This page was one of the few where I knew from the beginning what I wanted/needed to write about - light in the darkness. This came out of seeing a new pain specialist recently and, for the first time in many years, feeling heard and understood. He can't do very much for me but has some creative ideas so, while I'm not dancing with joy since any changes will be small and subtle, there is a spark of hope kindled within me that sees a possibility of something improving.
So I did something I only do occasionally, and painted the page black. Its fun actually, because colours work differently on the dark background, but you need materials that will be opaque over the black - in this case Posca paint pens.
The bird represents me - on the ground, my wings clipped, but looking up hopefully at a spark of light.
And when the words below were finished I could almost have left it like that, because that was all I needed to say. But of course it was a bit too bare for me, and I started to doodle ...
I wasn't really liking the page very much because the writing didn't seem to look right - but once I put the outlines around it suddenly it WORKED!
And now I DO like it - because it says what I wanted. But also I realised that I had drawn a lot of beauty around the bird, even grounded. That helps because even if the new specialist's ideas don't come to anything, it will remind me to look for the loveliness around me, rather than longing for the unattainable ...