All Rested Up and a MIl Update - Last Chance to Enter Giveaway

Whew-This past month really whipped me and Thanksgiving seemed to cap it all off.  I spent the last week doing a general house cleaning overhaul.  It seemed more like spring here than Thanksgiving, between the spring cleaning and the 70-80 degree weather.  Now the house feels good and fresh, but the projects continue.  Working with a non-existent budget makes things go at a much slower pace.  I do have several projects to reveal soon. And I will be posting a new giveaway this afternoon.  The Cheerios Cheer Project giveaway ends tonight so hurry to enter.  I love the cereal dispenser. 


Neil's Mom progress is much harder to judge.  One day we go in and she looks so much more alert and you just know things are turning around.  Then the next day, not so much.  I'm really concerned about her being so swollen and warm feeling.  She did run a low grade fever this weekend.  They are still hoping to ween her off the ventilator but haven't yet.  They continue to treat her for infection also.  Neil seems to be coping with things much better for now.  I hope God is giving him this time to prepare and adjust for the inevitable, whether it be now or a year from now.


The outpouring of love, support and prayers from all of you in blogland have been what kept me and continues to keep me strong.  God bless you all for being exactly who you are....the best friends ever!

Love....Tracy

P. S.  Just in case you haven't heard it enough, don't forget to enter my giveaways, just click the pictures below.  And be sure to watch for 2 great new giveaways for your home, starting later today.

Cheerios Spread the Cheer

  EatSmart Retro Scale

 

MIL Update and I'm Missing My Head

Hey Ya'll.  

I thought I'd better first spend some time taking care of blog business before giving ya'll an update this morning.  

So I just spent the last hour plus writing my latest blog giveaway and posting it - only to DELETE it.  Uggghhhh!!!  Where is my head?  So before I go back to repeat that process lets go right to the update.


Neil's mom had the tracheotomy done Thursday and we really had high hopes for things to improve.  So did the doctors.  The news by phone this morning is a little more positive then last night. From Friday until now we still haven't had his mom open her eyes to us or  communicate with us in any way.  She has been off the sedation but not waking up.  When the nurses work with her shes does put up a little fight, which is good.  She's been very swollen every since the trach and that has us worried.  The Dr. even said last night that he was still searching for answers on why she didn't seem better.  He seemed very surprised by it.  But when I spoke to the nurse by phone this morning she said she was awake and responding to her.  She also said they are waiting for placement for her at the specialty hospital.  So that does sound better.  


I  hope you continue to pray for our family.  Tensions are high as Neil and I are both getting tired and starting to come down with colds.  Not a good time for that with us needing to see his mother daily.  Please pray for my spirit.  I'm usually very empathic during trying times but I'm ashamed to say that lately it seems I'm getting short and irritable.  Just being real.  I pray that the spirit of our Lord with prevail and fill my house and me with a better attitude and peace.


Thank each and everyone of you for your loving kindness during this scary time.

Update and Please Keep Praying Request

I'm sorry that I haven't been able to put something fun and upbeat on my blog lately.  I know you all understand.  This is just a quick up date because it so late early and I've got to get to bed.


Mom is still holding her own.  She still has a twinkle in her eye and tries to communicate some.  We found her in terrible shape yesterday or the day before.  They're all running together.  We came in and no one was with her or outside her CCU window, yet they had taken her off the C-Pap mask to see if she could withstand a regular mask.  While Neil was washing her hands - she popped her eyes open and was in distress.  She was soaking wet, clammy and couldn't breath.  Once again God had someone come in at the exact moment necessary!  Does that speak for it not being her time?  It seems to, to me.  I ran and got a Dr at the next room immediately and they put the C-Pap back on.  She's just too weak for the other mask.  They had her on it for about an hour they said.  They try this 3 times per shift which is a total of 6 times a day.  Can someone explain why they would not be there during this time?  That seems crazy to me.


