Nothing to See Here

 I find it so hard to believe I used to have so much to say. Every hike with Mabel was a freaking adventure... she was always into something! But between my abject depression over the work situation and the fact I have the best hiking buddy in the world, there is nothing to see or talk about.

Our creek has dried up and we've resorted to going to sketchy areas in search of swims.

We were meeting friends for a "late" morning hike 2 weeks ago... 8:30 am! Plans got changed and Maizy and I went alone on the mountain trail shortly before 9. It was so blazing hot and the water was in the car! We had to negotiate from shade puddle to shade puddle.  We were both so drained from the heat, I was afraid one or both of us wouldn't make it off the mountain! You could see my heart beat outside my t-shirt even when I was standing still!

 "I swear the next shade puddle is right around that bend!"

It was so hot... I've never seen MT simply refuse to keep moving! It was scary and I have to never do anything that stupid again! The heat just gets to me way more than it did when I was younger.

But now that my beloved job is over and the reality that I may never have it so good ever again is setting in...it's too hard to make myself do anything but rest. I'm trying to be gentle with myself. Transitions are hard but getting harder. And, I have only taken 9 1/2 hours of vacation in a year and 9 months. 

MT and I hope everyone is having a wonderful summer!

I Don't NEED Words!

Canine communication really is a wonderful thing. When you spend lots of time with your dog (MT and I are together 24/7 every day but Mondays when I run errands and see doctors.), if you have the most basic of observation skills, you begin to understand what your pup is "saying." 

It's no secret that I've been frustrated with Maizy True's progress using her AAC device. We do have amazing moments with it. I gave her "yes / no" buttons last Saturday and was modeling. "Coffee / no," "Water / yes." I got the bright idea to model with her toy. I picked it up and was teasing Maizy and saying "play / yes." Then I laid the toy down and said "play / no." 

She seemed interested, taking it all in. I got more animated, tickling her with her toy as I pressed "play / yes." Then, I threw the toy down, pressed "play / no" and walked toward the kitchen. 

While my back was turned, she pressed, "hike / yes!" I begged nooooo. Hike later. Too hot. But, she was up and out the door! So we took the hottest hike ever and I nearly died all because I wanted to reward her for using a brand new button minutes after getting it!

The other day, I had to call my cable company. It's one of those frustrating robo "press this / press that / confirm your account / I'm sorry I didn't get that" situations. (I seriously think every CEO should have to attempt to reach her company's customer service on a monthly basis as part of her job!) I usually end up screaming into the phone. Maizy often moves far away from me as soon as she realizes I'm on the phone with a recording. She jumped off the sofa. I thought she was going to get in her bed. But she walked over her board, pausing on her bed and with her BACK FOOT, pressed "outside" and stood by the door. Our first back foot press!!! 

But it was no button press at all that astounded me today! We had slept late and it was almost time for her normal breakfast. I keep trying to find ways to give her choices in hopes she will interact with me on the board more. So, I asked "Maizy / eat" now or "Maizy / hike" now? I waited. I could see her thinking... She turned and walked to the closet where her neighborhood walking tack is stored and looked at the door! She was very clearly telling me she wanted to stick with her usual routine of exercise first / eat after...even if breakfast would be late! 

It's a good reminder to communicate in whatever form it comes in!

Lost

You're probably wondering if I've disappeared again... and I admit I have not been great about posting. I thought Maizy's talking skills would give me oodles to talk about...but she's slow learner and not talkative. And that's OK. But I feel like the bottom has fallen out of my world. I've lost the only job I ever loved!

 

I realize most of you probably have no idea what I've been up to. I lost my high school teaching job due to COVID. They wanted to return all their teacher specialists to the classrooms (which no longer existed). I worked so much harder during those first months of COVID, trying desperately to engage the disengaged teenagers...it was exhausting. Still, I managed to realize two of my favorite kiddos were suicidal and get them help... all while working over zoom and google classroom. 

