It's Just Shoes

There's no other reason for this post except these shoes. I'd always wanted some kind of open-front laced or buckled shoe like this and had considered many varieties, from expensive Fluevogs to the cheapo Pleaser Bordello shoes.

Then these American Duchess ones came along. The sizing of this brand can be off for me; they tend to run narrow, and my foot is wide. But this style compensates. Plus, the curved heel is quite walkable.

What I'm wearing: Black & white stripe knit jacket, Marshalls | Black T-shirt, Target | Black skirt, NY & Company | Hot pink tights, Hue | Black tango boots, American Duchess | Silver skull earrings, random accessory store

Always an Anglophile

Before I was ever goth, I was a HUGE fan of all things British -- British history, British literature, British TV, British science fiction, etc.

British punk, new wave, and gothic music was a natural outgrowth of that. My first favorite band was the Beatles after all.

What I'm wearing: UK flag skull sweater, Torrid | Black skirt, NY & Company | Black tights, Calvin Klein | UK flag pumps, gift from my husband | Silver skull earrings, random accessory store

CorpGoth's Basic Shopping Tips

This post is inspired by some friends discussing online how much they hate shopping because they can't find anything they like in stores right now. Which I understand to some extent, but then I also think, "but hey, there's so much *choice* out there, I bet you can find something you'd like, you just have to hunt for it!"

Shopping for clothes isn't easy, & if you've ever watched "What Not to Wear" or other makeover shows, you realize that immediately. It's not just difficult for "hard to fit" women -- let's face it, we're all hard to fit because clothing is manufactured in arbitrary sizes that vary from one brand to another, & that is simply not going to correspond to the myriad of shapes that actual human beings come in! No, no, shopping is difficult for everyone because we have a huge variety of needs, wishes, desires, budgets, time available, *and* sizes to deal with, not to mention we have to take the current trends into account since that will affect what's available in many stores or online (& may or may not affect how we wish to present ourselves to the world).

Still, with all those caveats, it's possible to find clothing pieces that will suit you at many shopping venues, in a range of prices, most of the year. You have to keep an open mind & be willing to work at it, however.

Here are some of my tips, specifically for ladies interested in gothic/alternative styles & needing office-appropriate fashions...

Start with the basics. Every woman needs items like straight skirts, simple blouses, layering pieces (like long-sleeve & short-sleeves tees & camisoles), classic trousers, a good jacket, cardigans, & maybe some jeans & leggings. These are wardrobe building blocks. A goth gal might have them primarily in black, with a few in grey, white, & jewel tones.

Look for the structured pieces like skirts, jackets, & pants at department stores & higher quality boutiques & chains. This is where you shop very mainstream -- think Talbots, Loft, NY & Company, Express, Macy's, Dillards, Nordstrom. You want simple, classic garments that will last for 5-10 years & will go with anything. You can pair a black pencil skirt or A-line skirt with a million different tops, it could go from the office to a nightclub, from lunch with your parents to cocktails with your pals, it will be a true wardrobe workhorse. Don't skimp on price or quality!

On the other hand, you can go cheaper with tops, especially layering pieces. Buy a half-dozen T-shirts & camis at Old Navy or Target -- black, white, every dark shade, & any dark stripe. You can wear these under sweaters, jackets, & dresses or wear them alone with skirts & pants. They'll go with work outfits & with weekend gear.


Get creative with the top layer.  Sweaters, blouses, & jackets are a good place to add fun to your outfit. Look for patterns, prints, & details like ruffles & pleating, even sequins or metallic threads. Go for unusual or rich fabrics such as velvet, velveteen, silk, & leather, either in whole garments or in accents. Dark, rich colors will be more common in the stores during fall & winter, & they'll be on clearance after Christmas / New Years.