Anyway today they inserted the ventilator tube again in preparation for doing a tracheotomy tomorrow morning.  At least she won't suffer with that awful C-Pap mask that was so tight on her little face and digging into her eyes and the ridge of her nose.  It was drying her out so much.  I don't even want to tell you had awful it was.  With the trach she won't have the mask on or the tube in her throat and the can at least suction the liquid building up in her lungs.  


I really would say this is too much for her if I didn't believe she was still fighting.  Several times she has smiled and even laughed with the mask on.  She has that I'm happy to see you twinkle in her eyes.  Neil has asked her and even the nurse if she still wanted to fight or would she rather go be with the family in heaven and she clearly let us know which, even though she couldn't talk.  And to me God has clearly had someone walk in at the exact moment she's in distress TWICE!  Last night's (Tues) nurse said she was so cute.  She took moms mask off for just a moment to clean her mouth, which she fights and gets made about, (she doesn't have to take her face and hands let you know).  Anyway mom looked up at her and said "Thank you honey, but I don't need you to do that and patted the nurses hand".  Awe.......  Gosh we love you mom.


Back to prayers.  THANK YOU ALL for all the tremendous prayers you've been sending up.  MIRACLES ~ that's what I call them, came from all your prayers.  Please if you have a moment say one more for the tracheotomy tomorrow.  I know she would be so thankful herself if she knew.  I'm sure she'd pat you on the hand and say, "don't worry about me Honey, I'm just fine".

God bless you all.  Love, Tracy & Neil

MIL Update and Lots of Photos To Share

I want to thank all my friends that visit so regularly.  You all know who you are.  I also want to say my new followers have been noticed and are so appreciated.  I haven't forgotten anyone and don't want you to think I'm taking you for granted because y'all are my sunshine each day.  I've been trying to post on a more steady basis and that usually means going to bed close to day light and then sleeping late, jumping up and running again.  It's a vicious cycle.  Neil and I are both still fighting that nasty depression that wants to hold us down and keep us from facing the day too.  But that's okay, after long talks with Jesus, I know I'm not alone and feel better.  So don't lose faith in me because I will find time to get some visiting in this week or weekend.


Things have just been so busy lately.  Nadine was released from the hospital and sent back to the nursing home yesterday.  She is still on antibiotics and we're not sure what caused her sugar to spike like that but she is so very much better.  We aren't too happy with the nursing home she is in and have been out trying to check out some others and looking for one with an opening.  I don't think Florida can ever have enough nursing homes.  I can only imagine what it's like in South Florida.  Plus we have been trying to take care of legal paperwork, burial policies, etc.


Y'all remember me saying that I had made a little photo album for Nadine to look at?  Well, I never took pictures before giving it to her but it came home for repairs and I thought I'd share the photos with you.
The first one is of Neil's Mom and Dad on their wedding day, leaving the church.  This was 1941 or 1947.

 

 I love that picture of them smiling.  I included a copy of a page out of her wedding book too.

Neil's Dad wasn't here for long.  He died in a car accident when Neil was only 12 years old.

His Dad actually started flying planes as just a boy of 12 or 13.  That's why I went with the plane theme.  I tried to use old cards for the words so that she'd know who she was looking at.  I still need to print everyones name.

This is the house that they built themselves.  The house Neil spent his early years in.

This is the home she remembers most and sometimes talks about going back home, thinking she still lives there

This is another favorite photo of Neils Dad with him and his 2 older twin brothers William and David.

 Aren't the boys cute?  William, David and Neil with Santa, probably 1953 of 54.  Neil's brothers were 2 years older then him.  As the boys walked home from school, only a couple of weeks after his father was killed, a drunk driver hit David right in front of the house, killing him.  Such a tragic time for this young family.

Neil and William all grown up and visiting Mom in the 1990's.

This is Nadine at her niece Hazel's home.  Everyone always said they looked so much alike.  She unfortunately died very young.

Neil's Mom while visiting friends.

A photo of William at the office.  He worked hard and played hard.  He loved deep sea fishing.  Well any fishing,  he loved the outdoors.  He passed away only about 5 years ago.

