Catchin up 1- Granny's Berfday

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: No
• Simpsons: yes, we sor a very old wun, the wun wen Santa's Littol Helper comes to stay!
• Tesco: Yes, an I rode in the trolley, too.
  
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 9.5 /10
• Overall Score: 7.8369/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!!!

Oh my giddy arnt! I havent blogd in weeks! Well yu noe hooz to blame thare, don't yu? Yep, can't get the staff.

I've dun tuns of stuff.....

Ferst it was Granny's berfday.
We bort lots of presents but forgot to tayke pikchers! D'oh! (Staff problems agen)
But enyway, we went off for lunch at a 17th Sentry Inn an ate tuns ov food, but mannidged to save room for dizert this time!!!!!!

I had sum Crabbies Alcoholic Ginger BeerYum!!

Heer's me an Granny an Mummy

Dilly liket that the plates had wagonny things on them-

She also liket the lanterns

....an she luvd the horseradish sorce, wich was hot hot hot!

Daddy had roast lamb, Granny had chikken, Mummy had roast beef.....

I liket dizzerts best!
This is wat Granny had.
It's calld 'spotted dick' -HAAAAAAAAAAAAAhahahahahahHAAAAAAAA!
It's a steamed sponge pudding with sultanas in it an yu get it wiv syrup an custard.
Slurp!

Mummy had hot choc muffin an creem-

Daddy had hot toffee pudding wiv ice creem-OH MY!

This wee doggy was calld Milly.
She livd at the Inn.
This was her speshol corner, wiv her own heater an bowl an cushon.

Granny luvd her strayte away.
She luvs doggys. An they always louv her too.

Wen we got home Mr Scooter had fallen asleep waiting for us at the windo wiv his Bear.

We had ownly been in the howse a few minits, wen Unkal David an she-hoo-must-not-be-named* arrived, wiv my 2 cuzzins. Wun ov them, Dominic, had his berfday the day befor Granny, so Mummy sed they shud both blow owt the candols on the cayke she had got.

Mr Scooter let Dominic stroke him wile they shared the fire an watched tv. Thare was wrappin payper arownd from wen Granny had opend presents, so we put catnip on it!!!Layter, Mr Scooter slept it off-

Well that's all for now. I will do sum mor catch up posts an set them up to publish ortomatikly so I don't hav to wayte for Mummy to help wiv the buttons! Tsk!

Grayte she jus made a cup ov tea. I'm off!

TTFN!

*she-hoo-must-not-be-named= Unkal David an Arnty Stephanie got married in Deesember an Mummy had a hewge row wiv them becos Arnty S was meen to her an now Mummy sez that if we say her nayme three times she will appeer so we mussent. We must say 'she-hoo-must-not-be-named'.
Akchewly I hav had my own nayme for her for a wile wich is 'she-hoo-has-a-fanny-in-her-name' but Daddy maykes his brow go wrinkly at me wen I yews that. Wich meens it must be good HAHAHAHA

Mother's Day Attemptid Murder

Weekend's scores:

• Gills: yes: we playd Yeovil (full nayme: Yeovil-grass-chewing-scum) but nobody got a goal. It waz 0-0. I think they wer all distraktid, all thinkin "I must get my Mum a card arfter this."
• Simpsons: no
• Tesco: yes- I had to go an get Mummy a card (wun wiv a bear on it)
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 9.5/10
• Day Score:4 (bein almost killd kinda taykes the shine off a day)/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

It waz Mother's Day yesterday so we all went to Granny's an gayve her a gerly-lookin card wiv cats on, a choklit cayke, a book an a T-Shert wiv sparkly flowers on it.

Mummy's brother, my Unkol David, waz there, wiv Arnty Stephanie an mor nephews. Theez wuns ar calld Alex an Dominic an ar kwite littol. I've met them befor. I yewzerly jus sit on a shelf an pertend not to be reel. This werkt for Dilly just fine yesterday: she got in wiv the dragons on Granny's shelf an went unnotist. But it waz a tad mor complicaytid fer me.

Well, az yu kno, yu can tell a Bear is reel by his kneez. My legs ar ov the fully-fledged bendy variety, wiv is a ded give-away. So I snuggold down in between a cuppol ov big cushons on the sofa, wiv them tukt in owt ov site.

I thort I'd be safe but I waz foyled by Dominic's bownsin-up-an-down-on-the-sofa eskapayde.

"Wat's he doin there?" he arskt his mummy.

"I don't kno!" she sed. An befor MY mummy cud reskew me he had me in wun hand an waz slappin my bottom wiv the other! What the? He sed that I'd been norty, hidin in the sofa.

Mummy got me off him an sed he wassent to hit me an that it wassent nice. Well, he sed, "Heez OWNLY a teddy!" Dam cheek!!!! An then he startid to punch me so I got him bak. Mummy warnd him I did karrarty but he wuddent lissen an he jus arskt for it. So I went PHWAR! an got him agen an as he rolld over I tikkold his bak till he gayve in an ran off.

I thort that waz it but heed just gon off for reinforcements: Alex, his slitely bigger an mor ginger bruther.

