Christmas soup...

This afternoon, my sisters and I went to Olive Garden after seeing Ballet West's production of "The Nutcracker". On our way out, I saw a man in an old coat and jeans standing a few feet from the door. For some reason I couldn't help but look at him, and when our eyes met, he hurriedly turned away. His whole body read shame and cold and sorrow.

Without thinking, I ran to the door. I had no money, but I did have a bowl of hot, steaming soup; the untouched all-you-can-eat serving I was too full to even start. I called to the man, who didn't answer. I called again, "Sir! Here. This is for you."

The look on his face was one of utter amazement -- his eyes brightened, and the shame and sadness I had seen disappeared. As he took the soup, he cried "You've got to be kidding me! This is for me?" I told him again that yes, it was for him, and was happy to see him accept it.

Technically, I broke the law -- I don't have a permit to hand out food to someone who is homeless or panhandling. But when I saw that man's face, and saw how he could barely look at me, I absolutely couldn't walk away from him, not when I had something hot and delicious to share. Utah's laws didn't even cross my mind -- only a higher law, that of feeding the hungry and lifting those whose hands hang down, made sense to me. Seeing the change in the man's eyes, and watching as he cupped that simple bowl of soup in his hands -- wow. What I wouldn't give to be able to do that for someone every single day of my life. ‪#‎sharetheGift‬

be the change...

As Christmas approaches, I am even more aware of the injustices and pain that happen in the world. Today, my thoughts have turned to America, and to a story of love and sacrifice that changed one person's life forever. But as much as this story is inspiring, it has an incredibly dark side, one that I do not feel should be overlooked. And so, if you read on, please accept this as my offering to those who have little -- accept this as a plea to be the change that we need.

An angel and a hero -- Tara Starling, founder of SoulFood USA with military veteran, Kaylynn

This woman served her country, became a soldier. She fought to give us a place where we can reach our goals, raise our families, talk about anything we want -- she gave up everything to keep us safe. When she got home, she had nothing. She and her little boy have been living in a tent, in December, with belongings that fit into a closet-sized space. And yet, we have government representatives making hundreds of thousands of dollars, a president who goes on million dollar vacations using tax-payer money. This woman served her country and protected that government so that it can continue to exist -- only to come home to a tent for her and her son.

Not only that, but this group of devoted, compassionate individuals who banded together to help this single mother are required BY LAW to have a permit to help those less fortunate than themselves. Utah now requires that groups who help the homeless (especially those who provide food) have a permit. They are required by a government who rejects those men and women who give all, those men and women who sacrifice family -- birthdays, holidays, births, deaths, all of those precious moments -- who sacrifice safety, security, mental and emotional health -- rejects the men and women who keep safe the government which sends them away when they return.

More and more states are requiring these permits -- requiring that men and women who freely give of their money, time, and resources, with no thought for compensation or recognition, get permission to help those in need. It's suddenly against the law to help our fellow men, unless we get permission from governments that can't seem to help.

I'm not suggesting we become a socialist state. I'm not arguing for communism or big government. I'm pointing out that there is a major discrepancy: those who support the nation and risk it all are put on the streets, while a single man -- the president -- uses taxpayer dollars to go on million dollar vacations to Hawaii.

That isn't right.

Nor is it right that giving, nurturing people be required to have a legal document to aid the homeless with food or other material goods, like coats and clothing and bedding.

This is not the America I love. This is not the country I honor. This is a country that needs to change. This a country that is sick, that has forgotten its ideals, and that has turned its back on the aspirations which birthed it.

Do your duty in this country. Know not just who you are voting for, but what that person stands for, what he or she will do with the power that YOU give.

You decide what happens in this country. Be the change.

#nerdalert...

What do my sisters and I do on Christmas Eve?

I sit on my couch coaching them both through Order of the Phoenix levels on the Xbox 360, rolling my eyes as they get their characters stuck running in circles and laughing as they both shriek in panic when the red caps pop out of the ground and attack them in the Forbidden Forest. They have the time of their lives figuring out the game and squealing with fright as the Lego creatures come after them.

Seriously, though. Every time a red cap pops out of the dirt, they scream and jerk their whole bodies around while maneuvering their little Lego Luna and Harry.

It's the holidays at the House.

Happy Christmas, everybody.

a taste of the outdoors...

I love the smell of pine trees. Which is one of the many reasons why I'm still glad that Chelsea and I got a real tree for Christmas.

First, we stopped by Mater and said hello. We just like him for his body. And then, we found our tree! Beautiful, isn't it?

All ready to go!

Happy Christmas from the girls in 83!

PS Thanks to Jeff for taking all of the pictures, for helping us get the tree standing up straight, and for helping tie it to the car.

trees for Christmas...

inspired by Christmas trees -- I love not having homework

ER, anyone?

