A Swingin' Review

Here's Daniel XIII from Famous Monsters with groovy new review!

THE SWINGING CHEERLEADERS
• RELEASE DATE: Available Now on Blu-ray/DVD Combo
• WRITTEN BY: Jack Hill, David Kidd
• DIRECTED BY: Jack Hill
• STARRING: Jo Johnston, Cheryl Smith, Colleen Camp

 Sometimes I sit back and think to myself; “Daniel XIII, you just don’t get to review enough flicks where a spunky lady goes undercover as a cheerleader to expose corruption on campus”. O.k.; ya saw right through that…I have never thought about that; not even as I thought it up and wrote it down…which is strange I admit. Anyway; let’s take a look at a film that deals with that very subject; THE SWINGING CHEERLEADERS!
 Since I’m assuming that you don’t start reading a review by skipping the first paragraph; you already know the basic gist of the story of this here flick; but let me expand on that a bit. When intrepid college reporter Kate goes undercover as a cheerleader to expose the denigration of women in ‘contemporary’ society she ends up with an even bigger scoop; namely a betting scheme perpetrated by the team’s coach and his academic chums.
 Along the way we are treated to boobs and babes (and babe’s boobs) as you would expect, but along with the (puritanical by the standards of today) nudity, director Jack Hill (SPIDER BABY, SWITCHBLADE SISTERS) plays with preconceived notions in a fascinating way. Take for instance the usual trope of the one-note lunk-head jock and the campus radical. In THE SWINGING CHEERLEADERS the athletic types are presented as fully nuanced characters; kind and chivalrous (some burdened with troubled pasts), while the normally peace-nik, tree huggin’ radical is a truly despicable rapist. The plot itself changes on a dime as well; running the gamut from feminist social commentary laced drama to outright slap-stick comedy. All of which keeps the proceedings fresh in what could easily be just another drive-in skin flick in less sure hands.
 While the main feature is entertaining enough; the extra features present on this release aren’t too shabby either! Along with a new 2K restoration of the film, you also get a brief interview with director Jack Hill (along with a newly recorded, informative and lively commentary track by the same), archive interviews with cinematographer Alfred Taylor and Johnny Legend (also featuring Hill), an archival Q&A session (with Hill and stars Colleen Camp and Rosanne Katon, and a few TV spots.
 If you are a fan of Jack Hill’s other films, then I can guarantee you will enjoy this one as it contains many of his signature themes (strong female leads, deft blending of multiple genres to tell an entertaining , socially conscious story). On the opposite end of the spectrum; if you are a neophyte to the man’s work, this is a good place to start as at its core, the flick is pure genre exploitation (with kernels of social commentary for those willing to look beyond the titillation). In either regard; I recommend this flick to all lovers of drive-in cinema! 

I Can't Wait to Hear You Scream!

Check out my super-duper guest review of Scream The TV Series with good old fiend Daniel XIII over at Famous Monsters. 

Not A Film About Stone Cold Steve Austin

Another review from that fiend Daniel XIII. Check him out over at good old Famous Monsters. 


WHAT?
• RELEASE DATE: Available April 26th on DVD
• WRITTEN BY: Gérard Brach, Roman Polanski
• DIRECTED BY: Roman Polanski
• STARRING: Marcello Mastroianni, Sydne Rome, Hugh Griffith

 Reviewing a film by a reviled sexual deviant is never going to be an easy thing; just separating the art from the artist can be tricky enough, but when said film revolves around the sexual misadventures of a young woman abroad…well, let’s just say there’s going to be an element of “squick” involved. So with that lil’ disclaimer, let’s dive into the new Blu-ray release of Roman Polanski’s WHAT?
WHAT?, besides having a truly ludicrous title, is a film about an American woman named Nancy (Rome) who gets stranded at a bizarre Mediterranean villa after an attempted gang-rape. Upon arrival, she is immediately dry humped by a massive dog. How much longer does this film have to go? Nearly two more hours? Fuck me.

 Anyway, as the nonsense train keeps a rollin’ down the tracks you get a rando collection of horny characters that make absolutely no sense, random piano duets, a buried treasure containing some sort of Napoleon costume, massive bush that resembles a face-planting Crite…and on and on it goes,
Is WHAT? A bad film? No; it’s crazy, disjointed, filled with Alice in Wonderland allegories… but it’s entertaining enough if you love tits and absurdity in equal measure. And, since it’s filmed by a competent director there are some gorgeous shots not to mention the cast seem to be enjoying themselves.