Consider all styles of dresses. While skirts & pants are wardrobe workhorses, dresses can be lifesavers on busy mornings. Just throw on a dress, & you're essentially done. So it pays to find out what dress styles suit your body shape & personal preferences. Unfortunately, this means trying on a ton of different dresses!

You may think that you're not the "dress" type or that only certain dresses work for you. But maybe the real issue is that you haven't tried on enough dresses, pure & simple. A-line skirts, empire waists, sheath dresses, tunics, V necks, scoop necks, different sleeve shapes, etc., etc. -- all of these details look different on different bodies.

Don't forget to accessorize. Interesting belts, scarves, hair do-dads, jewelry, & shoes can really complete an outfit & make it personal. Plus, you can draw attention towards the best parts of you & away from whatever you might not be as interested in. For example, a belt can define an hourglass figure, a statement necklace can point towards fabulous cleavage, earrings can show off a delicate neck, scarves can elongate a short frame.

Don't forget that different types of accessories work differently -- wide vs. skinny belts, belts placed at different spots on your waist, long vs. short scarves, scarves tied in various ways, etc.

Bonus point: Accessories can be cheaper than clothing pieces! Buy wacky, fun accessories at Forever 21, Hot Topic, & Claire's, or find unique stuff on Etsy or ArtFire, or make your own from craft-store parts. For a few bucks, you can change an outfit from plain & simple to snazzy & wild.

Consider alterations. Yeah, it's expensive to have a garment tailored. But it's not crazy-stupid expensive. It's not like buying-a-designer-handbag-or-shoes expensive. You can pay $10 to $20 to get pants or skirts or jacket sleeves shortened or $50 for more major alterations. Add that to the price of the original clothing item, & sure, you've paid more, but then you'll have something that fits well & flatters your unique shape.

Did you know that most everything celebs wear & all the stuff on those makeover shows is altered to fit? It's true, & Clinton Kelly admits it. For that matter, all the clothes worn before about 1920 were custom-made or at least finished to fit -- mass-produced sizing is a pretty new concept. So if you want a truly good fit, no matter your size, the best bet is to make changes to the garment. If you're petite, have hemlines & sleeves taken up & waistlines snugged up. If you're tall or busty, buy a larger size & have the garment fitted to you by a pro.

Obviously, this is a better investment on higher quality garments, not cheap stuff from Target. But tailoring a few good dresses, jackets, & skirts, will give you some awesome go-to outfits for any day of the week.

All of these basics will give your wardrobe a grounded place to start from for an artsy, creative, yet office-appropriate look. It's not simple or fast, of course, because it does require a lot of shopping & trying many things on, including things you may not think will work for you. But experimentation, looking at items & in stores you might never have looked before, is how you'll discover what really works & where you can shop in the future.

Related Links:

• Styling a Single Piece Multiple Ways -- Sal of Already Pretty shows how a basic black skirt can look totally different just by combing it with other wardrobe items.
  
• How to Find a Blazer Jacket That Fits -- Excellent tips from Alterations Needed on what to look for in a great jacket, plus ideas of what reasonable alterations might be needed in even the best of them.
• How to Buy Good Trousers -- Super-detailed analysis of the construction details that separate high-quality pants from poor quality ones, from No Signposts in the Sea. Once you recognize good trousers, those are ones worth alterations too.

What I'm wearing: Black piped jacket, Spiegel | Black T-shirt, Target | Black & white print skirt, White House Black Market | Black tights, Hue | Black kitten-heel pointy shoes, Aldo | Black & white beaded necklace, made by me

Basic Sewing Skills

Because I sew enormous historical and fantasy costumes, people always ask if I sew my own clothes. I immediately answer: HELL NO. I have a job, I have a life! Sewing is a hobby, sure, but it's also a huge time-suck, and when I want something to wear every day to work, I get a lot better return-on-investment from just buying a dress or top from Target or Macy's. Ain't nobody got time for that.