But when it was over, I really didn't care! I made feeble attempts at looking for another teaching position but, something inside me told me it would not be a safe environment for me. Not with COVID out there. I am diabetic and not at my ideal weight; I have asthma. And I never knew if I would have to dash off to Louisiana to see about Mom. I was terrified of her dying of that crap! It didn't help that a sorority sister of mine died from it the second week we were on lock-down. (I've since lost an older hiking buddy to it as well.) 

By late summer, I knew I needed a better plan. I started thinking about the pandemic and realized contact tracing was an "at home" job. So I started applying and got hired... terrified I had to drive to West L.A. to fill out paperwork in some office! But, while there, they sized me up as "leadership material" and I found myself a middle management job leading a team of contact tracers in the ever-changing world of pandemic driven public health. 

It was a 3 month job I started in September of 2020. I thought by January of 2021, I'd take a midyear sub job and return to teaching "when COVID is over."  I'll wait while you finish laughing................

That December, my contract was bought out by a company with longer term ties to public health...same job, different employer of record. That contact was for a few months, then a year, then 10 more months. It was supposed to end in October. But with the surge we are in now and the one predicted this winter... with our superintendent of schools not requiring vaccines for children until next fall (!!!!!!)... with Monkey pox, AIDS, hepatitis flares.... and every health agency I meet with saying that contact tracing needs to be a permanent part of public health...I fully expected the contract to be extended again (and again. )

But three weeks ago, I woke up in a panic attack. I was freaking out about finding a new job in a new career at my age! I just assumed I was thinking of October. In truth, my Pisces spidey senses were being triggered. A week ago, as our work week started there was suddenly a company wide meeting. And I knew... My employees tried to stay so positive. It was announced a 50% work force reduction was coming. I met with my team and told them any of us could go...it could be me. They scoffed. I fill in for my boss when she's out. They thought that somehow made me immune. The next day, when the letters were to come out, I was headed to oral surgery. My boss sent me lovely text...something she's never done in the three previous oral surgeries I've had since working there. And I knew for certain, I was on the list. I had my letter right after surgery was over. Every one in my position in my division was cut. All but one of contact tracers was cut. 

This is all happening due to the loss of federal funding. The Repulican'ts won't pass the COVID bill...sigh. 

It's weird...I've never MET these people. But I love them! And I love my job! That's something I've never said in 44 years of work. I have felt valued and appreciated. I know my team has saved lives. It's been such a great ride! 

And here I am, starting over again and no idea where to go.

And Three Steps Back

 From the time I added new words (Coffee, Help and hike), Maizy has seemed a bit overwhelmed and I wonder if she'll ever get it. As a teacher, I know that learning is never linear... just some upward line. That line has a lot of peaks and valleys. But I swear, we have more valleys than peaks! 

If you are following online on my data keeping, you probably wonder if I remember to write it all down or just skip days. Truth be told, I do NOT! She has days on end with no words! It's so frustrating. 

I know Maizy is smart. She's almost "Mabel-smart" (hey, Mabel could triangulate math!). She takes to things so quickly and I guess that makes this journey all the more frustrating. 

I'm sticking to the advice of waiting a week or so before adding new buttons, even if she is not interacting with them. Keep modeling - I'm so freaking tired of announcing my exits and dining habits. Keep target training. 

I thought I had an original idea the other night. Maizy loves to watch tv. I've never had a dog give a flip about television. The bad part is: There cannot be a dog on tv... Maizy barks her freaking head off. Jeez, she's loud for a little dog! But I put Bunny, Bastian & Stella videos (google those names with "talking dog" if you want to be amazed!) on tv while I was getting ready for bed. 

After one of our videos played on accident, Maizy was scream barking at herself! I was kinda dreading what was next. To my surprise, she watched intently!!! The next day, we had a record breaking FIVE button presses! Turns out, watching other dogs interact with their buttons is a recommended training technique. I'm not so smart after all! 