Well! They both sed that I waz JUST a TEDDY. They eevn sed that I cuddent talk, an that it waz Mummy "doin my voyce". Eevn wen she stufft her mowth full ov biskits, they still sed it wassent me talkin, -this time they sed it was Daddy! Wat nonsense!

Then we all had biskits. I got wun too. I waz starvin: must hav bin nerves. I ate it kwikly an I think that impresst Dominic as I herd him say to his mummy, "How did he eet his biskit?" HA! See? Ownly REEL Bears eet biskits!

Wen they got in their car to leev, I darnsed along their window to jeer at them. Inside, I cud hear Alex sayin, "Go on, Dom! Kill 'im! Kill 'im!" so I shook my furry ass at them.

Onnistly, I thort bein kidnapt by the Irish nephews waz bad enuff, but theez wuns wer werse! I wontid to put up a warnin poster abowt them but Mummy won't let me. So serfice it to say, if yor a Bear in the Walthamstow area an see two small gingery boys walkin abowt together, be on yor gard. Best swot up on yor kararty skills, just in cayse.

25 fotoze for the 25th of Deesember

Weekend's scores:

• Gills: no: weekend off fer good bahyavior.
• Simpsons: yes: a brillyent "Lisa is best out ov evrywun" episode.
• Tesco: no, an she sneekt off to Saynsbury's agen, an then insultid The Bear's immense intellygense by pertendin she haddent been enyware. Huh.
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 8.5/10
• Weekend Score: 8, on accownt ov that Simpsons episode. Wish I'd recordid it! /10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

An thankyew fer yor payshunse. It haz tayken a long time to get Blogger to upload eny fotoze at all, let alone all the wuns I want to show yu! In the end I drayped the compewter box wiv lots ov pants an, arfter a few encurridging kicks, it gayve in an admittid that I waz boss ov it.

So. Heer we go then. My foto-jernol ov Crismoss Day.....

The tree sort ov recuvverd from the munching aphids, but endid up a bit thinner. Never mind. We jus threw mor an mor stuff on it till yu cuddent see all the gaps. This is errly Crismoss mornin....

This is the Crib that Mummy mayde, owt ov clay....Wen we cayme downstairs we fownd our soks an pressies....

This waz my sok:

This is wun ov my fayvrit pressies, a Poo chart! I shall do a post all abowt this layter, by speshol reekwest ov Stanley!

I also got sum speshol Spy Pens an sum choklit Peanuts!

This waz Dilly's sock:

She got a new ribbon, a Freddo Frog bar, a pink wind-up bug. But her fayvrit pressie is a "pwinsessy sofa-bed". It lifts up an she puts all her stuff in the bottom ov it, wich meens bows, mostly, reelly. It's very pink (urrrgh) but it keeps her owt ov my way!

Sam got a pullover an a hat:

He luvs his "Beanie Hat". He thinks it maykes him look cool. He keeps yewsin werds like 'dood' an 'hangin'. As in, "Whare's my tea hangin, dood?" an then he trys to mayke his paws clik.

The Windowsill Bear Familee got sum Bear gingerbred. There wer three bits, in the shape ov a big Daddy Bear, a meedium Mummy Bear, an a littol Baby Bear. LBBBJ waz a bit mift at the size ov the smallist. Dilly staulked the bow.

Mulligan Tyre Bear got a Hunny Stik an kwikly hid it from LBBBJ.

Grayum got the jumper an soks he wontid...

He has worn it ever sinse, exsept I did mayke him tayke it off wen Gillingham playd Nottingham Forest the next day (full nayme: 'Nottin-scum Forest-not-fit-for-a-Bear-to-poo-in') as it looks a bit like their kit. Speshly wiv that tree on it.

Ov all the pressies Daddy got, our fayvrit waz a box ov mini choklit bars. They wer mor our size, reelly!

I got this bloo hoodie fer Crismoss too!

Amung Mummy's pressies waz this new bag. Heer I am tryin it owt fer size. I like the culler. Not shor abowt that flower tho.

We broke off pressie openin for a wile wen Mummy spottid a Bob-Robin in the gardin. He lookt like he cuddent fly. He sat on the grarss fer a long time so Mummy went owt to arsk if he waz allrite. He let her pik him up. She sed his wings wer ok, but his tayle waz a bit floppy. So she brort him in...

Me, Daddy an Granny put him in a box an drove him to a Mergensy Anmol Hopsikol neer our howse. A laydy opend the door an sed, "Oh! A robin! An on Crissmoss Day!" an took him in.

(Mummy waz worreed bowt him, but rang them a few days layter an they sed he waz ok. They sed he waz littol an they had to wayte fer his new tayle fethers to grow bak befor he goze owt to play agen. They wer feedin him werms.)

As well as Granny, my Unkol David an Arnty Stephanie cayme, an brort my cuzzins Alex an Dominic. Heer they ar, playin wiv Granny.

Mummy cookt.....

Turkey!

There waz lots ov food...

...tho Grayum preferd to sniff owt a few simpol Beary snaks.