However, having basic sewing skills is a great help for minor alterations that can make off-the-rack clothes fit and look better or be more personalized. This dress is a great example. I saw it on eBay and figured it'd fit, but it was originally about floor-length for 5'2" me. Chopping off a straight hem is super-simple, and hemming by hand gives it a professional look. The alteration took maybe 30 minutes. That's a good ROI!


What I'm wearing: Black pinstripe linen dress, eBay | Black belt, NY & Company | Black tights, Hue | Black heeled lace-up boots, Aerosoles | Black & silver beaded necklace, random accessory store | Black skull earrings, local artisan

El Nino, Meh

Winter has been kind of a bust here in Northern California. After several years of dire drought, we were promised an El Nino winter that would fill the reservoirs and replenish the snowpack. Well ... maybe. We've had some rain, but we're nowhere near "normal" levels, plus many communities are backsliding on water conservation thanks to the occasional storms we've had (thanks, guys). Global warming is still in full effect.

So when not dodging raindrops, I can wear a bit of velvet and suede. Just have to keep watching the weather report to see what tomorrow's like...

What I'm wearing: Black velvet jacket, Black House White Market | Black knit top, Old Navy | Purple velvet skirt, NY & Company | Black & burgundy stripe tights, We Love Colors | Purple suede heeled boots, Poetic License | Black skull earrings, local artist

Whoa, What Happened There?

Sorry for dropping off the face of the blogosphere, folks! No ulterior motive or explanation other than Frock Flicks has eaten my free time, and I like it. If you're going to have a second, unpaid job, you could do worse than be editor-in-chief of a pop culture mega-site co-run with your two best friends. Maybe someday, we'll earn enough to pay off our massive webhosting fees and earn back what we've sunk in podcasting equipment and promo gear! A girl can dream.

I'm still working in a coal mine corporate-style office and wearing appropriately CorpGoth outfits. But I only have a few photos to share. Not sure that I'll be able to get back into that daily routine of outfit-blogging. Keeping it up for nearly 5 years has been amazing, and while I don't know that I'll go back to it, I certainly won't ditch it. For now, here's some links that might be of interest...

Still Weird Zine featured me in November 2015 as one of 10 fabulous fashion bloggers who are keeping it weird (after 40), along with the truly fab Meagan of Coffin Kitsch.

My husband found this article from the Miami New Times that properly credits me with creating the term TropiGoth, which has since entered Urban Dictionary. However, the newspaper's photos are a far cry from my original style.

The Black Rose UK sent this lovely list of the 'ultimate guide' to gothic fashion icons -- worth a look to see how you'd rank your faves and if there's any they missed!

And on my own Frock Flicks, during our recent Snark Week, I took a cheeky look at gothic historical fashion in film. Check it out and let me know what you think.



What I'm wearing: Black T-shirt, Target | Black & white knit double-breasted jacket, Marshalls | Pink skirt, NY & Company | Black tights, Calvin Klein | Black flats, Zappos | Skull necklace & skull earrings, random accessory store | Pink & black bag, gift from my mom

Homework Assignment: October!

I'm back! Well, I'm trying for one post, anyway, because The Professor has a really good homework assignment. She says "show us what you love about this time of year," and of course, I love so much about October and fall that I had to come back to this blog to share. (I haven't been offline, though, oh no, I'm blogging up a storm at Frock Flicks, which is why I don't have time to blog here, sorry!).

October in Northern California is a tricksy thing. We may still be having Indian Summer, or as some folks call it, Earthquake Weather (which is a myth, but when the '89 Loma Prieta Quake struck on October 17, the day was bright and sunny). Or we might have delightful crisp fall days. It's a real crapshoot. The weather may swing between the two, and you won't get any notice. So while I *want* to wear sweaters and tall boots every day, it's a better idea to wear layers that I can strip off if the afternoon is sticky hot.