At 10:00 tonight, I got a call from a friend informing me that another friend was in serious trouble.

So I called a different friend with a car, and we kindly forced the troubled friend into said car. And then drove to the emergency room. After which, we spent 30 minutes trying to get her out of the car and into the ER.

Finally, she agreed to come in. Very reluctantly. I pretty much pushed her across the parking lot.

At 1:00 this morning, Chelsea came and picked me up because the migraine I had this morning started coming back. And I have a 12 page paper to finish that is due at 8:00 this morning.

So. That's taken care of for now. Not the paper, but the friend in trouble.

Never taken a friend to the ER before.

Never pulled an all-nighter as a BYU student before, either (and school is out tomorrow...what?).

Never thought I'd like a Christmas song featuring C-Lee and the Muppets. NEVER.

Now to write 3 more pages. And maybe get some sleep. But after two 20 ounce bottles of Coke Zero, that might not be happening. We'll have to see.

Jack didn't build this house...

After a weekend of studying for finals and a Monday of one monstrous exam followed by studying for a second, I was worn out. So when Jeff and Chelsea called me and invited me to make gingerbread houses with them and Jeff's family, I didn't even think about saying no. To heck with studying! Let's have some fun!

Fun it was. Lots of fun! We came away with some graham cracker masterpieces, blistered fingers from a hot glue gun (at least in my case), and sugar overload because of all the candy that ended up in our mouths instead of on the architecture.

Chelsea made a beautiful Eiffel Tower, and I made a replica of my favorite building on BYU campus, the Hinckley Alumni Center.

Happy girls, happy houses, and Happy Christmas!

penguins...

Girls' Night! With Brianna.

clearly I am not left handed...

If I had a camera, I would take a picture and show you, BUT seeing as mine has been commandeered once again by my mother, I will just tell you about it.

I finished another paper tonight (and Jeff was kind enough to read it, as was my dad, both of whom said that it looks good -- banking on them being right). Chelsea, Jeff, and I turned on the TV because we can, and then we realized that it was three hours earlier than we thought it was: 7pm instead of 10pm. Chelsea and I had time to do our nails!

Given that it is now December (and pouring rain outside so hard that my dog started barking), I decided to paint my nails red. And then...I got creative.

'Tis the season, right?

Let's just say that the green stripes on my left hand look much better than the green stripes on my right hand.

If you can even call those stripes. Good grief. When I get my camera back (tomorrow -- or else), I may take a photo and show you. Perhaps you'll think it as funny as I do. And by funny, I mean funny looking.

lately...

...thinking...

...I'm beginning to learn what it means to study the scriptures, and let me tell you, it's quite fascinating what you can learn -- so many thoughts and ideas bouncing around
...why do I so often want to go back to the person who caused me so much grief -- or do I even want to go back
...funny how often others pressure me to take care of things that are no longer my problem, and the people doing the pressuring aren't even interested in helping out
...people are hypocritical -- it bugs me how often I, too, fall into that
...snow would be so much more fun if I had a guy friend to chuck snowballs at and then run for my life -- missing Jordan a lot this weekend
...I hate money because I don't have any

...doing...

...migraines, anybody? whatever you do, don't get them
...dishes by hand -- the dishwasher is broken and I don't know how to fix it, but I actually like doing the dishes now
...started watching Big Bang Theory and I'll admit that I really like it, even though I shouldn't
...consistently behind in my homework, no matter how hard I try to keep up
...wishing. lots of wishing
...sleeping -- are you shocked, because I have been
...spent time with my best girl Kayla, whom I haven't played with in months -- Cafe Rio, gas station hot chocolate (which never ceases to be grand), quoting YouTube videos, fixing car wind shield wipers, watching Once Upon a Time, talking about boys and college and dreams, you name it
...oh, my wind shield wiper broke while I was on the freeway yesterday afternoon during the blizzard -- that was fun
...trying not to fret about the future, because I can't control a lot of what happens

...feeling...

...headaches -- a lot
...unable to talk to anyone about anything that's going on in my life because 1) people don't want to listen, 2) people are too busy to listen, 3) people scold me for how I feel/think/act, 4) people use what I tell them to get back at me later on, 5) I'm afraid to ask the people who would listen because they're busy and I often end up having nothing to say
...excited for Christmas time -- the one time of year things feel right, even if they're not
...lonely and isolated, which may have been an unintentional choice on my part
...mad at people who are careless with physical affection -- if I hadn't ever been cuddled, I wouldn't miss it (and I wouldn't miss you as much, either)
...tired and scared -- maybe paranoid
...overwhelmed and short on time -- what I wouldn't give for college professors to realize that every class has homework, and a lot of it, not just theirs
...fat. yes, fat

lookin' back: 2011...