Since that day, we've had one a day and NONE today... and yes, we got new buttons yesterday! We are up to 12 now. So I guess today's regression is expected. But is sure is disheartening to deal with.

The Sweetest Request

 Eight days after giving Maizy her buttons, she FLOORED ME with a request. 

First a little backstory. My knee is a hot mess....worker's comp issue from teaching emotional disturbance. It really slows us down on our morning neighborhood walks. We used to get home early enough for both of us to have a leisurely breakfast and time left over for me to drink coffee on the back porch.  Maizy True loves to sit next to me as I drink coffee... She's hoping for the dregs of my cup and the scritches make it all the better. 

But with my knee acting up, most days for the last few months, I've walked the door and had to start work immediately. I don't have time for coffee, much less food and MT has to wait until I can take a quick break for her breakfast.

But we had gotten an early start that Saturday about 10 days ago. I fed Maizy and decided I had time to put my leg up while I drank coffee. I was standing by the sofa, cup in hand, trying to make sure I wasn't about to sit on the remote. Maizy had been finishing her breakfast and I wasn't really paying attention to where she was. She pressed her WATER button! I looked at her bowls... she had water. 

It slowly started to dawn on me that you drink water and you drink coffee... Could Maizy be generalizing?  No sooner did I decide she was making some reference to my coffee, she pressed OUTSIDE and looked out the door! 

Was Maizy asking for coffee on the porch?? I pressed WATER and OUTSIDE and headed out the door, followed by a very happy Maizy True! 

I was so excited. She was not only engaging with the buttons, she was applying meaning! 

And naturally, I had to mess it all up.

She SPEAKS!!!

 Well, this isn't the first time Maizy True spoke... but it IS the first time on camera!!! Yes, I was bribing her with brisket!!! 

She has made a 2 word request on Saturday...not on camera, but I just about died! I'm so proud of her! Many dogs take months to begin interacting and I know she is applying meaning to the buttons. 

My house is NOT camera ready ya'll!! But that's another issue! I'm loving this journey with her! 

But there is so much to do to PREPARE for this little talking dog experiment! Things I never thought of!  You really need to do some data tracking. Many people write things down but Maizy currently has 16 responses that I've bothered to record. It's a good idea to keep track this way...it's searchable. It's easier to look for patterns such as time of day or frequent words when they have a larger vocabulary. One of the dogs from the many boards I follow actually kept talking about "pee" and a day later said "pee ouch".... had a UTI!!  So seeing the pattern is important. 

On a side note, the Fluent Pet bulletin board page TheyCanTalk.org has many of the getting started resources if you are interested. It was there I learned how to create the form that fills in her data tracking. I had used forms to assess students when I was teaching online early in the pandemic so it was a pretty easy jump for me. Maizy's form looks like this:

I can pull it up on my phone and I can also edit that spreadsheet if I think of something later...or make meaning of what she was trying to say with her limited 5 word vocabulary!  

Then there is button placement planning. The "old timers" have really scared the heck out of me. All of the ones I follow have had to move the buttons for some reason or another... realizing one button is used most often with a word that's waaaayyy over there is a frequent complaint. And when the buttons get moved... the dogs regress and stop using them for a while! Think about it: HOW would you feel if you got up and someone decided the S on your keyboard needs to be by the T? And the A would work better by the F? It would befuddle you! And dogs have a shutting down reaction to this. 

While I've found many of the circular layouts on TheyCanTalk.org helpful... I'm a spreadsheet girl. So I made a simply Excel sheet with blocks of six .... six words fit on a soundboard... and grouped by theme.
This is my most current board plan and...it changes daily.

And then, if you want to share this... and I've never wanted to share anything MORE... there's all the social media BS to deal with. UGH!

Fluent Pet Unboxing! The Buttons Are Here!

 So in the last few years I have become OBSESSED with the talking dogs who use AAC devices to communicate. If you ever doubted dogs are sentient beings, you would most certainly change your mind when you follow some these pups. I've seen dogs "talk" about their day, express likes and dislikes. One of the pup recently informed their "mom" of a UTI! It's utterly fascinating.   