I do loves me a pumpkin spice latte, and if anyone calls me a basic bitch, I will smack them upside the head. I've always loved pumpkin flavors, real and imaginary. It's weird because my mom isn't a fan, so I didn't grow up eating much pumpkin. Sadly, my husband doesn't like pumpkin either, so I can't make or get a pumpkin pie or pumpkin curry at home unless I want to eat it all myself. So mostly, I enjoy the lattes and random pumpkin dishes at restaurants. And decorating with pumpkins too!

Of course, I love all things Halloween, whether or not we're hosting a party (which would be the Famous Dead Person's Ball, an event we do every couple of years). This year, we're trying to renovate our bathroom, so no party here, and the invites are starting to roll in. Not sure what I'll be doing on All Hallow's Eve, but there better be a costume involved :)

What do you love about this time of year?

What I'm Wearing:
Black piped jacket, Spiegel
Black T-shirt, Target
Black & white spiderweb skirt, made by me
Black tights, Haynes
Black cutout leather flats, Zappos
Black, silver, & rhinestone choker necklace, random accessory store
Gunmetal skull earrings, Walgreens
Prada bifocals

Did I Mention Stripes?

Yep, more stripes. I'm a stripes junkie!

I bought a few new things for my wardrobe, thanks to the new job, and almost all them are stripey. So there you go.

What I'm wearing: Black & white stripe knit top, H&M | Black skirt, NY & Company | Black tights, Calvin Klein | Silver grey wedges, Anne Klein | Black & pink crystal dangly earrings, random accessory store | Pink skull necklace, gift from Elisa

Stripes, That's All I Got

I just have to admit that stripes have taken over half my wardrobe. It's beyond obsession, it's a way of life. I see work-appropriate clothing in black and white stripe, I buy it. No control. No regrets.

This is another White House | Black Market item. Irresistible. The neckline is very strappy (and you can barely see in the picture, but it's bejeweled), which I thought might not be quite right for work. But add a cardigan -- usually necessary for the air-conditioned office -- and this is perfect. Plus, it's a nice, thick knit, so it's comfortable for work too.

What I'm wearing: Black & white stripe knit dress, White House  Black Market | Burgundy peplum sweater, Anthropologie | Black tights, Calvin Klein | Burgundy suede cutout pumps, Soffit | Silver skull earrings, random accessory store

Five CorpGoth Interview Tips

In the past few years, I've gone on dozens of interviews as I've searched for my ideal job. What to wear to an interview is always a consideration -- not as crucial as writing the perfect resume and cover letter or making a great impression during the phonescreen and in the interview itself, but how you look will be part of that first impression, so it does matter, there's no denying it.

For goths and others with non-mainstream appearances, we have to ride the line between self-expression and fitting in to the desired job's requirements and company culture. The potential employer has to be able to see you as someone who already works there, and anything that distracts, whether in your CV or your fashion, is not a helpful.

You'll probably want to tone down the overall goth effect, but you shouldn't have to hide your true self entirely either. How you balance this will depend on what kind of job you're applying for, what industry you're working in, and how advanced you are in your career. But in my experience, these few tips may help...

1. Research the employer to find out what's appropriate. In Silicon Valley, most companies are business casual, but industries like finance and law will tend to be more conservative and (literally) buttoned-up. Retail jobs will vary wildly, and academic positions can have their own very specific cultures. Big corporations may have information on their websites that give ideas about what it's like to work there, and you get a lot of insider info about tech companies on Glassdoor.com. Ask around, online and off. Be prepared! You don't want to be wearing suits when nobody wears suits or vice versa.

2. Reconsider all black. Yes, wearing all black is often a safe bet for goths, but it can appear too goth, too dark, too morbid for first appearances. Remember the Gothic Color Theory, and break up black with one other dark color or white. Or try a pattern like stripes. Mixing it up and avoiding all black can make you look more approachable and friendly in an interview.