This is Williams daughter Alisa.  Nadine's Granddaughter.

Alisa had twin boys just like her Grandma.  These are her twins Gage and Gray. Nadine's great grand children.

Here's the boy's more recent photos.

Neil and I aren't big picture takers but I had to add one of us at a Jaguars football game.

I added this photo of our Grandson Zack.  He's the little rodeo fellow in the black cowboy hat.  I love this photo from when they lived in Nebraska.  I don't know who that adorable Opie looking kid is.

A more recent sports picture is our Grandkids Zack and Ki'a.  It's still a couple of years old.

At the end I included a photo of Nadines high school from her 50th reunion booklet.

 I also made a copy of the little bio of her life that she submitted for the booklet.

I'm so glad I made this for her (and that I had the good sense to use copies).  She has spent so much time looking at it.  But the other day when Neil went to visit her, she had taken the photos apart and torn up a lot of pages.  I'm talking, ripped the plastic off to get to them.  Several were stuck together with glue and some were placed in an angel magazine I had taken her.  She's so funny.  So it's time to repair and come of with a more full proof album.  I have a few more old photos to add too.

Are you worn out yet?  You should be good and sick of photos.  

And if you've enjoyed your visit I hope you'll leave me a comment. Even if it's just to say hi.  I really do love to read them.  They all mean so much.

Have the best day, y'all!

***Don't forget to enter my Purex Crystals giveaway here.  There will be 3 winners***

Sweet Relief - Praises to the Lord shouted!

Wonderful news!!!!

Nadine came through  the surgery fine.  The Dr. was very please with how well it went. 

We were so impressed with the surgeon.  He said he never goes into surgery without praying.  He knows that he is only an extension to be used by God.  After hugging us (he looked so relieved) he had tears in his eyes before walking away and said "you know this is very depressing for me to remove a body part, I'm just grateful God uses me for something good."   

God bless this Doctor!  When we met him before the surgery and he told us he prayed, I felt so relieved.  I felt like we were in very good hands. I told him we had prayed as well and that I had so many praying for him and the surgery.  He seemed to be very grateful for those prayers and later commented on how good God was.

How do I express the shear joy and relief I feel.  My chest was so heavy when I left for the hospital.  I'm actually a little ashamed of the little faith that I had.  I don't know of anyway to tell you how much your prayers did for us.  That was what gave me the strength to be there for Neil and not completely break down.

But can I share something weird with you?

I cried with relief , my heart soared when the Dr. came out and told us how well things went.  When we saw her smiling face, so innocent not knowing what had even happened,  I was relieved beyond measure.  

So why am I now feeling really funny, almost like a black cloud has come over me?  Don't get me wrong, God is so good and answered our prayers.  I am so so grateful that this is over and that she's okay.  She actually seemed better afterward, of course they are giving her pain medicine, but I was expecting groggy and she was so alert.  But why do I now feel this overwhelming sadness and blueness coming on?  It doesn't seem to be directed anywhere particular.

These were the first passages I read after I got home tonight.  I thought I would share them with y'all.  If I could shout his praises from the mountain top I would.  

This is my mountain top.

Psalms 66: 3-5

How awe-inspiring are your deeds, O God!  How great your power!  No wonder your enemies surrender!  All the earth shall worship you and sing of your glories.  Come, see the glorious things God has done.  What marvelous miracles happen to his people!  

Psalms 66: 16-20

Come and hear, all of you who reverence the Lord, and I will tell you what he did for me:  For I cried to him for help, with praises ready on my tongue.  He would not have listened if I had not confessed my sins.  But he listened!  He heard my prayer! He paid attention to it!  Blessed be God who didn't turn away when I was praying, and didn't refuse me his kindness and love.

Surgery is scheduled and your prayers are needed

Thank all of you for every single prayer and all the good wishes that you've sent over the last several months.  Well now we're down to the wire.  The amputation is scheduled for 11:30 tomorrow.  They will take everything below the knee.  

