Reward

So I got done with the monster project I've been working on for almost a month. As a reward, I get to summarize a trial transcript. It fills a box. I know this is part of the practice of law but wow is it dull. I'm waiting to get to the juicy portion of the trial. I hope I find it in the next two weeks before I leave.

Deadlines

So my first job this summer involved a lot of, "Can you get it to me tomorrow?" kind of deadlines. This job has a lot of, "Sometime before you leave" deadlines. I'll tell you nothing saps you motivation more than staring at a screen with a question presented on some basic discovery issue, knowing that if you get it done in the next three weeks, it'll be just fine.

I mean I was pretty tired after the six weeks I got put through first half but I think it was better than working on these no pressure, sleeper projects.

Weekly Law School Blog Roundup Posted

This week's roundup is posted at Thanks, But No Thanks. A direct link to the roundup post can be found here. The War of All Against All made it into this week's roundup with the Google search post regarding what it means to be in the top third in your class.

Perspectives: Anti-Cell Phone Use While Driving Laws

Oh noes, it's another "substantive" post that goes beyond our usual sarcasm and bitching. Yesterday, I experienced an increasingly common phenomenon for the first time. While on the phone with my sister, who currently lives in New Jersey, she said, "I have to go, I'm about to start driving and it's illegal to hold the phone up to your ear while driving in New Jersey." This was the first time anyone has ever ended a phone conversation with me because the person was about to go driving.

I usually reserve my planned phone calls SPECIFICALLY for driving time so I can sort of multitask instead of having those calls take up time I could spend doing something else. I also like to spend driving time on the phone because it is an effective way to occupy my mind while performing the relatively mundane task of keeping the vehicle under control.

Many states now regulate cell phone use while driving in some form. One of the most common regulatory approaches is to require the use of a hands-free device for cell phone use while driving. However, opponents of regulation often argue that the problem lies in the distraction of the conversation, not in the use of the phone itself. While I agree with that to some extent, are those opponents willing to entertain the notion of making it illegal to talk to one's passengers? I don't think that would ever happen, but that's one logical conclusion of that argument. Here is a color-coded map of states with various levels of laws on point:

What do you guys think about this issue? Should states be regulating cell phone use while driving at all? What form should this regulation take? Do we like the hands-free requirements already adopted in many states? Do we need to go further and require drivers to bind and gag their passengers to avoid conversational distractions from backseat drivers? Please discuss in the comments. Seriously.

I anticipate a debate of epic proportions in the comments, by which I mean I expect to get at least one post from Phaedrus being a dickhead, one from El Guapo employing some good ol' boy Southern sense, and one from mootgoescow including at least one internetism.

Google Search of the Day - 7/9/08

These posts are always fun. The blog has been around long enough to accumulate some fairly amusing search terms resulting in hits to our site, so I will post one of these every few days. I will also add some brief commentary that I hope will elucidate why these enterprising Googlers would resort to such search strings. Think of it as a little amusement pellet to get you through your otherwise boring day.

Google search of the day:
perversion school 02


Note that this is a different item from the one mentioned in a previous post in which I revealed the "perversion in the school" search term. This suggests someone actually GRADUATED from somewhere known as PERVERSION SCHOOL and is proud of his '02 class. I think it was Phaedrus.

Sexism in the Workplace: A Lesson from Google Chat

Ladies, take note. Do NOT get involved with, date, sleep with, kiss, touch, associate with, or especially marry our new blogger. He will claim you as .7 of a person for tax purposes, and you don't need all those headaches from the IRS.

Disclaimer: The views expressed over various IM services by any individual blogger do not reflect the views of this blog and are posted solely as a public service so our readers can avoid being sexually harassed by mootgoescow. If you take this seriously for any reason, you officially have no sense of humor and should immediately commit suicide by ingesting several boxes of rat poison.