3. Have one (but just one) personal trademark. Is your hair hot pink? Do you have full sleeve tattoos? If you have something permanent and visible, that's going to be your trademark, the visual cue people will remember from your interview. Try not to clutter up your style with anything else. Otherwise, pick one thing -- such as a great piece of jewelry or killer boots -- and let that be your trademark.

4. Dress one notch more formally for casual workplaces. Particularly with places like retail and high-tech, where it looks like everyone is dressed super casually, you may want to start off by interviewing just a smidge more dressy than what is standard on the job. Don't go super-formal, just a touch more. So if everyone is wearing jeans, wear trousers or a skirt, for example.

5. Remember that shoes and bags matter. You don't need to spit-polish your boots or carry a designer bag, just pay attention to your accessories. Having a cohesive, polished head-to-toe look will help give a professional first impression, gothic or not. Shine up an nasty scuffs on those pointy-toe boots, and swap out a simple tote bag instead of a backpack. You'll inevitably need to grab a copy of your CV out of that bag, so it should look as presentable as the rest of you.

In interviews for jobs I've gotten, I've talked about sewing historical costumes, and interviewers have complimented me on my bat necklace and skull earrings. I do let my freak flag fly, but subtly, and after I've gotten my foot in the door. Besides, if any potential employer Googles me, they'll find this blog and my costume website, so it's not like I can hide anyway!

What I'm wearing: Black cardigan, Macy's | Purple T-shirt, Target | Grey striped skirt, Nordstroms | Black tights, Calvin Klein | Black flats, Aerosoles | Grey beaded necklace, gift from a friend | Onyx skull earrings, local artist

Sponsorship Woes and Wishes

While I currently run Google ads on this site*, I haven't done much in the way of monetization or sponsorships. But I do get contacted by companies every so often asking to do promotions of some kind. The problem I have with this is usually that they're the wrong kind of business. They just don't fit.

Mostly, businesses see the "Goth" part of "CorpGoth" and seem to think that I'd be up promoting the same old, traditional gothic-punk clothing on my blog. Clothes similar to what Hot Topic would sell.  Everything is far too tight, short, and bondage-y for any office I'd ever work in! Hello, have these businesses looked at the photos on my blog? I don't wear spandex skull-printed dresses, ever! Even in my casual weekend wear. Nope, not my thing, not even when I was a lot younger and actually went to nightclubs.

I'd be interested if some high-end, sophisticated gothic businesses selling unique accessories, jewelry, and shoes contacted me, even Etsy artists and designers making custom CorpGoth clothing. But there has to be a corporate edge, not just goth-in-a-box. People can find that anywhere, and that's not what I'm interested in. My blog and my fashion is all about making goth from the ordinary and putting a gothic touch on mainstream office style. Any sponsor has to fit within this aesthetic as well.

That's why the one sponsored post I've done so far worked well. eShakti contacted me and offered a free dress, and that was fantastic because their designs are very goth-able. I'm happy to recommend their products.

One company I really wish would contact me is White House | Black Market -- omg, that store IS CorpGoth! I've mentioned it before because several of my very favourite wardrobe pieces are from there. Everything at White House | Black Market is, as the name implies, white or black, and every season (or more often), another color is added.  Oh, and frequently used patterns include stripes and damask. So it's custom-made for goths. The clothing styles are tailored and a little bit feminine, which makes it an excellent base for going either sleek and sophisticated or extra fancy. Garments are pricey but well made -- they're lined, made of thick fabrics, and have substantial buttons and trims. My only complaint is that sizes stop at 14, and there are no plus sizes. Still, if anyone at White House | Black Market happens to read this, contact me!

(Other brands I'd be happy to sponsor include Calvin Klein for their tights, which I wear almost every freakin' day, and shoes and boots from Aldo, Aerosoles, or Clarks, because I can walk miles in them! Anyone out there listening?)

