One by one an A to Z trip through my dvd collection

17 Again (2009)

Director: Burr Steers
Writer: Jason Filardi
Stars: Zac Efron, Matthew Perry, Michelle Trachtenberg and Leslie Mann

Well it's been awhile since the last one but what the hell.

First things first. I got this DVD for two (Three if you think about it.) reasons. It was cheap and Michelle Trachtenberg. Like a moth to a flame or a fool and his money...

The film opens in 1989, with young Mike O'Donnell (The always effeminate Zac Efron) getting ready for the big game. He's the star player on the high school basketball team and is hoping to impress some big shot talent scout.  Isn't that how it always goes in this type of movie? Anyway, Cut to the big game and all is looking swell, until his girlfriend shows up. She whispers something in his ear and he goes back to the game. She leaves and he decides to ditch the game and follow her. Turns out she pregnant. We're then meet grown up Mike (Matthew Perry), he's split from his wife, estranged from his kids, living with his nerdy best friend Ned (Thomas Lennon) and fired from his job. So, everything great right? Mike does what any middle-aged guy about to get divorced does, goes to his old high school to pick up teenage girls! Okay, so that's not why he's there. No, he's there because it was the only place where he was special. I guess, I'm not really sure, but I like my hitting on teenage girl's theory more. Anyway while he's looking at his high school photo, an old janitor asks him if he wishes he could be 17 again, hey it's the title of the movie! Anyway, he says yes. While driving he sees the same janitor on a bridge, the janitor jumps  and Mike jumps in after him. Before you can say Kazaam! Mike wakes up the next day as Zac Efron. What follows is just what you'd expect. A big game, a new understanding of his family, his life and the usual antics one finds in a film like this.

I know, this may sound like I've done some crack, but...I enjoyed this movie. It's no better or worse then similar themed films from the '80's. Going into it with next to zero expectations of being entertained, I was. It wasn't laugh out loud funny nor original, but it held my interest throughout it's running time. Not anything I'd rush to watch again anytime soon, but it entertained me for an afternoon.

Besides...

I mean really. Too bad she didn't dress like that in the film.

One by one an A to Z trip through my dvd collection

The 14 Amazons (1972)

Lo Lieh was and always will be a badass. The ridiculousness hats he's forced to wear in The 14 Amazons may have you doubting that. Just don't say anything to him about it. I think he could still kick ass from beyond the grave.

A majority of the men in Yang family get wiped out in an ambush by Western Xia. Among those killed is General Yang Tsung Pao. This leaves his only son, Yang Wen as the only male heir left to the Yang family. This also leaves a lot of the ladies in the Yang family without a husband. The grand matriarch of the family along with Tsung Pao’s widow and the surviving family members swear revenge. Standing in their way is a traitorous official Wang Ching who wants to broker a peace treaty, as well as the army of Western Xia led by King and his sons, one of which is Lo Lieh (Playing a great sleazy villain) and his bad hat collection.

The 14 Amazons is epic in the best sense of the word. Huge battles, truly vile bad guys, noble sacrifices and some truly righteous heroes. While the action may not be up there with the likes of '70's Shaw greats Chang Cheh and Lau Kar Leung, it is defiantly energetic enough to keep your attention. Besides the action stuff there's one other bit that really stands out stunt wise. There's a scene where our heroes have to cross chasm and the bridge gets destroyed. So, what are they to do? Why form a human bridge of course! That scene alone is worth seeing the film for and one of the reasons I love Hong Kong cinema. "What's the absolute craziest thing we can do in this scene?" "Why not form a human bridge!" You don't see stuff like that anywhere else.

If you liked 300 but wondered if there were any women that could kick their asses back to Sparta, well here you go! Or if you want to see a really good "women on a mission" film. Or if you just dig epic Hong Kong cinema. Watch The 14 Amazons ! I enjoyed the heck out of it myself.

Next time on Dragon Ball Z...

