A Reply: The Elegant, Obvious Solution to 1L Self-Loathing

I originally posted this as a comment to Phaedrus' immediately preceding post, but it became too long to be a comment on a post:


Phaedrus, you still have it all wrong. Grades and class rank only have a HIGHLY tenuous correlation to intelligence, writing ability, and logical thinking.

The only way to make the correlation strong enough to be statistically significant, thereby making it a genuinely useful indicator of something practical (other than for employers who just want the "type" that is usually at the top of the class), is to extend the timeline over a period of many, many years (decades?). Even then, good luck controlling for all those spurious causes that arise during the intervening period.

That's all a (general) statistical way of saying "grades and class rank don't say jack shit about the individual, and they don't really even say much about the overall class." You know this.

My solution to the school-related issues these 1Ls are experiencing is simple: just. give. up. You know, as Fight Club and The Postal Service might say. Stop struggling. Accept it, and the benefits will come, including higher grades for a lot of people.

Everyone (me more than most...) is going to rage against "the system" of law school/the profession, but it's better to stop allowing it to get in your head as early as possible. Critique it, spot the flaws, whatever, because they exist in abundance...just don't allow it to drive you insane.

Bottom line: they'll get over it. Move your own ass to another table. Better yet, stop doing your non-law review work at school like a good 3L. ;)

1L YaYas are Starting to Annoy Me...Really

Congratulations, you survived first semester. It was a traumatic experience... I remember. Then again, I slacked off, partied ostentatiously before exams (still do) and still kicked ass. That's just what I do. So you didn't do as well as you wanted? Well, really you should have taken my advice ("know it all and you'll be fine, works every time").

So what are 1Ls doing? They're being little bitches.

As far as I know, they are going out and buying a pair of jeans and wearing them and having life changing experiences and then mailing them to their other 1L friends to do the same. There is this whole YaYa sisterhood going on with the 1Ls. They have formed these really annoying, pathetic, and vain support groups. "It's okay, I did poorly too...but, we're going to study together in the law school atrium, then starbucks, and then at Phaedrus's table. We're going to work hard, struggle, achieve, persevere and we're going to raise our GPA & Classrank and then make law review, then work at biglaw, and then work 40 hours a week and retire early." Well, at least the GPA thing. I can't figure out why this annoys me so, other than it is completely pathetic. It's childish. It's futile. It's taking away my study table. It's really just a lame excuse for the friend who really needs a boyfriend to feel better about herself.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all about goals: setting them, achieving them, exceeding them. Just don't take my table. Get a life, watch Grey's Anatomy together like most normal girls, go buy new nike running shorts that never get used for running, or even (Gasp) try to go on a date. Despite the feel good talk professors give you this time of the year about grades, grades are pretty much locked in. First you are graded on a curve--it really puts you in your place. While there is usually an exception or two, this is usually an exception or two--it's not Good Will Hunting. Even if you come to school, clean the floors, think you're smarter than everyone else, and do complex math/legal problems on the board, you're probably not the exception. Second, people at the top of the class are usually smarter than you. What does this mean? It means they know better than to take graded classes. The whole art of law school is taking 75% ungraded classes and 25% guaranteed A's... this locks in your GPA and Class rank.

Long story short, the Law School Traveling Pants YaYa Studygroup Sisterhood should get a life, a boyfriend, or disband. I don't really care, just do one.

Judgments & Assumptions

Whenever I see a girl in law school who has a mild case of acne, I assume that she is on her period.

Why Exams Are the Best Time of Year

So my secured transactions exam is tomorrow. The prof is giving us a true 1L issue-spotting exam, but I can't bring myself to hate her because she's a bright-eyed baby prof who hasn't been torched by academia OR practice yet. It seems that way at least. Either that, or I'm just seeing what I want to see.

I care so much about this final that I've studied for roughly 4 hours out of the last two weeks, even though my de facto holiday/finals "break" started before the week of Thanksgiving. My weapons loadout for this exam will include the internet, a gift outline, and the 2000 edition of the secured transactions Nutshell. Right now, I am sipping an admittedly weak gin and tonic while watching West Wing Season 1. Earlier, I chewed through half of Scrubs Season 7.

If I could stroll out of there two hours early with a C-, I would take it and never look back.

I'm not sure "apathy" is the appropriate term anymore. As long as I don't fail any hours I'll have to make up later, thereby extending my tenure in the Fifth Circle where Dante says the slotful go, I'll ecstatically snatch my diploma from the Dean's hands, punch him in the balls, and sprint from the building...all with a goofy-ass grin on my face. Then I'll start studying from the bar ("for" the bar is merely incidental) and the grin will vanish.

Blog

As 3L's we've been beaten down with dissapointment, dissolutionment, and exhaustion. I have trouble finding the outrage for the blog. I feel like this.



Now Playing:

fat stewie video

I try to bring the rage, but it just isn't worth it.

Gen. MacArthur as a 3L: Articulating A Departure from the Phillippines

I've lost my motivation to blog anything lately. I think the swing-and-miss with the kangaroo video finally broke my blogging will. I even have an extensive backlog of Prof. Tree Hugger quotes, including one in which we bantered about Jurassic Fight Club (the History Channel show) in classic 3L/apathetic prof. fashion. Phaedrus and I also played the primary roles in what has become known as "The Legend of the Horseman's Smashing Pumpkin" around our class.

Blogging here just isn't giving me the outlet I need anymore. Perhaps I will share more amusing anecdotes in the future, but I'm not going to personally try to keep The War alive. Such are the ways of the 3L.