What I'm wearing: Black velveteen jacket, White House Black Market | White & black damask-print knit sleeveless top, White House Black Market | Burgundy skirt, NY & Company | Black strappy flats, Macy's | Black tights, Calvin Klein | Onyx skull earrings, local artist | Beaded bat necklace, gift from friends

*I'll probably take them down soon. The content is stupid, they don't make any money, they're ugly, it was just a random shot in the dark. But it's almost as much of a PITA to remove them as it was to put them up; that's probably why so many sites have Google ads even tho' they don't earn much.

Thank You, eBay

I've been shopping on eBay forever. Really, since eBay first became a thing. I've bought everything from furniture to wigs to computer equipment on eBay, and I've sold a fair amount of my junk too (tho' not as much recently as in the early days).

My latest find was this stripey skirt, which I'd first seen at one of my very favorite stores, White House | Black Market, but my size was out of stock. I forgot about it, until a few weeks ago, when my saved eBay search on this label in my size turned up the very same skirt. And at a third the original price. The skirt arrived in perfect condition.

What's your best eBay score?

What I'm wearing: Black piped jacket, Speigel | Black T-shirt, Target | Black, white, & purple stripe skirt, White House Black Market (via eBay) | Black tights, Calvin Klein | Purple velvet pumps, Rocket Dog | Purple crystal necklace, gift from Lisa | Purple dangly bat-painted earrings, local artist | Purple lipstick, Sephora house brand

In Lieu of Red & Black Week

Don't know if Sophistique Noir is running a Red & Black Week this year, but I couldn't hold back with this skirt. I bought it on a wee shopping binge because I started a new job (yay!).

Of course, this job, like most everything else here in Silicon Valley, is business casual, but this is how CorpGoth goes business casual, LOL. I love my pencil skirts and fitted jackets, even if I'm surrounded by everyone else in jeans and tees.

Thus, red and black stripes. I bought the same skirt in white and black stripes because, well, stripes, duh. Wouldn't you?

What I'm wearing: Black knit top with dimensional roses, Newport News | Red & black stripe lace skirt, Limited | Black tights, Calvin Klein | Black lace-up heeled boots, Aerosoles | Onxy skull earrings, local artist

Placeholder Post

I'd like to write something, really I would. But I barely have time to get dressed right now. So consider this a placeholder for when I'm back with more daily CorpGoth outfits and maybe an interesting post or two!

What I'm wearing: Black, white, & grey dress, made by Donna | Black tights, Calvin Klein | Black perforated d'orsay flats, Target | Black bat necklace, Walgreens | Silver medallion earrings, random accessory store

Changes Are Afoot

Not saying anything yet, but I've got new stuff going on. Good stuff, just making me more busy than ever! We shall see where this leads to :)

What I'm wearing: Grey sheath dress, Target | Black & white floral cardigan, White House Black Market | Black tights, Calvin Klein | Silver-grey wedges, Anne Klein | Black bat necklace, Walgreens | Silver hoop earrings, random accessory store

Historical Gothic Horror on TV

It's kind of a cliche that goths watch horror movies and TV shows, but like most cliches, there's an element of truth in there. Mysteries, murders, vampires, ghosts, the supernatural, creepy crawly things -- these are as essential to the gothic aesthetic as black velvet, leather, punk music, and stompy boots. After all, "Bela Lugosi's Dead" by Bauhaus was one of the goth scene's earliest anthems, and the song makes obvious references to classic horror films of the 1930s and gothic vampire literature of the 19th century before that.

Currently, television is giving us quite a selection of horror-themed dramas to choose from, along with the more typical movies (in theaters or streaming). I'm particularly interested in several series that have been set in historical periods, since that pushes all my buttons with the potential for gothic historical costumes and ambiance, plus dark spooky stories.

Over on Frock Flicks, I reviewed Penny Dreadful, a beautiful, elegant, and very deliciously dark serial available on Showtime and Amazon.com. The second season just started. I also reviewed the TV movie Lizzie Borden Took an Ax and the subsequent TV serial The Lizzie Borden Chronicles, playing on Lifetime and also on Netflix. This movie and series stars Christina Ricci of Addams Family fame and has one more episode airing next Sunday. It's not clear if there will be a season two.