One by one an A to Z trip through my dvd collection

13 Ghosts (1960)

Over at the old Zorba place 

In my early teens I discovered Fangoria magazine and learned a whole hell of a lot about horror. Back then there wasn't some crazy "Internet" that John Q. Public could "log on" to and learn every little facet of something. Nope, no sir. Reading Fangoria I learned who John Carpenter, Wes Craven and Dario Argento where. Sure I'd seen some of their films but I didn't know anything about how they where made and by whom. Naturally, like many a horror geek, this made me dream of becoming a horror director myself. But I didn't want to emulate one of those greats, no. I wanted to be like someone else I'd read about. William Castle. At that time I'd only seen House on Haunted Hill. But reading about Castle's various gimmicks he used to promote his films and those awesome trailers he did where he would warn the audience about the horror of Mr. Sardonicus or The Tingler, well that's who I wanted to be. I could just imagine myself warning the audience about my latest horror offering! It would have been great! Or i would have turned out to be the next Ed Wood. Who's to say. Regardless my love of William Castle and his films remains to this day. Fangoria on the other hand...well there's always memories.

Commence pants crapping

All this rambling brings me to William Castle's 13 Ghosts. Eccentric geezer Dr. Plato Zorba has croaked and left his spooky mansion to his broke nephew Cyrus Zorba and his family. The family has also inherited the 12 ghosts old Doc Zorba has collected. not really having any money the family decide to stay in the house because ghosts or not, free is fucking free. There's also a housekeeper who may or may not be a witch. The young son Buck starts nosing around and discovers that Doc Zorba might have a hidden fortune somewhere in the house. But it seems someone else is after that money as well. And if that wasn't a big enough pain in the ass, the ghosts warn that one of them will soon die and join them as number 13.

"Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies."

The cast deliver solid performances. Even the kid playing the young son Buck. Normally kids in horror films like this can induce vomiting. But Buck never gets to be too cute or too annoying. The two standout performances here though where Margaret Hamilton (The Wicked Witch herself) as the housekeeper. She's marvelous in the role that's an inside gag about her Wizard of Oz character. Plus she delivers the films best lines. The other is Martin Milner of the classic shows Route 66 and Adam-12. He plays Ben the lawyer handling the Zorba estate. He's quite charming and at the same time you just don't trust him.

mo money mo problems

Well what can I say about 13 Ghosts other then that it's old fashioned haunted house fun. Perfect for late night viewing. Now granted the effects are dated and the characters seem hokey, but therein lies it's charm. If your in the mood for a horror film that doesn't hit you over the head with tons of gore or people needlessly getting tortured and relive those days ehen Famous Monsters ruled then 13 Ghosts will hit the spot.

Next time on Frisky Dingo...

One by one an A to Z trip through my dvd collection

13: Game of Death (2006)

I'd seen 13 a couple of years ago and it hadn't really left much of an impression on me. Except for one scene involving somebody eating something best not eaten I didn't really recall much else about the film. Well sitting down to watch it for my voyage through my DVD collection I was hoping that maybe it would play differently for me this time around. My taste in film had certainly evolved. But despite it being a well made film with a good hook. I was just left with the same meh feeling. I'm not sure if that has to do with me of if the film is lacking in something.

The story concerns a very put-upon salesman named Pusit has lost just about everything he has, his job, his girlfriend, his home, He doesn't have much left. He's at his lowest, his breaking point when he receives a mysterious phone call. The caller tells him he's won the right to compete on a very special game show. All he has to do is to complete 13 tasks presented by the show via his cell phone, but he has to complete all 13 with money going into his account after each task is completed. If he fails or refuses to compete a task he'll lose all the money he's earned thus far and be booted from the game. The challenges go from mild to disgusting to violent fairly quickly. There's also a female co-worker who's got a thing for him but he's too much of a dummy to notice it thing going on. As she sees at first him acting strange and then starts to follow him around and generally get herself into trouble. Eventually she discovers it's all part of a sick game and tries to stop it before things go to far. How do you think that's going to work out?

Well some people die, we find out about who's behind the game and we're given a bit of an ambiguous ending. As I said earlier it's all done well but just never takes off for me. 13 whilst it has a fairly cool setup I just never cared for the main character. And I think that's one of the major things that kept me from getting into the story. Pusit goes from loser to psycho with not so much as a hiccup. As the game gets more and more violent he doesn't seem to mind very much. He only shows only the slightest remorse for the crap he has to do. We're given a bit of a back story that may help to explain why he goes postal so easy. Even with all that and the other crap that happens to him I never felt like there was a reason to care about what would happen to him in the end. Whether this was do with the actor or the script or combination of the two perhaps I'm not sure. 13 is based on a Thai comic book. I've never read it so perhaps there's more to the story that was left out of the film adaption. In the end 13: Game of Death is a good time killer for a snowy afternoon that won't linger long in your mind soon after viewing. Except maybe for one scene.