I'm sick at the thought of her having to go through this.  To be honest the thought panics me as much for myself as it does for Nadine and Neil. I don't want to be like that because Neil needs me and Nadine needs us.  

If you happen to think about her tomorrow at that time please send up a little prayer for God's will and for their comfort.  Of course, it goes without saying, your prayers and good thoughts are welcome any time.

God Bless you all........Tracy and Neil

When Was It That We Became Cat People

I don't think you've seen my Mother-In-Laws cat.  This sweet (ha-ha) little (ha!) thing is enormous!  We took Nadine to the human shelter to pick out a cat and this one had just arrived.  It was the tiniest little ball of orange fur.  Just adorable and we were the first to see him so we got him.  People were asking about him before we could finish the paperwork.  We even had to wait 2 days before we could bring him home.  Then and there we decided to name him Pumpkin, for clear reasons.  The folks at the shelter had named him Baby Fat.  They obviously knew what was coming.

He went home to live with Nadine where he was spoiled beyond belief.  This was what we now realize was the beginning of her Alzheimers.  She left the door open alot ,the electric bill went sky high, we know because Neil was handling all her paperwork and bills at that time.  She fed him constantly, milk too.  And he knew all he had to do was whine and there she would go giving him whatever he wanted.  Open the door at all hours, eat, just whatever.

Of course when she moved in with us so did spoiled rotten Pumpkin.  Nadine quit calling him Pumpkin after awhile and he was called Nino just like her old cat from years ago.  Pumpkin never seemed to question it he answered her Nino or our Pumpkin.  And this cat can be as loving as can be when he wants to but boy can he be a butt-hole when he wants to, too.  You have no idea how big and how heavy this cat is.  I'm surprised hurt never her Nadine jumping in her lap the way he did.  I think we weighed him once and he was about 26 lbs.  He can throw a punch too.  He is strong. 

We had our own cat Booger, or Boogie as I liked to call him. They never did become friends.  Unfortunately boogie died in December but Pumpkin still here bossing us all around.

Everytime I look at Pumpkin I think about how Nadine would call him Nino and it didn't matter a bit to him she was still Moma.

The Dr called us at home Sunday morning and said they were waiting for the surgeon to come in Monday to look at her foot and schedule the amputation and are also waiting to hear from the heart Dr. with the go ahead.  They should schedule it for Monday or Tuesday, most likely Tuesday.  Of course she doesn't know that anything is going on, which is good.  I think Neil and I are just kind of in shock about it still.  It just doesn't seem real.  I never thought she would be with us this long.  She is so strong and so much tougher than even I realized.

I know y'all must think I'll never blog about anything else or ever quit asking for prayers but please remember her when you go to the Lord with your prayers.

A Beautiful Gift

First,  I'd like to say thank you to all of you that have been praying for us.  We have felt it and it's such a huge comfort.  You're words brightened my day and brought me so much peace.  Love is such a powerful thing.  I love you all!

Don't you just love my new journal?  I'm ashamed that I haven't given y'all a peek sooner.  The sweetest friend Marie from Spun By Me surprised me with it for the New Year.  I just love the beautiful image on the front of the 2 birds lovingly caring for each other and the words "Home Sweet Home".  She also added the definitions for the words Journey, Imagination and dream.  I just love that.  I was so surprised and so touched to know that she took the time to create something for me.  It was perfect timing.  I decided it would be my Gratitude Journal for 2011.

Many of you already know the battle I have with depression.  The swings are the worst.  Months go by that your life seems just fine.  Like everyone else, some days are better than others but that's life, right?  But then when the roller coaster changes and the darkness comes it's such agony.  2010 was not a year that I was sad to see go.  There were many trials and lots of tears.  The biggest blessing from 2010 I can honestly say was the friendships I developed through blogging.  Sometimes that was the only thing that got me through.  And then of course there was the nasty economy, which I don't believe spared anyone from it wrath.  But I still had a home and food and so many suffered worse fates.