I'm planning to review Salem, a fantasy-gothic series on WGN about 17th-century witches, and Ripper Street, a police procedural set in 19th-century London following Jack the Ripper; it was on the BBC and BBC America, and now it's available from Amazon.com.

What are your favorite shows in this genre I'm missing? What shows am I missing?

What I'm wearing: Black maxi-dress, Macy's | Burgundy peplum sweater, Anthropologie | Black & burgundy striped tights, We Love Colors | Beaded bat necklace, gift from friends

A Meme About the Bod

1a. Do you generally feel good-looking? (or sexy or handsome or beautiful or something good?)
Generally, yes. Especially on weekdays because I put care and thought into my work wardrobe (even tho' few people see me at the office!). Presenting a polished, professional-yet-artsy image is important to me. Then again, at home and on the weekends, I'm a total slob. Basically, my looks are tied to my clothes more than anything else.

1b. When do you feel good? Do particular things trigger that feeling?
It's all about the clothes! If I have a great outfit, things that go well together and easily (nothing pulling or fussy, everything flattering my shape), hair done, makeup, accessories, cool shoes, then I feel good in the looks dept.

2a. Do you often feel unattractive? (or ugly or something bad?)
When I'm schlumpy -- wearing frumpy clothes, hair is not behaving, no lipstick. I have to really love you if I let you see me like that!

2b. When do you feel bad? Do particular things trigger that feeling?
Random physical aches and pains (hi, 40s, fuck you very much), added to my long-term migraines, get me really irritated with my body. What triggers bad feelings? Stress, having to be too much of an adult, lack of sleep, nothing special.

3. What do you like about your body? (Examples: strength, abilities, the look of a particular body part)
My brain, of course! My hands, both what they can do and they look pretty neat. I think I have a particularly attractive chest, not just boobs, but the neck and decollete area. I love dresses and tops that show this off.

4. What don't you like about your body? (appearance or other aspects)
That I have to wear glasses and that contacts are all-but useless on me. Migraine brain. Face still gets acne like crazy. Frizzy hair that's still short. Weight fluctuations.

5. Would you consider plastic surgery?
Never! I've only had my body cut into for repairs, not enhancements. Don't even like the idea of LASIK -- I've heard horror stories, and why take chances on something that is not absolutely crucial to health?

6a. What would you realistically change about your body?
Keep dying those greys! And if I could actually drop 10lbs, that might be nice -- but it's not something I'm particularly working on.

6b. What would you unrealistically change about your body?
Be able to see properly without glasses. No migraines ever again. For cancer to definitely, positively, absolutely not come back.

7. Do you think you treat your body well?
Not so much. I am not a "body" person -- I'm very cerebral. Focusing on my body is difficult.

8. Do you think your body treats you well?
Nope. We are often at odds.

9. What kind of relationship do you have with your looks? With your body?
I might over-inflate my looks. I often think I'm super hot stuff -- I was especially like that when I was single. I was of the opinion that I could get any guy or gal I wanted, so I always tried. Came in handy sometimes, caused disappointment other times. As an old married lady, I'm less over-confident in that way, but I've done similar things when shopping. I'll grab inappropriate clothing, get into the dressing room, and am  bitterly disappointed when the item looks horrible on me.

10. Do you think the world sees you the same way you see yourself?
I can't really tell. Sometimes I think people are impressed by me and other times I think I'm a complete wallflower. I don't think I photograph well -- I can feel great and look in the mirror and think I look great, and then I see photos from that day and I look awful. So I wonder if that's how people really see me. Weird.