 As for the actual release itself, Severin provides a pretty damn sharp looking transfer for the feature that makes those island locales really pop. Also included in the package are interviews with star Sydne Rome, Composer Claudio Gizzi, and Cinematographer Marcello Gatti. The theatrical trailer and a presentation of the film with its Italian soundtrack round out the package.
So there you go; while this film wasn’t one hundred percent my bag baby, and while I find Polanski a turd of a human being (a talented turd, but a turd all the same), I still found this release had plenty to offer for fans of off-kilter, surrealist sin-ema!

-Daniel XIII

Is It Sexy?

Another review from our good fiend Daniel XIII!

THAT’S SEXPLOITATION!
• RELEASE DATE: Available April 26th on Blu-ray
• WRITTEN BY: Frank Henenlotter
• DIRECTED BY: Frank Henenlotter
• STARRING: Albert Cadabra, Gal Friday, David F. Friedman

Holy cats do freaks today ever get a walk down easy street. To what am I referring I hear you query? Why the ease in which one can obtain ye olde wankin’ material; a.k.a. the porn. Ya see, in the far gone days of my misspent youth, we took our titillation where we could get it I tells ya. A discarded Playboy found along the side of road here, a scrambled adult channel there; hell e’en the ladies nightgown section of the Sears Wishbook was fair game. And now? Well one button click brings up more sexy time than you could enjoy in a lifetime (though you’ll be damned if you won’t try and squeeze it all in I’m sure).

 Anyway, our parents and grandparents fought the same noble fight we did in regards to getting’ our rocks off; a point vividly illustrated in the flick we are checkin’ out today; Frank Henenlotter’s ode to T and A of years gone by THAT’S SEXPLOITATION!

 Introduced by good ol’ F.H. himself (a genial guide to be sure); THAT’S SEXPLOITATION! soon turns the focus upon David F. Friedman (a producer responsible for an absolute butt load of vintage smut). While seemingly frail, Friedman never the less takes great delight in guiding us from the days of the roaring 20’s pre-Hays code frolic all the way up to the 1960’s anything goes boobs and drug fueled (although plenty of chemical reasons are given for the libidinous behavior in the flicks featured from other decades as well) freak-outs. Along the way we are treated to nudist colonies, educational films (oh 1950’s you even managed to suck the fun out of skin flicks with your pole up ass ways), a horny ape or two, some pigeons (???), an invisible man, a Frankenstein monster cutting a rug (damn those pigeons seem totally logical now), plastic cowboys and Indians tangled in a voluminous bush, a Batman parody (Batpussy ‘natch), and oh so, so, so, much more.

 Why did I use so many “so”s above? Well, clocking in at a wafer thin 2 hours and 16 minutes, THAT’S SEXPLOITATION! is absolutely packed to the randy rafters with a non-stop flesh parade (and to be fair a rather thorough examination of the genre as a whole). Now, for some folks that run-time is going to be a bit of a hurdle; but honestly if you pick up a title like this chances are you wanted to see roughly 4,568 titties anyway, so wish granted and all that.

 If you still aren’t satisfied after the main feature, why not try your hand (hahaha…yeah baby!) at lasting through 3 and a half hours of vintage blue movies that are included in this release as well (remember how in every review of a Severin release I talk about how much they love their target audience? Well, this proves my point once again!)? Also included is a lively commentary by Henenlotter and Something Weird’s Lisa Petrucci on the feature.

So there ya have it; if you love vintage smut this is a must have; it’s most likely the most complete documentary that will ever be produced on the subject; plus with that bevy of bonus boobs ya just can’t go wrong (blind maybe, but never wrong)!

-Daniel XIII

Sex Down Under

Here's a review by an old friend of The Mission.

FELICITY

• RELEASE DATE: Available March 29th on Blu-ray
• WRITTEN BY: Diane Lamond, John D. Lamond
• DIRECTED BY: John D. Lamond
• STARRING: Glory Annen, Chris Milne, Joni Flynn

 Today we turn our gaze upon a sheltered young woman finding her way far away from home in the big city as she attends a prestigious university and discovers all the laughs and tears that life has to offer. What’s that? I’m not reviewing beloved J. J. Abrams series FELICITY? This is an Australian erotic flick that would be right at home playing on 42nd street in the grindhouse era? Thank Dagon. I hated that dog’s arse of a series, but I love nakey flesh which apparently this flick has in spades, so let’s hop into the sack with FELICITY!

