears an Air Travol

Hullo Not-A-Bears!

I've reseevd a kweery from a Bear regardin Air Travol:

Hello Bob T. Bear. My name is also Bob. My Roman name is Bobbus Bearus Maximus coz I'm kwite a big bear and I like Romans.

Wy, hullo there, Bob! It is always nise to heer from a fello Bear, an I see yu ar also a fello Bob! An may I tayke this opportewnity to compliment yu on such a fine nayme!

Anyway I woz hoping yu cud giv me sum advis as yu seem a very nowlijable bear. My frend who looks after me wants to take me on a airoplane at krismas so we can visit her famlee. But, her boyfrend says that coz I hav a voys box inside my body the peepol at the airport mite not let me go and mite unstich me or take me away and not giv me bak. So its safer if I stay at home.

Hav you herd of any other bears with voys boxes that have bin on a airoplane? Do you think it will be safe for me to go or shud I fone the airport and try and get a bear passport?

By! from Bob

PS I hope your marigolds are doing well.

Well, Bob, I do kno a Bear wiv a voyse box as it happens, an his nayme is Mr Grunter. He is very old an yewst to carfter Mummy wen she waz a littol gerl. But he has never been on a airoplane.

Mr Grunter: a Bear ov respektabol dottage. He acheevd his yewneek nose-shaype throo menny yeers of huggin.

So I went an arskt the laydy that werks at the Colchester Bear Adoptshun Senter. I'm afrayd she dident kno much abowt this either, an sed yor Mummy shud chek wiv the airport befor yu go.

We Bears had a diskushon abowt it, an we think that so long as yor voyse box werks it shud be ok. But sum Bears hav them an don't need to yews them enymor, so they don't mayke a noyse. Well if this is the cayse wiv yu, it mite be a bit dayngeruss to go. I meen, if a big fat Customs fella x-rays yu an sez, "Hullo, wat's that bit in the middol?" an yu say (wiv the voyse box) "It's my voyse box!" he'll jus say, "Oh, okydokey then, off yu go."

But if he spots the voyse box an it duzzent werk, then yu carnt proov it's a voyse box, an he mite think yor smuggling in sum speshol choklit or hunny or sumthing, and go an operayte on yu jus so he can steel it!

It is all very frytenin, but I kno yu ar brayve as yu ar a Bear. An a Bob Bear, at that.

So enyway we agree that yu shud get yor Mummy to call the airport an arsk them abowt it. Jus to be shor.

Regardin passports, yes, evry travlin Bear shud hav wun. Heer's a pic ov mine:

I had to blot out sum detayles, ov corse, wat wiv bein a spy an all.

Don't worry abowt those X-rays, by the way. They tickol a bit, but they're ok.

I'm sorry I havent been abol to help yu mor. Perhaps, if eny ov my reeders kno abowt voyse boxes an airports, they cood let us kno-???

Oh, by the way, yes, my marigolds ar still doin well! Heer is a foto I jus took ov sum ov them for yu. It's the middol ov the nite heer, so the foto's a bit dark. Sorry bowt that.
Bye fer now!!!