And as Maizy True is so freaking smart and I love her so darn much, I really would like to know what she has to say! So we are all in. Here is the unboxing vid and we have recorded a "outside" button and it's by the back door. 

I will say, the "Chinese rubber" smell is UNBEARABLE to someone with my allergies so all the pads / button holders are detoxing and off-gassing on the back porch! Anyone know how long it takes for the odor to dissipate? 

Here we go ya'll!

TV Dog

 I've mentioned Maizy True loves to watch TV. It's a most annoying habit as she barks at any dog that is not her or her friends. (My TV defaults to my Amazon Photos when there is no input.) This makes me think she has a sense of self and what she looks like. 

She knows commercial music that will have a dog in the piece and comes trotting in to bark at the tv. It makes it impossible to have the tv on when I'm working from home.

She really enjoys watching the pibble show "Pittbulls and Parolees" but she will bark so incessantly, I can't enjoy the show! Unless, I slip down onto her bed and wrap myself around her and quietly explain the show to her. "Those people are going to be Ollie's forever home!!!!" "Tia's gonna make sure he can ride on a boat cause the potential pawrents fish all the time!" 

If I do this, she simply watches the show! What a weirdo!

Maizy True

This is the re-homing photo of Maizy. I chose another dog. I couldn't imagine loving such a "scruffy" dog! I wrote paragraphs about my lifestyle, feeding habits, trips to the beach and dog park and the owner of that dog simply replied, "No."   No explanation; just no. And I kept returning to Maizy. I wrote her pawrents on March 6 and heard nothing. I kept thinking I didn't deserve a dog. They called on March 8th. I was running laps with my boys at school and my aide answered my phone. Spying the mean principal on the yard, he ducked into a bush and told the caller all about me and just how lucky their dog would be with me! When the coast was clear, he came running, holding out my phone. "It's the DOG!!"

She wanted me to come that night. I had a root canal at 3:30! As the dentist was drilling and drilling, all I could think about was that puppy! The dentist took so long! It was after 6. I called...it was still a 75 minute drive. They said come! We met at a church; their church. Maizy leapt out of the car and into my arms!  She was hyper / crazy / insane. I was thinking it was lack of exercise but the people at the church knew her. "Do you want her?" "YES!" 

I followed them home and fed her supper. They showed me how she was trained to potty behind the bushes. I put her in the car and she jumped out and took off down the street. The neighbors all knew her and helped me catch her.  She was nervous...but she didn't seem scared. 

She got on the bed but she didn't sleep the first night. The next day, we hit the park and breakfast at Mabel's favorite spot. She jumped on the sofa next to me and looked around and smiled.  She hasn't stopped smiling. 

She reminds me of the Mabel Lou so much! Only she lets me rub her belly and she does not argue! But so smart and so fast! She's had an argument with one of the skunks that come in the yard 3 times... and never been sprayed! Mind you, that skunk has attempted to spray ME for simply walking nearby!

We've had several vet visits, including the first one above. Maizy had DEEP ears and gets infections. I can tell when it's coming on and can often avoid a vet trip with a good cleaning. But she is TERRIFIED of the vet's office. Not the vet though. 

Maizy has a wicked good sense of humor and loves game play. She is honestly the happiest dog I've ever known! 

She's a hunter! I found evidence of her playing with her prey on my bedroom floor, my bed and in the yard! She's brought me a mouse she killed in the yard! And she's gotten a few critters at the creek....but she leaves the ground squirrels alone. We really need to discuss that.

She is also the only dog I've ever had that pays attention to the tv! She barks at any and every dog on television and many other animals! It's exhausting. The other day I really wanted to watch The One and Only Ivan and to my surprise, she simply watched it. NO barking! 

She loves the creek. She explores but doesn't disappear on me. She did take off after three coyotes when I got her. I dashed into the creek right after her and she managed to get back across the creek without me seeing her. I found myself knee-deep in the river, slipping on mossy rocks with her looking at me like I'm nuts! She's has not run off since. 