 Felicity (Annen) spends her days as a student in a draconian monastery; a dire existence made a bit better by near constant soapy hot showers, leering at her naked friends, and much Vaseline-lensed strippery. One fine day a letter from her sister arrives beckoning her to Hong Kong; and one ultra-horny plane ride later she arrives.   Before long she is on a non-stop erotic tour of the exotic locale courtesy of her guide Me-Ling (Flynn), a woman who is about as Chinese a plate of Bratwurst. Constant nudity ensues.

 More a series of sexy vignettes than an actual narrative, FELICITY is never the less an engaging flick. It’s gorgeously shot, and well-acted to boot, but its main drawback, for me at least, is that it’s basically a soft-core porn flick, and I’ve never understood the point of those. I mean, if you are in the market for that kind of “entertainment”, why not just go all in and travel the hardcore highway? But that’s all subjective of course.

 Now that we’ve seen what the feature has to offer let’s lay bare the extras included with this hot tamale! I have to just come right out and say it; Severin really loves their customer base like no other! Seriously, the bonus content on here goes above and beyond; you get a commentary for FELICITY, two additional full-length flesh flicks from die-rector Lamond (both with commentary tracks as well), ABC’S OF LOVE AND SEX…AUSTRALIA STYLE (a porntastic documentary that runs through the alphabet of carnal delights), and AUSTRALIA AFTER DARK (a mondo style documentary of all that was wicked and wild in Australia four decades ago).  Rounding out the package are outtakes concerning the work of Lamond from the documentary NOT QUITE HOLLYWOOD, and some trailers.

 In short, if you dig on other exploitation erotica of the time period such as Jaeckin’s EMMANUELLE or STORY OF “O”, then FELICITY (especially this edition of it) will be a worthy flick for you.

Daniel XIII

There's some kinda love And there is some kinda hate

And now a very special review by a  fiend of the blog  Daniel XIII!

SOME KIND OF HATE

• RELEASE DATE: Available September 18th on VOD, iTunes, and in Theaters

• WRITTEN BY: Brian DeLeeuw, Adam Egypt Mortimer

• DIRECTED BY: Adam Egypt Mortimer

• STARRING:  Grace Phipps, Spencer Breslin, Lexi Atkins, Ronen Rubinstein, Sierra McCormick

 All right! Someone made a film based on that kick-ass Misfits tune…I mean I don’t know how they did it, that song is about 2 minutes long, and the movie runs over 80; but hey, it’s not like Hollywood is afraid to stretch a wafer thin premise to obscene runtimes, but this may be a bit much. Oh well, I’m sure it’s slavish to the source and a real treat for ‘Fits fiends.

 SOME KIND OF HATE has nothing to do with that Misfits song. Nothing at all. Hell, they even spell the title wrong, and there isn’t even a single “Whoa-oh” in the whole damn thing. What it does have is a sad sack ultra-bullied dude named Lincoln (Rubinstein) who sticks a fork in a major douche (not to see if he’s done, mostly just to F up his day) and promptly gets his ass sent to a hippie-dippy reformatory commune where he is then bullied by e’en more douches. Before you can say Moaning Myrtle, ol’ Lincoln is getting’ a lil’ MY BODYGUARD action from the compounds very own sprit of vengeance; a revengeful ghost by the handle o’ Moira (McCormick). 

  SOME KIND OF HATE is a nice lil’ supernatural time waster; slick as snot, drippin’ with a fair amount of the red sauce, and featurin’ a ghostly girlie with a penchant for self-mutilation; it’s a fast movin’ flick that ne’er overstays its welcome. It’s a tad lightweight (e’en with the uber-topical bully plot), but I think most of you horror-hounds will enjoy it for what it is. Oh and for what it’s worth, I could go for another few go-arounds for ol’ Mutilatin’ Moira…hell I e’en came up with some titles and concepts; Moira returns, and is joined by 137 other vengeful spirits in WE ARE 138 and of course; Moira returns one final time to bring justice to two doomed lovers in LAST CARESS!