Wow. I can't believe the year is over! It went by so incredibly fast, I'm not even sure what happened in 2011 and what didn't! Thankfully I have thousands of pictures in seasonally categorized folders on my computer...if one picture is worth a thousand words, how many words are a thousand pictures worth? Hm...

LDC had Spring Retreat at the beginning of the year. This is my family group, the Dis-Harmonizers! We were the coolest anti-super hero group ever.


Meghan and Amanda performed in their first ever MVHS choir fundraising concert. It was really great to go back to my high school to see all of my still in high school buddies perform, and to see my sisters be spotlighted in each of their numbers.


Institute Date Night! I've made so many good friends through LDC and through Institute. It's been a huge blessing in my life.


Brianna, Shelby, and I got to go to a session of General Conference at the Conference Center. It was a grand adventure, complete with riding the Trax train. "What is that? It's the wrong shape for a bullet hole..." Good times!!


I graduated from UVU! Associate's Degree, baby! It wasn't a super huge deal, but it was a really great accomplishment for me.


LDC performed our spring show, The Family: A Musical Proclamation. This is the show that we were invited to perform in the Conference Center at Temple Square. It was a really amazing experience, to be able to work with professional sound and light crews, a real live stage manager, and to have a fully functioning stage to perform on. I loved every minute of it. Dream come true, to perform on that stage!


Choir tour!


One time Meghan forgot to get a group together for Morp. Adam and I helped her out by going as a second couple, even though we'd graduated a year before.


Jordan and Meghan...Peter Pan and Wendy.


Institute on parade!


Manti Pageant with my sisters and Jenni. It has always been one of my absolute favorite things to do in the summer. I'm so glad we got to go this year! It was the first time in nearly 3 years, and it was a total blast. Thanks to dad for driving us down and hanging out with all of us girls!


New job! Super fun.


Natalie's birthday adventure!


July brought saying good-bye to my best friend Jordan. He is currently serving in the Independence, Missouri mission, Spanish speaking. I honestly don't know where I would be without this kid. I love you, Elder Raddatz!!


The final installment of HARRY freakin' POTTER! Midnight showing, of course.


Summer vacation part one: the ZOO. Where we actually belong.


Summer vacation part two: LAGOON. Where only half of our family belongs...the rest get sick (myself included).


Summer vacation part three: GRANDMA'S HOUSE!! EVERYONE belongs at grandma's house.


A new year of LDC: new friends, new music, new experiences, same Spirit. This is a picture from fall retreat. White Power! I mean...uh...yeah. Try coming up with a cheer when you're the white group! It all comes out sounding racist.


Carrots and Choir Chica Sista, my two best girls. I love them so, so much. From heartbreak to hyperness, they've been there for me every step of the way this semester. BFF's!


LDC presents Mulan! Well...sort of.


On a whim I bought a fish. I named him Leonardo. Leonardo DiFishy.



Insert imaginary photo of new job at PartyLand!



Halloween!!


Fall photoshoot courtesy of Michelle. They're kind of super late senior pictures combined with pictures to use for audition packets. Thank you, Michelle!


Another photoshoot courtesy of Michelle. It was so great to be able to take pictures of all three of us together! Usually I'm the one behind the camera when it's me and my sisters, so this was great. Merry Christmas, mom and dad!


We got a dog and named her Molly. She's a gremlin. Seriously.


LDC performed with Michael McLean in The Forgotten Carols. It was an amazing experience.


Christmas-ing with Carrots at Blickenstaff's!


We're elves. You know...Christmas elves. Santa's little helpers.


It was a Charlie Brown Christmas.


LDC performed our Christmas show, A Silent Night. All of that music and the words came to mean a lot to me by the end of the run. It was a great experience, despite being strangely difficult for me personally. I'm really glad I have those memories.


Chillin' with the Eggletts, Brother and Sister Eggett's children. They are so stinkin' adorable! And all of them are so very kind. I love them!

welcome, Christmas...welcome, Savior...

It has been a very, very hard Christmas season for me this year. Usually it's all happiness and bustle to get things ready and beautiful to celebrate this time to remember the Savior. This year it's been less happiness and more bustle. It's very strange because I've been absolutely surrounded by opportunities to feel the Spirit and to be touched by the stories of Christmas. There have been multiple experiences when I've felt overwhelmed with gratitude and joy; almost immediately those feelings turn into deep sadness. I don't know what it is. I keep examining myself to see what I need to do differently. Believe me, I find things that need to be changed, but they don't seem to be so severe as to cause this kind of pain and loneliness.

Today has been another very hard day. I'm very grateful that yesterday was such a good day. I had a lot of things to think about and remember to keep smiling: mailing Jordan's present; delivering gifts with Ann to Teddy, the Eggetts, Brianna, and the Raddatzes; going to see A Christmas Carol with Ann and her family; watching Balto for the first time with Ann and her sister Jenny; then a very late night adventure to Walmart with Ann and Jenny in search of a tie for their uncle (whom Ann had forgotten to get a gift for).