It's apparently a big compliment to the cook wen all yor gests ar comatose on the sofa arfter dinner!

We Bears rowndid off the day wiv a good Bedtime reed! (Hey! Grayum's warin Sam's Beanie Hat!)

Tomorro I'll tell yu abowt wen we went to Granny's howse an took the massarge chair wiv us for the Sheppey Bears to try out!

Bye fer now!

It's gonna get bizzy rownd heer...

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: yes, a layte wun. Took Sam. His ferst expeerience. He liket the ride in the trolley bit best.
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 10 (no yews in hewmerin the new lad forever yu kno)/10
• Day Score: 7.326/10
• Advent calender pikcher: 3 mor gerls singing. An yesterday's (sorry I fergot) waz an angel. I'm not imprest. Phytheas's calendar is full ov Bears.

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

We wer off fer a wee bit mor shoppin larst nite. Bein as I am a frendly Bear of kindly kaliber, I lent my coate to Sam. Dilly mannidged to distrakt him wiv her hedskarf long enuff for me to tayke a foto:

Now, is it jus me, or duzz my coate mayke him look a bit, well, otter-ish? He issent an otter, of corse, he's a Bear. We kno that. But.... well.... hmm. Must hav been all that time he spent in the river fishin fer sammon. Hey ho. (Best not menshun it agen.)

Weer goin to hav to do lots mor shoppin, too, now. We had plannd to go to Granny's fer Crismoss, but as ov today it terns out, evrywun is comin HEER fer Crismoss!

By evrywun, I meen Granny, Unkol David, Arnty Stephanie, Dominc an Alex. Dominic is 4 an Alex is 7. I don't kno how old the grown-ups ar. Abowtttt.... 106, I think, for Unkol David (baldin) an abowttt..... 108 fer Arnty Stephanie. Granny is jus, well, Granny-age.

Unkol Roy mite be comin over from Portugaylia, too, but he duzzent like Unkol David. So wile weer heer eetin like elks, heel be stayin at Granny's on his own. It waz this, or Granny duzzent get to see Unkol David an co at all, cos Unkol Roy sez he duzzent want to see them. (I thort this waz the season ov peece an joy an jolly biskits an stuff!)

So! This meens that (deep breath....) on Crismoss Eev we hav to drive to Granny's howse, then on Crismoss Day mornin we hav to drive WIV Granny all the way home agen an cook dinner. THEN Unkol David, Arnt Stephanie, Alex an Dominic come an help us eet it. Then THEY drive home an we drive bak to Granny's.

An Mummy sez this waz the better arrayngement? They're all mad!

Hey ho! We did alot ov driving LARST Crismoss. I hav to say, it's kwite fun, bein owt on the roade on Crismoss Day cos neerly no one else is, an if they ar, they hav lots ov presents an tinsel an stuff in the bak, an evrywun smiles an wayves! We Bears sit up on the dashbord navygaytin an singing an wayvin pants at eech other as we parss. Hehehee!

Mummy's wondrin wether to get a turkey or a goose. Sept, if she DUZZ get goose, sheel hav to lie to the kids an tell them it's chikn. It's all Beatrix Potter's falt.

Bye fer now!

The Mystery of Papermoose

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no; on hols
• Simpsons: no, mist it
• Tesco: YES!!! Big long visit. Walkt there wiv Mummy. She had a stomuk ayke wen we got there so we sat an drank tea in the cafe ferst. it was grate.
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 10 - painkillers make Mummy's reactions slow /10
• Day Score: 8/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

I told Authorblog this story, an he sed I shud put it on my blog. So heer yu are. But I warn yu, it's very scary. So don't go to bed too soon arfter yu've red it. Or if yu do, take lots of Bears wiv yu. Bears do brayve, yu know. Enyway, if yor sitting cumffterbly, I'll begin.......

Long time ago, Mummy's elder brother lived with her. (AAAAAAARGH! No. No, sorry. That's not the scary bit. I was jokin there.) One Crismass, he being a fan of the MOOSE in the programme "Northern Exposure", she bort him a toy MOOSE.

She carefully rapt it up bit by bit, to look like a MOOSE. i.e. each bit of antler had a separate bit of rapping paper, as did the rest of him. So he looked like, well, a wallpapered MOOSE.

Unkal Dave (yes, really, that's his name) loved it so much he never unrapped it.

He and the Wallpapered MOOSE (he was named PAPERMOOSE, for short) became close buddies.

Then, wun day, he was gone: NO MOOSE.

They lookt hie an low, no MOOSE.

Utterly MOOSE-less.

Time passed and Uncle Dave mooved out.

Then Mummy mooved too. On the eve of her moove she went throo the entire house, still serching for the Wallpapered MOOSE. It was never fownd.

To this day, it remaynes, The Mysterious Mystery Of PAPERMOOSE, The Disappearing Wallpapered MOOSE of Old Ingle Road.

noo noo noooo noo, noo noo noooo noo (Twilight Zone music).

PAPERMOOSE, as depictid by McGlinch (Thanks, Glinchy!)

Bye fer now!