The end of the year found me looking forward to 2011 with a renewed sense of HOPE.  With the PRAYERS of  my FRIENDS here, my home saw changes.  The stress in my life was reduced greatly.  Yep, HOPE was the word I found myself thinking of just when I was ready to give in and give up.  

So as 2011 started I chose the word BALANCE to focus on.  You see 2010 was very out of BALANCE.  BALANCE was something that I needed to find, to keep my eye on, so to say.  When Marie sent me the notebook, I thought what could be more perfect?  A place to write down at least 3 things I'm grateful for every day.  Sometimes things have a purpose that we don't first see.  I'm almost certain Marie couldn't have know just how much her gift to me would mean.  How loved and cared about it would make me feel.  I think GOD had a reason in mind.  It's become more than just a Gratitude Journal,  it's also a Prayer Journal.  

Neil and I are facing a lot with his Mother and we will be struggling  to keep BALANCE while we face her battles with her.  The Dr. said that they may amputate her foot as early as today (it's 3:38 am) or possibly wait until Monday.  She isn't aware of anything.  She never asks why she's there or what's going on.  Tonight I thought we were watching her die.  She became choked in her sleep and we sat her up.  She couldn't get her breath.  She started trying to throw up while she couldn't breath she was terrified and so were we.  I went screaming down the hall for help.  I seriously thought, I don't want Neil to see her die like this.  This can't be his last memory.  I pray for GOD'S will to be done, I pray that she passes gently in her sleep.  I thank GOD that he decides all and we don't have to make that kind of decision.

Thank you Marie for such a beautiful gift that has meant more than you could have ever known it would.  Like I said GOD knows what we don't know yet and GOD prepares a way for us.  

Marie your Journal was the result of JESUS calling on one of his earthly Angels to prepare comfort for someone in need.  Thank you for hearing that call and being that ANGEL on earth for me!

I hope y'all have a wonderful weekend.  Hugs...Tracy :)

Prayers are needed

I'm at a loss.  I don't know what to do, how to think, what to say.  The Dr. went in to open a vein in Nadine's leg today.  It didn't go well and it's not looking very promising.  They were not able to get much flow below the knee.  The foot has warmth but the toes are still like ice and the toe with the blister looks bad.  The Dr. told Neil he needs to be thinking about what would be best for his mother.  I don't even know what he means really.  He said he was afraid the toe might turn gangrene.  He said they can try just removing the toe or possibly the majority of the foot.  He said they would just watch it a couple of days and see if the white blood cell count goes up which would mean infection.  


It looks bad to me.  Lord knows,  she is 90 1/2.  How much can she take?  I don't even know what to pray for.  I just don't want to see her go through so much.  As you can tell by now, she's always been such a strong woman.  Neil's at the hospital with her now.  I know I sound like I'm rambling but that's exactly what my head feels like right now.  No one should have to go through this at that age.


Please keep her in your thoughts and if you do pray please, please pray for mercy for her.  I'm just devasted.
Love...Tracy

Thank you for your prayers

Just a quick post before heading off to bed.  I wanted to thank all of you for lifting my family up in prayer.  Nadine (MIL) seemed much better today as far as being awake and alert and even giggling.  We really can't understand a word she says but we can enjoy the smile and giggle.

Bless her heart, she can't even have ice or water and her mouth is so dry.  She kept asking us for water yesterday and Sunday, which is something she hasn't wanted in months.  Her little tongue is just peeling.  We can swab it out but that's it.  Before we left tonight she was running a fever of 101 again and starting to be in pain again.  We can see her jerking, shaking and wincing in pain but when we're asking her where it hurts by the time she understands what we're saying the pain has stopped for a moment and she says she doesn't have any.  It's so hard to watch.

Tomorrow the Dr is going to have to go in the same leg as before and try to open the vein again.  Blood is not going to the foot, I'm worried that they may have to remove it.  Can you imagine going through this at 90?  It just breaks my heart.  After giving her the blood transfusion Sunday her blood count is back up to 7 point something which is better than when she came in but not near the 9 it really should be.  I think they said a normal person is about 12 or 13.  I am so NOT a medical person.