This is her "I'm so patient waiting furEVER for momma to get ready" pose. 

Like all my dogs, she LOVES coffee!  She's not always patient when waiting for the dregs of my cup. 

When we are hiking in the wilds, she is most often found walking right next to me. Not in front; never behind. It's annoying when the trail is narrow. But I do love that she stays so close. As with Macy Blue, "Find a good mom!" will bring her right to me! 

She was a little terrified of the river until her pals showed her what to do. Now, she just adores the water. I really love how this just runs through the generations of our hiking pack. I still remember when we met baby Aria, the rott. Mabel Lou just looked after her and showed her how to dip in the water. Aria taught Macy and Maizy. And Maizy was trying to teach Aria's little sister Roux the other day! 

She's SUPER  fast. During the Pandemic, we do a long walk each morning. Some days we go to a little park near the house and I let her off leash on the tiny patch of green grass. She runs zoomies while I stretch. 

Maizy True loves the ocean. This was her second visit. She was a little put off by the creek that "moves at you!" But she adored it before the trip was over. 

 

She has lots of her friends but this girl is her absolute bestie. Bella is half Chihuahua and half German shepherd! They will play NON-stop if we don't give them a time out! Maizy actually sprained her tail from wagging it too much when Bella came over! Poor Bella has gone home limping from their antics!  They make each other SO happy, so we try to get them together a few times a week. 

She is so joyful, I feel so very blessed to have her! 

Maizy True Stats: 

DoB: 12/26/2018

Gotcha Day: 3/08/2019

DNA: 64% Golden Retriever / 12% Husky / 12% Poodle / 12% Berger Blanc Suisse

Best trick: holding her paws "just so" to put on her sports bra

Best unwanted trick: Closing the middle console in the jeep so she can work her way into the front seat.

Edibles: Anything mom is eating... except fruit and medicine "treats"

Toys: Loves anything she can tear up! 

Hello Old Friend

 Well, I guess the nothing of a Pandemic has made me miss writing!  Gosh so much has changed since I last posted...and so much is the same. 

I'm a dang school teacher, fully credentialed as of this year! Something I never wanted to be but... hey, there's health insurance and a pension. I love the kids but I've been so disillusioned about how little of teaching is about the kids! It's a business that rarely accounts of the kids involved. 

I had been teaching a behavior based program... which I loved but...I had a principal that was a "box-checker." Behavior programs do not check boxes... we are soooo outside the box! I spent an entire year teaching with my back to a student. We had a whole checklist of what that student had to do to earn my attention. If attention was paid for the wrong things...we were off and running toward a very bad day! I loved working that program...save for the crazy boss. I had to leave the district to get away from her. 

Loved the next job (High school algebra! Ha! I haven't used algebra in 37 years and why the state of California makes us torture special needs kids with it...UGH!) ...until Covid sent all teacher specialists back to the classroom, bumping newbies like me. 

So, I'm jobless and awaiting a re-entry interview at my old district. I'm honestly so exhausted from the last four years, I really don't mind the lack of work. 

My goodness... I started working on a credential in July 2016 not understanding that I would be a classroom teacher by late August! (Thought I could do that and just sub.) 10 days into my new job, Mom's house flooded with 38" of water. Spent the year flying back and forth dealing with FEMA and contractors all while trying to get Mom to leave the house so the work could be done. (She won that argument!)  So much craziness at work...constant meetings about my students, data tracking and reports to be written. I took NO time off, working every holiday. Worked all summer on salary points. 

Mom in the boat when the Cajun Navy finally got her to leave her flooded house after 3 days! 

Mom's house after we tore out the walls and tossed the furniture.