What I'm wearing: Grey knit dress, bought in London | Black tights, Calvin Klein | Silver-grey wedges, Anne Klein | Black & purple scissor medallion necklace, gift from Lisa | Silver & purple crystal earrings, gift from Lisa

Window Shopping

This probably frustrates ecommerce websites, but I love to stick things in online shopping carts and let them stay there for as long as possible, as long as the website will remember it, until I'm good and ready to buy. Days or weeks or a month ideally.

Amazon.com is the best for this. I always have a few things just sitting there, waiting. I'll add more things, remove others. I may buy nothing for months, then buy everything in the cart. Or I'll clear it all out and start over again. It's better than Pinterest because nobody can see and I don't have to setup a private board, plus I can tally up actual prices so I know how much it would cost if I were to buy.

Right now, I'm looking at a window-ledge seat thing for my kittens, some sewing accessories, and a folding table to use at SCA events. Boring practical stuff, but things I've been meaning to get for a while. Not sure if or when I'll buy any or all of them.

What are you window shopping for?


What I'm wearing: Pink print cardigan, Chadwicks | Black jeweled T-shirt, Macy's | Corduroy skirt, H&M | Black tights, Calvin Klein | Black ankle boots, Aldo | Pink & grey pearl necklace, Designs by Salamanca | Skull earrings, Walgreens

Wednesday Wondering: Teach Your Children Well

Prompt: What's the most important thing your parents or guardians taught you as a child?
Self-reliance. Independence. My mother was a single mom, and both directly and through example, she taught me to be independent and to take care of myself. Whether it was something as simple as doing the laundry or as complicated as finding a paying job, if I asked her "how do I do this?" her first reaction would be "have you tried? did you take a look for yourself?" She'd give me help and instructions, but she would not do it for me. She taught me to figure things out for myself and not rely on someone else. This is the single most valuable ability I gained growing up. I may not be able to do everything for myself, but I can try.

She also taught me to sew, which is pretty cool :) Not as important on a day-to-day basis, but it got me into costuming, through which I've made many great friends. My mom is awesome, and I learned a lot from her!


Questions culled from the discontinued Writer's Block feature on LiveJournal.

What I'm wearing: Black ruffled blouse, thrift store | Grey striped skirt, Nordstrom | Black tights, Calvin Klein | Purple suede pumps, Aerosoles | Silver & purple crystal earrings, gift from lisa

From Lingerie to Utility Devices

I feel like there's a certain point, probably age 40, when I officially joined the Old Lady Club. I needed new bras, and let me tell you young 'uns, buying bras when you're older is not half so entertaining as buying them when you're all cute and perky. Lordy, the only thing "perky" about me these days is that I wear a fair amount of pink and sometimes don a tiara when downing Cosmos.

Luckily, Macy's had a big sale: Buy two of most major brands and get two free. Score! I've resigned myself to going to the big department stores in order to acquire the amount of integrity I need in my lingerie. Victoria's Secret won't do it either -- those are just party bras. My husband occasionally gives me a gift certificate for there, and I'll buy some bras which fit but are simply not everyday wear.

I have to admit that the most comfortable bra I found at Macy's had the slightly depressing tag that read, in big, bold letters: "age-defying lift." Thanks for the reminder. And all the ones I found that fit and did anything complimentary were, uh, hard-shell bras. I couldn't find a single soft-sided bra in my size.

When I was a kid, one of my chores was to sort & fold everyone's laundry in the house. I remember looking at my mom's bras & wondering why they had those wires & padding. Not like "uplift" padding (this was the '70s, waaaaay before the WonderBra era), just the "full-coverage" padding. I figured I'd never wear stuff like that. Yet here I am. I think it's just what happens *shrug*

What I'm wearing:  Black lace-topped T-shirt, H&M | Pink & white skirt, made by Donna | Black ruffled shrug sweater, Kohl's | Black tights, Calvin Klein | Black flats, Aerosoles | Pink filigree earrings, Etsy | Black elastic belt, NY & Company