When the going gets tough

I've been meaning to start this painting for weeks, but in true fashion have left it until the last minute. Shh... don't tell, but it's a present for my twin nieces. I'm hoping that when finished it will be pretty enough to hang in their bedroom for a good few years.

Thought I would share WIP with Sunday Sketches. I am not entirely happy with progress so far - there has already been much rubbing out and adjustment I can tell you my friends. The fairies are being fickle with me today. I've already got rid of loads of green - while it looked rather lush and verdant, I wasn't sure it was exactly going to match the delicate pastel shades of their bedroom. I decided to have a glass of wine and a browse around some other artist sites to see if that helped.

It didn't.

So why we wait for the sudden splash of magenta I added to dry (so I can paint over that too), let me tell you more about today - today being Saturday, though I shall probably post the day after.

I felt it was about time I left the house and ventured further afield than the supermarket. I've tried many cures for this cold, and while it finally seems to be packing its bags and heading out of the door with a forlorn expression, it was still lurking up the garden path. Desperate measures clearly called for. I did what all women do in such a scenario.... I went clothes shopping!

I took this project very seriously - driving to the next town where the shops are large and bountiful. The fates were smiling on me as I bagged one of the rare 'free parking' spaces. I entered the busy mall with a clear plan in mind. Knowing my general state of fatigue, I would have to limit browsing and hit the minimum of stores with hopefully the maximum output.

Success dear readers, success. One tunic, one pair of trousers, one pair of sandals (£10 off - even better), a few art supplies and a pack of M&S Yum Yums for 'im indoors.. All this in under two hours. Clearly this illness is worse than I thought - just two hours spent shopping... What was I thinking?

When I got back I had a little snooze... (in case you are wondering - the little fella is away with his Dad this weekend!).

Right, I'm off to see if that paint has dried.

Hmm, it appears that my little girls look the size of dolls - either that or their fairy godmother is a giant. Why didn't I notice that before? Back to the drawing board... More paint and how about some bits of flowery tissue paper... 
Some things are just not meant to be. I am rather happy with this though. It won't be a present for little girls, but I can see something dramatic forming out of this - a change in direction...

While I'm here and in full waffle mode, thought I would share with you that since I switched off the 'captcha' thing for my comments, I've had no spam whatsoever. It does make commenting less laborious when you don't have to fill out those letters. I think blogger have improved their spam filters a great deal, so might be worth a try to switch yours off for a trial period - hint, hint....

Now, how on earth am I going to tackle this painting? Hopefully by the time you read this there'll be another (much better sketch) posted below all this writing!

BIG mistake... HUGE...

When you're feeling a little under the weather (and speaking of which, rather fed up with the compacted snow and sub-zero temperatures), really wound up and tense, snappy and snarly... what's the best medicine? Staying at home with your loved ones in the warm watching old movies? A soothing sketch or two? Or, hitting the sales?

Sometimes I wonder where my common sense went. Apparently I took it with me shopping.

BIG mistake - we're talking Julia Roberts-style, longer than Rodeo Drive, HUGE mistake! Fighting traffic, wading through slush, fighting through crowds of zombie-like shoppers ambling three-a-breast, tangled clothes pulling six hangers off the rail, surly shop assistants with anti-customer policies....

I'm still shuddering at the horror of the whole experience now. Some people were just designed to be Sale shoppers and some of us should stick to shops that end in letters like .com or .co.uk. Much safer on the sensibilities I can tell you.

Still, there's a bright side. I'm home now, smelling sweetly of 'half price' body lotions, plugged into soothing music and... I didn't spend much!

I'm not too sure what has wound me like a coiled spring (a rusty, creaking one at that). Perhaps I have chopped too many vegetables over the past few days or maybe it's because I had to pack away 'my art studio' so we could actually sit at the posh dining table over the festive season... Am I suffering withdrawal? Should I shove some acrylic paint down my fingernails or spill glue down my clothes to make me feel better?

How to shop with a man at Christmas

Personally, I prefer to leave my man at home when I shop. He can be a proper nuisance, dragging me into electronics shops for repetitive browsing and then giving me less than 30 seconds to look at important things like shoes and handbags. However, sometimes it's necessary to have them tag along - notably when they need to pay for things. There's also the added bonus of hand holding and general pleasure at being in their company (but don't tell him I said that).

What many women fail to do though is to fully understand what to do with a man in a shopping environment. They just don't recognise their limits. Take today for example. I had some serious mooching to do in Marks & Spencer and this particular store had three floors to mooch upon (what more could a girl ask for?). I could sense the agitation pulsing through his veins (another advantage of holding hands) and so before any form of stress overload could occur I securely deposited him at the boyfriend/husband creche aka the Cafe. There, installed with coffee and tabloid he was happy to sit quietly while I raced up and down the escalators clutching stocking fillers and trying my best to avoid the ladies' clothing department.

Other women should heed my advice. That way I would not have found my journey around the store constantly hampered by men trying to 'keep out of the way' and succeeding instead at being everywhere they shouldn't. Like a herd of lost sheep they wander slowly down the aisles weighed down by swinging carrier bags with sharp protuberances. Annoyed wives wave 'jumpers for Mother' at them expecting some sort of response. Come on, you've been married 25 years, surely you've realised by now he has no sense of fashion and is colour blind?