They did put a pick in to give her her meds and take blood, etc.  Sunday 3 veins blew after or during taking blood or giving an IV.  Her body went through so much on Sunday.

So there you go.  This is were we are and I really don't know where that is.  I don't know if you can imagine the comfort y'all provide by answering my prayer request.  When I'm so scared and frightened, seeing her in that kind of pain the only thing I can think to do, is ask you to lift her in prayer.  THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

I know I haven't been around much lately and that seems to be my song a lot but I think about all of y'all each day and do want to post something besides request.  I still have the word balance in my heart this year and am working on it.  Hopefully you will see it come to fruition this year.

Much love to you all.  OOOXXX's....Tracy :)

Things are Slowy Getting Back to Normal

Well at least for the next few hours.  Our Lord is teaching me patience in the moments of panic.  In this rushed season I'm an learning to take things as they come which can change at a moments notice.

One thing I am blessed to have is my joy back.  My joy for Christmas this year with no expectations.  I'm happy to have the blessing of peace in my home.  The tenderness of love so long missed.

Our days are like a roller coaster now but there is an underlying calm and security knowing God has answered so many prayers for my family and me.  I know this is due to the links of a strong prayer chain.  You can't imagine how I hurt last year at this time.  If you would have asked me only two months ago what my future held I would have told you I had no idea and no real hope.  I would have said my family life was hopeless.  Thank God our sweet, loving Savior didn't give up on the girl with the poor attitude and low self esteem.  The hopeless seeming girl who couldn't bring love to anyone around her.

But I'm drifting off subject again....

My MIL Nadine has been transfer back to the nursing/rehab.  Neil was in a good mood after seeing her the night she transferred but the next evening came home in tears.  She was in bed, not responding, and moaning.  He must have cried the whole way home.  I could see it as soon as he walked in the door.  

Yesterday we went together to visit her and found her in her room sitting in the wheel chair.  We were both so surprised to see her looking well and being in such a good mood.  See, this is what I mean about a roller-coaster.  Bless her heart, she's kind of hard to understand now and not much makes sense but still it was a big relief to Neil and me too.  Neil didn't sleep at all the night before.  When we asked her what she'd been doing, she said making beds and cleaning the bathroom, washing clothes, stuff like that.  She told us about riding out to Callahan to get something for Neil.  She said she told her Mom that Neil would be coming by.  Of course her Mother has been gone since Neil was young.  I don't mind hearing these things if she's happy and she certainly seemed to be.  We took her for a stroll in the wheel chair and they have a sweet little ice cream parlor opened for 2 hours, 3 days a week.  We went in and got her some.  It was the first thing she has literally  put in her mouth in at least a month since she's been on the feeding tubes and pegs.  It was wonderful seeing her enjoy it but you could tell she's weak and really doesn't remember how to eat but it all came back.  She doesn't even realize that she doesn't eat food anymore.  Then we went in the dining room where they had someone come in to play the piano and sing.  There were lots of Christmas carols.  He even sang Route 66, a Nat King Cole standard, that made me think of Paula from Paula's Altered Palace of Art.  And my favorite "Fly Me to the Moon"!  Oh' how I love those beautiful old songs and NO I'm not that old.  

So to tie that up with a bow we had a very nice day.  We came home to record cold weather (low of 22 degrees), That's cold in Florida!!!  Luckily I had made a big batch of chili a week or so ago and taken some out of the freezer.  YUM!!!

Between the hospital and trying to keep up with a couple of swaps that I had already committed to I haven't been able to get to you wonderful, sweet and loving friends that have comforted me through this.  But I've got my swaps done and the trees started so I hope to get online tonight or tomorrow because I want to let each one of you know what you've meant.

So here's to hoping and wishing that in your hearts you already know how much you mean to me, that you're keeping warm and cozy today and that your enjoying the spirit of the season as much as I am.  I could just cry in the most wonderful way today!!!

Loads of love, hugs and happy wishes.  God bless y'all,

Tracy :)