Luckily I spent most of the day at work, 10am-4pm. I say lucky because it kept me busy thinking about things like price labels, balloons, customers and their needs, Parker and Tracy being silly with me, and all things work-related. At the back of my mind were the worries though. Little Amy being very sick. Tuition. Balancing choir, work, and school work next semester. Trying to remember the new things Tracy trained me on at work. Family relationships. Friends who I miss, and those who I see but wonder what they think of me. My plans to serve a mission.

Christmas Eve became merrier for me however. After a rather exciting adventure to the grocery store (involving many purchases of holiday ice cream flavors and sparkling cider), my family and I had a very tasty dinner of seasoned bread dipped in olive oil and herbs with glasses of sparkling cider. Then mom invited me to go with her to the store on some last minute gift searches. I make it a rule to never shop on the eve before a holiday. One day before Halloween and Thanksgiving were dangerous enough, but Christmas? I was a wee bit nervous as we headed out. However, it was rather fun! We found very magical things, including Wild Berry Sprite and peanut brittle! Oh, sugar. I love you.

The return home also brought the return of the worries and fears and a very sad feeling. Instead of going right to bed, a movie was put in: Santa Claus is Comin' to Town. I've loved it ever since I was very little. It's always been one of my very favorite Christmas movies. This was the first time watching it as an adult, and I found that I loved it even more because I caught more of the humor and more of the meaning. It touched me very deeply, reminding me again what Christmas really is about and helping to ease the hurt inside a little bit. And yes, I did cry. But don't tell my family!

Shortly after finishing the movie, I received an email from a dear friend, Amy's mother. Two sentences into the email I was in tears again. I was so grateful for her kind words, and it helped so much to know that someone out there was thinking of me with kindness. Sometimes what a person needs is to be reminded that somewhere out there is someone who cares.

The Savior cares. That's what Christmas is all about. He cared enough to give everything, to be born into a fallen, mortal world with a mortal body and mortal parents, to live as a man with fallen neighbors and strangers--so fallen that it was up to Him to save each one of us by giving His life. That's how much He cares. It's pretty incredible to think about.

And so, I say, welcome, Santa Claus! Not because of the temporary joy that is brought by gifts and things and such, but because of the reminder Santa Claus gives us. Santa, the giver and bringer of happiness on earth. Savior, the giver and bringer of happiness for eternity. Would that we could always be such as He, giving without restraint to those who are sad or hurt or alone. This is my new goal: to give and to love and to be like Jesus! What better example than He of how to live? Welcome, Christmas! Welcome, Savior!

"Poor, misguided folks. They missed the whole point. Lot's of unhappiness? Maybe so. But doesn't Santa take a little bit of that unhappiness away? Doesn't a smile on Christmas morning scratch out a tear cried on a sadder day? Not much maybe. But what would happen if we all tried to be like Santa and learned to give as only he can give: of ourselves, our talents, our love and our hearts? Maybe we could all learn Santa's beautiful lesson and maybe there would finally be peace on Earth and good will toward men."

-Mailman, "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town"

"And in doing these things thou wilt do the greatest good unto thy fellow beings, and wilt promote the glory of him who is your Lord."

-Doctrine and Covenants 81:4

photo from AboutReligiousArt.com

missionary care package...

I finally got Jordan's Christmas package ready and sent. It won't get there until next Thursday, but at least it will get there, right? Last night my family and I wrote him letters and put them into a big box with some of the things I'd already gathered for him. Today I went to the store and found some more goodies to put inside the box for him and his companion. For Jordan there were two ties (since those are the only things that a missionary can really change), a journal, a CD of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir hymns, and several letters. For him and his companion there were two Christmas goodie bags, a box full of peppermint candies, suckers, and candy canes, and two bags of Hershey's kisses (with a note saying "Use wisely-they're the only ones you're gonna get!"). And the best part? See for yourself:



Peppermint forget-me-stick. How genius is that? It's freakin' huge! I was pretty excited about that. Thought I'd share the joy with you. :)

Christmas cookies...

Yesterday my friends Alyssa and Chelsie invited me to make cookies with them at Alyssa's house. It was so much fun! I haven't done anything like that in a very long time. Usually when I bake I'm by myself, and I haven't done any cookie decorating since I was in Young Women's. It had been kind of a hard weekend due to repeated episodes of health problems, and being able to spend time with Lyssa and Chels was a real mood lifter. I'm so, so grateful that I got the job at PartyLand. I've met some pretty quality people there, people I have come to count as dear friends.

Christmas cookie magic...they make me happy! This recipe is so great, too. I'll get it from Alyssa and share it with all of you, deal?


A normal Christmas tree.

A Christmas tree after it caught fire on the candles in its branches...
I'm not weird.







Not weird, remember?