This post is therefore a heartfelt plea. Unless absolutely necessary, please leave your man at home where he is most comfortable - on the sofa with remote in close proximity. Failing that, just keep him out of my way! Remember, credit cards with pin numbers were invented (by a woman) for a reason.

Happy Shopping!

These boots were made for...

Well, me actually!

I am enjoying my first dates with the objects of my lust. Yes friends, my new boots were finally brought home this weekend. Carefully unwrapped from delicate tissue and lifted reverently from the box, they gazed upon their new owner. It was love at first sight.

Having spent the weekend in the company of my two best boys (son and boyfriend); they only received their first proper appreciation in the (predominatly female) office – in the special way that only other women (and possibly gay men) possess for admiring each other’s clothing and footwear purchases.

Much ooh-ing and ahh-ing has been heard from the lips of the ladies. A lunchtime outing to, coincidentally, Boots (the chemist) also saw a shop assistant so overcome by their magnificence that she felt compelled to comment upon them. I felt like Victoria Beckham attracting the attention of the paparazzi as she sports her latest skinny number.

Yes, the boots are certainly a big hit and worth not only the wait but the expense. And, not only do they look good but they are comfortable too – surely too much to ask! I shall be wearing skirts all week to show off to best advantage…

I wrote this before I discovered I had failed to impress the judges at the 'job of your dreams' contest. Despite reaching the final four, the winner's podium and record deal eluded me. I guess it just wasn't meant to be - unlike my ownership of these boots...

First kiss

My first sight of my new love happened, as is typical, when I least expected it. I mean you could could go fruitlessly searching for romance at a dating site, but end up meeting the man of your dreams over the apples in Tesco; that's the vagaries of fate for you.

So, there I was skimming the pages of an underwear catalogue (for women of a larger bust, not that you need to know that, but hey, I'm proud of my assets). I never thought I'd fall in lust whilst browing knickers and bras but BANG - there it happened.

Of course, underwear catalogues only help you buy well, underwear... all other embellishments are merely for 'decoration', there to assist the sale. Regrettably, there's no helpful shopper's guide for anything else that takes your fancy on the page. And so, with regret, I accepted that it was highly unlikely we'd ever get to meet, let alone become intimately acquainted. Until today...

Heart-fluttering moments were far from my thoughts when I set out on my errand. A quick trip into town, check out the art expo, then home and cook lunch. Simple. Wrong.

I don't know what called me into that shop in particular, perhaps it was the enticing scent of expensive leather. In fact, I'd been in there a while and was heading back towards the door when that moment of recognition clanged like a cymbol, awakening my memory and assailing my senses.

The object of my lust was there... before my eyes... just standing there. I'm sorry, but I couldn't help myself. I'm ashamed to say I just grabbed, held, stroked, sniffed and yes, held tantalising close to my face and... kissed.

Those boots might be the most expensive pieces of footwear I've ever owned but they are sooooo lovely..... Well, they will be when they arrive in the shop - didn't have my size in brown, but the black size 39 fitted perfectly. Just a week to wait before we become attached... I see myself living in them all winter. I may even take them to bed... If you want to see a picture, see page 46 of the Autumn Bravissimo catalogue and let the green-eyed monster take you...


My Sunday Scribble - a fun, weekly writing challenge. Theme this week: First kiss. Yeah, I know that it's cheating - who kisses boots eh? And they don't kiss back, but really... you should see these boots...

Monsoon season

The tropical palms waved overhead and the sunlight filtering through dappled and danced along the path like a troop of fairies on their way to the summer ball. She strolled arm in arm with her lover in blissful ignorance of the adventure that awaited.

Suddenly, something caught her eye and the hairs on the back of her neck began to rise a little. Truth be told, she had half been expecting it; after all it was the season for such an event. Like a moth to the flame she directed their otherwise meaningless amble towards the bright, shining colour and tried to control the rising excitement in her heaving breast.

Monsoon summer sale - up to 70% off. Ahh, it was pre-destined. How could she avoid the pull of what was meant to be? Her lover tried to put up a fight against the mesmeric pull that took her towards the swinging signs above the multitude of print and pattern. He was no match for the power of the Monsoon and was forced to retreat to the bench outside under the indoor palms in the shopping mall.

Inside a shower of colour - vibrant and fresh. She was drenched in texture and detailing, fighting alongside the heaving, steaming mass of other Monsoon worshippers drenched in the thrill of the chase.

Pitter patter pitter patted chimed the clothes hangers as they clashed together as each hunter fumbled through the bright but dense foliage. At last she found the treasure for which she was searching (something actually in her size) and then the river swelled by the Monsoon burst forth into a fountain of twinkling delight.

Weighed down by the silky fabric she retreated behind the velvet curtain to observe her finds in privacy. As each caressed her skin and she twirled in its reflection, she knew she had to possess it. The beauty must be hers.

Trembling she dashed to the raven-haired and bewitching smile of the attendant and handed over a small, yet dangerously powerful plastic token.

Retreating finally back into the bright white light of the path she found her lover waiting. He did not look happy. "Two minutes you said you'd be" he muttered as they continued on their journey. But his discomfort and annoyance could not dispel the magic that was held within the paper package and laughing delightedly she smiled at his perplexed yet handsome features and offered to buy him lunch.

(And yes, the dusky maiden is my likeness - with a dash of hope and imagination!)