Next time...

One by one an A to Z trip through my dvd collection

11:14 (2003)

I've been putting off writing this since December. Simply for the fact that 11:14 deals with something that hit a little too close to home after seeing it. Actually the day after seeing it. The randomness of life can be both whimsical and tragic. Sometimes in close secession.

11:14 deals with the multiple events and viewpoints of one summer evening that lead up to what happened on a rural roadside near the small town of Middleton at 11:14. Unlike other films like this, 11:14 doesn't deal with one event told from different viewpoints but a bunch of different events that are reveled to be all intertwined. By the end of the film we learn the significance of a phone call at the beginning and who was on the other side of that call and why. Why there's a bowling ball in the graveyard. And why there's a severed penis on the road. The characters are all very flawed in one way or another. There's no happy ending for any of the characters here. Whether they deserve one or not. We're not giving a larger picture of these people's fates (Except for two.) after the events of the movie. Save that every one of the character's lives are changed for the worst and for a couple their lives are ended.

Across the board the performances in 11:14 are topnotch. From young stars like Colin Hanks, Shawn Hatosy and the always hot Rachael Leigh Cook. To vets like the late, great Patrick Swayze and Hilary Swank. There's also turns by the not yet famous Ben Foster and Jason Segel in a small role.

First-time director Greg Marcks's has fashioned a tightly constructed dark comedy. Small details are given a larger meaning by the film's end. Many of the characters (One in particular.) are seen in a different light as we learn more about them, when the film changes perspectives. Much like The Coens' Blood Simple (According to Marcks a major influence.) when something bad happens in 11:14 things get messy as characters try (Badly) to fix things. Many times this is were the black comedy comes into play. On the commentary track Marcks states that his intention was to show how random and meaningless life can be and to show us how it effects a handful of characters in one night. But this aim is also what hurts the film in that we don't really get to care or connect with these characters or learn much about what drives them. Marcks displays a clear talent and passion as a filmmaker. And 11:14 moves at a brisk pace, is tightly constructed and there's a couple of scenes that you'll definitely remember. For a low budget film from a first-time director it's a great start. I'm curious to see were Mr. Marcks career goes from here.

Up next...

One by one an A to Z trip through my dvd collection

10,000 BC (2008)

Woolly Mammoths, Saber-tooth Tigers and Camilla Belle, oh my! Now I love all three of these separately, so all of them together in one film should add up for a great flick right? Well no sir, they do not.

The plot concerns a young mammoth hunter named D'Leh's (Steven Strait) quest to help his tribe and more importantly get his squeeze Evolet (Camilla Belle) back from some nasty Atlantean slavers. Said Atlanteans are not as cool as they should be. They’re just a bunch of Xena rejects led by some pasty old dude in a pyramid. The main two slavers look like they're Michael Berryman and Sid Haig's stand-ins. The Michael Berryman looking one gets the hots Evolet which makes the Sid Haig looking dude all sorts of pissed. Oh yeah, There's a bunch of mammoths and a saber tooth tiger that shows up too. But that's about it. There's somewhat of a set up at the beginning about D'Leh and Evolet as kids. Also we're told how the village needs to hunt mammoths for food or they'll starve. Then the film jumps ahead and our two main characters are "grown up." What is that in ancient times anyway? Fifteen? What were the typical lifespans back then? Anyway, they make with the lovey dovey crap and the slavers attack and make off with Evolet and a bunch of village red shirts. Then the film becomes one long quest to go from one filler segment to the next. There's also some talk about D'Leh's dad and some prophecy of a "chosen one" who'll bring balance to the force or something. Long story short, D'Leh unites a bunch of tribes together, they kick slaver ass and one of the biggest WTF just happened cheats occurs.