Guy Fawkes: I would be perfect happy if the two of you ended up happily married with 14.7 children

mootgoescow: gross

Guy Fawkes: what, the .7 children?

i know, dividing kids up is disgusting...it can be an extremely bloody process

mootgoescow: no, that's easily explained by us having one girl

the 14 part is gross

Guy Fawkes: wait, girls are only .7 of a child?

mootgoescow: yea

Guy Fawkes: so a woman is only .7 of a person?...or does the ratio change somewhere along the way

mootgoescow: no they're only .7 of a person

when have girls ever really been our equals? please

Guy Fawkes: nice

brb, i need to visit the blog real quick so i can alienate all our female readers

mootgoescow: haha
oh that's going to be bad

Another Fun Search String

Someone from Google hit our blog using the search string "perversion in the school." That's almost as good as "deaf kid from Barney," a search string for which we were once in the top five on Google. Perhaps this post will put us back at the top. Get on it, faithful readers!

Breaking News: New Blogger Makes Guy Fawkes Revert to 9th Grade Sense of Humor

mootgoescow: if only i had a hot female associate under my desk
mootgoescow: it would help pass 3 minutes so much faster

The Reason We Have a New Blogger

Guy Fawkes: we used to joke about getting Law Review polos made and then standing outside the undergrad bar with a giant net

mootgoescow: dude you should

Guy Fawkes: to catch drunk girls

mootgoescow: i dont see why it hasnt happened already...maybe some sort of tort

Lawsuits Against Sports Equipment? Really?

To the visitor who hit our blog using the Google search "sue Hank Aaron's bat": thank you. You brightened an otherwise dreary afternoon in the gray-hued, fluorescent cubicle hell of a state agency. Sheer brilliance.

Should There Be a "Duty to Rescue"?

This video, in which a hit-and-run driver hits a man and passers-by do nothing but gawk, sparked a conversation between me and a fellow law clerk about whether tort law should recognize a duty to rescue.

According to the Wikipedia "duty to rescue" article, many European nations at least recognize a duty to contact emergency authorities, although only a few impose a full-fledged affirmative duty to rescue.

What do you guys think American jurisdictions should do with this issue? Should we continue imposing no duty to rescue? Is an affirmative duty to rescue a good idea? Why or why not? What about an intermediate solution such as imposing a duty to contact authorities?

This is a genuine, substantive post. Let's get some comments going for once!

Office Amusement

I have mentally checked out for the rest of the day, which I think is legitimate considering that it's almost 4:30 PM on the Friday of a holiday weekend. Plus, I work at a state agency. Holidays and mental check-outs are perks.

To pass the time, I am biting the extremities off some mini-Teddy Grahams (cinnamon). Does it make me a sadist if I pretend that they scream?

Comments

I know it's "summer," but come on people. We are actually posting regularly for once, so leave us some comments! Bored summer clerks need attention from the internets while at work.

Feeling Underdressed...

The other two clerks in the office started today. One of the attorneys took the three of us to a hearing on a motion for a preliminary injunction on the U. of Texas affirmative action admissions program. I knew about this hearing last Friday, but the wording of the e-mail instructing me to attend led me to think that it was an internal administrative hearing by the University. Clearly, I was mistaken.

Since our office dress code is "casual" by most standards (for men, khakis and a tucked-in collared shirt), I showed up at work wearing my usual khakis and dress shirt. I was mortified when I heard that we were going to a federal court hearing. To make matters worse, both of the other clerks independently decided to wear a suit on the first day of work even though it is not required (or even preferred). Needless to say, I was the only person in the hearing who was not wearing a coat and tie. I was even more conspicuous because I chose a light green shirt, a color that starkly contrasts with the usual coat and tie colors. At least the judge didn't call me out. Apparently he is known to do such things, so perhaps I just lucked out.

Recent Ironies and Other Minutiae

It seems as though our bloggers have gotten off to a good start at our respective summer jobs. I am solidly on the government lawyer track, as I am working for the Office of General Counsel for the University of Texas System for the first half and the state AG's office in my home state during the second half.

