A Reply: The Elegant, Obvious Solution to 1L Self-Loathing

I originally posted this as a comment to Phaedrus' immediately preceding post, but it became too long to be a comment on a post:


Phaedrus, you still have it all wrong. Grades and class rank only have a HIGHLY tenuous correlation to intelligence, writing ability, and logical thinking.

The only way to make the correlation strong enough to be statistically significant, thereby making it a genuinely useful indicator of something practical (other than for employers who just want the "type" that is usually at the top of the class), is to extend the timeline over a period of many, many years (decades?). Even then, good luck controlling for all those spurious causes that arise during the intervening period.

That's all a (general) statistical way of saying "grades and class rank don't say jack shit about the individual, and they don't really even say much about the overall class." You know this.

My solution to the school-related issues these 1Ls are experiencing is simple: just. give. up. You know, as Fight Club and The Postal Service might say. Stop struggling. Accept it, and the benefits will come, including higher grades for a lot of people.

Everyone (me more than most...) is going to rage against "the system" of law school/the profession, but it's better to stop allowing it to get in your head as early as possible. Critique it, spot the flaws, whatever, because they exist in abundance...just don't allow it to drive you insane.

Bottom line: they'll get over it. Move your own ass to another table. Better yet, stop doing your non-law review work at school like a good 3L. ;)

A One-Sided Divorce: Trees, Rabbits, and Questioning Humanity

I don't even know what to nickname our Family Law prof. He has the best stories, as most divorce lawyers seem to. I'll post some of them here from time to time. Taking suggestions on names for him.

Story
“I represented this one guy who wanted the trees out of his front yard and the six rabbits they had. That's it, no house, no money, nothing...just the trees and the rabbits. He would NOT budge. I told him the judge would never award him the trees in the yard by themselves, but he refused to come off it. I was embarrassed to go to the other lawyer and tell him about the trees and rabbits. But the judge gave him the trees and rabbits. About a week later, I called the guy to see how he was doing.

Attorney: ‘What happened to those rabbits, they keeping you company?’
Client: ‘Nope. Ate ‘em.’
Attorney: ... ... ... ... ... *stunned silence* 'Well...what about the trees??? We dug them out of the yard, replanted them, and re-sodded the yard, not to mention the billable hours it cost to get all that done. You realize this cost you thousands of dollars, right?'
Client: 'Bitch took my stove, but not my axe, my lighter fluid, or my lawn chairs. How do you think I cooked the rabbits?'"
/end story

The sad thing is that one day, he will tell one of these stories and a student will recognize one of his/her relatives as the subject.

Wow

I am not unhirable or undesirable! I just got a job offer. Seriously a job offer job offer. I'll see what their details are and what else comes up but it is good to feel like once in my law school life that I have a world of yes in front of me. I know, I know. If I accept I'll join the ranks of biglaw associates who are overworked. I may not be seen by loved ones including my wife for weeks at a time. I'll take my chances.

Again, I haven't accepted anything and won't for a while but thought I'd share some good news on the forum I usually complain about life on.

I'll let Randy Newman tell you about it . . .