HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!
Yu know, there ar a lot of diffrences between Hewmans an Bears.
Sum of the things we hav which they don't are obvious. Like fer exampol fur, cuteness, and an innate ability to darnce without looking like yor trying to get a bug out of yor shoe.
But then there are the things that ar mor suttel. Like, LOYALTY for instance.
Hav a look at this. This is a LOYALTY card. As yu can see, this wun is in my nayme. Daddy has wun too.-
I hav a Tesco LOYALTY card becos I do LOYAL, and becos I do LOYAL, I do my shopping at Tesco. Bears do loyal, yu see. See a theme forming here?
Well, yestaday, arfter a jolly nice arftanoon looking at the baby birds on the pond in the park an throwing bits of Tesco bread at their parents, we wer in mid-drive bak home wiv me navigayting on the dashboard, an yu know wat Mummy said?
"Let's go to ASDA!"
What the????????????????????
Despite my protests they terned the car in the ASDA direkshun. I retreated to the bak of the car. No way was I goin to hav a paw in direktin them to THERE.
Off they went, the two of them AND Dilly, into the scum festerin shop that even has green letterin in its nayme, leaving me to guard the car.
An hour.
ONE HOUR, folks. AND they made me miss The Simpsons during it.
Daddy sed that he was ownly followin instrukshons but I told him, that dident werk at Nuremberg an it aint gonna werk wiv ME.
On the drive back, Mummy told me about how an ASDA person was rood an unhelpful LIKE I WAS MEANT TO CARE.
She apologised for going in there an tryd to get round me by saying,
"Well, Bob, NOW I will just appreshyate Tesco more!"
Ah well, better is she hoo appreshyates wat LOYAL means wivout havin ferst to compare wat a scum festering shop is like, is all I can say.
Wen we got home I had a long talk wiv Grayum. He cheered me up a bit. He's a wise old Bear. Bit skinny though, so not really good on the Bear Hug front. So I wondered off to find another Bear to hug...
WANTED: hugs fer small trormatized Bear
....an guess wat I found Dilly doing?????? BUILDING A BLOG.
Folks, I kid yu not. There is now wun mor green presence on the web.
An there was me thinking my day cuddent get eny werse......
Please send hugs.