The UTOGC office seems like a great place to be. It's laid back (read: no suit and tie dress code), yet quite busy at the same time. The workload will be sufficient to keep me busy, which is always nice because I despise having nothing to do at work. Plus, it's in Austin TX, perhaps one of the most amazing places to live in the country (world?). The city is well-planned, clean, and relatively safe. There is a broad range of activities available to suit almost any taste, including live music of all kinds, sports events, the most diverse bar scene I've ever encountered through my admittedly limited experience, art museums, great restaurants, political meetings, etc. On top of that, it's within easy driving distance of Schlitterbahn, the world's largest water park, and a Six Flags location. I'm no hippie, but there is something nice about living in a place where "keep [the city] weird" is the semi-official local slogan. It's one of the little blue islands in the great red sea of Texas. On my first day out to lunch, I was accosted by Greenpeace demonstrators and a guy who was freewheeling downhill in what appeared to be a wheelchair designed for racing. Austin is an interesting place indeed.

Some recent tidbits I found amusing:

1. While sorting out the inevitable IT issues one encounters when starting a new office-type job, I had occasion to visit the UT Office of Technology and Information Services. When the tech went to print the form that would allow me to upgrade my user account, he discovered that his computer did not have the proper printer installed.

2. While watching a VH1 episode of Sex: The Revolution, I noticed that they had to censor all the nudity. Apparently the revolution has not reached FCC regulations.

3. Saving Private Ryan was on TNT, and they did not censor any words except "fuck." However, other programs on TNT change "Jesus Christ" to "cheese and rice" and do not allow the use of "God damn" or any of its iterations. If they can air the word "bullshit" a few dozen times during a movie, why on earth are they still worried about offending the sensibilities of religious people who are probably already changing the channel because of the "cursing"? I'm all for just letting it all out, sensibilities be damned.

Well...So It's Summer

The end of first year arrived with the proverbial drunken revelry, but it has departed in a boring and somewhat sober fashion. Everyone is gone for one reason or another. Most people are working for law firms in various cities around the state. However, this should not be interpreted as an indication that anyone in our class actually got a job through OCI. Almost everyone with a summer job got it through some connection related to family, previous work, etc.

Some students in the 2L class are doing summer programs in Switzerland or Australia. First, it's odd to think of ourselves as 2L's. It's also perhaps a little premature for a few people in the class who shall remain nameless. Anyone who actually reads his appellate brief at the podium and yells at the student judges during oral arguments has a good chance of being one of the few people to ever actually fail out of law school. Honestly, how bad does it have to be when the most awkwardly nice professor on the planet tells you that your argument was a "train wreck." Anyways...second...ah, to have money for traveling. I suppose I could have talked the parents into one of those programs considering that they were going to send dearest little sister to Egypt this summer. Yes, Egypt...really. I know people say "bumfuck Egypt" as a clever way of conveying the concept of "the middle of nowhere," but it really is Egypt this time. I'll have to get out of the country one of these days, but it just didn't feel quite right this summer. That's mostly the case because I didn't feel like spending my remaining loan money on a foreign summer program.

Some people are just taking a break and bumming around. I probably fall into this category at the moment in some sense, but it will only last for a couple of weeks before summer classes start and the beloved law review write-on competition materials are released. It's quite nice to have time to actually breathe and not feel guilty for doing anything not school or career-related. However, it's not so nice when your new part-time employer wants you to cover an entire day alone in the library starting at 7:30 AM when you have yet to even check out a book. I'm really just bitter because I have to be here at 7:30 AM...the job isn't so bad. It mostly consists of sitting at the desk ready to be helpful. I can read (leisure reading, holy shit!), play around on my laptop, and do pretty much anything else that isn't loud and/or obscene. Do-nothing jobs are great for about 3-4 hours at a time but agonizingly boring much beyond that, so I hope this all-day thing doesn't become the normal course of business.

Some people are having major dental procedures that will hopefully signal the beginning of the end of years of spending more hours in dentists' offices than anyone except the dentists themselves. Said people are missed very much.

Shit...I just realized that I'm still doing something school-related even though classes are not in session and I'm not working for a law firm. It really is impossible to escape.