Fall of 2017 brought crazy fires. One side of the mountains would catch on fire and I would pack a car with clothes, dog food, hard drives and vital papers and drop it off on the opposite mountain. Weeks later, the other mountain was on fire! Lather, rinse repeat. The morning the Creek Fire took off, even though it was close to me, the smoke was at my school. Of course, my school was the only one that didn't close! By midday, I was getting texts that I need to get home and get Macy Blue. It was a harrowing drive home with fires breaking out and taking multiple back roads to get into our valley. The next morning, my school still open, I took surface streets as the freeway was jammed. I noticed police blocking the way back toward home. I stopped and asked what was up... I could leave but I could not come home! NO WAY was I leaving Macy Blue in that fire ridden valley when I couldn't get home to her! 

Creek Fire as seen from space. 

Our pal, Osa, days before Creek Fire

(Front to back) Osa, Riley, Aria, Macy Blue - same spot as above - after Creek Fire

And  after the fires, you know it, came the flood! I got home on January 9th to 10" of mud surrounding my house and in my pool! 

It took months of shoveling to get all the mud out! 

Backyard and pool

Spring was spent trying to dig out and repair the pool. It was ready for summer, thank goodness. Especially during COVID, the pool has been my sanity. I swim about 90 -120 minutes a day! 

All better! 

June  brought coyote drama. Macy Blue and I were hiking the dark side. We had just emerged from the swimming spot when I heard Macy growl...totally out of the norm. Ten feet away, she was on her hind legs in an embrace with a small coyote. He must have noticed her limp and took her for an easy target. She was NOT! Plus, her momma is part rottweiler... I screamed so loud, I terrified them both! The coyote took off and Macy ran to me. I thought she was fine but took her in anyway... it was a severe bite! My poor baby! 

Fall was more craziness, dealing with Mom's dementia. January, I was part of the one of the largest teacher strikes in history. It poured rain the whole time we were on strike. In the end, I feel special education lost out...our numbers actually INCREASED. 

And then came February. Macy Blue had been on a weird eating streak for months. I kept wondering if she had pica! She ate most of a letter. She ate beads... glass ones. She passed those. But in early February, she ate most of two different dish towels.  And here's where I was stupid: When I lived in my previous house, I was friends with a hair dresser and her rottweiler. He loved to get his lips on any towel she had used to do hair! Seriously, this dog would eat and entire towel. When he would pass it, she would don gloves and pull! DON'T DO THIS! Rags can get impacted. 

Macy had a helluva week...overnight at the hospital, radio active beads confirmed nothing was moving. Day at her vets. I would have to pick her up when the overnight place closed at 7 am, drive her home so I could get to work by 7:40. I would leave her in my dog car and the bestie would drive  her to the vet at 8:15. Back and forth for days...finally, my vet operated, found the rags and I was SO hopeful (and broke! $4K+). I took her for what I hoped would be her last overnight, begging her to live. Just after midnight on Valentine's Day, she crashed. I knew she could take no more. Her limp exhausted her and her heart murmur...it was too much! I told them to leave her in peace. 

The last photo of Macy Blue.

And that brings me to the ray of sunshine at the top of this blog. Maizy... The first time I kept the M name a dog arrived here with. It just fit her and it was so weird. I really wanted to name Macy Maizy...but there were a number of bloggers with that name. So Macy it was... and Blue because she was so sad. Maizy's family wanted to name her Macy because the mom loved to shop there but she made them change it.  And I kept thinking of the dream I had of Mabel...where she left me a pot of gold. 

Maizy was rehomed. She was such a high energy pup, I wondered what the hell I was going to do with her. But big hikes have tamed her! She often hikes right by my side. She is the happiest, smartest little thing ever! She reminds me of Mabel... capable of understanding conversations and reasoning... but without the arguments and disagreements! I'm over the moon with her!  Middle name: True (short for Truelove - but that would embarrass her so please don't mention it!)

Day nine - Maizy True giving me a run for my money!

My job at the high school was really demanding... I had a huge case load (26!) and saw 80 students throughout the day. But Maizy was kinda thrilled with lockdown. Long walks twice a day and Mom always at home. 

Not sure what's next... but I have a great pup by my side!