Prof. JAG: “What if you're a pilot who has to eject, and you start thinking ‘man, these guys are going to come after me when I hit the ground’? So you pull out your 9mm on the way down and start shooting at an anti-aircraft emplacement. What’s your legal status then?”
Student: “Dead.”
Prof. JAG: “Skeet.”
Showing posts with label Darwin Award. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Darwin Award. Show all posts
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Today in Products Liability
Heard while discussing a textbook problem re: a case involving a kid who got hurt on a playground:
Student: "We need to bring back more biological Darwinism. These plaintiffs are the same parents who put 8 inches of clothes on their kids when they see snow flurries. They need to get over themselves and just let their kids get hurt a little bit."
Prof: "Well, this kid has brain damage...I'm not sure if they can afford to let him get hurt like that."
Student: "He won't do it again, will he?"
Student: "We need to bring back more biological Darwinism. These plaintiffs are the same parents who put 8 inches of clothes on their kids when they see snow flurries. They need to get over themselves and just let their kids get hurt a little bit."
Prof: "Well, this kid has brain damage...I'm not sure if they can afford to let him get hurt like that."
Student: "He won't do it again, will he?"
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Gen. MacArthur as a 3L: Articulating A Departure from the Phillippines
I've lost my motivation to blog anything lately. I think the swing-and-miss with the kangaroo video finally broke my blogging will. I even have an extensive backlog of Prof. Tree Hugger quotes, including one in which we bantered about Jurassic Fight Club (the History Channel show) in classic 3L/apathetic prof. fashion. Phaedrus and I also played the primary roles in what has become known as "The Legend of the Horseman's Smashing Pumpkin" around our class.
Blogging here just isn't giving me the outlet I need anymore. Perhaps I will share more amusing anecdotes in the future, but I'm not going to personally try to keep The War alive. Such are the ways of the 3L.
Blogging here just isn't giving me the outlet I need anymore. Perhaps I will share more amusing anecdotes in the future, but I'm not going to personally try to keep The War alive. Such are the ways of the 3L.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
French Humor, It Exists, Oui?
Admittedly, I have an unusually strong penchant for some odd types of humor. See, for example, the immediately preceding post. However, I think almost everyone can appreciate this legitimately epic gem that is currently making the rounds online. I would not post this if it wasn't worth watching all the way through. I have only come to tears from laughter roughly four times in my life, including about 10 minutes ago. All I will say is that it involves a "jackass kangaroo."
Consider how long it probably took these insane Frenchies to get some of the shots in the video. Hopping through at precisely the right time to steal fast food as it passes through the drive-through window? Few words can describe the brilliance of this absurdity.
Consider how long it probably took these insane Frenchies to get some of the shots in the video. Hopping through at precisely the right time to steal fast food as it passes through the drive-through window? Few words can describe the brilliance of this absurdity.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
A One-Sided Divorce: Trees, Rabbits, and Questioning Humanity
I don't even know what to nickname our Family Law prof. He has the best stories, as most divorce lawyers seem to. I'll post some of them here from time to time. Taking suggestions on names for him.
Story
“I represented this one guy who wanted the trees out of his front yard and the six rabbits they had. That's it, no house, no money, nothing...just the trees and the rabbits. He would NOT budge. I told him the judge would never award him the trees in the yard by themselves, but he refused to come off it. I was embarrassed to go to the other lawyer and tell him about the trees and rabbits. But the judge gave him the trees and rabbits. About a week later, I called the guy to see how he was doing.
Attorney: ‘What happened to those rabbits, they keeping you company?’
Client: ‘Nope. Ate ‘em.’
Attorney: ... ... ... ... ... *stunned silence* 'Well...what about the trees??? We dug them out of the yard, replanted them, and re-sodded the yard, not to mention the billable hours it cost to get all that done. You realize this cost you thousands of dollars, right?'
Client: 'Bitch took my stove, but not my axe, my lighter fluid, or my lawn chairs. How do you think I cooked the rabbits?'"
/end story
The sad thing is that one day, he will tell one of these stories and a student will recognize one of his/her relatives as the subject.
Story
“I represented this one guy who wanted the trees out of his front yard and the six rabbits they had. That's it, no house, no money, nothing...just the trees and the rabbits. He would NOT budge. I told him the judge would never award him the trees in the yard by themselves, but he refused to come off it. I was embarrassed to go to the other lawyer and tell him about the trees and rabbits. But the judge gave him the trees and rabbits. About a week later, I called the guy to see how he was doing.
Attorney: ‘What happened to those rabbits, they keeping you company?’
Client: ‘Nope. Ate ‘em.’
Attorney: ... ... ... ... ... *stunned silence* 'Well...what about the trees??? We dug them out of the yard, replanted them, and re-sodded the yard, not to mention the billable hours it cost to get all that done. You realize this cost you thousands of dollars, right?'
Client: 'Bitch took my stove, but not my axe, my lighter fluid, or my lawn chairs. How do you think I cooked the rabbits?'"
/end story
The sad thing is that one day, he will tell one of these stories and a student will recognize one of his/her relatives as the subject.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Some People Just Deserve What They Get
I was in court today watching a rearrangement for a defendant who was entering into a plea agreement. The judge was going through the traditional colloquy:
Judge: Are you under the influence of drugs?
Defendant: No.
Judge: Are you currently taking any prescription medications?
Defendant: Yes.
Judge: You are? [You dumbass! A simple "no" is all you are supposed to say.] Which medications are you currently taking?
Me (thinking): Please say something great like oxycotin, codene, or something great that will get you in even more trouble or invalidate your plea agreement!!!! Please!
Defendant: Valtrex.
Defendant's Husband (from the audience): WHAT?!?!?!
Judge: Do we need to take a short recess?
Judge: Are you under the influence of drugs?
Defendant: No.
Judge: Are you currently taking any prescription medications?
Defendant: Yes.
Judge: You are? [You dumbass! A simple "no" is all you are supposed to say.] Which medications are you currently taking?
Me (thinking): Please say something great like oxycotin, codene, or something great that will get you in even more trouble or invalidate your plea agreement!!!! Please!
Defendant: Valtrex.
Defendant's Husband (from the audience): WHAT?!?!?!
Judge: Do we need to take a short recess?
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