What Code Do You Live By?

To anyone who has been around me and felt that I've been "off," my sincere apologies.

I have been in a weird place the last couple weeks.  I have over-analyzed others and second-guessed myself.  I have been lonely in a crowd and it showed.  I have been lazy with sadness and it hurts my productivity.  I have been frustrated with negative results of positive effort.  I have been disconnected from me.  And why?  Hell if I know.  But hey, that's the good thing about doing a post.  It can sometimes be cathartic.  So bear with me and maybe it'll be helpful for you too someday.

I've taken my jumbled thoughts and feelings and got back to journaling the past few days.  I used to write about everything everyday.  Then life blew up and I got away from it.  Focused on business and growing people around me in their businesses.  One thing I've come to realize.  There's a reason God took a day off.  Not because HE needed it - He IS God.  But because WE need it.  He led by example.  One that I felt I just didn't need.  And now it's catching up with me in a big way.  I've become my own worst nightmare - bitchy and unproductive.

Now, before any of you try to shower me with "you're Wonder Woman, you got this" kind of stuff, know that I have been telling myself that for days now.  But I'm here to tell ya', even Wonder Woman got her ass kicked every once in awhile.  She had to re-group on Paradise Island to heal, gather an army of Amazon warriors, and head back into battle another day.  THAT's where I am now.  Healing.  As best I know how. One step at a time.

The first step for me was to get to the root of my issue.  I know what that is, to prove I'm even worthy to exist.  That's why getting ignored is so hurtful and not accomplishing things is unacceptable.  Being responsible for myself is a big deal too, not to be reliant on others as a charity case.  The next was to do some simple self-assessing.  Using the same tools I use with my clients: personality, core values, life wheel, and others, I wrote it all out and compared to the same assessments I did at the first of the year.  Not much had changed.  Good in the sense I was still confident in who I was and what I was about, but not good in the sense of not seeing positive forward-moving results for myself in my life wheel vision.  I'm bummed.  And I've been second-guessing myself all week.  But here's another thing I realized.  I've not been living by the code.

This was from Jesus (Luke 10:27).  It's also in the Old Testament in Deuteronomy.  Notice - love GOD with everything, love your neighbor AS YOURSELF.  That "as yourself" part is harder than it sounds for someone like me.  I'm confident in who I am, what I can do, and that I can get shit done --- for everyone else.  I do love God.  I do love people.  But I don't really love myself.  That has to change.  If I change that, my life wheel vision will come true.  Love is action, it's a code to live by.  

Then I got to thinking about another other codes that is just extensions of this:

The Cowboy Code

THEN...I thought of one of my favorites on my virtual "cabinet of advisers."  Gibbs.  Not necessarily an extension of Luke 10:27, but some pretty darn good things to think about.

And now I'm coming to a realization that I will always have a fight on my hands BECAUSE I have a code to live by.  There will always be those who want to stand in the way of peace.  Peace in the world around me, peace in others' minds and hearts, and peace in my own self.  I will fight on. I know who I am, what I stand for, and there are others counting on me to live that out. That's what I'm going to believe anyway, so just go with me on it...lol. 

If you've gotten this far in my ramblings, thank you.  Thank you for sharing your time with me :-).  NOW it's ok to tell me "You're Wonder Woman, you got this!"

Life is a *itch

As you can see, I've changed the look of the blog again. Just slightly though. And I've changed the title. I actually got inspired by Mama Kats' Wednesday writers challenge question: Tell us about your blogline...how long have you been blogging, when did you start, what were/are your goals for your blog, etc.


I've been blogging for a couple of years now. The look has changed multiple times and so has my purpose for it. My initial blogline was "Life is a Daring Adventure, or Nothing..." based on the quote by Helen Keller. This amazing lady who was both blind and deaf has many insightful writings that give inspiration to many. I wanted to be able to show how life really can be a daring adventure. However, through my 2-year blogging journey, I have found there is so much more. So I've changed my blog title to "Life Is..."


Because life really is so many things, I thought about it while doing dishes at work (that's how glamorous my job is :-) ). The first thing that comes to mind is the saying I grew up with is "Life is a *itch, then you die." And you all know what that word is, don't even try to fool me! So I thought about it - what is a *itch?


The Webster's description is: 1: the female of the dog or some other carnivorous mammals, 2 a: a lewd or immoral woman b: a malicious, spiteful, or overbearing woman —sometimes used as a generalized term of abuse, 3: something that is extremely difficult, objectionable, or unpleasant, 4: complaint.


Then I thought about the Proverbs 31 woman. There's no mention of her being malicious, spiteful, or overbearing or difficult or unpleasant at all. In verse 25 it says: Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future. I want to smile at my future! Does she smile because she has not one hint of *itchness in her? Is my own *itchy-ness holding me back from being worth more than jewels to someone?


I think about that Proverbs 31 woman quite a bit. She's got a lofty standard for us to live up to as women. She's rumored to be Solomon's mother - you remember her? Bathsheba....David & Bathsheba! If it really was her...oh, the grace that abounds! God is amazing to have such an impact in a woman's (or man's) life and perspective. This Proverb was written ABOUT her ... I wonder what she actually thought of herself? Regardless, she is an example for all women to look to and ponder.

Quick Promptings

I'm starting to really love getting on others' blog and joining on the writing challenges. Keeps me in practice! This week's "Mama's Losin' It" prompts are too good to pass up:

1) Describe something someone has done to make you feel special. This one is easy for me, and each time he does it I still say "awhhhhh." Anytime Bill is at my house during the day and knows that I won't be home till dark - he leaves the porch light on for me. Not to mention all the work around the house. It looks great!

2) Name your current addition...we can get through this together. Oh man, I hate to admit it. FarmTown & Facebook. It's crazy! They even just upgraded it to add more stuff - I can even add a river on my farm with a water mill!

3) What have you been busy doing that's keeping you from updating your blog? See #2, plus a 7 year-old that's too much fun to be around on weekends.

4) Write a letter. Dear God, .... have to think about where to start this one.

5) Where would you like to be? Easy again. Heaven. But since I'm not there yet, I'll take Disney...with Bill & Tom. Second to that, anywhere else but work. :-)