Now I didn't hate this movie. It tries it's hardest to please. Had it been made back in the early '80's or late '70's would most likely had been a stop motion blast I would have dug. Sadly the computer generated special effects are just lifeless. Will the kids now have a fondness for CG monsters when they grow up the way I have for stop motion and guys in monster suits? Speaking of things lifeless. There's the performances. All of them are flat. Belle been good in other films but here she seems to be on autopilot. Cliff Curtis who plays the mentor role to the films hero is is equally as flat. He was great in Sunshine and Blow. Perhaps none of the actors were having "fun" and it was just a job for them making this film.

Fun is something the film was truly lacking. Sure there's action. But it's not fun, it's just there. Truthfully I had to split the film into two separate viewings. It was so boring for what should have been a fast paced summer popcorn flick. Like I stated earlier I didn't hate the film. Rarely do I come across a film that I can say I hated it. at least hating a film makes you feel something. No. 10,000 BC does something much, much worse, I don't feel anything in regards to the film. I was as emotionless as Spock's dad. Okay, I did feel something, I was glad it was over. And had a hearty chuckle over the fact that three was 10 minutes left and they were all credits. Well that's something.


Up next...

One by one an A to Z trip through my dvd collection

100 Rifles (1969)

Lyledecker (Jim Brown) a lawman from Phoenix looking for Joe Herrera (Burt Reynolds) in Mexico to take him back to for bank robbery. While hunting for Joe, Lyledecker get caught in the middle of a bloody war between General Versugo (Fernando Lamas) and the Yaqui Indians. The Indians are being led by Sarita (Raquel Welch). Joe it turns out stole the money so the Yaqui Indians could buy the 100 rifles of the title and have a fighting chance against Versugo's forces. Helping the General are Steven Grimes (Dan O'Herlihy) who runs the railroad Versugo is using to transport his troops. And Lt. Von Klemme (Eric Braeden) a German military adviser. Though he doesn't care anything about their revolution, Lyledecker ends up helping Joe and Sarita. The film climaxes with a train crash and an all-out assault on The General's forces.

A fairly typical American Spaghetti Western knock-off. It's made memorable by a very sexy Raquel Welch. Plus there's Burt Reynolds being Burt Reynolds. Jim Brown as the lawman after Burt does a good job of holding his own in his scenes with Reynolds and Welch. The incredible Soledad Miranda shows up briefly and wearing next to nothing as Burt's bedmate. Dan O'Herlihy's character is mainly there for comic relief and doesn't get much to do, but he's enjoyable in the part.

The action set pieces are good but nothing spectacular. But something that is spectacular is Raquel Welch's train stopping water-tower shower scene. The score by Jerry Goldsmith is solid and at times reminded me of his Planet of the Apes score.

100 Rifles is a fun but inconsequential time killer.

Next up is...

One by one an A to Z trip through my dvd collection

So many DVDs. Sometimes I want to watch something but just can't decide what. So with some inspiration from Dan I have a solution to that. Starting with numerically titled films and then going alphabetically I'll pick a film and watch it. With that I present the first film.

10 (1979)

This was my first time actually seeing the whole film. I recall little bits of it from when my parents watched it on cable back in the early '80's. It was one of those films that I sort of knew about but really wasn't allowed to see it. What with all the nudity and sex going on in the film. It was also one of those movies that didn't play on cable TV till it was my bedtime. Now years later I came across the DVD used. I thought why not give it a shot. I always liked Dudley Moore after seeing the Arthur films. Plus it's got Flash Gorden himself Sam Jones and Don Calfa from Return of The Living Dead in it.

I found 10 for the most part to be a lot of fun. Moore carries the film as George Webber. George's decent into mid-life crisis or as the film calls it "male menopause" is fun. Moore gets to engage in some amusing slapstick bits. He also brings a bit of the drunken Arthur to the role of George Webber. There's quite a few scenes of a sloshed George in the film. Getting older it's easy to root for him. Moore, after all, is a lovable character and we want to see his character find what he's looking for.

The supporting cast does a fine job. Bo Derek, while not my cup of tea does a good job here as an 11 out of 10 and the object of Moore's lust. Julie Andrews as Moore's girlfriend is good, but her character is written as too much of a shrew. Dee Wallace has a small but memorable role as a woman unlucky in the bedroom. Brian Dennehy also turns in a good performance as a wise (Aren't they all) bartender.

The movie is a bit dated now but there's enough knowing charm to make one overlook the films flaws.

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